Wednesday, February 27, 2008

UPDATE: Michael Jackson

Oh lawhd have sweet mercy children because an unnamed Michael Jackson source is out yakking and spinning to all the press people that the gigantic loan that Fortress Investments holds on Neverland Ranch is being refinanced and the 2,600 acre property* will not be sold at auction on the steps of the Santa Barbara county courthouse on March 19.

Refinanced? Whhaaat? Do we smell that krazee talking Raymone Bain?

We have no doubt that Mister Jackson and his people are furiously spinning their rolodexes and working the phone lines looking for a lender damn fool enough to refinance a $24,000,000 loan secured against a property owned by a man who does not work, has no significant income, and who is leveraged plumb up to the top of his wig. Just who gives those kinds of loans anymore besides someone involved in organized crime? Seriously, who?

Now listen here all you Michael Jackson fans who are goin' to scream and yell about how the one time King of Pop earns big royalties from his recordings as well as income from his significant stake in the Sony/ATV music publishing catalog: Zip it! We do not want to hear your nonsense. The 25th anniversary release of Thriller isn't doing as well as hoped and a pop star with proper income does not squat with his three children and that Raymone Bain ladee in the big houses of rich friends or camp out in Las Vegas hotel suites comped by the hotel's generous owners. Get real.

Here's the thing children, whether The White Lady is able to get Neverland Ranch refinanced or sold by some other means, it's clear to anyone with eyeballs to read the writing on the wall, Michael Jackson's fat lady of real estate has done sung. Long ago.

Now then, Your Mama has done worn our fat fingers to the nubbins the last few days so we're off to mix a big pitcher of gin and tonics and drink ourself into a stupor while we watch all those lovable freakos on Project Runway. We suggest y'all do the same.

*Some reports say the property spreads over 2,900 acres.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sure, MJ, the little downstroke you did recently was odd, as if throwing good money after bad. Why bother? Spare me with this euphoric reeling via your spinners. It's too thin and too late to take seriously.

Oh, and tough break on Sony's inability to qualify your "new release" as chart worthy. What you sew so shall you reap, and I wish I didn't need to say that. Peter Pan, the grown ups have reached their limit.

Take care of your children. That should be the responsibility nearest to your heart. The rest is wasted energy.

Alessandra said...

Enjoy the big pitcher of g&ts, Mama! You deserve it. Please drink one for me. I'm in "training".

lil' gay boy said...

Somewhere along the line The White Lady has made a deal with The Black Devil.

Off to Project Runway . . .

Anonymous said...

MIZ ROSS, must have stepped in....... I WILL STOP BY HER HOUSE ON ST. IVES TOMMORROW AND SEE WHATS THE LATEST SCOOP OVER COFFEE

DailyCelebs.TV said...

That sucks, I wanted to buy it and make it a motocross track.

Babe Parish said...

Project Runway! now i know Mama is the coolest. Team Christian!
:P
BP

pudenda shenanigans said...

I was ROLLING laughing at this writeup. Thank you so much, Mama. We, your chillren, know you love us.

What a complete & utter train wreck he's made of his career. This Neverland stuff is incredible to me.

I respectfully submit a new nickname to add to the list: Sub Prime

aunt mary said...

Mama, your fingers are just flying over that keyboard this week putting out some fine writing. I do love your style! Put those dawgs up Mama and pour yourself a tall one.

popeye-the-sailor said...

he's gonna tour next year with the fam.

he's looking for something temporary until that welfare check comes in.

he's like some misbegotten poem that sylvia plath meant to write.

and she would've but gassed herself after making the kids breakfast and placing the bowls outside their bedroom doors as they slept.

thoughtful that way, she was!

lil' gay boy said...

Pudenda Shenanigans,

I vote you at the top of the list for all time best monikers.

Aunt Mary,

So nice to hear from you - pour yourself a tall one as well . . .

Popeye,

Too bad Virginia Woolfe beat Sylvia to the rocks-in-the-pocket way out; much as I loved her work, the head in the oven routine seemed just a tiny bit declasse . . . taking care of the kiddies was a nice touch, however.

pch said...

Is that the man's full name? And Queen Elizabeth's coat of arms? On the front gates? Now that's a snazzy idea. I'll have to remember it. Anyone know what the mural and the plaque are about?

Hi There said...

