Friday, May 31, 2013

Your Mama Hears...

...(via the New York Observer) that Kanye West wants 4.5 million bucks for his Big Apple bachelor pad, a 2,300-ish square foot two unit combination crib in SoHo that he had decked out in austere, haute-minimalist style by maverick Italian architect Claudio Silvestrin in 2007. Property records we picked at and perused reveal he paid a total of $3,140,000 in two separate transactions for the fourth floor apartments.*

Mister West's East Coast pied-a-terre apparently popped up on a New York City-centric real estate listing service but quickly disappeared in—you got it—a proverbial New York minute. A subsequent report in today's New York Post reveals that the 21-time Grammy winner's top producing real estate agent hosted an invite-only open house yesterday for some of the city's top brokers. There are—not surprisingly—"more than a dozen" pair of high-cost sneakers in the master closet and—more surprisingly—several small statues that one broker who toured the space described to The Post look like "an angel, or a little boy Cupid." Oh dear.

Other high profile residents of the full-service building include actor Julianna Margulies and model/t.v. presenter Padma Lakshmi who records show paid nearly eight million clams for her two-unit penthouse pad in early 2012.

Mister West also owns a contemporary, art-filled residence in the Hollywood Hills he's been trying to unload on and off since at least May, 2010 when it was briefly on the open market for $3,995,000. The multi-story hillside house is currently priced at $3,150,000.

Mister West reportedly also maintains an apartment in Paris near his fashion world b.f.f. Riccardo Tisci, the very same Givenchy creative director who just bought a West Village townhouse from high brow performance artist Marina Abramovic and with whom Mister West has been salaciously rumored to share something more than just Platonic. Whatever the case—and who cares, really?—the tabloids and celebrity gossip blogs went berserk this week with unconfirmed reports that the newly divorced Miz Kardashian has agreed to live in Paris with her baby daddy for at least three months after the birth of their bundle of joy. Hard to believe her mother/manager would allow that, but K.K. is a grown woman, and can do what she likes right? Anyways...

In February (2013), Mister West's soon-to-be baby momma Kim Kardashian shelled out $9,000,000 for a 9,000 square foot faux-Tuscan/mock-Med mish-mosh macmansion in the guard gated Bel Air Crest community in Los Angeles. Call us a cynic—and we've certainly been called worse—but Your Mama can't imagine Mister West, a man who fancies he has posh and cutting edge taste, actually living in such a downright ordinary macmansion any more than we imagine our mean ol' pussy cat Sugar speaks Cantonese. We shall see, butter beans, we shall see.

*Mister West bought the first and larger of the two apartments in December 2004 for $1,890,000 and the smaller adjacent unit in February 2006 for $1,250,000.

photos: Claudio Silvestrin

Steve Martin To Shed St. Barts Villa

SELLER: Steve Martin
LOCATION: Saint Barthélemy, French West Indies
PRICE: €8,750,000
SIZE: 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Late last night Your Mama received a covert communique from a friendly fella we'll call Bart St. Barts who thoughtfully forwarded a digital press release meant to get the word out about semi-retired and famously private comedic deity Steve Martin putting his mountain top vacation villa on the swish Caribbean island of Saint Barthélemy up for sale on the open market with a multi-millionaires only asking price of €8,750,000.*

Saint Barthélemy, the trendily chic and prolifically pricey crown jewel of the French West Indies, is typically more simply referred to by the international jet-setters and globe trotters who can afford to vacation there—as well as those of us who only wish we could afford to vacay there—as St. Barth or, for all us American English speakers, St. Barts.

Over the last ten or fifteen years the tiny island has become a winter time hot spot—especially over New Year's—for sun seeking celebs and demi-celebs such as Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, Rachel Zoe, Michael Kors, Andy Cohen—here he is a few years ago doing the beach thing with Daniel Craig, Demi Moore, Simon Cowell, and Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. In addition to the hordes of spendy Showbizzers and ridiculously rich media mavens like Martha Stewart, all manner of moguls, royals and potentates also congregate in great numbers on the French-controlled collectivity.

Frequently seen hobnobbing and cavorting around the ultra-exclusive island during the winter holidays are big time movers and shakers like tech tycoon Paul Allen, diversified businessman Ron Perelman, paper and media pasha Peter Brant and his aging gracefully supermodel wife Stephanie Seymour, art dealer Larry Gagosian, famed fashion photographer Patrick Demarchelier, and late night chat show honcho David Letterman. Last year, the children may recall, Russian gajillionaire and inveterate trophy property collector Roman Abramovich paid—so the stories go—about $90 million for a 70-ish acre, multi-pavilion beach side compound built on land once owned by rich and profoundly powerful banker David Rockefeller.

Your Mama doesn't know how much Mister Martin paid for his St. Bart's getaway that he picked up sometime in 2008 and was last listed for $9,000,000.** What we do know is that Mister Martin, a card-carrying Mensa member and an astute collector of name brand modern art who is surprisingly proficient at throwing a lasso as well as playing the harmonica and the banjo, recently became a father for the first time at the ripe old age of 67. That may seem, children, like a clunky segue and it very well may be nothing more than a real estate coinky dink but every celebrity real estate gossip knows that when people as famous and/or rich as Mister Martin have a baby, get married and/or get divorced they very often also shake up their real estate portfolios. Anyhoo...

Current listing details show Mister Martin's gated, tropical Colonial style villa occupies a private perch high in the hills of Lurin where its mountain top vantage provides postcard perfect, 180+ degree views over and beyond the sleepy, swank, and duty-free port city of Gustavia as well as across the yummy, sparkling blue waters of St. Jean Bay and directly down on busy Gustaff III Airport.***

The single-story house has four en suite bedrooms and a total of 4.5 bathrooms, according to listing information, in an unknown amount of air conditioned square footage. At the heart of the boomerang-shaped residence is a multi-winged, open plan living area with red tile flooring and airy, exposed beam vaulted ceilings. One end of the central living room opens through collapsing glass doors to a lush, wind protected interior courtyard while the other end has floor to ceiling windows that suck up the quintessential Caribbean views.

The living room is flanked by a casual "formal" dining room on one side and a media lounge with built-in entertainment cabinet and a couple of humble but comfortable-looking couches on the other. For a man who collects museum quality contemporary art, the photo-realist paintings (or whatever they are in the media lounge and throughout the house strike Your Mama as painfully and, well, pitifully banal. It's not that we think he ought to have hung one of his Diebenkorns of Fischls up in there but, holy moly that looks like some seriously cliche, low rent "art." Frankly, we'd rather stare at a blank wall but—let's get real, people—what does it matter since Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are neither in the market to buy nor lease a ten-plus million dollar villa in St. Barts?

The living and dining areas, as well as the angled, galley-type kitchen that the press release rather generously described as "state-of-the-art,"open to a deep veranda with panoramic views and a built-in barbecue station. The media lounge, on the other hand, links through to a smaller covered porch that online marketing materials suggest is punished with fitness equipment.

Online resources indicate the four bedroom suites are well separated for privacy. Two smaller suites occupy their own wing behind the media lounge. Both have exterior entrances, private bathrooms, private terraces, and—oo la ls—private outdoor showers. A larger, third guest suite, on the opposite side of the house behind the dining room and kitchen, also has an exterior entry, a private deck, and an attached bathroom with French doors that open to a fence-ringed deck with outdoor shower.

