Wednesday, September 12, 2007

From Elizabeth Perkins to Soleil Moon Frye

SELLER: Elizabeth Perkins and Julio Macat
BUYER: Soleil Moon Frye and Jason Goldberg
LOCATION: S. Lucerne Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,200,000
SIZE: 4,082 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Look forward to seeing you at this renowned, gated 1918 Spanish w/ Moroccan artifacts throughout. This stunning 4 bed, 3.5 bath Windsor Square estate w/ pool + sep full guest house has many original details. Other features include 4 fireplaces, sun porch, court yard, balconies, outdoor BBQ sitting area & outdoor shower. Garage converted to play room w/ incredible guest house above + big yard & more–all on a great block walking distance to Larchmont.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Children, Your Mama know this transaction dates back to the stone ages of 2006, so this is O.L.D. old news for some of the children. So if y'all already know about this house or read celebrity real estate doyenne Ruth Ryon's write up on this property in her Hot Properties column in the LA Times way back in November of 2006, then just sit down and shut up. Your Mama is too bizzy and in no mood to mess with a bunch of whiners who want to gripe about old news.

We have decided to discuss this property for two reasons, the first of which is because Your Mama loves us some Elizabeth Perkins, the flame headed actress who masterfully plays the bitterly hostile and wonderfully acerbic Celia Hodes on the Showtime's Weeds program. The second reason is that Miz Ryon failed to mention a few additional celebrity connections regarding this Hancock Park house that Your Mama thinks the children might find inneresting.

Back in January of 1999, Miz Perkins was a single mommy actress who paid $1,175,000 for this 4,082 square foot Moroccan/Mediterranean mishmash in Hancock Park. What was not mentioned in Ms. Ryon's column at the time was that the actress purchased the property from the offbeat, talented, and once sexy Oscar nominated actor John Malkovich who, according to property records, purchased the property in 1991 for $1,025,000

Not long after the lovely Miz Perkins purchased the 4 bedroom 3.5 bathroom house, she married cinematographer Julio Macat (Home Alone 1, 2, and 3, The Nutty Professor, Wedding Crashers). Another interesting celebrity factoid not mentioned by Miz Ryon is that the Perkins/Macats sold the house in August of 2006 to former child actor Soleil Moon Frye, whom ya'll probably best remember as the cute as a button orphan Punky Brewster, and her huzband, Punk'd producer Jason Goldberg. Interestingly, the Boobster and Mister Goldberg paid $3,200,000 for the property, which was considerably more than the asking price which listing information shows was $2,895,000.

On a side note, the Boobster and Mister Goldberg had previously lived, and according to property records continue to own, a 3,300 square foot, 4 bedroom and 5 bathroom house on Hollyridge Drive in the Beachwood Canyon neighborhood. Sources tell Your Mama that the couple had recently leased the Hollyridge Drive house to P-Diddy baby mama Kim Porter. That is until, in the aftermath of their bust up, when sources tell Your Mama that she moved a luxe gated development in the suburban wilds of Calabasas. We are looking to confirm this because Calabasas, as nice as all the residents of Calabasas with say it is, seems like such a lackluster location for the Diddy heirs to be raised.

Anyhoo, the former Malkovich/Perkins home on S. Lucerne Boulevard, now home base for the Boobster and Mister Goldberg, sits in a tony section of Hancock Park just a few short walking distance blocks to the charming and small town style Larchmont Village shopping district. Your Mama knows that no fool even walks to the mail box in Los Angeles, let alone a few short blocks to the Café du Village for a bite to eat. However, Your Mama likes the idea of at least having the option to walk to the magazine shop for the daily paper even though we'd probably still drive our big BMW and then gleefully complain about parking difficulties.

We're not much for the British imperialist decor in the living and dining rooms. We bow down at the feet of Miz Perkins the actor, but we're not so laudatory of her interior design skills and hope she's rung up up a nice gay decorator to help her do up her current digs, which we understand are in Sherman Oaks.

Although Your Mama is a fan of quirky and interesting architecture, the front facade of this house looks a little too much like a lighthouse for our personal taste. We are, however, utterly and completely grooving on the Moroccan pissoirs with their white stucco walls, crazy shaped windows and gorgeous green and blue tile work, particularly the mosaic tile on the bathtub. Your can make fun of Your Mama all you want, but we LOVE a bidet. Most American think bidets are freaky and unnecessary, but Your Mama appreciates an apparatus that ensures that we stay clean and washed down there.

