Friday, June 15, 2007

Funny Man Jamie Kennedy's Funny House

SELLER: Jamie Kennedy
PRICE: $1,099,000
LOCATION: N. Fairfax Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 2,505 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A fantastic 2 story home behind gates in a central location. Steps from Sunset Blvd. and minutes from heart of the strip and all it has to offer. A bonus detached guest house has half bath, hardwood floors and sliding door to zen like back yard with lots of green and vegetation. Could be used as maids quarters. Comfortable 2500 SF living space with high ceilings. A few tough ups and this is the deal your clients have been looking for!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Comedian Jamie Kennedy has been around Hollywood a lot longer than most people might imagine. Long before The Jamie Kennedy Experiment and the should have been funny Malibu's Most Wanted, where he played the a rich white kid who adopted the language and syntax of a black rapper, he appeared in dozens of mostly forgettable television programs and films. But over the years he managed to land a few plum parts including a small part in Dead Poets Society, a couple of episodes of Ellen, and of course his role as geeky Randy Meeks in Scream 1,2, and 3.

He also wrote an autobiographical book called Wannabe: A Hollywood Experiment that chronicles his lackluster career in Hollywood and his subsequent rise to success that was facilitated by pretending to be his own agent.

Even before Mister Kennedy achieved real success in Hollywood in the early 2000s, the funny man scraped his pennies together and bought himself a homestead in the heart of Los Angeles. Perhaps it was his paychecks from the first and second Scream movies that enabled him to purchase this house in July of 1998 for $529,000. The location on busy Fairfax Avenue just north of Sunset Boulevard ensures easy access to all parts of Los Angeles and also guarantees a significant amount of road noise at all hours of the day and night.

If anyone cared to walk in Los Angeles, the house is a short stroll to the shopping center/entertainment complex that was built on the spot where the legendary Schwab's Drug Store used to be. But since no one walks in LA, there is a tremendous parking garage underneath the complex for all the fancy cars that were driven from just a few blocks away. The shopping center includes a movie theater, a Wolfgang Puck restaurant, and most importantly, a Crunch gym for all the vanity driven health nuts in Hollywood. This Crunch place positively crawls with sweaty celebrities who drive down from the hills to take Cardio Striptease, Dodgeball, and Circus Sports classes.

While it's not a swanky section of West Hollywood, the neighborhood holds a lot of sentimental value for Your Mama. Back in the day we spent many a night just around the corner from Mister Kennedy's colorful house doing all sorts of illegal things, repeatedly getting trapped in a malfunctioning elevator, and once, having the police show up because Your Mama and a few pals were sitting on the roof of a building screaming the Star Spangled Banner in the middle of the night. The po-leese, bless their little hearts, were concerned we were going to commit mass suicide by jumping off the building. It was really something to see, all the fire trucks, ambulances, and uniformed men with bullhorns surrounding the building. When they realized we were just a bunch of bugged out teenagers wearing matching shoes with big, black satin laces, they laughed and told us to go inside "and have a normal party." Nice guys.

Anyhoo, Mister Kennedy's craftsman bungalow appears somewhat like we imagine Mister Kennedy to be himself: cluttered, a little chaotic, colorful, and a little juvenile. The exuberantly landscaped property offers a lagoon style swimming pool, several out door seating areas and a detached studio with a half bath that the listing says would be good for a maid. That is if the maid does not need to bathe, since there is no shower or tub in there.

Inside, the house appears to have some nice features like vaulted ceilings and a fireplace in the living room. But honestly, we're having a difficult time looking beyond questionable furniture choices and decor. A futon in the guest room? Jamie, seriously, a futon? And what's with the big plate in the fireplace?

But the room we've become utterly fixated on is the kitchen. This kitchen the exact sort of kitchen that can be found in any mid-priced tract home anywhere in the US of A. It has moved beyond ordinary and into aggressively banal. It may be fine for a 3 bedroom ranch in Peoria, but in a million dollar celebrity home? No.

The one spot we are really appreciating is the covered porch area with the butterfly chairs. The potted ficus trees were a good idea and the wee rug was an excellent additions for blurring the indoor outdoor feeling of the space. This area looks like the perfect place to light up a doobie and giggle with friends.

Your Mama has been informed by someone who would know that the house has been sold for more than the asking price. So good for Mister Kennedy. We imagine he will be taking some of his new found wealth and frat house furniture to a new, improved, bigger, and much more expensive abode. As you might imagine, we just hope Mister Kennedy hires a nice gay decorator to work some magic in the new house.


Anonymous said...

The house is cute and cozy, with nice features, and has shades of storybook quality to it. I have to agree with Mama about the furniture, decor, and kitchen though. The pool area setting is lovely, and while I can't call the pool unattractive, I'll never be a fan of walling the edges like that for practical reasons.

Anonymous said...

It does have somewhat of a storybook ambience to it which the house neglects to capitalize on especially in the 'I've obviously been redone' look of the kitchen. I'm not in love with the 'bathtub' pool concept either.

That said, the place has potential to be flat out adorable.

Anonymous said...

I actually kind of like the house - for the price range. With a good decorator turned loose in there, it could be nice. Is it my monitor, or is the back yard fence blue? If it's blue...I totally don't get THAT...but otherwise - not so bad.

Anonymous said...

I noticed the blue 'fence'(?) too and wondered about that. It dosen't look natural, whatever it is, and at first thought the picture might be an artist's rendering from when the pool area was in the planning stages. Now I'm wondering if perhaps it's a tarp of some kind that was purposely draped on the fence to make the features in that area stand out for the photo using contrast.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I like the home too, but that kitchen's gotta go. Not that it's in bad shape, it just dosen't look very well thought out and has no life - as if it was spotted as a Home Depot display kitchen and copied.

Anonymous said...

Umm what the hell, why wasn't there an update for today... what do you think you're doing! I LIVE FOR THIS BLOG! There is NO TIME for rest, Mama! I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, but seriously, I need something...!

Anonymous said...

People need to a break to recharge their batteries yanno. Hope you're having a terrific weekend Mama :)

Anonymous said...

This house seems a good buy. Put a few more dollars into the thing, and it could be real nice.

Burt and Paula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I am the listing agent of that house.. there was a flood of offers and it has sold for well over asking.. great write up mama.

Anonymous said...

There is no wolfgang restaurant there. Its a california Pizza Kict.

Anonymous said...

These are all nice house picture I liked this all house decorrtion.