The master bedroom is contained in a separate building that all but butts up to the far end of the house beyond the largest of the three guest bedrooms. The suite is complete with an elevated bed area, a sunken sitting area, and an unexpectedly large walk-in closet/dressing room. The attached wood and stone themed bathroom has a wall of glass in the shower that opens to a secluded deck with outdoor shower. French doors in both the bedroom and the bathroom open to a large, wrap around deck with sunken spa and a view that's enough to make even the most jaded globe trotter pee their pants with vacation glee.

The shaded verandas off the main living area(s) give way to multi-level sunbathing and dining terraces that embrace a two-tier, infinity edge swimming pool. Steps at either end of the pool lead down to a curved deck cantilevered slightly over the hillside with dreamy views over all of St. Jean Bay. The interior courtyard provides a serene balance to dramatic views that consume the eyes on the other side of the house. A narrow, red tile lined water channel cuts across a flat lawn and connects a gurgling urn fountain just outside the living room to a a flourishing lily pond the wraps around three sides of a slightly elevated Balinese-y pavilion.

Mister Martin's private residential property portfolio includes at least three additional residence. Since at least 1995, the actually quite shy funny man has owned a 5.86 acre (two parcel) estate in Santa Barbara—on the east side of Montecito—with a very contemporary 7,300-plus square foot residence that's partially submerged in the knoll top on which is sits. In Los Angeles Mister Martin owns a pair adjacent mini-estates on a little known cul de sac nestled into a holler high above the trendy and hideously expensive Trousdale Estates 'hood in Beverly Hills. Property records show he purchased the first of the two Bev Hills properties, with its 7,005 square foot main house, in the early days of 1995 for $3,175,000 from actor Corbin Bernsen and his long-time actress wife Amanda Pays. He scooped up the neighboring property in October 1997 from a not-famous person for an unknown amount.

*Listing details show$11,328,327 (USD) but  quick consult with Your Mama's currency conversion contraption shows the current listing price of €8,750,000 equals $11,363,500, at today's rates.

**Not long after he purchased the property, Mister Martin offered it out for least at $28,000 per week. The press release indicates it can still be leased by the week but did not provide a price.

***Just for shits and giggles: In 2010 The History Channel ranked Gustaff III as the third most dangerous airport in the world behind Toncontín International in Honduras and Tenzing-Hillary Airport, a remote air strip in Lukla, Nepal where most mountaineers begin their hike up the Mount Everest Base Camp.

listing photos and floor plan: St. Barth Properties Sotheby's International Realty

Thursday, May 30, 2013

In Case You Missed It: Robert and Alex

All the children should know by now that Your Mama don't a damn thing about professional athletics but for those of y'all who do know and care about such things we sally forth with the following two quickie tidbits...

We first learned it from The Barefoot Financier but it was first noted by the Washington Business Journal that Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III has gone and spent $2,497,000 on a 9,000 square foot mansion in the prosperous Creighton Farms golf community in the rural Washington, D.C. exurb of Aldie, VA.

listing photo: MRIS via Washington Business Journal

According to TMZ, New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez has reportedly accepted an offer of about $30 million for the nearly 20,000 square foot ultra-contemporary mansion he custom built on a pair of Miami Beach (FL) parcels that combined come to about 1.1 acres with 275 feet of private bay frontage.

Your Mama parsed and picked at the nine bedroom and 11 full and two half bathroom behemoth back in August 2012 when A-Rod shoved it on the open market with a publicity ensuring $38,000,000 price tag.

listing photos: ONE Sotheby's International Realty

In Case You Missed It: Jessica Simpson

We're not sure who first reported it but Your Mama first read it on Zillow that pop tartlet turned reality t.v. star turned apparel mogul and Fashion Star judge Jessica Simpson heaved her Beverly Hills (Post Office), CA residence on the open market with an asking price of $7,995,000.

Miz Simpson, currently with baby number two in her belly, paid $5,275,000 for the five bedroom and 5.5 bathroom property in 2007. That was back in the tabloid-y aftermath of her split and divorce from her first husband, former—and current—boy bander Nick Lachey. She's now hooked up and procreating with but not yet married to former professional footballer Eric Johnson, a manly man who Your Mama can't fathom cared much for the hyper feminized—and arguably immasculating—day-core.

Current listing details show the "romantically emotional" 5,500 square foot residence was recently worked over—and hard—by Shabby Chic queen Rachel Ashwell. The formal living room adjoins the formal dining room and the expensively equipped center island kitchen opens up to a window wrapped breakfast area. There's also, according to listing information, a media/family room, an office/library, and fitness room.

The painstakingly and magnificently lit exterior living areas probably cost a fortune in electricity each much but, damn children, they sure look fantastically spectacular. Outdoor living spaces include a walled and gated entry courtyard with gurgling fountain, a foliage enshrouded stone dining terrace, and a stepping stone pathway that leads from the entertainment terrace off the kitchen and family room back to a lap lane swimming pool tucked tightly into dense, towering, privacy ensuring thicket of trees and shrubbery.

The long list of previous high profile owners of the home include actress Jami Gertz with financier husband Tony Ressler and Showbiz executive Tom Freston who now owns a larger house around the corner. The ever-peripatetic chat show queen Ellen Degeneres owned the property for a brief couple of years before she sold it to high powered celebrity manager Rick Yorn who, in turn, sold it after just two years to the then newly single Miz Simpson.

Current home owners in the guarded enclave include Cameron Diaz—who bought her house from Candice Bergen, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, Reggae royal Ziggy Marley and entertainment industry power player Guy Oseary.

Miz Simpson and Mister Johnson have decamped to the family friendly and equestrian oriented guard-gated community of Hidden Hills where they recently shelled out $11.5 million for Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne's nearly 11,000 square foot Martyn Lawrence Bullard decorated mansion on 2.25 mostly landscaped acres. Their new neighbors include famous folks like Jennifer Lopez, although we wouldn't expect much in the way of play dates and backyard barbecue invitations since—call it a hunch based on nothing but absolute conjecture—we imagine Miz Simpson and Lopez would not like each other very much.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

In Case You Missed It: Kat Von D

Five days ago the long legged blond gal at Trulia Luxe Living reported that Kat Von D, the heavily tattooed high priestess of tattoo and L.A. Ink reality t.v. star, pushed her 1920s Spanish style micro-compound in the celeb-filled Outpost Estates area of the Hollywood Hills on the open market with a $2.5 million asking price.

No surprise to Your Mama, the day-core skews Gothic, dark and brooding with lots of taxidermy in the formal living room and bends towards glammy with shimmery brocade wall paper in the den and formal dining room.

Miz Von D, who was twice affianced to Sandy Bullock's philandering ex-husband Jesse James and is currently engaged to internationally acclaimed DJ Deadmou5—who proposed to her on Twitter, dontcha know?—purchased the walled and gated 4,148 square foot residence in August 2011 for $2,175,000.

Current listing information shows the four bedroom and 4.5 bathroom main residence has hardwood floors, original tile detailing, a turreted entry and an expensively equipped kitchen. The formal living room quickly converts to a screening room with a retractable projection screen and high octane surround sound system. Listing details indicate there's a guest house somewhere on the property, probably atop the detached two car garage at the back of the property.

The backyard isn't big and, while it does have a spa, barbecue station and built-in fire pit, it does not have a swimming pool. It also, unfortunately backs up to a multi-story apartment building that—praize Jeezis—is all but hidden behind a towering row of thick and high hedges.

