Wednesday, December 3, 2008

UPDATE: Mark Wahlberg

During the first week of October Your Mama discussed the Beverly Hill (Post Office) compound of Oscar nominated actor and living in sin Catholic Mark Wahlberg that hit the market with an asking price of $15,900,000.

Well children, early this morning the lovely Ann Brenoff, who pens the Hot Properties column at the struggling L.A. Times, reported that Mister Wahlberg's 5 bedroom and 10.5 bathroom property on Oak Pass Road–which includes a detached guest house, a swimming pool with a Playboy Mansion style grotto, and a gigantic gymnasium with boxing ring–was in the process of being purchased–with cash–by a member of the Saudi Royal family for $14,000,000.

However, an amended and vague report now mysteriously reads simply, "an offer has been made by a Los Angeles business man but there is no finalized deal."

Hmm. Inneresting. Something's fishy. Guess we'll just have to sit tight and see how all this shakes out in the next couple of weeks.

41 comments:

average joe :[-) said...

But how could that be???

No one has cash!

I told you all so it must be true!!

Babe Parish said...

at first i was all, "how come i never knew his first name was Christian?" hahahahaa

14 mil with a 10 day escrow...lucky bastahd.

Anonymous said...

I just verified this was a false rumor, the house is still on the market.

Anonymous said...

Mark is Catholic Christian, not 'born again Christian'

Anonymous said...

You verified nothing you idiot.

average joe :[-) said...

born again christians are a bunch of whack jobs that belong in the mental ward along with the other fruits and nuts

they need to be banned from this planet, they are very dangerous with their god tactics, I personally had a few arrested and the cops smacked them around in jail when they tried to preach to me and my family at a party on an estate I was renting a few years ago........

they are either broke, on the verge of being broke, or they are taking money from their trusting flock ("wolves in sheeps clothing") remember that quote ?

:)

and for the record I never said no one had any cash

I said that the talk of the town in NY and LA is that if you wait, you can get 90% off your next real estate purchase

I suspect that you will see many more buyers backing out of contracts in the next few weeks as that talk is becoming widespread

average joe :[-) said...

and everyone I know is flush with cash, they have it stashed in banks they own so they will never have to worry about losing their money I can assure you.

I myself just bought a small local bank to store my money

:)

Anonymous said...

Another absurd pricing.Maybe 3 million at most-in the 90s this wouldnt have been more than 1.8 mil...looks cheap 80s and 90s style.Yeah you know when they are throwing around the famous 'rich sheik' story that times are tough.

Anonymous said...

Joe, you bought your bank, you silly? I got mine free with a toaster...

Anonymous said...

this is why the rich are backing out of their deals

James Odell Barnes, an investor in South Carolina, says he and a group of investor partners recently paid about $1.2 million for a bulk purchase of about 800 homes from Fannie Mae. That works out to about $1,500 apiece on average. A large share of the homes were in Detroit and other depressed Michigan cities; others were in cities including Indianapolis, Pittsburgh, Memphis, Tenn., and Toledo, Ohio. Mr. Barnes says he quickly resold for about $50,000 one of the Detroit homes purchased from Fannie for $1,800.

A Fannie Mae spokesman declined to comment, but the company has acknowledged an openness to considering bulk sales.

Seems like just yesterday a house in Detroit sold for only a dollar. Maybe home buyers should hold out a bit longer.

Anonymous said...

You people are all so stupid. Prices are going down, the market sucks, but not 90%, and if you think this house is worth $3mill your stupider than average joe.

Anonymous said...

Wow, very surprised to see. Good for him. While I don't agree with the previous commenters that this house is worth as little as $3mm, I also don't think it's worth the $15.9 or $14mm....

average joe :[-) said...

thank you anon (real estate agent who is still on the top ramin diet)

and to the other anon

yes I bought a real bank with a vault, customers backed by the fed in a small town for 2MM

a far better idea than keeping my millions in b of a or citygroup don't you think ?

Anonymous said...

I am going to call BS on Average Joe.

Me thinks someone likes to stoke their ego on the innerweb by pretending to be someone they are not.

It has been my experience that those with exceptional means tend to be more discreet.

But hey, what does this trillionaire know? As the largest shareholder of Bank of America, it must not be much.

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, Average Joe isn't the smartest one on the block, either.

If he is going to stash his money in the bank, it should be done using laddered CD's spread out over multiple banks. To avoid that pesky $250k ceiling on FDIC insurance, he'd have to get crafty with account titling. Of course, as a banker, he surely knows this. If he doesn't, then I feel sorry for the depositors!

Unless his supposed bank has zero outstanding loans (which would create its own set of problems), his money would be no safer there than at BofA or Citi. In fact, it could bite him in the ass if he gets cocky and sloppy and doesn't properly structure his funds to be covered by FDIC.

Just my 0.02. Unlike Average Joe, I will not admit to possessing more than 0.02. Doing so would be plain tacky.

Never mind that he doesn't acknowledge the only real reason someone would actually want to own a bank.

Average Joe: Care to tell me the reason someone would even desire to own their own bank? Hint: It's not so that their money is protected...they can do that at any bank.

Hippie Canyon said...

