Saturday, June 30, 2007

Another of Kelse and Cammy's Big Houses

SELLERS: Kelsey and Camille Grammer
LOCATION: Beverly Park Lane, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $22,000,000 (sale price)
SIZE: 17,831 square feet, 8 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This magnificent, new Italian villa is reminiscent of one of the most renowned European villas built in the 16th century. This unparalleled new residence has been execute din the grandeur of an old world manor. One of the most exciting properties from every aspect, uncompromising quality construction and one of the finest in craftsmanship have all come together to create a dream come true in residential living. Situation on over two level acres in the premier guard-gated enclave of Beverly park.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: After discussing the Bel Air house that Mister and Missus Grammer recently sold to Salma Hayek and her baby daddy Francois-Henri Pinault, we couldn't resist looking backward at some of the Grammers' former homes. So this morning we bring you the hotel-sized house they called home from January of 2004 to January of 2006.

According to property records the couple purchased the home for the spine tingling price of $17,500,000. A house this large and lavish requires a team of decorators and the Grammers more than likely spent an additional million clams to furnish the behemoth. Think about it hunnies, these people did not need one sofa, or even two sofas, like most people. No sirree bob, you can bet they needed 12 or 16 sofas, twice as many chairs and dozens of end tables.

Located in the uber exclusive and celebrity laden community of Beverly Park and sprawling across 17,581 square feet (19,040 according to the listing), the house was built in 2003 to resemble a 16th century European villa. Your Mama is quite sure there is nothing but the finest materials up in this house and we're quite sure that only top-notch, highly paid, and super skilled craftsman were used to lay the floors, cut the marble, and stack the stones.

Now children, Your Mama is no stranger to luxury and we know as many rich people as the next person, but none the less we have a hard time understanding how someone can feel comfortable surrounded by this sort of opulence. Not to mention feel comfortable surrounded by the vast number of people who must be on the property at all times just to keep the place functioning and looking pretty. There is the house manager, the house keeper, the butler, the cook, the driver, 2-4 maids, the laundress, the pool people, the landscapers, the fix it guy, the personal trainer and yoga guru, the assistants and the assistants to the assistants. It disturbs and depresses Your Mama to think of the payroll associated with this house. We can all be assured the monthly payout to staff is far more than most people earn in a year.

Because of the large assortment of staff on the property at all times, this is absolutely not the sort of house one comes home to late on a Wednesday afternoon to strip down by the pool, smoke a doobie and read Star Magazine. First the household staff will all whisper about it in the pantries and cleaning closets, and then they'll get in their Daiwoos and Kias and drive down the hill where they're going to tell all their family and friends how you like to sit nekkid by the pool smoking doobies.

So if anyone cares, and we know you don't, this sort of mega mansion is decidedly not how Your Mama would chose to live even if we did have the constantly rolling in residual checks that Mister Grammer has.

The house was listed at $25,000,000 and records reflect that the Grammers sold the place for an eye popping $22,000,000. Which means in just two years of ownership, they pocketed $4,500,000. Now how many times has Your mama told the children that one of the many ways rich folks get richer is buying and selling high end properties to other, even richer folks?

The ocean front house in Malibu that the Grammers purchased in 2001 is currently on the market for $13,450,000. Mister Big Time tells us the Grammers sold this house in 2004 for $8,500,000, but we are unable to verify that sale. In fact, a cursory look through the records we access indicates the Grammers may still own the house. But we defer to Mister Big Time's knowledge and expertise on the 2004 sale of this property.

As we mentioned in our discussion of the house the Grammers sold to Salma Hayek, Your Mama hears the Grammers will soon be moving to another Bel Air mansion that sits closer to Sunset Boulevard on Baroda Drive. We expect the maids will just finish getting the cashmere sweaters in the custom closets and the linens on the beds and the Grammers will call a staff meeting to let them all know they're moving again.

P.S. The house across the street is currently on the market for $34,000,000. Owned by the Coors family, who made much of the millions selling bad beer, the house has 17,826 square feet, and according to the listing, 9 bedrooms, 9 baths. Your Mama assumes there are elegantly designed and discreetly hidden beer taps in every room.

Sources: Big Time Listings, LA Times


Anonymous said...

It's funny - This property is pretty small compared to others in Beverly Park. The estates in the lower half are a lot bigger than the estates in the upper half - give or take a couple.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone move away from Beverly Park? Is there anywhere you can move to that is a step up from that? Maybe a large estate in Beverly Park... or... Aaron Spelling's house, if Candy would stop writing open letters (no one gives a shit about her opinion, she should shove it) and move!

Anonymous said...

I meant to say, a Larger Estate in Beverly Park.

Anonymous said...

"...this is absolutely not the sort of house one comes home to late on a Wednesday afternoon to strip down by the pool, smoke a doobie and read Star Magazine."

Mama, this is exactly why I wouldn't buy it, even if I had that kind of dough. Thanks for the imagery.

Anonymous said...

OMG Mama, you got me howling today.. hehe, love it.

As for the house, I generally love Italian architecture, so why don't I like the looks of this place??

Something about those arches just isn't right, for one thing. They look like gaping, wide open mouths.

Seeing an expensive place like this I wouldn't want for 1/10th of the price made my day, thankyou.

Anonymous said...

"Why would anyone move away from Beverly Park? Is there anywhere you can move to that is a step up from that?"

Beverly Park isn't all that - it's so ostentatious it comes across as sloightly tacky, all these FAKE spanish/italian villas, french palaces etc... also, location sucks big time, I'd rather live in Holmby Hills / Lower Bel Air / Malibu than B.H.P.O ...

Anonymous said...

Ya know, I'm sure there are those who would tell me I'm full of **it BUT I really don't believe I'd spend that kind of money on a place like that even if I had it. In fact...I'm sure I wouldn't.

Anonymous said...

it's not that much for l.a - millions of places twice the price.

Anonymous said...

Apparently the person who coined the expression "there's a sucker born every minute" was familiar with the L.A. real estate market.

Anonymous said...

They say money talks but in LA, it obviously screams.

You're a howl Mama. Thanks always for a good read.

Anonymous said...

That is an incredibly ugly McMansion. I wouldn't look at it for free, let alone buy it for $18 million or whatever. Maybe Haim Saban or someone will pay to knock it down.

Anonymous said...

The interior is quite nice, but the exterior I don't like at all. I suppose in a house like this, you only need to see the support staff if you choose to. I don't know whether that is good or bad.

Anonymous said...

Quote: "As for the house, I generally love Italian architecture, so why don't I like the looks of this place??"

Because it looks like Italianate architecture brought to you by Disney or Las Vegas or the new Times Square. No age or history is visible in the house at all.

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