Dear LGB,

Please take this in the spirit of making a kind of peace it is intended.

I have finally figured out why I find your frequent commenting here so irritating. And I'm speaking only for myself here because I know there are plenty of others who also get their dander up about you and there are plenty of others who love your comments.

It's not that you don't offer an interesting take on things, because you do, even though I personally don't care about your "breeding."

It's that you typically feel compelled to comment back to and carry on conversations with almost every other commenter...Almost no one can comment here, ever, without you responding directly to them in some way.

This makes you BY FAR the dominating force (and de facto mediator) of just about every comment thread, a position that I am convinced you relish even though I am quite sure you will say that you don't. If you don't or didn't want that role as king of the comments section, you simply wouldn't comment so much. No one else does.

To be honest, I have no illusions that you will ever curb your commenting ways...you're WAY to entrenched in and enamored of your online life here to cut back...but I am hoping that my understanding of the situation will in fact lesson the irritation I feel about having to sift through, skip over and/or ignore so many of your comments.

So, in the immortalized words of Joel...Peace.

Anonymous said...

so lgb
what do you think? doze or not to doze the ranch?

Anonymous said...

so lgb
what do you think? doze or not to doze the ranch?

Anonymous said...

Hi There said...
Dear LGB,

Please take this in the spirit of making a kind of peace it is intended.

I have finally figured out why I find your frequent commenting here so irritating. And I'm speaking only for myself here because I know there are plenty of others who also get their dander up about you and there are plenty of others who love your comments.

It's not that you don't offer an interesting take on things, because you do, even though I personally don't care about your "breeding."

It's that you typically feel compelled to comment back to and carry on conversations with almost every other commenter...Almost no one can comment here, ever, without you responding directly to them in some way.

This makes you BY FAR the dominating force (and de facto mediator) of just about every comment thread, a position that I am convinced you relish even though I am quite sure you will say that you don't. If you don't or didn't want that role as king of the comments section, you simply wouldn't comment so much. No one else does.

To be honest, I have no illusions that you will ever curb your commenting ways...you're WAY to entrenched in and enamored of your online life here to cut back...but I am hoping that my understanding of the situation will in fact lesson the irritation I feel about having to sift through, skip over and/or ignore so many of your comments.

So, in the immortalized words of Joel...Peace.

February 28, 2008 5:13 AM

Maybe I find you IRRITATING!!!!
Has Mama has appointed you the "Official Comment Patrol Officer" of the blog and has Mama forgot to inform all of us of this fact?
I don't think so
In your dreams......
you know I don't say much here
but people like you annoy me
why don't you try being quiet?
oh yeah, peace out!

Anonymous said...

dear hi there,

Please take this as constructive. Your continual posts about LGB's posting habits are getting as annoying as you claim his posts are to you.

Perhaps you could try contributing to the conversation instead?

West Coastian said...

It's beyond me why the White Lady would even want to keep Neverland.

I doubt he/she will evah live there again, no? What's buried in the yard?

Anonymous said...

I like reading LGB's entries; he is merely participating and contributing, and I, for one, who routinely follow this blog, yet very rarely comment, would miss LGB very much, should he stop. Meanwhile, 'Hi There' is moderating comments...which is just annoying. And small.

Comments can be condensed too, by clicking the name, in a quiet and non-hateful manner.

Anonymous said...

Just Peace out Joel...Or Whoever you are. Will you please keep your LGB comments to yourself. I for one am tired of listening to you "Bitch". We all have the right to leave a comment. If you don't like the commenter just "Walk on Bye"....

Sorry Guys, His Bitching is getting annoying..

I do not think with all the history of the Neverland Ranch that the gloved one will be back. He is just hiding and waiting for it all to be over...
Sandlewood..

Hi There said...

Same to you above people...don't like MY comments, just "walk on by."

Like you, I'm allowed my opinion.

You all get tired of MY comments? Well, too bad, because I get sometimes tired of LGB's comments. Fair's fair.

And P.S. I didn't say I wanted LGB to go away, just to tone it back a little so other voices can come to he surface as well.

fairfield girl said...

anon 6:30
6:33
9:28
11:01
I agree! 100%

And as for the white lady
I'd like to her go away forever!
Just like some of the posts here.

Anonymous said...

"just to tone it back a little so other voices can come to he surface as well."