No word has (yet) reached Your Mama's inbox about the future real estate plans of the soon to be Missus Deadmau5.

listing photos: The Sher Group

In Case You Missed It: David, Darren, Megan, and Madonna

Famously hairy chested, and—ahem—decidedly cheese ball actor and singer David Hasselhoff recently sold his former family estate in Encino, CA, for $3,549,000 and, as was revealed by the celebrity gossip juggernaut TMZ, coughed up $1,950,000 to buy himself a big new mock-Med macmansion bachelor pad in a small, guard-gated enclave in the affluent L.A. suburb of Calabasas (CA).

Online resources show the 5,767 square foot residence—on and off the market since November 2006!—has five bedrooms and six bathrooms. The Baywatch babe's new abode also has a double-height foyer for impressing guests and Chinese food delivery men, a sunken formal living room with fireplace and double height ceiling, a formal dining room and an adjacent center island kitchen, a family room with wet bar, and a office/library loft that overlooks the formal living room.

The 1.54 acre grounds include numerous patios, a waterfall equipped swimming pool and spa, built-in barbecue center, lush semi-tropical landscaping, a grassy play yard and a huge concrete pad with basketball nets but no guide lines or whatever those linear markings on the basketball court are called.

listing photos: Coldwell Banker

Thanks to the New York Observer we learned that wildly successful television super-producer Darren Star (Sex and the City, Melrose Place, Beverly Hills, 90210 and the reprise 90210) sold his swank New York City pied-à-terre at the glitzy Trump International Hotel and Tower on Columbus Circle for $13 million to the family of shopping mall magnate Frank Lowy, otherwise known as second richest man in Australia.

Mister Star acquired the 35th floor spread in 2005 for $6.1 million so the thirteen million clam sale price represents an enviable and elephantine return on his real estate investment.

Listing details show the L-shaped, 3,059 square foot corner apartment has three bedrooms and 4.5 marble bathrooms, including a master suite with two bathrooms and private study/sitting room. The living/dining space stretches almost forty feet with a built-in wet bar in the dining area and there's a stacked washer/dryer in the corridor that connects the living room and the compact but generously windowed eat-in kitchen.

Mister Star owns (at least) one very luxurious residence in Los Angeles, a 6,808 square foot residence on a prime street in Bel Air that he bought in November 2005 for $6,850,000, filled with a small museum's worth of name brand contemporary artworks and had photographed for the March 2012 issue of Architectural Digest.

listing photo and floor plan: Brown Harris Stevens

The long-legged blond at Trulia Luxe Living reported this week that sitcom superstars Megan Mullally (Will & Grace) and Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation) finally sold their published, city view house in L.A.'s Bird Streets 'hood—where are the streets are named after birds, natch. They hoisted the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom residence on the open market in September 2011 for $12,650,000 and last week at a steep discount for $9,970,000 million.

Back in December 2011 the modern-minded couple bought a glassy contemporary in Bel Air for $4,150,000.

listing photos: Keller Williams Beverly Hills

We first heard it from the ever industrious kids at Curbed that Her Pop Music Majesty Madonna has done sold her 6 bedroom and 8 bathroom duplex digs at Harperley Hall on New York City's Upper West Side. Not surprisingly, the deep pocketed buyer, identified as Deepak Narula, is a prodigiously rich hedge fund fat cat.

The still fit as a fiddle and strikingly well preserved mid-50s Material Girl first listed her approximately 6,000 square foot multi-unit combination spread in November 2012 with a $23,500,000 asking price. So the celebrity real estate scuttlebutt goes Mister Hedge Fund paid quite a bit less than the last and final $19,995,000 price tag.

The sprawling apartment was decorated with Art Deco zing style by her dilettantish brother Christopher—now a shoe designer—and was photographed in 2007 in all its art-filled glory for Architectural Digest.
The celebrity real estate leprechauns haven't been so kind to Madge on the West Coast where she hasn't had much luck yet unloading her Beverly Hills estate either off market—with a rumored $28 million asking price—or on the open market where it's currently listed at $22.5 million.

Madonna continues to own a horse farm in the Hamptons—bought from Calvin's ex-wife Kelly Klein in late 2009—and the near mythic Upper East Side triple-wide townhouse with private garage she bought in 2009 for $32,000,000 and spent heaven only knows how much on extensive renovations that included penthouse level expansion and the addition of roof deck.

listing photos: The Modlin Group

In Case You Missed It: Adriana Lima

According to the celebrity gossip peeps at Celebuzz, Brazilian bra and pantie supermodel Adriana Lima listed her Midtown Manhattan condo crib for $5.5 million. Property records show the smoldering brunette picked up the 2,200 square foot apartment at the full service Metropolitan Tower in late 2003 for $1,995,000.

Listing details show the 42nd floor spread has two bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms plus floor to ceiling windows that provide a through-the-buildings northern view of Central Park. The well-equipped condo, which has month common charges and taxes that rack up to $5,404, also has a handy-dandy home automation system that conveniently controls the lighting, audio visual equipment, temperature settings, and electronic window shades at the mere touch of a button.

Miz Lima and her Serbian professional basketball player husband, Marko Jarić, and their two young children live primarily in Miami, FL where in January 2010 they shelled out exactly $9,000,000 for a nearly 7,500 square foot fixer-upper bay front mansion on the gated and heavily guarded Indian Creek Island enclave. Some of their high profile neighbors on Indian Creek Island include multi-billionaire businessman Carl Icahn, Latin crooner Julio Inglesias, steel magnate Leroy Schecter, hedge fund honcho Eddie Lampert, and Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula.

listing photos and floor plan: The Modlin Group

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Ross Mathews Unloads L.A. Starter House

SELLER: Ross Mathews
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $676,500
SIZE: 1,034 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to a friendly missive from little birdie we'll call Ron Aroundsue Your Mama learned that hilariously high camp television personality Ross Mathews and his long time man-friend, stylist Salvador Camarena, along with their pooches Louise and Mijo, have moved to a glassy, canyon view house in Los Angeles, CA, a notable event both men have recently blogged and/or Tweeted about.

Since Your Mama's invitation to the house warming party must have gotten lost in the damn mail—uhm...yes, Hello, Ross—we can't reveal any details about the out and proud couple's new digs except that it appears in video to be substantially more spacious and much more contemporary than the itty-bitty 1940s bungalow in L.A.'s Atwater Village 'hood that Mister Ross sold in early May (2013) for $676,500.

Mister Mathews, an inveterate and intensely focused pop culture maven of the highest magnitude, started up his ladder of Showbiz fame and fortune in the early Aughts as a lowly intern on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. His effervescent personality, girlishly high-pitched voice, and brutally self-deprecating sense of humor got Mister Ross noticed by the powers that be who, after a fun-filled last minute fill-in guest spot on the show, hired him on as "Ross The Intern." As "Ross The Intern" Mister Ross honed his schtick as a fun-loving and infectiously fruity correspondent who giddily covered movie premieres, awards shows and other such important Tinseltown trivialities.*

Since his intern days Mister Ross, now in his early 30s, has become a bit of a cable television staple. He lost 40 pounds on Celebrity Fit Club in 2007, was a correspondent for the celebrity gossip program The Insider, and hosted the GSN game show Big Saturday Night. He occasionally appears on the long-running Days of Our Lives soap story, he frequently fawns over celebrities on red carpet events for E!, and he pops up just about every week on sassy pants comedian and entertainment industry mogul Chelsea Handler's eponymous late night pop culture gab fest.

