Anderson Cooper Lists Modern Penthouse Pad

SELLER: Anderson Cooper
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $3,750,000
SIZE: 3,100 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Now that he's just about finished refurbishing an historic, huge, and oh-so-manly decommissioned firehouse in New York City's Greenwich Village, (sometimes giggly) CNN news anchor Anderson Cooper has pushed his very contemporary Midtown Manhattan duplex penthouse on the market with an asking price of $3,750,000.

Property records and previous reports show fortunately-born and well-educated Mister Cooper—the son of American heiress and designer jeans pioneer Gloria Vanderbilt, in case you didn't know—picked up his Midtown co-operative crib in early 2005 when he paid $2,480,000 for what was then just a half-floor simplex loft-style apartment with exclusive rights to develop the building's roof for private use. The globe trotting journalist quickly hired the smart, accomplished, and minimal-minded architects at workshop/apd to reconfigure everything, blow out the roof, add a 1,000-plus square foot second floor, and create pair of roof terraces that total, according to listing information, about 1,700 square feet.

The result, according to listing information, is a sleek, restrained, and sparely but luxuriously finished loft-like apartment of  about 3,100 square feet and currently configured with 2 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. A quick study of the floor plan shows a somewhat unconventional layout with the main entry and bedrooms located on the lower level and the more "formal" living/entertaining areas and kitchen situated on an upper level accessed via a thrilling, floating staircase fashioned from accordion-folded steel.

A living/family room with built-in entertainment cabinetry that holds and hides a giant flat screen tee-vee sits in between the two bedrooms on the lower level. A series of frosted glass panels at the north end of the living/family slide open to reveal a spacious guest suite with a wall of over-sized windows, built-in wardrobes that flank an entertainment center cabinet with flat screen tee-vee, and an attached bathroom with full wall of frosted glass that allow light to filter in from the nearby window(s) but sill allow users a modicum of privacy.

A raised den/library nook just off the entry lined with paper thin steel book shelves (already emptied of any books that may have been there when Mister Cooper occupied the premises) connects to the compact but well-equipped master suite complete with closet-lined dressing room, petite bedroom with double-wide fireplace, a row of south facing windows and attached bathroom with swank finishes that include split-faced diamond grey limestone, slatted teak floors, dark chocolate-colored stainless steel accents, acid-etched glass partitions and shower enclosure, and and old-timey (and totally unexpected) claw-footed soaking tub.

The floating steel staircase leads up to a the second level living/entertainment areas comprised of an open plan living area (with fireplace) and window-lined dining area. Around the corner but open to the living and dining areas, the Euro-sleek center island kitchen offers top-grade stainless steel and integrated appliances, Caesarstone counter-tops, a large sky light, and a single glass door that opens to the lower level, wrap-around terrace. The lower level terrace, also accessible from the living room area of the upper floor, has a gas grill and metal and ipe wood stair case that ascends to a second, fully-landscaped roof terrace that wraps around a classic Manhattan water tower and includes decked walkways, wood planters and planter boxes, and at least two patches of grass that Mister Cooper's pooch Molly most certainly appreciated. Yes, puppies, there are actual lawns on the roof of this Manhattan apartment building.

Additional super-luxe amenities, according to listing information, include state-of-the-art surround sound and lighting systems, radiant heated floors, 7-inch wide aged, smoked Chambord oak floors, steel and a variety of acid etched glass panels. The 12-floor, 30-unit boutique building offers residents video security—which probably means no door man—and a full-time super to sweep the halls and haul the trash cans in and out. Listing information indicates Mister Cooper's penthouse condo carries monthly maintenance and common charges that total $3,184.

Previous to his duplex penthouse Mister Cooper owned an approximately 2,000 square foot, third-floor loft apartment in the same building that he had worked over by the folks at workshop/apd and sold in January 2006 for $1,580,000 to a couple of gays who flipped the 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom apartment about 1.5 years later for $1,775,000.

