Saturday, February 16, 2008

Saturday Mish Mash

Sorry to disappoint kids, but Your Mama is a little worse for the wear this morning and we simply to not have the inner chutzpah and moxie to work up a full scale discussion of a single celebrity property. So we're gonna do like we did yesterday and give a few juicy niblets and tid bits that have recently come across our desk in the last 24 hours.
1.
CSI: Miami diva and brown skinned bombshell Khandi Alexander has but her khrib up behind the Chateau Marmont on the market for $4,495,000. The gravelly voiced actress with the big bazooms appears to have purchased the 4 story, 4,126 square foot house with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms in December of 2001 for $2,850,000.

Although the current listing does not provide any of us looky-loos with any pretty pictures to drool over (which is why we just have the sorry one above), it does indicate that the Woodshill Trail property was recently renovated, has 5 fireplaces, a gym, library, office, a 3 car garage, a swimming pool and spa as well as a "grassy side yard for dogs," which you know piqued Your Mama's interests being the sort that generally prefers the company of dogs over people. The property climbs down the slope with a big view right into the windows of celebrity hideaway Chateau Marmont and, natch, the house has the full complement of security one would expect from a ladee who well plays a coroner on T.V.

2.
More rumor and gossip spills into our inbox about the alleged sale of socialite and philanthropist Nancy Daly's monumental manse in Malee-boo. First we heard that is sold for $50,000,000 to some young hedge hog and his slim hipped wifey. Then we heard it was a done deal at $55,000,000. The latest information we get says, "Uh, no. It didn't happen at all."

All of our sources on this one, even if they are offering conflicting information, are very impressively connected, so we don't know who to believe. Well, actually we do. We think the place sold and all the other stuff is smoke screen to deflect attention until real estate gossip Ruth Ryon can get her mitts on the real story. But until then it's all just rumor and gossip kids.

3.
In Touch Weekly reports that BenJen, AffGar, or whatever it is that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are called by the celebrity media machine, did indeed purchase the huge house in the Holmby Hills that Your Mama discussed in early February. The gossip glossy printed a big spread with full color photos of the property which carries a whopping asking price of $22,500,000. To be honest, Your Mama had no idea these two had that much paper and coin. GarFleck's people are not confirming, but one of the tawdry tab's inside sources is quoted as saying, "They have put in an offer that's been accepted and all is moving ahead." As of this morning, the listing still appears as active and available in the MLS. Hmm.

4.
A very well connected source we'll call Henry Happypants did a little digging into the nasty foreclosure brouhaha reportedly being faced by property developer Robert Bisno and his wifey Jeanette. If you're not hung over or still sotted with booze this early Saturday morning, you'll recall that we discussed the couple's big Bev Park house and how it is scheduled to be auctioned off on February 29th if they're not able to sort out and settle their mortgage mess.

Well kids, Mister Happypants said it's all much more murky than would appear on the surface. The property has been transerred back and forth between Mister and Missus Bisno several times, several loans have been taken out (and appear to have been paid) that were secured by the property, including the $4,000,000 loan by a private lender which apparently was not paid back and who is looking for its money and has initiated the foreclosure proceeedings.

It's certainly not a foregone conclusion that the Bisnos are going to lose their home. Rich people have all kinds of financial tricks in their arsenal and up their bespoke sleeves. None the less, according to Happypants, it's likely to get more confusing and dicey before it all gets cleared up.

And a correction: The Bisnos bought their Bev Park building lot in 1998 and completed their 11,984 square foot pile in 2002. In our previous discussion we erroneously reported that they bought and built in 2002. Sometimes we're wrong just like everyone else.

Now go on and enjoy your Saturday like you're supposed to be doing. See some art. Go to a movie. Have lunch in a divey diner. Love your loved ones. That's what we're going to do.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damn that Ruth Ryon!

