RENTER: Matthew McConnaughey
LOCATION: Paradise Cove Road, Malibu, CA
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Did y'all know it is difficult to look up property records for mobile homes? Neither did Your Mama until we tried to locate some details on the Malee-boo mobile home that Matthew McConnaughey recently leased and came up empty handed in terms of how many square feet and the number of bedrooms and bathrooms.
Your Mama does not know if this man who has the over-developed and baby smooth body of a gay porn star is just a rich and famous dude who's keeping it real and does not require the trappings of wealth and fame, or if he's just plum outta his mind.
Ever since selling his trio of houses up in Nichols Canyon earlier this year, the curly headed exhibitionist has been living in a Malee-boo RV park in his gorgeous and sleek Airstream trailer. Now children, try to imagine driving the family in from Temecula or some other forsaken place, maneuvering the massive motor home into place only to find the rarely and barely dressed Mister McConnaughey stretching, arching, and otherwise making a spectacle of his obscenely hot body in the next camp site. Sure that's good if you're a coupla Queens from West Hollywood, but not so good if you've got suburban teenage daughters with braces who will go berserk at the site of Mister McConnaughey's pert nipples and rock hard thighs.
Rumor had it that his girlyfriend, Brazilian swim suit model Camilia Alves, was not interested in showering with the other campers in the public bathroom, and "insisted" Chesty to put down some more stable housing roots by suggesting they move into the Polaroid Beach House or some other place that's actually a house.
So what does the brainiac with the bad hair and body of death do? He leases a petite mobile home on the ocean side of Pacific Coast Highway that is just a few minutes walk from the surf. We're sure this place is nice as far as mobile homes go, but it is perhaps not exactly what Miz Alves had in mind. Your Mama imagines the ack-tor, who makes upwards of $8,000,000 (plus perks) per movie, is searching for more suitable ocean front digs to plant his bubble booty, but until then, Your Mama's sources say he'll be rubbing elbows with all the other mobile home dwellers in the park and no doubt getting them all hot and bothered with his nearly naked ways.
Sources: Pacific Coast News (photo), Cele-bitchy, Washington Post