Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Matt Tarses' Quick Sell in Studio City

SELLER: Matt Tarses
LOCATION: Alta View Drive, Studio City, CA
PRICE: $3,150,000
SIZE: 4,148 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Up a long driveway, through high gates is this Beautiful Southern Traditional Estate with land, privacy, style and amazing, explosive city views. A grand living rm, dining rm, grmt kitchen and family rm all open through French doors to the gorgeous yard, lawn, pool and cabana. Up the imposing staircase is a marvelous Master Suuite, with spa-like bathroom and fireplace. 2 additional bedrooms, an attached Guest house and a 3 car garage complete this magnificent, stylish home in the Hollywood Hills.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: If you don't live in Hollywood, read the trade rags, or look at the credits that roll on the boob tube, you prolly don't know who this Matt Tarses person is. So let Your Mama give you a quick education. Not only is Matt Tarses related to Hollywood heavy hitters Jay Tarses (father) and Jamie Tarses (sister), he's forged a considerable and successful career for himself as a television writer and executive producer of shows like the now defunct Sports Night, and the wildly successful Scrubs, and a recent and ill-fated show called Teachers, that Your Mama has never heard of.

Although property records indicate that Mister Tarses and his Missus Kathleen continue to own a house they purchased in September of 2000 on Castilian Drive in the Outpost Estates section of Los Angeles, they purchased this mini Tara in Studio City in July of 2006 for 2,900,029. And already they're selling. Hmm.

Located on a very private, large and flat lot over looking the San Fernando Valley, the 3 bedroom 3.5 bathroom house house is accessed by a long private drive that is shared with only two other properties. This is a fantastic set up for a celeb...really...all you celeb readers who are in the market for a house, might want to consider this one. At the entrance to the drive court we find imposing and ugly electronic gates. Nobody appreciate security electronic gates more than Your Mama, and the nice thing about these gates is they're able to keep the prying eyes of your neighbors from seeing if you're car is parked in the driveway. The bad thing is that if you live here you gotta look at those things everyday.

The front of the house is graced by wide upper and lower terraces that are accessed by a series of French doors. Your Mama expects ladies in big velvet dresses to be sitting up there on the balcony fanning themselves and sipping sweet tea while they giggle and watch their men perform feats of strength on the front lawn. Here's the thing though, it's all just too plain to be attractive. A few potted plants would go a long way because something needs to be done to distract from the old fashioned, insubstantial, and not very attractive white wrought iron railings.

In the family room we see the same lovely dark floors that are featured in the rest of the downstairs and we're digging the French doors that wrap the room to create a pleasantly porous barrier between the inside and outside. And of course, everyone knows Your Mama appreciates a sisal rug. We'll probably get skewered for saying this, but we also love that fantastic blue couch. Big Love. It's refreshing to see someone use a seriously punched up color in a traditionally decorated house. The armchair by the fireplace, on the other hand, looks like something from Grandma's upscale nursing home. Your Mama knows that many people are vehemently opposed to the proliferation of flat screen televisions that hang above fireplaces. However, in the main, Your Mama is not. None the less, this one looks a little cramped and a wee bit too high for comfort. Your Mama is concerned that craning our neck to watch that television would result in daily visits to the chiropractor.

Your Mama had a very intense negative reaction upon first setting eyes on the kitchen with it's faux-Bahamian style slatted cabinetry. Then we looked again. And then we looked at the photos of the master bathroom. Upon further reflection and consideration, we decided, that while we would never do this in our own home(s), the designer has smartly paired the rich cherry colored woodwork with gorgeous white counter tops freeing the slatted motif from seeming too much of a sad Caribbean affectation. Additional props for not installing one of those farmhouse sinks that Your Mama has come to loathe. We are over those bits of kitchen trendiness. O.V.E.R. If you live in a farmhouse, they're fine, but we're going to puke if we have to see them up in any more rich people houses.

Because there's simply no ozone layer left (can you say Al Gore?), and the California sun can be absolutely blistering even if you're slathered in SPF50, we could not be more thrilled that the Tarseses have thoughtfully installed a large, pergola covered shady spot to lounge and eat out of doors. The swimming pool has an excellent view if you consider the San Fernando Valley and excellent view, but it appears the tile work could use a little gussying up.

Your Mama hasn't a clue whether the Tarses clan are headed back to Outpost Estates or if they've got their eye on something even bigger and more impressive. Or why they would sell this house only 1 year after purchasing the place. Whatever the reasons, Your Mama wishes them a happy home wherever it is they land.



smiley said...

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?


smiley said...

this house reminds me of the south, except for the giant black gates of course!


Phoenix said...

The word “hemorrhoids” is derived from the ancient Greek words “haima,” meaning “blood,” and “rhoos,” meaning “flowing” :)

This house is a traditional Southern smiley. We had a very similiar one in Houston. Talk about deja vu. Ours was a reddish brown brick with creame color trim, spice brown shutters and natural wood front doors, and I liked it alot better I have to say. The black on this home is overpowering.

Anonymous said...

This is like some weird southern house in LA. However, it isn't too bad. They need a smaller table in the kitchen, and I'm not completely sold on the cherry, slatted cabinets throughout the house, but it does give the place a consistent look. Dining room is boring, but the bath is nice with the beautiful tub.

luke220 said...

For all the money that they have made in television, I am surprised that they don't have any large ones.

Anonymous said...

this house looks like it's wearing a tuxedo

West Coastian said...

smiley said...
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

I think maybe they could be considered as assteroids. I'm liking that one. lol

nancypants said...

Having lived about half my life in the South, I, of course, like much of this house, HOWEVER, it doesn't belong in CAL! I know it's a personal choice and all that tripe but it really grates on my nerves when people build houses that are totally out of place in their location.

sugarhoneyicetea said...

I live in the south and the only thing I like about this "southern traditional" is that blue sofa. Those cabinets are horrible and the white wrought iron is really dated.

nancypants said...

As a side note; my husband and I are both retired Air Force. We've lived ALL OVER and as an example of just a FEW of the homes where we lived... when we lived in Alaska, we bought a big, log home and when we lived in the South, we bought a "plantation" style home. In New Mexico, a lovely Spanish-style home; in the Pacific Northwest, a large, contemporary home that blended with the forests and now that we are in Colorado, a rock home with a huge number of lovely windows.
Our last assignment was in Montgomery, Alabama. The older, preserved homes on-base were a "southern" style but some long-gone, (idiot) base commander had a thing for Southwest architecture and as a result, many new buildings (including the huge HQ bldg) was made of white stucco (Alabama has red,clay dirt that splashes UP during heavy rains!) and red, tiled roofs. Red, TILE roofs! Do you know what happens when tornadoes and hurricane fall-out hit tile roofs? It isn't pretty.
PLEASE people! When designing and building a home, think about where you are; not where you've been.

Phoenix said...

Interesting comment nancy, and good advice. I feel for you and all the moving. We've lived up and down the coast, and from one side of the country to the other too, and it does get to you after awhile. I finally put my foot down and said 'no more' when his company wanted to transfer him overseas, threatening to leave if he dared uproot me again, lol. Now I am looking down the road to the retirement years and carefully weighing my options. I see one more move in our future when that happens, and this time we go where I want ;)

Anonymous said...

I visited this house and have to say the pictures don't do it justice. And if there's anything on the property you consider an eyesore, you need only look north...or east. The expansive views of the valley are pretty darn breathtaking whether you like the valley or not. Even in the master bath, a round window over the sink lets you look out over the city in the morning when you're brushing your teeth! After visitiing everything from English Tudors to Moroccan Palaces in Studio City, I found it to be one of the nicest on the market.