Mister Ross recently published what Your Mama imagines will be the first of several memoir driven tomes, Man Up! Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence. This fall Mister Mathews will host Hello Ross, his very own interactive late night television chat show that aims to laud and applaud celebrity-driven pop culture rather than tear it down with snarky remarks about failed fashion choices, arrogant douche-baggery and—ahem—poor day-core.

Property records show Mister Mathews picked up his petite pad in Atwater Village—an increasingly hip and hipster inhabited area sandwiched between Los Feliz and Glendale—in January 2010 for $530,000. A few quick calculations on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus tells us that Mister Mathews turned a $146,500 profit, not counting almost 3.5 years of carrying costs, updates and upgrades, real estate fees and—as per listing information—professional decorating by liptastic nice-gay decorator/persnickety house flipping Bravolebrity Jeff Lewis.

The wee, single-story bungalow has two bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms in just 1,034 square feet, according to online marketing materials we managed to ferret up out of the interweb. A tiny front porch with a tomato red front door opens to a small foyer—a minuscule vestibule, really—that sits between a reasonably roomy living room and an eat-in kitchen.

There are hardwood floors in the living room (and the bedrooms) and red clay tiles with decorotive insets in the kitchen that set off the white Shaker style cabinets and cream colored tile counter tops with Fiestaware-ish back splash. Upgraded stainless steel appliances include a commercial-style four-burner range and a side-by-side fridge/freezer flanked by a small built-in housekeeping desk and an open laundry/pantry that connects through to the outdoor living spaces. We loathe how the cabinets stop just shy of the ceiling but at least Misters Ross and Camarena had the good sense not to stuff that slim space with wicker baskets and faux-greenery.

The compact master bedroom has one small closet and two access points to the backyard through what appear to be original 1940s wood and glass doors. We can live with a ceiling fan. They have a southern California practicality that we understand. But we really wish the Misters Ross and Camarena replaced it with something less dainty. Is that fan really Jeff Lewis approved? Anyhoo, the door to the smaller second bedroom appears to have been used by the misters of the house as an office/creative space and indeed has a glass panel on which appears the words "ART STUDIO" have been stenciled.

A detached two car garage at the rear of the property was transformed a year or two ago by Jeff Lewis on his eponymous spin off reality show Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis into a fully finished den/guest room with a concrete floors, crown molding, a moody palette of grays of browns, and a pair of mirror doored storage closets. Two sets of French doors open to the driveway cum dining terrace. Gray horizontal strip fencing and high hedges ring a verdant and separate but adjoining area of the backyard where there's a thick carpet of well-watered grass and an above-ground spa just outside the master bedroom beneath a vine-laden trellis.

Property records reveal Mister Mathews still owns a 1,130 square foot condominium in Pasadena (CA) that he scooped up in May 2006 for $430,000 and last July (2012) Mister Mathews paid $223,000 for a 1,233 square foot house with two bedrooms, one bathroom and a kidney-shaped swimming pool on a tight corner lot on a fairly busy street in Palm Springs (CA).

NOTE (Later same day): Thanks to the always in the know Lucy Spillerguts Your Mama learned that Mister Mathews and Mister Camanero decamped Atwater Village to the rugged hills of Glendale (CA) where they moved into a 1970s contemporary perched privately on a steep slope at the tail end of a long, serpentine, and semi-private driveway. Listing details Your Mama dug up show the renovated residence sits on more than three quarters of an acre with three bedrooms and three bathrooms in nearly 3,800 square feet spread over three floors. Other amenities include: an open concept main living/dining/kitchen that opens to a wrap around deck that cantilevers over the hill side with long canyon views; an attached two car garage with direct entry; a penthouse level master suite with adjacent office; and a lower level game room with built-in bar and wine cellar. The property was last listed at just under $1.1 million.

*Mister Ross also, among numerous other tasks assigned while in the employ of Mister Leno, trained for an worked on a NASCAR pit crew, sent in reports from the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, toured the Burbank fire station, and attended at least one Spring Break celebration on Texas's South Padre Island.

listing photos: Keller Williams

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bruce Willis Lists Beverly Hills Estate

SELLER: Bruce Willis (and Emma Heming)
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $22,000,000
SIZE: 10,379 square feet, 11 bedrooms, 11 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Middle aged—and still procreating—action flick actor Bruce Willis is in the mood to shuffle his extensive residential real estate holdings in both the Big Apple and the City of Angels.

In New York City the smooth pated and famously smirky Die Hard franchise superstar owns a five bedroom and four bathroom condo crib at the full service Trump Place complex on the west side of Lincoln Center that was listed on the open market in February (2013) for $11,650,000 and is currently in contract with an unknown buyer for an unknown price. In mid-March Mister Willis and his considerably younger second missus, Emma Heming, shelled out, according to property records, $8,850,000 for U2 Bassist Adam Clayton's stunning three bedroom and four bathroom park-facing cooperative apartment at the distinguished Eldorado building on Central Park West.*

Back on the Left Coast, much to this jaded celebrity property gossip's mild surprise, Mister and Missus Willis Number Two have hoisted their large but hardly behemoth Beverly Hills, CA mansion on the open market with a beastly $22,000,000 price tag.

Property records show Mister Willis acquired the property in June 2004 for exactly nine million dead presidents from movie industry bigwig Alan Ladd, Junior.

Current listing information shows the 1928 Spanish style residence sits tightly on a shy acre parcel in a prime section of lower Beverly Hills—it is, after all, less than half a mile to the posh and plummy Beverly Hills Hotel—and has 11 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms in 10,379 square feet of fully renovated, updated and upgraded interior space. The Los Angeles County Tax Man's public records show the 2012 property taxes rang up to a stomach upsetting $114,838.

Listing details are—as of this minute—painfully slim but listing photographs show an airy double-height entry that connects through to a roomy formal living room with wood floors, wood burning fireplace, and exposed wood beam ceiling. There's an unnecessarily large enclosed loggia and the formal dining room broods with wine colored walls above medium brown wood wainscoting, a barrel vaulted ceiling covered in some sort of repetitive pattern texture that could be tin or carved wood or wall paper or any number of other materials. Wide banks of glass doors in both the living and dining rooms open to a central courtyard decked out with little more than a few plants, a couple chairs and a rugged stone fountain.

The spacious kitchen has a long center island with snack counter, Old School honey bee tile flooring, and, behind the top quality commercial style range, a tiled back splash where a green tiled rectangle has the words "Spring Street" spelled out in reversed out white tiles, an homage to the New York City subway system that doesn't make sense to Your Mama in a Beverly Hills kitchen.

Although it appears to Your Mama that most of the public rooms orient themselves to the interior courtyard—in some cases the quickest route from one part of the house to another—the angled back of the house opens through a couple of arched glass doors to back yard. Looking past the nagging notion that the rear facade lacks any convincing architectural authenticity, the backyard includes a small patch of grass and a large deck that encircles a long rectangular swimming pool.

At the butt end of the irregularly shaped lot there's a lighted tennis court that backs up to a service alley that runs behind a handful of other similarly sized mini-estates and mansions. Some of the nearby estates and homses are owned by L.A. luminaries like mega-resort building multi-billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, the inestimable coochie-cooer Charo, Peter Falk's widow Shera, and 3-D technology tycoon Joshua Greer who, in 2011, paid fellow tech tycoon turned big-time philanthropist David Bohnett $23 million for a nearly 10,000 square foot white brick Georgian on a double lot.