The pictures we have do not adequately show the magnificent oval swimming pool in the back yard or the detached guest house. All the children know by now that Your Mama loves a guest house almost as much as we love a gated driveway, and the Malkovich/Perkins/Frye house does not disappoint with it's guest house located on top of the garage at the rear of the property. According to the listing information, the garage itself has been converted to a "play room." Lawhd children, Your Mama would never sacrifice a garage for a "play room." Let the damn children play in their bedrooms for chrissakes.

Speaking of children, the Boobster and Mister Goldberg have recently birthed a child who they gave the questionable name of Poet. Your Mama wonders, what if she grows up to be a painter? Poet the painter? Hmm. Well, given that Your Mama is not a fan of other people's children, we really don't care what sort of name trauma Poet may suffer in her adolescence, but we imagine she's going to grow up to be an esoterically minded lady with a cat name Dolly and an advanced college degree from a good college on the Easten Seaboard.

Your Mama wishes both the Perkins/Macats and the Moon Frye/Goldbergs happy homes.

21 comments:

so_chic_darling said...

Wow Mama I feel like that was a screen play that I just read through.So much going on,so many interesting people in exotic locations,it's going to make millions!

Anonymous said...

I like the bathrooms but that faux cement sofa in the back yard is REALLY gross.

Anonymous said...

Wow...

so this is the "Punky/Punk'd" house.

Villa Punky Punk'd...

I kind of like it.

nice gay decorator said...

OK I'm going to say it.Moroccan is shit.It's so cheap and tacky.If Moroccan stuff is so stylish then how come you can buy it so cheap at the crap shop next to the futon shop?Rusty iron,nasty brass and bad quality ceramics,please!

Anonymous said...

Mama, Calabasas is actually a really nice, expensive neighborhood in which many celebrity's live, so it does not surprise me that P.Diddy's kids will grow up there. Calabasas is often refered to as the "beverly hills of the valley" so it comes at no surprise to me that they would live there. Although Beverly Hills/Hollywood is where i'd most likely expect these kids to be raised, i am not surprised. I actually really like the decorating of this house and thanks for all of the history on it mama! And by the way, when are you going to show your children more of the Leonard Ross home? Ive been to that house and it is absolutly breathtaking (although the pictures make it look ugly) :) have a great day mama

Linda Hoof said...

Who are you,do I know you?

Anonymous said...

Damn straight 9:31 anonymous. If Calabasas being lackluster means without the smog, traffic, paparazzi, spoiled brats with more money than they deserve, and ill mannered wanna-bees, then yeah, Calabasas is lackluster, and the celebrities and hangers on moving out here better remember it or they can move the hell back to where they came from.

westside call girl said...

I once had a john in Calabasas who was so fucking cheap I ended up short $50,and I broke my heel on his stupid mediterranean faux stone driveway!
Bunch of creeps!I should go back and ask his wife for the 50 bucks.

E.J. said...

Calabasas the "Beverly Hills of the Valley?" The rocks are nice but it seems as smoggy as the rest of the valley and is getting more crowded by the second. It's more "Ventura Blvd. West" than it is "Beverly Hills." With a tougher crowd... Not sure anyone would ever confuse Calabasas with Beverly Hills. Hell, Joey Buttafuco lives there.

westside call girl said...

All the girls know Joey Buttafuco is black listed!

westside call girl said...

I have tales to tell but I want a BIG advance check!

Layler said...

I can go for Moroccan accents, but this is very custom with the windows and turret outside... not that into it.

Where did Punky Brewster get $3MM+ for a house?!?! She's doing cartoon voice work now, and it can't be paying *that* well!

Anonymous said...

If you have that big of a bathroom, why not put the commode and bidet in a separate room? Or at least put up a half-wall. I just don't like doing my bidness...or seeing my honey doing his bidness...in a room the size of Dodger's stadium. Privacy! Privacy, please!

pch said...

Not a paragon of architectural achievement...but I like the facade for its Jazz Age exuberance.

Anonymous said...

Cute house, cute bathroom. The back terrace is overcrowded with stuff that must go. This seems a good house for a Soleil Moon Fry.

Anonymous said...

Where is the anon always whining about the crime rate in Hancock Park?

Must have gotten confused by the listing calling it Windsor Square -- which is part of Hancock Park.

Anonymous said...

Hancock Park is a very safe area compared with South Central, Koreatown or Rampart.

caveman said...

i agree about the toilet, why is is out in the open like that? its not a peice of artwork, sometimes designers suck. we have a big bath with enclosed crapper so dropping a duece doesn't monopolize the whole room.
sometimes a little common sense...

Celia Hodes said...

I've got cancer and jungle fever,and one of them's going to get cured tonight!

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Anonymous said...

I'm happy for your success always remember you as punky Brster.