Saturday, August 18, 2007

Brian Bosworth's Big Villa in Malee-boo

SELLER: Brian Bosworth
LOCATION: Meadows Court, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $11,900,000
SIZE: 7 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spectacular Villa, with unparalleled views in the best area of Malibu. "Paradise Cove" the scale of this estate is matched only by it's views. Approx 11,000 sq ft of remarkable craftsmanship. Formal areas, family areas w/ expansive decks, guest house, 4 car garages, exquisite pool/spa w/ pool house, lush landscaping. One of a kind trophy property.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: All the children can probably imagine that Your Mama did not have a clue who this Brian Bosworth person is and why anyone might care that he's selling a big house in Malee-boo. A quick search on the internets told us he was a professional football player turned wannabe actor.

Not knowing a thing about football other than it gets played on a big grassy field with an oval ball and a lot of burly men in nearly see through tights, Your Mama got on the horn to our pal Fiona Trambeau out in San Francisco who relishes and delights in all things ball related. Fiona, with her infinite sports related wisdom, told us that "The Boz" was known for his flamboyant, controversial and combative ways. And a hideous trademark mullet hair-do. Then Fiona started to go on about steroid use, big contracts with the Seattle Seahawks, and a lackluster professional career, but Your Mama fell asleep from boredom while Fiona yammered on and on. So, unfortunately that's all we really know about Mister Bosworth's football career.

Whatever the boring details of Mister Bosworth's professional football career, it appears from the listing that Mister Bosworth has obtained his real estate license, because he's shown as the listing agent for this big "villa" up in Malee-boo overlooking Escondido Beach.

Located up a gated street of a small development of McMansions that we think is called Sycamore Meadows (anyone?), the house occupies 1.7 acres at the top of the cul de sac and features a long gated driveway and lovely views over the Pacific Ocean. Other than that, there's precious little Your Mama actually likes or finds particularly notable about this house.

Perhaps we're in the minority of folks here, but somebody please educate Your Mama on the demographic of people who can afford a $10,000,000+ house in Malee-boo who would want a big generic "villa" finished like an upscale tract house in Temecula? We're certain this house is large and well appointed with lots of bedrooms, bathrooms and an ocean view swimming pool, but in our very humble opinion, this just looks like a somewhat upscale builder's grade house.

The listings states the house measures approximately 11,000 square feet with 7 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms. However, property records on file with the assessor show a house measuring 8,854 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. Perhaps the larger numbers include the the guest quarters above the garage and the pool house?

Your Mama had a tough time sorting through the property records on this one, so we're unsure whether Mister Bosworth and his soon to be ex-wifey ever actually lived in this house. And frankly, we don't really care. All we really want to know is, who spends $10,000,000 to buy a house like this?

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is all about the view.
Someone please trim the bushes in the front. All that burnt grass is dangerous. Fire?

Jordan said...

This home was actually used for the exterior shots of Julie Cooper/Caleb Nichol's home on The OC. You can see more about it here... http://www.seeing-stars.com/OC/Caleb-JulieMansion.shtml

Phoenix said...

When I was growing up, mention of the words 'Beverly Hills' and 'Malibu' always conjured up images of incredible uniqueness and good taste. I've since located and identified the images, but am having a heck of a time finding much in either place that even comes close to meeting my expectations. I don't know about most people, but if you're asking $10 million + of my money for something, you better BLOW ME AWAY and leave me SPEECHLESS, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. For the price, this home is inexcusably uninspiring. No, make that flat out boring.

Phoenix said...

A quick review of Malibu properties turned up this not too shabby little jewel for roughly half the price. Talk about a view, and there's acerage, horse stables, you name it.

Anonymous said...

Amen phoenix. Another example is David Spade's place. Sure it's on the beach, but to ask for nearly a 100% profit in just 2 years for - let's be honest - that dump? It seems the people there operate on the premise that a fool and his money are soon parted.

so_chic_darling said...

OK here's the hard truth about people who buy this kind of so called "Upscale" Tuscany shit.By the way leave Tuscany in Italy it does not work in American and looks like the pastiche that it is!Most,not all,entertainers and sports stars grew up poor in shit towns in unimportant states or countrys longing for fame and fortune with little education in the fine arts,or even how to set a table for God's sake!When they get it they spend it on exactly this kind of crap.Most,although not all,of America does not understand that big is vulgar,in cars,tits,furniture,and homes!If it's bigger and flashier it's just got to be better?Well NO NO NO.Once again for the children I will quote that old Nazi lovin bitch Coco Chanel who said,"Some people think that luxury is the opposite of poverty.It is not,it is the opposite of vulgarity".Cash and flash is the American way!

so_chic_darling said...

One more thing related to the big house thing is the big car thing.When ever I see a man driving a Hummer I think to myself that it must be tough having a small cock!When it's a woman she's driving her mans car out looking for a big cock!

so_chic_darling said...

OK one more thing about this house......the listing says"remarkable craftsmanship".That's bullshit; have you ever seen them putting them up?They are made from sheets of chip board nailed together then covered in spray on finish.In Tuscany they are made from real wood,carved stone and various other hand made things.Don't talk crap about craftsmanship.An ilegal alien with a nail gun is a worker,exploited,not a craftsman!

FUNKENSTEIN said...

SO CHIC DARLING..LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!(eager applause from studio audience)

I'm not sure I can add much more to your hat trick rant.