Since at least the late 1990s, in addition to his urban nest Mister Cooper has maintained a 3-plus acre waterfront retreat in the little-known Hamptons community of Quiogue (NY). Last year the buff and hairless silver fox dropped $1,700,000 to expand his Quantuck Bay spread to include an additional 2.4 acres with a classic, 1940s Cape Cod-style shingled cottage.

listing photos and floor plan: Prudential Douglas Elliman

Dick Clark Says So Long to Remote Malibu Hideaway

SELLER: Dick Clark
LOCATION: Malibu, CA
PRICE: $3,500,000
SIZE: 1 bedroom, 2 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Ain't no doubt about it, puppies, Emmy-winning octogenarian Dick Clark is a Showbiz treasure and legend who—get ready for a lame and lazy segue way here—owns at least three iconic residences in the low-key but very costly and celebrity-packed coastal enclave of Malibu, CA.

In addition to two significant ocean front spreads—a bit more on those later—Mister Clark has long-owned a quite remote mountain top hideaway on the border between Los Angeles and Ventura counties that he spun on to the open market this week with a $3,500,000 asking price.

The younger children in our virtual midst probably don't have a God damn clue who Mister Clark is but we suggest they do themselves a favor and look him up on the interweb. There's no hyperbole, we don't think, in saying the man revolutionized the music and entertainment industries with his wildly popular and pop-culturally super-significant dance and music program American Bandstand. The show first aired in 1957 and continued for more than 30 years. Thirty years, children, is a long ass time and during that time just about everyone who was or would become anybody in the (pop) music world chatted with Mister Clark and performed on the program.

Truth be told, butter beans, it makes Your Mama a bit misty to think of American Bandstand. In our (long ago) youth the high-energy program provided a kind of televised life line to a far more cosmopolitan life than we knew in our beautiful but small and (back then) oppressively provincial home town. Watching American Bandstand as a hip-wiggling pre-teen in corduroy overalls gave us a heroin-like dose of the glamorous life we thought we wanted, one fully-stocked with lust-inducing lookers outfitted in fearless fashion statements gyrating wildly to new genres of modern music that parent-aged people often detested. What, we thought at the time, could be better than all that glittery nonsense?

Anyhoo, Mister Clark, who famously managed to maintain his youthful appearance well into his advanced years, also hosted several versions of the word association-based game show Pyramid, originally called The $10,000 Pyramid but had a name change when ten thousand dollars no longer seemed like a lot of money for a person to win on a game show.

Since 1972 Mister Clark has hosted the eponymous Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve (DCNYRE), a New Year's Eve music/variety extravaganza on which he continues to appear each year despite having a stroke in 2004. Since 2005, DCNYRE has been co-hosted by the meticulously manicured Ryan Seacrest, Mister Clark's unofficial Showbiz heir apparent who, like Mister Clark, first had success on the radio and, we can assure the children, will have a long, industrious and financially fruitful career as an entertainment industry tycoon who, like Mister Clark—awkward transition number two—will own a handful of architecturally idiosyncratic and discussion-worthy residences.

All you people out there who prefer their homes have a traditional vibe can move on to your next task because you are not likely to appreciate this little residential ditty which has an honest-to-goodness crafty-homemade quality and looks more like a white-washed cave hangout than it does a house with a lot of boring right angles.

Listing information shows Mister Clark's rather peculiar bedsit in the Malibu boondocks sits on 22.89 secluded acres accessed by a little traveled canyon road that twists up in to the rugged mountains off the Pacific Coast Highway. A hair pin left turn off the paved canyon road puts you on a snaking, dead-end dirt road used by just a couple other equally remote residences. A second hair pin turn off the dirt road swoops up to an unpaved motor court and detached, two-car carport.

A wide concrete walkway curves up through the indigenous desert-meets-seaside landscape to the low-profile abode, which at first glance looks like it was fashioned from papier mâché or carved out of a massive boulder. Listing information does not indicate the square footage—neither does the Ventura County Tax Man—but does show the open plan, hive-like home contains just 1 bedroom and 2 bathrooms.

Mister Clark's mountaintop spread is almost ludicrously remote, the sort of place where if you forget to buy milk, a tomato, toilet paper or lady-part necessities you simply make due with whatever might be at hand. It's about 22 miles and at least a half hour (without much traffic) to the Malibu Country Mart and Lumber Yard and another 12 or 15 miles and another half hour (without much traffic) to the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. Closer perhaps but not much more convenient are the Ventura County communities of Oxnard and Camarillo, each about 20 miles and a forty minute drive from Mister Clark's isolated hideaway.