Mister Willis's real estate portfolio runs deep and the Hollywood staple won't be without a Tinseltown bedsit once he sells his big Bev Hills residence. He also owns a 2,900 square foot ranch style residence off Mulholland Drive in the 90210 but it's not known—at least to Your Mama—if Mister and second Missus Willis intend to occupy the property.

*Mister Willis's propert portfolio currently also includes (but may not be limited to) a number of residential and commercial holdings in and around itty-bitty Hailey, ID.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

Go-Go's Guitarist Jane Wiedlin Lists L.A. Loft

SELLER: Jane Wiedlin
LOCATION: Los Angeles
PRICE: $596,000
SIZE: 1,280 square feet, 1-2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Go-Go's guitarist Jane Wiedlin was squarely on the pioneering real estate vanguard when, in 2007, she sold her historic Streamline Moderne residence in the heart of L.A.'s hipster-choked Silver Lake community and decamped to a sun-flooded loft condo in an even hipper, industrial, and still somewhat gritty if not exactly seedy section of downtown Los Angeles known as Little Tokyo.

Although not exactly wildly popular, living in downtown L.A. is trés chic and even trendy amongst arty-farty Angelinos in search of a more urban, pedestrian friendly existence than is customarily available in the sprawling, auto-oriented mega-city that—let's be honest, butter beans—functions more like an interconnected amalgamation of suburbs than a proper city. Simmer down, children, we ain't hatin'. Just like Randy Newman, we love L.A. But, you know, it is what it is. Anyways...

Miz Wiedlin is, of course, best known as the perky, pixie haired and squeaky-voiced rhythm guitarist for the iconic late-70s and early 80s all-women pop-punk band The Go-Go's. It was she, in fact, who co-wrote the hard charging yet infectiously bubbly music for the band's hit song Our Lips Are Sealed. Miz Wiedlin left the group in 1984 to pursue a (less successful) solo career but occasionally re-groups, records and tours with her Go-Go's gal pals. Indeed, the Go-Go's sold out the Hollywood Bowl last summer (2012), thirty years after the first time they sold out the legendary L.A. venue.*

In addition to whatever personal musical pursuits Miz Wiedlin still pursues she's also a tireless advocate for animal rights, dabbled in acting, and co-created the Lady Robotika comic book. Some years ago she became an ordained, mail-order minister who offers her marriage and commitment ceremony services as Reverend Sister Go-Go for between $1,500 and $4,000 (plus travel, accommodation and food expenses), depending on the package.

Property records and other online resources show Miz Wiedlin purchased her approximately 1,280 square foot loft at the Little Tokyo Lofts building as a bare shell in March 2007 for $695,000. In 2010 the diminutive rocker—who looks almost disturbingly like Joyce DeWitt from the 1970s and '80s sitcom Three's Company—had the top floor loft listed for lease with an asking price of $4,250. It's now listed for lease at a much lower $2,350 per month. It's also for sale with—as of today—a $596,000 price tag. Miz Wiedlin pushed her downtown digs on the sales market in late-April (2013) with an asking price of $850,000. Since then, the price tag has repeatedly been slivered—a dozen times as of this morning—to its current $596,000. By Your Mama's quick and rudimentary calculations, even if Miz Wiedlin manages to secure of a full price buyer at today's asking price of $596,000, she's still faced with a $99,000 financial gut punch, not counting carrying costs, customization, and real estate fees.

Current listing information shows the "Rockstar-owned penthouse loft" has "million-dollar views," two deeded parking spaces, "fantastical original decor"—which is putting it mildly, and $459 monthly home owner's association fees. Current listing details also show the sixth floor corner unit has magnificent steel casement warehouse windows, yellow blond maple hardwood floors, coveted 12-foot ceilings, and at least one exposed structural column around which Miz Wieldin had a Saturn-inspired steel bar and shelving system installed where she stores and displays her collection of burlesque oriented bar ware.

The loft's front door opens into a multi-functional foyer/dining/kitchen space where Miz Wiedlin's decidedly peculiar but refreshingly personal decorative style immediately smacks a person across the face with its remarkable, well, weirdness. Those children with less fantastical and more traditional taste might categorize the day-core as Unrestrained Hot Mess but in a low- to no-budget marketing video that popped up on the YouTube in late 2009 Miz Wiedlin describes her decorative phantasmagoria, a kooky and deeply personal blend of "Asian, mid-century and Future-y stuff,"  as "Bladerunner-esque." Frankly, as nuttily done as Miz Wiedlin's loft may be—and it is unquestionably wacky, Your Mama would most certainly rather look at this odd and deeply personal decorative extravaganza than look at another one of those awful, cookie cutter Bacchanalia of beige that's way too often lauded as tasteful.

At least one wall in the combo foyer/dining area is papered with vintage 1970s Mylar that's been seamed and riveted to look like the side of a space ship, she proudly declares in the marketing video. At least one more wall has cinematically pedigreed, vintage orange and silver abstract pattern wall paper that was used in the cult-classic film Barbarella. Miz Wiedlin says in the video that the film's the late movie producer Dino De Laurentiis retained several rolls of the stuff that she bought on Ebay. not wallpaper people but, kitty cats, of all the kooky stuff Miz Wiedlin's got stuffed  like sardines up in that loft, this wallpaper is a goddamn treasure. The compact but perfectly serviceable open concept kitchen area has black granite counter tops, a butcher block topped work island, rental-grade stainless steel appliances and maple cabinetry painted a lustrous Chinese lacquer red.

The dining foyer and kitchen space opens up into a roomy corner living room where Miz Wiedlin tiled the front of the (gas) fireplace with ebony river stones and sparkly grout. An open back entertainment unit strikes a cacophonous pose in front of graphic black and white vintage wall paper. Godawful vertical blinds, the very kind penny-pinching landlords install in rental apartments both far and wide, twist and pull back to reveal giant, multi-pane warehouse windows filled with urban city and skyscraper views.

Custom made sliding shoji screens divide the living room from an unexpectedly spacious, bedroom-sized dressing room lined with hardware-free flat-front closets and a built-in storage bench along the window wall. Miz Wiedlin helpfully suggests in the marketing video that the enclosed dressing room, with its magnificently kitchen lighting sconces—multi-colored bunches of glass grapes dangling from the sharp teeth of a dragon—can do double duty as a guest bedroom.

A bent steel floating staircase, designed and fabricated by the set designer for the Indiana Jones movies, ascends to a loft bedroom with a very low ceiling and, at night, a glittering, laying down view of the surrounding city lights. Miz Wiedlin furnished the head-banging bedroom with a custom studded leather headboard and vintage 70s sci-fi themed wall paper on which 60s-era space ships battle on a shimmery silver background. Sorry Miz Wiedlin, Your Mama lives for you but that bizarre, undulating row of bamboo makes for an ass-ugly and piss-poor safety railing.

The decorative bravery—or treachery, depending on one's point of view—reaches its full, blunt force in the loft's lone, double-sized bathroom that's equipped with a stacked laundry and multi-functional shower pod that Miz Wiedlin describes as "the bomb" and "a party in itself." The steam-equipped contraption has multiple shower heads, a jetted tub, a radio, a foot massager and—because every shower needs it—disco lighting. Miz Wiedlin goes on to describe the wacky, self-designed sink and vanity situation as a combination between "a pyramid and an octopus from a different planet." The walls are custom-tiled with what the sci-fi fan calls "an alien cityscape" and overhead there's a lumpy silver ceiling treatment meant to give the room the vibe of an "alien cave or cloud." This is not a bathroom for those who love neutral finishes and travertine tile but it is most certainly an eccentrically customized crapper in which one will never forget shaving their legs, brushing their chompers or doing their dirty bizness.