What about Kelly Ripas old loft mama? I'm not sure what the new owner [2006[?] done to it but it looks terrible in the new Sothebys pics ... huge price increase also - as usual!

Anonymous said...

Ah,,,,Khandis house........ has a history, the woodshill houses were the bad investment that brought down the "NUMBERS" fortune..(once popular male escort rest and bar). owners of numbers built these three houses to "cash in" or "cashout" and retire, but bad timming ,real estate tanked and lost them.. but the house looks good now........

ms_wonderland said...

Poor Mama, feeling a little fragile this morning? Hope the good Dr is on hand with a nice cup of tea.

Are you sure thats a house and not an apartment block? Hid-ee-ous. Crammed in, no ground, and all held up by that retaining wall. One good quake, and it will all be tipped sideways into the street.

How does a house have five fireplaces and no chimneys?

lil' gay boy said...

Ms Wonderland,

It does indeed look like an apartment block but then with its pedigree I'd expect it to be less-than-LA-fabulous on the outside, given its proximity to the Marmont.

I can only imagine how much different it must be on the inside; Miss Khandi strikes me as a woman with some serious taste. I suspect the fireplaces might be gas, which would explain the absence of chimneys.

Would love to see the inside, though; there must be a virtual tour somewhere . . .

Feel better Mama - get Dr. Cooter to rub your feet.

so_chic_darling said...

Good advise Mama.I just yesterday went to see the new Broad collection at LACMA,don't let the review in the New York Times put you off,it's spectacular and a fantastic addition to the very vibrant LA art scene.
Please feel better soon,you have been in such fine writing form lately and I for one have been lapping it up.

Anonymous said...

thanks jason,

i just made mad cash.

now i can bail the Bisno's out


:)

so_chic_darling said...

Hey Jason you asshole if you want to advertise on this site pay for it.

lil' gay boy said...

So_Chic,

Thanks - did not want to say it myself for obvious reasons . . .

Always take the NY Times reviews with a grain of salt; after the plagiarism scandal the old cronies are back in charge.

How was the Broad collection?

Viva! said...

Khandi Alexander has always struck me as divalicious and a real bad ass.

I'm with LGB, she probably has some serious taste. And she probably got the house at a decent price so she'll make some money on the deal and if she's smart, which I think she is, she'll find herself a jewel box of a home in the flats of Beverly Hills or a stunner of a condo in Century City.

Anonymous said...

why are there no pictures ? or at least a virtual tour, do they think the celebrity status is going to sell it ? some folks never learn and it is way overpriced, according to zillow.....it is worth 2.8 MM and my formula (where real estate prices would really be at without the failing of subprime/interest only loan products that are taking our nations banks to the cleaners, even the governor of NY is on the news getting worried) so my formula says to take off another 50% so it is worth 1.4 MM tops.

Even with a bank loan, the payment, taxes, insurance would still be around 15k a month and who can afford that these days ???

Then again the crash still has not happened so I am sure one of her celebrity, mogul, or some other rich friend will buy it for 3.8 MM maybe even 4.2 MM but the prices in LA have dropped 20 percent so if she holds out, she could sell it for 3.6 MM plus the 1 percent comission realtors are forced to get these days which will be 36k so I am sure when it sells it will be reported that it sold for a little under 3.6 MM.

My guess because I do not have access to themlspro anymore, my broker went out of business and we all got laid off, is that she bought it for 800k in 2001 maybe even less so she will still come out ahead if she sells it for 3.6, way ahead.

Anonymous said...

What I meant to say is that if she cannot get any of her celeb friends, moguls ect to buy her place for 3.8 to 4.2 she still may be able to sell it on the open market for 3.6 (I am being very generous here) and that is IF it does not crash !!!! ....... why the market has not crashed yet is way beyond me, I mean over 80 percent of us realtors are out of a job and yet homes are still being sold...... something does not add up.........

oh well....

btw a payment on a 4.5 MM place would be 40k a month with insurance, taxes and you would have to make at least 900k a year to prove to the IRS and other agencies that you could afford to make a 40k a month payment. I suspect who ever buys it will be paying cash.....

average joe said...

anon 11:13pm

I know what you mean a friend of mine paid 160k cash for a ferrari at a dealership this year and got a letter from the IRS asking him how did he get the money (his business had a good year) and where the other 160k was that he was supposed to pay them.

