Saturday, August 25, 2007

John O'Hurley's House of Hemp

SELLER: John OHurley
LOCATION: Monte Cielo Court, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $6,200,000
SIZE: 5,283 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday, the good people over at People announced that actor John O'Hurley and his wifey Lisa have put their Beverly Hills house on the market for $6,200,000 and Your Mama and all the internet children have Miz Rachel P. to thank for sending us the link, because Your Mama does not read that particular magazine...too many human interest stories about folks with missing limbs that have nothing to do with celebrities. Thank you People, but we do not want to read about Rhonda and her inspiring story of losing 300 pounds so she could carry a child. Please.

Anyhoo, The bizzy Mister O'Hurley has many nice acting credits under his belt, but Your Mama best remembers the grey haired actor as the arrogant and dimwitted J. Peterman on Seinfeld. We bet you do to. We'd be remiss not to also mention his recent turn in Spamalot (in Las Vegas, natch), his hosting duties on the game show Family Feud, and his less admirable appearance on the awful hit show Dancing With the Stars. We know that show is a huge success, HUGE, but Your Mama just cringes with embarrassment for the folks on that show. We'll watch it, but we gotta keep one eye closed whenever a former Teen Beat heart throb or an aging actor with a saggy booty struts out on the stage in a pair of too tight pants and a flowing flamenco blouse. Poor things. Everyone has gotta do what they gotta do to pay the mortgage and stay in the public eye.

Located up Coldwater Canyon on a small cul de sac of just four houses, the newly renovated "Italian villa" sits spitting distance from bawdy comedian Jack Black's low slung modern house, but Your Mama just can't imagine these two sitting down together for a bottle of wine and backyard bbq.

The 5,283 square foot house, freshly renovated by the 52 year old O'Hurley who recently became a first time daddy with his much younger blond wifey (surprise!), has 5 bedrooms a living room, dining room, eat in kitchen and a media room. According to the listing information, this house also has nine damn bathrooms, so it is just a good thing there are also maids quarters for the overworked Lucinda to crawl to after scrubbing nine terlits day in and day out.

Your Mama wants to discuss two of those nine bathrooms, specifically the two master bathrooms, which listing information and decor clearly indicate are for a him and a her. Guess the well to do Bev Hills homos and lesbos will not be living up in this house with it's distinctly his and hers master bathrooms. One is all dark marble and woody with a men's club feel and the other is light and bright with a mirrored side table and a soaking tub, because everyone knows the ladies like to soak. It's just so cliche. Obviously this can be changed, but where is a power lezbian in Hollywood going to find more of that chocolate brown marble?

According to the website set up by the listing agent, the walls of the entrance hall have been covered in Japanese silk-hemp. Which can be very convenient when you can't get through to your too dope dealer who's too bizzy with all the young Hollywood starvelets to make a house call. You can just smoke the wall paper.

Perhaps now that there is a baby O'Hurly, the couple prefer to live in a house that does not span three full floors of living space. Certainly chasing a small child up and down the stiars is good for keeping the nanny's weight down, but not so good if the baby takes a tumble. Or maybe they're just looking to cash in on the property.

Your Mama stands corrected on the dates Mister O'Hurley purchased this house...the records we accessed showed a purchase date of in 1990, however, multiple sources have confirmed what one of our lovely readers stated in the comments section that indeed Mister O'Hurley purchased the house only in December of 2004. The records we accessed did show a 1990 purchase date, but this is not an exact science children. We apologize for the error, we do strive to be accurate, but sometimes mistakes are made. Thanks to those who assisted in bringing the error to our attention.

Sources: People

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

boring

West Coastian said...

If it were my house, Lucinda would not only have to clean all those terlits but she'd have to dust out that damned tub too.

I'm a shower person so unless it can be turned into a planter, it's wasted space if I were to move in.

Other than that, I do like it.

Phoenix said...

Besides being surrounded on 3 sides by roadway, this home's lot size is the smallest on the street at 6,550 sq. ft. and neither the area nor house itself is walled or gated.

Even with the improvements, a number of which I'm not particularly fond of including the bathrooms Mama mentioned, I estimate this house is overpriced by at least $2.0 million. No thanks.

Phoenix said...

By the way Mama, I found information from 2 different sources that says this home last sold in 2001 for slightly more than $1.5 million here and here, although they also state that previous to that the home sold in 1990 for $2,400,000. Go figure.

Phoenix said...

Correction: only the 2nd link I provided goes back as far as 1990.

so_chic_darling said...

"smoke the wallpaper"Mama that's another gem that had me reaching for my pipe and my "pink Hawaiian".
Yes the listing says "Italian"but I bet you could show photos of this house to all 55 million Italians and every single one of them would say "American"There is nothing anywhere in Italy that looks quite as dreadful as this!

Jon said...

Sounds like I may be alone here, but I actually like this house. It seems bright, clean, and comfortable (except for that horrible "his" master bath.)

I say do a complete kitchen remodel (boring!) and demo that hideous bathroom, and I would be quite comfortable here.

Phoenix said...

If one of you real estate pros would be so kind, I'd like to know what "looking for a backup" means when it's stated on a home's listing page. Many thanks.

Anonymous said...

I love how bright the house is. I think it's lovely on the inside. And I'm not so sure what's "cliche" about a soaking tub.

Anonymous said...

Where's the Jack Black house you mention? You posted something a few months back about his having bought a BH house with a long curving driveway, but no details as to where. I wonder if it's the one I can see across Coldwater......

Anonymous said...

i like it except for the 3 levels & 9 toilets & i am surprised this guy has a wife.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing Jack Black's is 1735 Monte Cielo?

And there is something wrong (on Zillow anyway), they are listing this house as a 6500 s.f. lot but the house next door has a visibly smaller lot and zillow claims 9200s.f....

Anonymous said...

Looks like a Grand Hyatt in the Bahamas. Not saying thats a bad thing.

Anonymous said...

I actually quite like this house, except for the kitchen. I can't believe he's lived there since 1990, though. I don't even mind the "his" bathroom.

Anonymous said...

Brother, loads of misinformation on this. Listen up. Mr. O'Hurley purchased this property in December of 04 and not 1990. The escrow had many problems, due to the previous owner. The owner at that time had bought the place, never lived there and planned to re-model it and never came up with the money. It had all sorts of probems connected with it .It was all very complicated. The escrow closed finally and The O'Hurley's did not move into it til early April and the renovations, repairs, decoration and remodel began. It's an amazing property and the pics here do not even show a quarter of the rooms nor the guest house, the wine cellar and much much more. John was married in August of 2004 to his current wife and this was the home he purchased for them. He had a beautiful home that he was living in in the Hollywood Hills all during the 90's that he also "re-did". His plan is to purchase a place now with much more land out of the L.A. area to raise their child in. He is currently looking at property in Napa Valley. One piece of property that he has his eye on, has it's own private lake.

sugarhoneyicetea said...

I like how bright and airy the place feels. I would have to tear out the kitchen and that hideous brown bathroom. Everything else is rather nice.

Anonymous said...

According the LA County Assessor office this lot is 15,250 sq ft.

For whoever asked, a "back-up offer" means they have a buyer, but will take a back-up offer in case that one falls through.

Anonymous said...

I have been in the house and it is Beautiful. It has a wonderful guest house also.

It is not the best with the baby
with the different levels.
It is very tastefully remodeled.
Open and airy.