The Little Tokyo Lofts complex, originally built in 1922 as an industrial structure, offers its urban setting preferring residents a quiet interior garden courtyard, an outdoor swimming pool and spa, and a long and narrow dog run with faux-grass. There's also a small fitness room, 24-hour security with video surveillance, and gated garage parking connected by a private pedestrian catwalk over the swimming pool terrace.

Your Mama seriously and sincerely wishes Miz Wiedlin all the luck in the world unloading her highly customized digs in downtown L.A. However, our brief and unscientific research suggests the lovably goofy and kinda nerdy Miz Wiedlin may have have a difficult time unloading her downtown loft even with its substantially discounted asking price. Although it is still hipper than shit for artists, bohemians and others to live downtown, the 2007-08 real estate bubble burst had a tremendously negative impact on L.A.'s then burgeoning downtown condo and loft market. Once upon a time the lofty apartments at the Little Tokyo Lofts traded for $300-700,000 but, alas, sale prices plummeted and, for the most part, remain a fraction of their peak. A 710 square foot studio style loft that sold in 2007 for $376,000 sold in February (2013) for just $225,000. A higher floor studio style loft that went for $408,000 in September 2007 traded hands in mid-March 9 (2013) for a mere $160,000. And, most troubling of all for Miz Wiedlin might be a lower floor loft of similar size to her own that sold in early 2007 for $647,000 but traded hands in late February (2013) for a measly $218,500.

Miz Wiedlin has previously owned a couple of homes in Los Angele. In 2004 she sold a hill climbing mini- estate tucked up into an out of the way area of the mountains above Burbank for $1,200,000. She later and briefly owned the Skinner House, a delicious, William Kesling-designed Streamline Moderne in the heart of the Silver Lake that she bought in June 2005 for $1,135,000 and sold in late 2007 for $1,495,000 to Atlanta-based decorator William "Bill" Stewart.

Property records show Miz Wiedlin also briefly co-owned a Beaver Cleaver-ish residence in the Madison, WI neighborhood of Maple Bluff that she picked up in December 2007 for $322,000 and sold two years later for $355,000. She moved to Wisconsin, where she was born and lived until she was six, because she fell—ahem—Head Over Heels for then Madison-based musician Travis Kasperbauer.

As far as we know—and we really know so very little—Miz Wiedlin and Mister Kasperbauer—and their canine menagerie—currently live in an area of San Francisco's Castro District that our S.F.-centric b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau tittered to Your Mama is often referred to by local queens as The Swish Alps. Property records and other digital resources show the couple share a two family house with an attached but separate recording studio that was acquired in late 2009 for $1,207,000. Last year the couple spent $300,000 to acquire a small cabin on 10+ fairly remote acres in the mountains near Anchor Bay (CA), in Mendocino County.

*We just can't get enough how 50-something year old Miz Wiedlin proudly wore a knee brace for the Hollywood Bowl concert. Useless fun fact: Much to the screaming delight of many, The West Hollywood Water Skiing Team, comprised of a leggy sextet of some of L.A.'s most illustrious drag queens including Willem Belli and Detox of RuPauls Drag Race semi-fame, donned leotards and tutus and danced back up on Vacation.

listing photos: Keller Williams Pasadena Market

Friday, May 24, 2013

Did Meryl Streep Snatch Up a Sunset Strip Pied A Terre?

BUYER: Meryl Streep and Don Gummer
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $4,500,000
SIZE: 3,700 square feet,

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While Your Mama has it on good authority—that would be the dishy, well-connected Yolanda Yakketyyak—that it's actually Henry Gummer—that would be Meryl Streep's singer/songwriter son—who currently occupies the premises, property records show a clean-lined contemporary crib just a few blocks off the Sunset Strip was quietly acquired in early February (2013) for exactly $4.5 million through the very same trust associated with both the New York City penthouse condo and the Connecticut country spread owned by Miz Streep and her sculptor husband Don Gummer.

So, puppies, was it the younger Mister Gummer—also known as Henry Wolfe—or was it Mama and Daddy Gummer—that would be Miz Streep and the older Mister Gummer—would paid for the posh, organically modern pad with it's front-loaded swimming pool? Well, it probably doesn't really matter that much and it certainly isn't any of our silly beeswax so, for the sake of acknowledging the not known, let's just say it was likely acquired by the Gummer family for use by one or more member of the Gummer family. Okay?

Listing details and other digitized resources Your Mama managed to scrounge up show the multi-level wood, concrete and glass residence strikes a distinct and private, bunker-ish vibe from the street. There's about 3,700 square feet of airy interior space intimately connected to various outdoor living spaces through wide expanses of wall-to-wall windows and floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors. There are four bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, according to listing details.

Heavily striated marble tile floors run throughout the interconnected, open concept main living spaces that include a secured access foyer anchored and elevated by a muscular, open tread staircase crafted from solid walnut.

A formal dining area hides from the foyer behind a floating wall (with magnificent flush floor boards) and adjoins a large living room divided into two separate but equal spaces. To one side, a t.v. watching lounge has direct access to the swimming pool and, on the other, a slightly more buttoned up conversation lounge with a monolithic textured stone fireplace, a dramatic double height ceiling, and an even more dramatic two-story wall of glass that looks out onto a small, courtyard type garden with boxy, concrete and stone water feature.

The dining area and the entrance hall connect through to a combination kitchen, informal dining area, and family room. The sleek, center island kitchen has flat-fronted cabinets crafted of some sort of linear-grained wood that may or may not be walnut, minimalist hardware, and chunky slab stone or solid surface counter tops. Top quality Euro-style appliances include double wall ovens, a pair of integrated side by side fridge/freezers, and a full-height wine fridge. A banister-free half flight of steps in the family room climbs up to an office perched above the garage with an entire wall of floor-to-ceiling glass that looks over the swimming pool and beyond.

At least one of the three guest/family bedrooms opens through a wide glass slider to a small private deck and the master suite has a long wall of glass that overlooks the double-height sitting area below.   Over sized windows on two other walls provide a through-the-tree-tops city and horizon views.

Although there are a couple of wee outdoor areas located around the house but the bulk of outdoor living spaces is accommodated in an elevated, gated and high-walled front yard that listing photos show has lush and well-lit landscaping, a plunge-sized swimming pool and spa and plenty of sunbathing space on the stone tile terrace. At the opposite end of the yard from the house a palm-tree ringed patio has a fire pit encircled by clean-lined, low-profile and probably very expensive sofas.

Other notable amenities and luxuries include a specially ventilated direct entry two-car garage and extensive security and home automation systems that can be remotely controlled from a computer or smart phone.