He had to take the car back (He showed up there with a high priced attorney and he threatened to sue the dealership, they swore to him they would not report the cash transaction during the initial purchase which he had on tape.) and he will still have to pay the IRS 70k from the 160k that they know he had made come tax time.

Years ago, cash was king and you could pay cash for anything get a huge discount and no one would say anything , they would bury it in the books, but these days I found out from his experience that.....

A it is a good idea to have an accountant

B the account will tell you that anything over a $9999.99 purchase paid in cash, check, credit card will be reported to the IRS and the IRS will expect you to have at least half to pay them come tax time and if you have a business you have to pay them every 3 months.

I guess is that the person who buys that place if they pay 4.5 MM cash they will have to pay another 3MM to the IRS for taxes ? at least that is what his accountant says, which is why I continue to rent it is cheaper in the long run, maybe I do not own it but at least I will not end up with the big headaches that come with it and worse loss of freedom, frozen bank accounts.

When I was thinking about buying I hired my friends account and he said to me "If you really want to know what you can afford, take what you make per year and divide that by 3 then divide that by 12"

"The rule of thumb is for every 100k it is a 1000 a month payment with insurance and taxes" so I guess if I buy I can only afford to live in a shack in the hood in LA with my present job.

If I stay in LA and want to buy a home and stay out of trouble these are my choices.

Take acting classes and maybe get lucky at being a star and make $$$$$$

Pay 200k go to a business school get an MBA and make $$$$$$

Pay 100k, Learn software and maybe become the next bill gates and make $$$$$

This is a joke....

I guess I will continue to still rent and not worry about the american dream of ownership and continue to live in the lap of luxury.

Then again if the market goes back to 1995 prices I will be the first one in line with the cash to buy and I will still have the other half to pay the IRS come tax time.

Anonymous said...

Average Joe, that is the most stupid story you have told yet.

A) if your "friend" had a good year and had saved up 160k to pay cash for the car, wouldn't the income have already been reported? Investments, payroll income, etc. all are. All he would have had to do is show the income was already reported.

B) the only way the dealership could have possibly avoided reporting a cash transaction would have been to hold the cash in the premises and deposit in the bank in increments of less than 5k at a time. If they deposit more than 5k, they have to answer for where the money came from. I worked for a high end dealership in BH for 9 years and now this for fact. The dealer would be stupid to keep that cash laying around just to appease a client.

C) the simple fact that your "friend" would even ask them to do this would indicate a drug dealer or the like in which case he was asking them to launder money...also illegal.

Anonymous said...

Average Joe, that is the most stupid story you have told yet.

A) if your "friend" had a good year and had saved up 160k to pay cash for the car, wouldn't the income have already been reported? Investments, payroll income, etc. all are. All he would have had to do is show the income was already reported.

B) the only way the dealership could have possibly avoided reporting a cash transaction would have been to hold the cash in the premises and deposit in the bank in increments of less than 5k at a time. If they deposit more than 5k, they have to answer for where the money came from. I worked for a high end dealership in BH for 9 years and now this for fact. The dealer would be stupid to keep that cash laying around just to appease a client.

C) the simple fact that your "friend" would even ask them to do this would indicate a drug dealer or the like in which case he was asking them to launder money...also illegal.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention recording the conversation where one is asking the dealership to participate in tax evasion would be really dumb. Can you see that one going before a judge?

"Your honor, my client asked the dealership to help him defraud the US government and even though they said they would verbally, they didn't go through with breaking the law so now my client wants to sue them for damages. We have the audio tape of my client asking them to break the law, can we admit that as evidence?"