Even for a solitary person like Your Mama who happily go days without speaking or seeing another person besides The Dr. Cooter and Fiona Trambeau who calls every day to let us know she's not passed out in the apartment of some unsavory character with whom she's gone home the night before, this is a think-about-it-twice sort of secluded that, despite the spectacular 360-degrees views and stunning scenery, borders on godforsaken. Just think of what it costs in gas alone to have a minimum wage girl drive out there every couple of days to keep the plants watered. Plus, three and a half million clams is a lot of dinero for a getaway where overnight guests will have to curl up on the curved sofa in the living room, pitch a tent in the back yard or fold themselves into the back seat of their car.

The multi-level living and entertaining spaces include an intimately-scaled living room with sheep's-wool colored wall-to-wall shag carpeting, the aforementioned, custom designed curved couch, a fireplace-like cubby for the telly, and a massive oval opening filled with geometrically installed frameless glass that brings in a distant but dynamic view of the Pacific Ocean. The ocean view is no less enticing from the adjoining dining room with sensually undulating ceiling and walls with built-in buffet along one side, more shag carpeting under foot, and a dining room table with chunky pedestal base encased in hand-stitched leather patchwork.

It's all very organic and strange and we're not afraid to say we swoon for it all...well, for most of it anyways. The kitchen, by our humble and utterly meaningless opinion, is a bit of a disaster. The series of port hole-like windows in the kitchen do provide magnificent vistas of the surrounding craggy mountains that would make doing the dishes an almost pleasurable experience but the rippling, drippy, and downright Dali-esque cabinets make Your Mama feel a bit queasy. We applaud the effort at stylistic consistency here but iffin we were to buy this property—and there is no chance we will buy this property—we'd have to rip that kitchen out and re-do in in a more sleek manner that would operate in a visual juxtaposition to the homes sometimes anatomical-looking interior architecture that swells, surges, swoops and hollows in the most unusual and delightfully unexpected manner.

The shag carpeting stretches into the lone bedroom adjacent to the living room that has wide, amoebic windows, a raised fireplace, lots of chaise-y chairs for lounging, and an almost cochlear bathroom with pebble tile floor, cantilevered vanities, and a party-sized jetted tub set into an undulating niche with the most dee-vine (and divine) view that stretches from mountain top to mountain top for as far as the eye and air quality will allow.

We regret to inform that children we know nothing about the architect and/or how house this house came to be. If anyone wants to enlighten Your Mama, be sure to give us a jangle on the email.

Mister Clark owns at least two other notable and well-located properties in Malibu. In the late 1970s Mister Clark acquired a funnel shaped parcel of property that narrows as it gets to the beach where there now exists an 8,688 square foot hexagonal-shaped house and swimming pool that sits so right on the sand that any closer would put it in the surf.

Real estate reports from 2002 reveal Mister Clark paid Pepperdine University "close to $15,000,000" for Gull's Way, an enviably sited 11-and-some acre bluff top estate above Latigo Beach. At the time Mister Clark picked the property up it included a 6,600 square foot main house, an 1,800 square foot guest house, caretaker's cottage, beach shack and extensive grounds with a pet cemetery. There is online evidence the property is sometimes leased out as a wedding and event venue. The property had been donated to Pepperdine by Luella "Billie" Ulrich who hoped they would utilize it as some sort of conference center but the high-priced college was unable to obtain the necessary permits and variances to do so.

listing photos: Everett Fenton Gidley for Coldwell Banker / Malibu Colony

Michael Jordon Lists Multi-Wing Mega-Mansion

SELLER: Michael Jordon
LOCATION: Highland Park, IL
PRICE: $29,000,000
SIZE: 32,683 square feet, 9 bedrooms, 15 full and 4 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Simmer down tater tots. We know we're a bit late to this particular rodeo. That's because, for better and/or worse, Your Mama spent this morning frying up a very different celebrity real estate fish.