Property records and previous reports reveal the magnificent Miz Streep—no one does faux humility more genuinely than Miz Streep—and Mister Gummer paid $10,131,587 in early 2006 for a 6,174 square foot penthouse at the River Lofts complex in lower Manhattan, the same full-service building where the loved and loathed Gwyneth Paltrow also owns a substantial pied-a-terre she had done up in marble and pastels by the people at Roman and Williams. Since at least the mid-1980s Mister and Missus Gummer have owned an 89-plus acre multi-residence compound in Connecticut's historic and scenic Litchfield County that encompasses a small lake—or maybe it's a large pond—in its entirety.

listing photos: John Aaroe Group via Angelino Living

Al Pacino Sells Palisades Guest House

SELLER Al Pacino
BUYER: Curt and Sabelle Frasca
LOCATION: Palisades, NY
PRICE: $3,300,000
SIZE: 4,340 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to The ever-busy Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial it's come to Your Mama's attention that legendary Showbiz veteran Al Pacino has quietly sold off a significant portion of his Hudson River view compound in Palisades, NY, the prosperous, postage stamp-sized enclave also and formerly known as the Snedens Landing. The existing residence on the multi-acre spread functioned as the guesthouse to Mister Pacino's primary residence next door. More on that in a minute.

Although Mister Pacino first listed his guesthouse property in April 2012 with a $4,499,000 asking price, records show the bluff-top property was sold in mid-March 2013 for $3,300,000 to successful songwriters and music producers Curt and Sabelle Frasca. Missus Frasca, whose father is the venerable avant garde artist Robert Breer, has worked with folks like Madonna, Avril Lavigne and Ryan Cabrera. Mister Frasca's clientele is a virtual who's who of music industry: Shep Pettibone, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Michael and Janet Jackson, Aretha Franklin, Patti Labelle, Cyndi Lauper, the Spice Girls, Prince, Moby and k.d. lang. The couple currently own and operate Verse Music Group.

Mister Al Pacino is, well, he's goddamn Al Pacino, a famously intense, virile and still working actor of international acclaim with one Oscar statuette under his septuagenarian belt for the magnificent film Scent of a Woman plus seven more nominations (Glengarry Glen Ross, Dick Tracy, ...And Justice for All, Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, The Godfather, and The Godfather: Part II). In addition to his silver screen accolades the method actor has also received a couple of Tony Awards (Does a Tiger Wear a Necktie? and The Basic Training of Pavlo Hummel) and in 1996 he wrote, produced, directed and starred in the well-received Shakespeare-oriented documentary Looking for Richard.

Listing details Your Mama dug up out of the depth of the internets show the property sprawls "over 3 magnificent private acres." However and vexingly the same listing also puts the lot size at 108,900, an amount that's equal to exactly 2.5 acres. Make of that discrepancy what you will. However large the property it formed the bulk of Mister Pacino's Palisades roughly 3.5 acre compound and in addition to a soccer pitch-sized lawn, a large gravel motor court and a couple of outbuildings of undetermined function, the river view property has a 4,340 square foot clapboard-sided house with three bedrooms and three bathrooms. We learned this morning from our occasional aide de camp B.S. Beaverman that way back in 2002 an accidental fire broke out in one of the upstairs bedrooms that resulted in "heavy smoke and water damage to the second floor of the guesthouse." We love the bit about how Mister Pacino's publicist and the fire chief both declined to identify the guests. Anyways...

The residence was originally built in 1941, according to listing details, and sits at the top of steep slope that tumbles down to the shore of the mighty Hudson River. As best as we can tell from a quick study of the plat map, the property does not have any direct frontage on the river.

A tightly curved stairway in the residence's upper level foyer descends to the main living and entertaining spaces on the lower level. The rustic, wide plank wood floors in the spacious dining room continue into but change direction in the voluminous adjoining sunken living room that's warmed by a fireplace and light flooded through over-sized windows and French doors on three sides.

Listing photographs don't show the kitchen but it's described in listing details as "immaculate" with an eat-in capability and "modern conveniences." The master suite, also not depicted in listing photos, "sparkles with sunlight from beautiful picture windows." One or more of the upper level bedrooms—one hopes it's the master, right?—opens to a perfectly charming veranda that hangs over the lower level terrace off the living room and provides a bird's nest vantage for viewing the river.

As it turns out, this is second time Mister Pacino has sold a house in Palisades in the last few years. In November 2010 he dumped a much more modest but still fully fenced and electronically gated 1,578 square foot house with three bedrooms and 1.5 bathroom for $580,000.

Teeny-tiny Snedens Landing/Palisades is or has been home to a slew of high-profile Tinseltown types. Emmy-nominated actor Aiden Quinn owns one of the more modest homes in Palisades and Oscar-nominated actor Bill Murray owns a sprawling 15,000+ square foot river view mansion with a dozen bathrooms on more than 8 acres. Oscar, Golden Globe and Emmy nominated actress Lorraine Bracco sold her riverfront residence in August 2009 for $2.7 million to Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio and delightfully quirky Icelandic singer Björk sold her Palisdes pad in early 2010 for $1,325,000.

In September 2011, ballet icon Mikhail Baryshnikov sold two the four parcels that comprised his Palisades compound for $3,485,000 to a New York City-based hedge fund fat cat. Property records show Mister B. still owns just over two acres of the original compound where there's a two bedroom and two bathroom cottage that he had up for lease back in 2009 for $4,500 per month. Mister B. and his ballerina wife, Lisa Rinehart, own another property in Palisades formerly owned by Oscar winning actor William Hurt.

Some of Mister Pacino and now Mister and Missus Frasca's nearest neighbors include distinguished journalist Joan Konner and and sick-rich and low-profile Mellon family heiress Andrea Currier whose fabulously wealthy parents vanished into thin air in 1967 while en route via a small chartered airplane from San Juan, Puerto Rico to St. Thomas on the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Peri Gilpin Says Bye-Bye to the Bu

SELLERS: Peri Gilpin and Christian Vincent
PRICE: $4,700,000
SIZE: 1,783 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Not quite three years ago television actress Peri Gilpin and her fine art painter husband Christian Vincent paid $3,550,000 for Shabby Chic queen Rachel Ashwell's single-story cottage inside the guarded gates of the illustrious Colony enclave in Malibu. Yesterday the Gilpin-Vincents hoisted the still Shabby Chic Colony crib back on the market for $4.7 million.

Current listing details show the low-slung 1,783 square foot main house—it isn't on the ocean but rather backs up to billionaire Jerry Perenchio's private golf course—has three bedrooms and three bathrooms plus a separate guest house with another (narrow) bedroom and puny private bathroom that looks to Your Mama to be a little long in the tooth, if you know what we mean.

A turquoise entry gate just to the side of the detached two car garage opens into a verdant courtyard where a red brick path cuts a graphic line up the middle to the chandelier lit front porch. There are two main living areas that both join through to the backyard. The front door all but opens directly into a white-tiled "formal" living/dining room where a fireplace is surmounted by a large, inset flat screen television and surrounded by book filled built-in bookcases.

A panel hung on a barn door track in the dining area slides open to the second main living space, a combination kitchen and family room. A quick comparison of current listing photos and those from the time Miz Gilpin acquired the property indicate very few if any alterations were made in the kitchen that has ever so humble white raised panel cabinets, winter white counter tops, a white porcelain apron front sink, open upper shelving for the daily dishes, and high-quality commercial style stainless steel appliances.

The back of the house opens through wide banks of wood-framed and striped awning shaded sliding glass doors to a reasonably roomy back yard all decked out with an above-ground spa, bulky river rock fireplace and a built-in barbecue station. There are numerous areas for dining and lounging and, should one like, room for a pool. Deeded beach access, according to listing details, is just across the lane.

Your Mama knows that Miz Gilpin and Mister Vincent previously owned at least two other homes in Los Angeles. The more substantial of their previous properties is a mini-estate with a nearly five thousand square foot Spanish style estate perched high on a promontory above Beverly Hills that they sold back in 2007 for $5.6 million.