I imagine the judge would reply (after he was done laughing) "Meet Bubba, you'll be very happy as his butt buddy for the next 10 years"

average joe said...

anon

your a car salesman ? thats a laugh, I would not go around advertising it. If you owned a dealership ? now that is a different story.

Anonymous said...

Joe/Ed, your reading comprehension fails you too? Must be hard to even make that 7k a year. I never said I was a car salesman (I wasn't), and I also wrote in the past tense "worked". Start hitching back to *Phoenix*

average joe said...

anon you said you worked for a high end dealership for 9 years, what did you do get them coffee, wash their cars ? I know you were not the finance guy or a GM, so either you washed cars, got the staff coffee or sold cars.

Anonymous said...

Interesting about the alleged Affleck purchase of the Mapleton house. Affleck was seen at a construction site supposedly in the same area looking over a house under construction that looks a lot like the one on S. Mapleton. Actually, he's been seen on that construction site several times in the past. Here's the link with pics of the house:

http://www.viply.de/?p=4948

Polly said...

Average Joe,you are so stupid,if a person has a LEGAL 160K left over to buy a car they would NEVER pay cash they put it on an Amex card and get 160 thousand miles on an airline.What planet are you living on?

average joe said...

polly, I already apologized in another thread. I suffer from male PMS and was in pain. I really make $700/mo, live in my brother's attic in Cleavland, drive a classic yellow Yugo and work as a shoe salesman. My friend did try to buy a car but it was $160 down on a 1982 Ford Expo. They approved his credit at first then changed their mind when they found out his job reference was his mom. So he had to take the car back. It was a good thing because he really couldn't afford the $20/m payments for 7 years. I have to pretend to be an inportant person in a big city because otherwise my life has no meaning.

Anonymous said...

anon 7:59- The house you posted is only 2 houses down from the one Mama posted, at 219 S. Mapleton Drive. I'm pretty sure this is one of John Berci's projects, as well as the home behind it on Beverly Glen, which is for sure.

average joe said...

Hey Average Joe

February 18, 2008 11:10 AM

Why are you impersonating me ???????? get a life

DICK !!!

average joe said...

Polly why would you put 160k on an AMEX card ???? do you know what the interest on that would be ??? even if you paid it off in a month you would still have to pay around 2%, here we go again.....
go hire an accountant and he will explain it to you.......

AmEx Lover said...

Oh Average Joe. You're so cute.

But you must not have an AmEx.

I put about 15-20k on my card every month and pay it off every month.

I don't get any finance charges for doing that, but I do build up some nice frequent flyer miles that upgrade all my plane tix to first class.

Does anyone get charged 2% for their AmEx when they pay it off each month?

average joe said...

NO!! Don't listen to that other guy, I'm the real Average Joe!

The Lady at American Express said...

Our card holders HAVE to pay off the balance every month,that's what having an AMEX is all about!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Now "Average Joe" is "the lady at american express"??

It depends on what AMEX card you have. They still offer the *old* cards with an annual fee that have to be paid off. Mostly used by businesses. Most consumers have one of the newer AMEX cards (starting with the AMEX Optima in 1987) which allow carry a balance and in many cases have no annual fee. AMEX needed to compete with Visa/Mastercard/Discover so they started offering cards with similar terms to those.

Anonymous said...

No Amex Lover, I have a the AMEX Platinum co-branded with Costco, pay the balance every month (the grace period is 20 days) so no finance charges and no annual fee.

Anonymous said...

Lady at AMEX, do you want to lose your job ?? someone on here could call them up and complain about you giving advice on this site.

Anonymous said...

Find a dealer selling a new Ferrari for 160k and I'll buy two!

The F430 coupe *base* model is 180k IF you can find one. Dealers usually stock the 200k & up model.

The rest of the models are 250k and up.