While Your Mama got busy shucking, jiving and making petty jabs about Little Kimmy Kardashian and her recent (and alleged) real estate activities, the celebrity real estate pooper scoopers over at The Wall Street Journal revealed that long-ago-retired but still much-beloved professional basketballer and sports world entrepreneur Michal Jordon pushed his multi-wing mega-mansion in the upscale Chicago suburb of Highland Park (IL) on the market with a super-sized and publicity-ensuring $29,000,000 asking price.

Even Your Mama, who does not know a tight end from a power forward in the athletic sense, knows well that Mister Michael Jordan is one of America's most adored, accomplished, and highly paid professional athletes and product endorsers with a half billion dollar-plus fortune and fat property portfolio to prove it.

Mister Jordan was expensively divorced from his first wife Juanita in 2007; It reportedly cost him close to $170,000,000 or, seen another way, ten million clams for every 17 years they were married. At about the time of their legal severance of marital ties the family's long-time Highland Park estate was transferred in to a trust. Unfortunately, Your Mama has no specific intel about whether Mister Jordan (along with his new fiancée Yvett Prieto) or ex-Missus Jordon occupied and maintained the premises over the last five years. Whatever the case, the suburban estate with its mall-sized mansion is now up for grabs.

The electronically-controlled front gates bear the number 23, which Your Mama thought might be the property's street address until we did a little due diligence and discovered '23' was the number that appeared on Mister Jordan's jersey throughout his illustrious career on the hardwoods. The gates swing open to a tree-lined black top drive that swoops across the thoroughly landscaped 7.29 acre estate and around to a massive, tree-shaded circular drive that has far more in common with the motor court out front of some random resort hotel than it does the driveway of average American home. The snaking drive continues beyond the circular drive, past two separate (but attached), climate-controlled, three car garages, curves around to a pair of small parking lots and winds up at a rear motor court where there appears to be another three-bay, climate-controlled garage.
 
Listing information shows Mister Jordan's mega-mansion measures in at a titanic 32,683 square feet with a total of 9 bedrooms and 15 full and 4 half bathrooms. It doesn't take a bejeweled abacus to figure out that's a total of 19 terlits, an amount that ensures the owner/resident of this beast of a house employ a full-time minimum wager tasked only to locate and lave all 19 bathrooms on a twice weekly basis. The Wall Street Journal pegged the manse at "more than 56,000 square feet of space," an figure we think—but can not confirm—probably includes the colossal compound's "indoor basketball complex" and "three bedroom guesthouse."

The Wall Street Journal also reported the mansion was constructed between 1993 and 1995 and images show it retains its original, well maintained and liberally curvaceous 1980s-minded exterior articulation. The interior was extensively renovated in 2009 with a decidedly sleek and very contemporary aspect that skews vaguely corporate due in part to the large scale of some of the rooms. Interior spaces, according to listing information, marketing materials and/or previous reports, include hotel ballroom-proportioned 1,056 square living room and an almost 800 square foot family room with floor-to-ceiling glass sliders on two opposite walls and a massive triangular sky light that runs like a spine down the center of the 37-foot long room.

A circular dining area's soaring ceiling is topped by an octagonal sky light and the adjacent, sculptural kitchen has a huge center island (with cook top) that appears to float in the center of the room, full-height pantry and storage cabinets, and—one imagines—the most expensive appliances money can buy. We realize this kitchen will not appeal to those who see kitchens as the emotional heart of the home but for all those folks who prefer their cooking centers be more Maserati than mini-van, this one will surely make them pee their pants with culinary equipment desire.

Listing information indicates Mister Jordan's mansion also contains a 500-plus square foot second level library, a 600-plus square foot den on the main level, an office and a study also on the main level, and at least one laundry room the size of what would pass for a good-sized bedroom in a modest suburban ranch house.

The various and vast patios and terraces that extend off the back of the house drop down to high-maintenance manicured grounds that encompass acres of flat lawns with an amoebic putting green, tucked away tennis court, suggestively-shaped deep-water pond, and a children's playground with two elaborate jungle gyms. Both The WSJ and listing information we peeped indicate Mister Jordan's estate includes a swimming pool although we're unable to locate it listing photos and/or aerial images of the property.

