Thursday, September 13, 2007

Matthew McConnaughey Moves To a Malibu Mobile Home

RENTER: Matthew McConnaughey
LOCATION: Paradise Cove Road, Malibu, CA

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Did y'all know it is difficult to look up property records for mobile homes? Neither did Your Mama until we tried to locate some details on the Malee-boo mobile home that Matthew McConnaughey recently leased and came up empty handed in terms of how many square feet and the number of bedrooms and bathrooms.

Your Mama does not know if this man who has the over-developed and baby smooth body of a gay porn star is just a rich and famous dude who's keeping it real and does not require the trappings of wealth and fame, or if he's just plum outta his mind.

Ever since selling his trio of houses up in Nichols Canyon earlier this year, the curly headed exhibitionist has been living in a Malee-boo RV park in his gorgeous and sleek Airstream trailer. Now children, try to imagine driving the family in from Temecula or some other forsaken place, maneuvering the massive motor home into place only to find the rarely and barely dressed Mister McConnaughey stretching, arching, and otherwise making a spectacle of his obscenely hot body in the next camp site. Sure that's good if you're a coupla Queens from West Hollywood, but not so good if you've got suburban teenage daughters with braces who will go berserk at the site of Mister McConnaughey's pert nipples and rock hard thighs.

Rumor had it that his girlyfriend, Brazilian swim suit model Camilia Alves, was not interested in showering with the other campers in the public bathroom, and "insisted" Chesty to put down some more stable housing roots by suggesting they move into the Polaroid Beach House or some other place that's actually a house.

So what does the brainiac with the bad hair and body of death do? He leases a petite mobile home on the ocean side of Pacific Coast Highway that is just a few minutes walk from the surf. We're sure this place is nice as far as mobile homes go, but it is perhaps not exactly what Miz Alves had in mind. Your Mama imagines the ack-tor, who makes upwards of $8,000,000 (plus perks) per movie, is searching for more suitable ocean front digs to plant his bubble booty, but until then, Your Mama's sources say he'll be rubbing elbows with all the other mobile home dwellers in the park and no doubt getting them all hot and bothered with his nearly naked ways.

Sources: Pacific Coast News (photo), Cele-bitchy, Washington Post

21 comments:

Little Miss Sunshine said...

Why am I not surprised that Mr. Matthew has done this? I think it's hysterical.

By the way, I've been to said motor home park many, many years ago. Some of the pads have the most amazing ocean views. Watched the "insert snooty name here" beach club 4th of July fireworks from the mobile home deck. It was awesome!

Anonymous said...

hmm i think we're watering down this motorpark. Look at the golf buggy parked out the front & the neighbours house and speakin of the neighbours house it ain't that shabby, damn i'm moving to thsi address and gettin me some postal code action & telling my friends i live in the same street as Matty!

pch said...

A good way to get easy access to the beach in a relaxed atmosphere, and not have to deal with running a big house. Plus, Paradise Cove has a little reverse snobbery going for it -- especially since everyone knows these mobile homes aren't cheap. (David Carter -- he specializes in Malibu mobile home parks -- has current listings between $329,000 and $1,175,000.)

Point of interest: There's a cafe down at Paradise Cove's beach -- Jim's mobile home was set up at the edge of the parking lot in Rockford Files.

Living in an Actual Trailer in Nowhere, AZ said...

Make that the 24-hour-guard-gated mobile home park. I've been here, too, and the place is anything but your average rusted-trailer pit of despair. On my visit, I attended the 4th of July party of a film writer and his realtor paramour who lived there. Once inside, you would never know the place was a "mobile home." Never. Of course, speaking in terms of real estate, I can't imagine why anyone would want to own the house/trailer but not the land (how insane is that, PALM SPRINGS?) so it's a good thing he's just renting.

nice gay decorator said...

Matthew I waited for over an hour for you at The Abbey the other night.You know I charge by the hour baby!

Cameron said...