When Miz Ashwell owned the Colony micro-compound she repeated rented it to high profile people including Law & Order superstar and Tinseltown royal Mariska Hargitay, blond bomber Pam Anderson—while she was renovating her own house in the Colony, and Britney Spears—right after she left ex-husband Kevin Whatshisface and was palling around with Paris Hilton.

Since Miz Gilpin's to date seminal professional gig on the long ago cancelled sitcom series Frasier she's popped up in a slew of television programs including the police procedural CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and the teen drama Make It or Break It. For six years in the mid-Aughts she did a variety of voices for the erstwhile Emmy-winning animated sitcom King of the Hill.

listing photos: Pritchitt-Rapf & Associates

Judge Judy Buys in Beverly Hills

BUYER: Judy and Jerry Sheindlin
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $10,700,000
SIZE: 4,680 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In case any of the children somehow didn't already know, daytime television judge Judy Sheindlin is rich. To be more exact, she's filthy stinking rich. In 2011 it was revealed the famously vituperative television bench warmer works only about 5 days per month and, for her scant effort, rakes in about $45 million per year.

A few quick tabulations on the well-worn beads of Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that works out to a toe curling $123,287 and 67 damn cents per day...everyday. Although most online reports state she hoovers up a staggering $865,000 for each day she's on set, Your Mama calculates Judge Judy hauls in a much lower $750,000 for every day she spends in her faux-courtroom and barks her small claims court legalese to a pearl clutching parade of humanity who sue each other willy-nilly over things like bill money, fender benders and broken damn chop sticks. Let's be honest, though Either figure is plenty high enough to to make minimum wage workers and average multi-millionaires alike feel just a little bit suicidal, right? As our frequent informant Yolanda Yakketyyak more succinctly put it, "Judge Judge could buy and sell my life with the change she loses in the cushions of her private jet."

And, yes, butter beans, the fast-talking and exceedingly well compensated legal referee and her much less blustery second (and third) husband Jerry Sheindlin, who briefly presided over People's Court in the late 1990s and early 2000s, do indeed own a private jet. So the stories go, the East Coast-based judge climbs aboard her jet a couple times a month and wings her way to Los Angeles where her wildly popular courtroom reality t.v. freak show tapes at the Sunset Bronson Studios in the still somewhat gritty heart of Hollywood.

Your Mama doesn't know where Judge Judy shacked up the last number of years when she was in Tinseltown for her courtroom tapings. We like to imagine it was a hideously expensive multi-room suite at one of the pricier hotels around town. What we do know, however, thanks to a little birdie we'll call Kent Konfidential, is that Judge Judy can now hole up in her very own pied-a-terre at the new and swankily swish Montage Beverly Hills hotel and condo complex where property records confirm she's shelled $10,700,000 for a 4,680 square foot spread with five bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, four exposures, seven small balconies and four dedicated parking spots in the underground garage.

Avid celebrity real estate watchers may recall that there have been rampant and thus far unconfirmed rumors and reports—probably started by yours truly—that another high earning and large livin' Showbiz superstar, Oprah Winfrey, (allegedly) shelled out around $14,000,000 for one of the twenty spacious spreads at Montage Beverly Hills. Imagine those two running into each other in the elevator or in the dressing room of the hotel's spa.

While the actual layout may differ, the floor plan included with online marketing materials for the small number of lavish private apartments at Montage Beverly Hills shows Judge Judy's new upper floor West Coast bedsit is entered through a long, L-shaped foyer and gallery off of which open a puny coat closet, a powder pooper, a tiny library and a giant, temperature controlled walk-in wine cellar. If one walks long enough they'll finally arrive at a 42-plus foot long living room with fireplace that gives out to a narrow balcony with low-rise but still panoramic city, mountain and sky views.

The adjoining formal dining room also opens to a balcony—albeit an even more narrow one with a southerly vista—and connects through to a commodious kitchen well-equipped with a center work island/snack bar, a walk in pantry and all the usual bells and whistles to be expected in a five-star condo-hotel residence that costs nearly 11 million bucks.

One set of double doors in the living room opens to a bedroom/den with skinny south-side balcony and a second set of double doors lead to the bedroom wing where two bedrooms on opposite sides of a wide corridor share a sizable hall bathroom. There's also a convenient utility/laundry room off the bedroom corridor.

The master suite occupies a prime position at tail end of the hall and includes a pair of roomy walk-in closets and a spacious bedroom with direct access to private balcony with sweeping views over Beverly Hills and beyond. The attached master bathroom has a couple of sinks separated by a make-up vanity, separate tub and stall shower and his and her crapper cubbies, hers with a bidet and his without because, apparently, men don't care to wash their bums with a bidet.

A comfortably sized guest suite—or an unusually luxurious staff suite—is smartly and privately tucked into a quiet corner behind the kitchen and offers over-nighting occupants a minuscule balcony, a large walk in closet and a private bathroom that's bigger and better outfitted than most peoples' master bathrooms.

Montage Beverly Hills offers residents an army of discreet and pampering staff including attentive and well connected concierges, super deluxe amenities (i.e. spa and fitness facilities and a roof-top swimming pool), five-star hotel services (i.e. room service, laundry, and housekeeping), and exceedingly tight security circumstances. Although residents have a private, residents' only lobby and access to at-home dining services, they're certainly free to hang out in the hotel's lobby lounge and dine at the hotel's on-site restaurant Scarpetta.

It seems that Judges Judy and Jerry have been in the mood to shake up their real estate portfolio. Last week the legal eagles sold their deluxe (if decoratively quite staid) corner apartment on the 11th floor of the uncommonly posh and storied Sherry Netherland on Fifth Avenue in New York City to an unknown buyer for an as yet unrevealed amount. Your Mama (dissed and) discussed the two bedroom and 2.5 bathroom park view pied-a-terre that also includes a cell-sized staff room/office and bathroom on the 10th floor after it popped up on the open market in early 2013 with a $9,000,000 price tag.

In addition to a Gulf-front penthouse pad in Naples, FL, they picked up in 2005 for $6.9 million, the low-key but lavish living couple's residential property portfolio also includes—but may not be limited to their primary residence, a forbidding stone mansion on 12.54 manicured acres in hoity-toity Greenwich, CT. Property records show they bought the bucolic estate in September 2007 for $13,200,000 and various online reports reveal they proceeded to demolish the existing 11,623 square foot mansion and replace it with an approximately 20,000 square foot manor house.

Aerial imagery shows the gated estate has a substantial gate house—presumably for security, a carriage house, a massive motor court, vast lawns, extensive formal gardens, a swimming pool, and a poolside cabana with a deep, trellis-shaded patio. Your Mama didn't turn up too many details about the house itself but but one of the army of fellas and gals hired to do faux-paint finish work throughout the newly constructed house posted a few snaps of the place on his own blog that will give the children some idea of its scale and rather traditional interior appointments.

Just in case you're curious, the Sheindlins' 2012 property taxes in Greenwich, according to public records, ballooned to a mind-bending $230,660. Listing details indicate the fees for her new digs in Bev Hills chalk up to $5,366 per month but it's not clear to Your Mama if that includes the property taxes.

NOTE: Listing photos are representational and may or may not reflect that actual rooms in the mini-mansion-sized condo recently acquired by Miz Judge Judy.

listing photos and floor plan: Montage Residences