The property's pièce de résistance—and also perhaps it's bête noire due to the obvious fact that so few people in the Chicago area who can afford it will actually want to own or maintain it—would most certainly be the fully custom, state-of-the-art indoor basketball complex completed in 2001 and equipped with, as per The WSJ, "a full-size regulation basketball court with specially cushioned hardwood flooring, adjustable backstops and baskets and competition-quality, high-intensity lighting. The complex has a sound system tuned to provide perfect acoustics within the court space."

As best as we know from our research, in addition to the Highland Park beast Mister Jordan heaved on to the market this week His Airness currently maintains a penthouse pad in Charlotte, NC (where he's part owner of some professional basketball team or another that we know nothing about), a major mansion in the a gated, golf community in Jupiter, FL that is either newly completed ought to soon be completed, and a substantial ski house on almost 4 acres in posh Park City, UT.

aerial photo (top): Bing
listing photos: Baird & Warner

Your Mama Hears...

...through the Tinseltown celebrity real estate gossip grapevine that reality television denizen Kim Kardashian has packed up her industrial-sized booty and moved into a leased mansion located just down the road and around the corner from a number of other trouble-making tabloid superstars like Paris Hilton, Charlie Sheen and Robbie Williams.

Hardcore celebrity real estate mavens and reality television aficionados may recall Little Kimmy Kardashian followed up the $885,000 sale of her 3 bedroom Los Angeles, CA kondo krib in January 2010 with the February 2010 purchase of a nearly 4,000 square foot faux-Tuscan villa high up above Beverly Hills, CA. The 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom mansion, gated, heavily secured and set very close to the street on a cul-de-sac that runs up a narrow ravine just below Mulholland Drive, cost K.K., according to property records, $3,400,000.

In late January of this year, in the turbulent wake of poor K.K.'s quickie marriage and divorce from some hunky Midwestern fella whose name we can no longer recall, an unhinged fan—let's call him Mister Delusional—showed up at front gate of K.K.'s Bev Hills home with luggage in tow. Mister Delusional claimed he'd flown into town all the way from North Carolina to work on the one of K.K.'s reality programs that include the long-running and exceedingly lucrative Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kourtney and Kim Take New York , a program we've never seen but are absolutely sure is nothing less than scintillating and truly meaningful. Clearly Mister Delusional was, well, delusional and K.K.'s team of quick-thinking security guards snatched the wannabe intruder up and rang the po-po who, natch, escorted from moe-ron from the premises and—we imagine but don't actually know—served the nimrod with a well-deserved restraining order.

It wasn't long after that ugly incident all the gossip glossies and celebrity-based blogs reported K.K. was so freaked out by the whole thing that she wanted to move from her current residence in Bev Hills to a nearby guard-gated community that would provide her with an extra layer of security in addition to her body guard(s).

Well, dontcha know butter beans, according to an often in the know source (and the peeps The Daily Mail who beat us to the punch), that's just what K.K. did. The entertainment industry global superstar and entrepreneur—who does not, as far as Your Mama can tell, sing, dance, act or have any other showbiz-y talent besides near-shameless self promotion—(allegedly) leased a 6,775, square foot mock-Med meets Asian-infused Craftsman-style mansion in the celebrity-filled and guard-gated Mulholland Estates community. Some of the other high profile residents/homeowners in the 'hood include Vanna White, Judith Light, and rock 'n roller Slash who pushed his 11,000 square foot Mediterranean manse on the market as a pocket listing in mid-2011 with a $9.5 million price tag, since cut to $9.1 million.

Although it's absolutely a luxury development where the tree-lined streets are lined with multi-million dollar (mc)mansions, some of the children will surely see Mulholland Estates as a somewhat curious choice for someone concerned about their security since the community has over the years been a bit of a hotbed of crime: Paris Hilton's high-glam house was burgled by the infamous Bling Ring in 2008 and in 2010 some guy showed up on her doorstep with a knife; Besides all the illegal activities that surely took place inside his house Charlie Sheen has had not just one but two Mercedes Benz stolen right out from his damn driveway and run off a cliff in to a nearby ravine.