Yeah, those "mobile homes" are not cheap, and are on a promontory overlooking the Pacific just above PCH. And given the fact that a basic 1200 sq ft beach shack (if those even still exist) will run you 3,000,000+ in Malibu, there's no real shame in putting some mobile roots at the beach.

Anonymous said...

Oh, my goodness, who cares about real estate when it comes to stunningly beautiful Matthew?

Why, that boy could live in a trailer park...

Anonymous said...

keeping it real vs. outta his mind?

this guy is bat shit crazy so my guess he is outta his gord.

Hippie Canyon said...

Its funny, just this morning I awoke from a dream in which Caveman turned out to be Matthew, and we did the big nasty in the back seat of his Tahoe. Digressions aside, this report does not surprise me in the least. The tequilla swigging, tooth-pick sucking, boyfriend hiding Matty is... Mad. Who in their right mind makes $8M per pix and lives in a mo-bile home? Rented at that! I would think his Chevy Tahoe has better storage. And I could care less that its a "park" that over looks the ocean, or that listings of similar mo-bile homes are for upwards of $1M. Big Deal! Its unfathomable that a man of such means would rent a mo-bile home, let alone buy one. Mo-bile units have their functions... studio dressing rooms, FEMA parking lots, construction site trick rooms, etc. Other than that, he would have to be nuts(to borrow my psychiatrist's often used expression) to rent it. Sweetie, why can't we live in a nice beach front apartment on Malibu Road?

Anonymous said...

I know for a fact that MMcC is into guys. Maybe he's not G-A-Y, but he likes to have trists with random men.

He was in NYC at a club (Bungalow 8 or Butter, I forget which) a year or 2 ago and brought a guy back to his hotel room, did some stuff, then RUDELY kicked the guy out promptly thereafter.

I have a friend who was with the group of coworkers who originally went out that night, only to watch the guy from their group leave with MMcC.

Not a snuggler or spooner, that one.

caveman said...

hey hippie, tell me more, & type slower.

Anonymous said...

Paradise Cove is more like a community of ocean view detached condominiums. Most of the "mobile" is long gone from the "mobile home" after years of modifications. At the same time, some people (I suspect including Matt) like to pretend to live the simple life in a "trailer" at the ocean.

Omar Cruz said...

These articles are fantastic; the information you show us is interesting for everybody and is really good written. It’s just great!! Do you want to know something more? Read it...: Great investment opportunity in Costa Rica: jaco beach real estate, map jaco beach, hotel in jaco beach costa rica. Visit us for more info at: http://www.jaco-bay.com/

Anonymous said...

Here we go ... Costa Rica real estate again!

anyway, i couldn't care less whether he lives in a mobile home or not but a few months ago he was in front of me at starbucks out at broad beach & he really needs a thorough shower - seriously!

Anonymous said...

Cannot wait for "when keeping it real goes bad."

Anonymous said...

I'll scrub his back (waving wildly)

Anonymous said...

I don't give a shit if this is Malibu. I think that the idea of the trailer parks being so close to pt dume is nuts. There are $20 million houses surrounding this...give the land back to the greedy wealthy Angelenos already.

I live in Malibu, and when I was looking for my place (which was a price point that some realtors laughed at) some of the places in my range were in this mobile park. I don't know what would be worse, living there, or Encino. By the way, I found a lovely home that is on the non-beach side of the PCH, just up the hill and my view is wondeemous. But, I will admit, it would be nice to be able to walk out to a beach.

Anonymous said...

I love the pics you post from Pacific Coast News, Mama, post more! Gimme gimme more!

pch said...

I like that Malibu still has friendly, unpretentious Paradise Cove.

The last thing Malibu needs are more poorly proportioned, 10,000-square-foot piles that look as if they were designed by contractors.

Anonymous said...

ew

Anonymous said...

Of all the wealthy enclaves on the California coast Iv'e seen (monterey penensula,la jolla-rancho santa fe,newport-laguna,palos verdes,hope ranch,monticito) Malibu is by far the least attractive and most overrated.