Everybody is living a lie in Southern Cali.Sadly there are even GREATER FOOLS who want to join in.He'll probably get his price.

Anonymous said...

Do all of you feel better about yourelves now that you've vented and rambled on and on about the supposed virtues of your arbitrary and adopted tastes?

bitterspinster said...

The Boz was the pride and joy of the Oklahoma Sooners football program at one time, dontcha know. Graduated with a double major in only three years. The hair always ruined him for me though.

CanesRule said...

Doesn't anyone remember those epic games between Oklahoma and Miami in the late 80s when they met for 3 consecutive years? They were usually ranked #1 and #2. Miami won all three. The Boz was really hyped back then. I still remember the Miami fans ridiculing him and singing "bye bye Bozworth" at the end of the '87 national championship game in the Orange Bowl.

Anonymous said...

The house on the MLS link is much further away from the ocean. IMHO, that is a big part of the difference in price.

FUNKENSTEIN said...

Yeah..'Canes used to regularly HO-SLAP the Sooners.They still avoid scheduling them.Had Boz' been even a decent pro he'd have been a MARKETING COLOSSUS.He did manage to put his stamp on pop culture of the time with his hi-top mullet and tribal face paint.Pro wrestlers rock that look even now.Seem to remember seeing one of his flix on late-nite cable one insomniac evening.Saw him at a biker rally with some young hottie.That tells me that even in divorce he's probably got a comfy reserve.

Anonymous said...

I was wating for the usual "10 million is nothing" that is stated on here.

Im seeing premiums of 50% and more being charged for some properties.

Anonymous said...

I used to horseback ride by that house when they were building it. It is a very small tract of mcmansions, including one of the malibu rehabs.

Anonymous said...

So chic darling is right,like it or not America this is a land of gargantuan bad taste.

Anonymous said...

Ladies please,it's just so tasteless to cat fight about taste!

Anonymous said...

Oh!! I've always been interested in this house, since it was on The OC. It looked amazing on there. They filmed on location there a lot.

Anonymous said...

Some other pics

http://i11.tinypic.com/4l5em51.jpg
^from The OC

http://i11.tinypic.com/52qhjzd.jpg

http://i16.tinypic.com/4qhkcix.jpg
^Aerial view

Anonymous said...

Mama, do you have any information on this house? 6205 Ocean Breeze Drive in Malibu. It was also on 'The OC.' I'd love it if you posted some shots of it!!

Anonymous said...

agree with the bad reviews, though I quite like the pool with its little group of cypress trees

Anonymous said...

The OC shots make the home look better then the listing sheet!
Boz was such a hunk "o" man!

West Coastian said...

This is all I could find on the 6205 Ocean Breeze Drive

http://www.seeing-stars.com/OC/CohenHouse.shtml

Phoenix said...

Anon @ 2:38 PM, I didn't plot it out on a map, but I'm sure you're correct about the MLS listing I posted being farther from the beach. The view is birdseye stunning; the property large and feature rich. Were I looking to buy in Malibu at this time, being a step back from the beach while incorporating a view of it is exactly what.

Phoenix said...

exactly what I'd want.

Phoenix said...

"Do all of you feel better about yourelves now that you've vented and rambled on and on about the supposed virtues of your arbitrary and adopted tastes?"

Anon @ 12:35 PM, since you addressed your comment to 'all of you', and I fall into that number above yours, let me just say this is a blog to be used for purposes of discussion which necessarily depend on anything from the expression of opinions to the sharing of ideas. I see something supposedly virtuous, arbitrary, and adopted in your positing a comment like you did, anonymously, and then just leaving. I bet you even felt better about yourself afterward too, huh.

Anonymous said...

I think it's a beautiful house and the grounds are lovely, although I still don't understand what's so darn special about Malibu. I prefer the East Coast beaches myself.

Anonymous said...

Another generic MaMansion - ho hum. I agree the concept is getting pretty old, and hope to see a resurgence of quality design and construction in the future - the sooner the better.

Anonymous said...

When you're talking this kind of money, stay away from real estate developers who build speculatively, which I'd be willing to bet is how this house and the many others like it came to be. Their eye is on the financial bottom line to a much greater degree than the creative one. Buy your own land, retain your own architect, and employ your own contractor, and put the purveyors of copycat banality out of business.

Anonymous said...

Also, be sure to begin discussions with an architect by stating your design preference with a qualifier.. namely, if you've seen it all before, you don't want to see it again. He or she should immediately embrace the idea enthusiastically. If that dosen't happen, and especially if you're asked to explain what you mean, end the interview and keep looking.

Anonymous said...

Is the view only visibile from the loggias? No through the window views? Oh, tosh. Waste of location, I say.

Anonymous said...

Visible, I mean. Damn. Typos.

Paul0307 said...

Oh my! I know to some i may sound stupid but this is my dream house i love it if i had the money id pay that for it but i do think it's a bit out of what it;s really worth! Cannot believe is it for sale really?

Anonymous said...

This is a gorgeous house "in person", it was well built and details are excellently done. It's right across from the ocean and the views are stunning!
Hey, if you have the bucks to have a house like this...why not enjoy it!

Anonymous said...

I was a busboy working for a fine Italian restaurant in Bellevue, WA named "Domani" when The Boz was with the Seahawks. I vividly remember Brian frequently patronizing the restaurant. He would usually hang out in the bar area (where he could watch sports on TV of course) and order a big bowl of steamed clams. The signature mullet was easily visible from the other end of the restaurant!