Anyhoo, listing information for the house in question Your Mama managed to tease up out of the interweb shows the 4 bedroom and 6 bathroom mansion K.K. (allegedly/reportedly may have) leased in the Mulholland Estates community was built in 2003 and last on the open market as a fully-furnished rental with a hefty hefty hefty $40,000 per month price tag. We can't say for sure if K.K. rented this house but our research did turn up evidence the nearly half acre, Balinese resort-inspired spread, owned by a brainy businesswoman/philanthropist/heiress to a billion dollar-plus biomedical fortune, was also available for purchase an asking price of $10,950,000.

Interior spaces (shown above) include an intimately-scaled foyer that bursts dramatically into a double-height entrance hall with celeb-style curved staircase and stunning Lagos Azul limestone flooring that continues into the formal living room. The cocktail-party friendly living room, divided into two section by a pair of columns, has a fireplace, several sets of Craftsman-style glass doors that open to lushly landscaped gardens, and a grand piano just in case K.K. wants to tinkle the ivories.

Another pair of columns stand between the entrance hall and formal dining room where there's more blue limestone underfoot, another fireplace and over-sized windows with backyard and swimming pool view. The limestone carries on in the chef-friendly, eat-in kitchen complete with sizable center island, snack counter, a full complement of high-grade stainless steel appliances, and custom Shaker-style mahogany cabinetry topped by bull-nosed granite counter tops.

The floor material switches to wide-plank wood in an adjacent family room spacious enough to accommodate a pool table and a seating area oriented towards a paneled wall with fireplace surrounded by five—that's right 5—flat screen televisions, one big one in the middle with two smaller ones stacked on either side. Wide, Craftsman-style glass doors on two walls open the room (with its mostly beige, black and burnt orange day-core) to foliage ringed patios and terraces.

If the lavish-living K.K. really did rent this residence she no doubt fell head over Jimmy Choos for the sprawling master suite privately situated at the back of the house where it takes advantage of canyon and city views through huge windows and glass doors. A chunky and very contemporary three-sided concrete-faced fireplace separates a private sitting room (with Juliet balcony) from the bedroom area where there's a small, built-in shelving and entertainment center tucked into the corner next to the fireplace with wall-mounted flat screen tee-vee for watching Jimmy Kimmel, Chelsea Handler, Saturday Night Live and/or more lusty and lurid fare.

The over-sized attached master bathroom has stone flooring (that we can only hope has radiant heat), two sinks and vanities, a concrete-lined and glass-enclosed steam shower with long concrete bench, and an oval-shaped stone soaking tub set into an elevated deck in front of a full wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. A pair of custom-fitted, boutique style walk in closet/dressing rooms surely appealed to a clotheshorse like K.K. who does not, it seems to Your Mama from what we see in all the tabs and gossip glossies, leave the house for any reason whatsoever without the laborious and expensive efforts of a wardrobe stylist, hair doer and make-up gal. All the image effort seems positively reedonkulous to Your Mama who can't be bothered to put on a proper pair of shoes most days, but we get it. When yer a reality tee-vee lightening rod of controversy like K.K. is you always always always gotta look on point for the public who will gleefully shred a publicity seeking beehawtch for showing up at at the CVS in Calabasas or proto-suburban Sherman Oaks looking the least bit janky.

The lower level of the house opens out to a variety of patios and entertainment areas that include a curtained and vine-draped pergola lounge area that flows out to a second lounge area under the stars. At the other end of house a dining area nestled into a crook of the house has built-in bench seating, and a Palapa-shaded outdoor kitchen/barbecue center has bar seating. A sensuously curved sunbathing terrace snacks along the rim of a black-bottomed swimming pool and wood bridge spans a narrow arm of the pool to an elevated terrace with sunken spa set into a ring of palm trees from where night time hot tubbers can see down the house-dotted canyon and across the sparkly carpet of lights of the pancake-flat San Fernando Valley.

As it turns out, way back in early February after it was reported K.K. might want to move house, the leggy lady at Trulia suggested K.K. might want to consider this very house.

For the record, Your Mama has no direct knowledge of K.K. looking at or moving in to this house and, it should be noted, she recently tweeted the following:

So funny I was reading some magazine that showed pics of my new home...home is nice, but never seen it before! LOL who makes this stuff up?

Make of that what you will.

aerial photo (at top): Pacific Coast News
listing photos: Coldwell Banker / Beverly Hills South