Dear "hi there",

Please follow YOUR own advice.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

This bunch needs a nap and a snapple.

Anonymous said...

Hi There: You fail to understnad that LGB's comments don't step on anyone, or breed the kind of negativity you seem to want to prevail over this. Mama's entries provoke discussion and someimes banter. Quit bringing it all down.

LAPD Tipster said...

Anon 1:00pm

Very well put.

Miss Representation said...

sorry folks, i'm with hi there on this one.

but as far as MJ goes...he dug his own grave. don't enjoy seeing him go down in flames but don't have much sympathy either.

lil' gay boy said...

Thanks all, such nice things to say!

Hi There, I don't know why I get up your nose, but apparently I do - some people are just destined not to like each other.

The sad truth is I don't mind you at all, or the things you say; you can be very funny and insightful at times, but it's obvious that is a feeling that will never be shared.

I think that's a shame; but there is is.

There's enough turmoil in the world - let's have some peace.

Hi There said...

one last post on this and them i'm done with this topic...i swear.

for the record, i have said on several occasions that i think lgb can be funny, insightful and informative and i have not said that i wanted him to stop posting.

it's not what he says that gets my goat, it's how much he says...however, it's my cross to bear, right?

that's a rhetorical question people.

caveman said...

you gurls need to get a room

Anonymous said...

a tub of mud... and a web cam.

lil' gay boy said...

Ew.

Anonymous said...

Did someone say "tub" and "mud"? Mmmmm....reminds me of the time LGB and I...oh wait he made me promise never to repeat that.

I'm free Sunday morning, so meet for me drinks and I'll tell you the whole sordid tale.

Peace
Joel

Anonymous said...

Yes...I do jest

Happy Friday!
Joel

lil' gay boy said...

Joel, Joel, Joel,

You promised!

No toys next time . . .

f said...

A tub of mud?
I dont think so
AS IF I would touch mud? A tub of mud makes it sound like...... a can of cheese.

klassy

bentley said...

My hungover, newly 36 year old brain thanks Mama so much for calling MJ The White Lady. I laugh every time I read it. It's really so very funny.

I also thank Anon 12:28 for the "nap and a Snapple comment." That, too, was really very funny.

Those are just the worst gates I have ever seen. The tackiness of it all actually makes me mad.

lil" gay boy said...

Bentley,

Don't they look like the entrance to a boy scout camp? Or the opening shot from "Halloween"?

Newly 36? Did someone have a birthday?

Congrats - enjoy it while you can; the ride downhill picks up speed surprisingly fast. Trust me. Gravity sucks, and it wins every time.

Take some Excedrin, not too much Gatorade (too much will actually dehydrate you), a mental health day from work (or "work from home"), and enjoy the blog; - a sinful luxury on a Friday afternoon.

Best wishes.

bentley said...

LGB! Thanks, dude. Luckily I work when I want to. I am definitely taking a mental health day.

Yes, they allude to the creepiness I feel lies beyond...

lil' gay boy said...

Bentley,

As I said once before, I fear they may find the shallow, unmarked graves of missing children.

Something very wrong went on behind those gates.

Mama is my hero said...

Mama, you are so right about all of this, and everything you blog about. Hope you and your 4 legged friends are enjoying your Friday. Drink some gin and tonics for me!!!!

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 6:16,

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner - I'm sure you understand why.

;-)

To doze or not to doze; that is the question.

Since The White Lady will never go back there, and the main house is of no particular distinction or historical value (other than a crime scene), and the rest of the estate is covered with what can only be described as wacky, unusable & impractical structures, I vote to doze it.

As I mentioned above, there may be a delicate matter involved, so it should be done with care. Perhaps develop the land with cluster housing, preserving shared open green spaces, and reasonably sized and priced domiciles.

California has more than it's share of multi-million dollar homes; why not construct the type of housing that The White Lady's fan's could afford?

Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

LGB,

The Santa Ynez Valley is an enclave of large ranches and vineyards belonging to the rich and famous. The last thing they are going to want in there is affordable housing.

You have to consider that this is over 100 miles outside of Los Angeles and about 30 miles northwest of Santa Barbara.

I think if he loses it, someone will demo everything off the land, subdivide into smaller "gentleman ranches" for wealthy weekenders and sell it off that way.