Why I was just telling the duchess this morning, I said, just like this, I said: Duchy-poo, why don't we own a bank? You know, like them folks in Average Joe Alaska? And then Duchy-poo took her Versace coffee cup and through right at my head! Just missed me, but the poor cat was caught by surpise (she's always thinking nobody sees her resting atop the stack of beer crates in the corner). Anyways, while we were sitting in the Vet's office over on Beverly Blvd, I saw a copy of US magazine. Well was I ever taken aback. Right there -next to a picture of Lyndsay Lowen puking her guts out from the seat of a Porsche Targa - was a photo of Average Joe, walking briskly straight into the Bank of Joe! So, what with all that had just happened not 30 minutes earlier with that coffee cup, I took the magazine and hid it under my jacket. Seems that after the election, the last thing anyone wants to hear is anything that begins with the name JOE!

Anonymous said...

Hippie Canyon: Priceless! Thanks for the laugh. The Joe the Plumber reference really got a chuckle!

Just my 0.03! Whoa, my wealth is growing! I am going to buy a bank! Since I am remaining anonymous, I guess it will have to be in Switzerland or the Cayman's.

Actually, I have such a hard choice to make. Do I want it to be located near the chalet in the swiss alps or near my compound in little cayman? Of course, since I own so many buildings in Dubai, it may be most practical to locate it there. Then again, I do have that beautiful empty skyscraper in mid-town that I just purchased with cash. Perhaps I could install the headquarters there? My hedge fund is located in CT, but I do not want to concentrate all of my money in one state. Since GW is my uncle, getting a charter will be easy. If that doesn't work, my momma slept with Bill (he may even be my father -- there is no blue dress) and I could pursue that.

Well, my bird just landed on the pad outside. I have to get to the hanger and be wheels up in no more than 28 minutes, so I have to cut this short...

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:55 PM:

Bulk sales are nothing new. They've been around forever. Also, $1,500 for a house in Detroit is not surprising at all. You can get a decent house in a non-distressed sale for $30k.

If those numbers are true, it just means that Fannie wanted to get some things off the balance sheet before year-end. Since they are already going to have such a horrible year, it is better to pile the losses on '08 than to carry them into '09.

Bulk sales are an easy way to make money. It's no different than buying a lot from a liquidator. You're really not 100% sure what you're getting. You end up getting some real gems, some real duds and everything in between.

Secondly, a home selling for $1,500 in a bulk sale in Detroit does not have too much influence on ultra-luxury real estate, where the exchanges are often made by cash. Sure, over a prolonged period, it will influence high end real estate, but if you need a house today, you are going to buy a house today and not worry about a Fannie bulk sale.

caveman said...

you folks do know avg joe is 12, right?

Anonymous said...

IQ or age?

We better cut it out. Mama is going to make us turn the lights out (aka disable comments) if we keep it up!

Hippie Canyon has as unique of an imagination as Mama. For a brief second I wondered if they were one in the same. I'd love it if Mama engaged me like that (and in other ways).

Anonymous said...

I'd love it if Mama beat this shit out of Average Joe.

Anonymous said...

Don't you people watch the news? I think we ALL own banks now - along with insurance companies. Soon we'll own large auto manufacturing plants.

Funny though, I don't feel any richer than before these "purchases"

Anonymous said...

Average Joe, You better eat shit and fucking die!

Everyone who doesn't agree with you must be a real estate agent, you are so fucking stupid. Get something new to say. Better yet, shut the fuck up and go annoy a different blog.

You don't know shit, you aren't rich, you're just a dumb fucker.

carla in california said...

I've actually visited Mark Wahlberg's house on several occasions. It's a pretty big estate. The guest house was originally built for his mother, Alma, who lives there when in town. His brother Donnie (New Kids on the Block) stayed at the house for a week when things were very difficult at home with his then-wife, Kim. It's has a spectacular view of the city as well since it's up on a hill.

This was also the former home of Frank Mancuso, Jr..

BTW - you can't tell from the pictures, but on one side of the basketball court, there is a big four leaf clover painted along with the names of four towns within Boston where Mark and his brothers used to live and hang out. I can remember three: Dorchester, Southie and Savin Hill. I think the words "Irish Power" or something to that effect was painted over the four leaf clover too.

average joe :[-) said...

now why did I buy a bank ????

well............

for one since I own it I know that my management team is not going to get foolhardy and try to make millions overnight and lose our money


I have millions, about 20 to be exact from years of hard work and luck which has run out so I am going to keep it and stay content

if I kept it at b of a or citygroup it would vanish into thin air among the billions they already have and that is a scenario I did not want to go through, and yes I could put 100k (250k is still in the proposal stages at most banks) into each account at different banks however that would be 200 accounts and besides the bank sits on a nice piece of land and so I think it will be worth 2.5 MM by the time I sell it in a few years and besides, if 5 million folks are out of money, do you think the fdic will cover the other 40 MM ? why to you think the govt needed to get 750 billion approved so quickly ????

now even with 20 MM in truth I am a pauper compared to my colleagues and I do not own any real estate or jets but.......

at least I will still have that money in lets say 10 years plus another 2 MM or so from very very very conservative investments here at the bank while my colleagues will be millions in debt with no one to bail them out although they are sitting on at least 200 MM each as of this writing and believe it or not they are throwing it back into the market later on this week which I think is very retarded, but who am I to tell them what to do

I am just an average joe

:)

caveman said...

and your girlfriend is morgan fairchild, ya, thats the ticket...

Anonymous said...

If you do own a bank I suggest not writing to any client or investors using the word "citygroup" all that money will be pulled out in a new york minute.

avg joe said...

ah yes.....

citigroup (they gave this kid daniel sadek 400MM line of credit for his bad paper) no wonder they lost billions

okay so I misspelled it so what

I am from the old country


:{)

caveman said...

i googled avgjoe's bank, PPB,he lied, its actually a holding company with very limited membership. pink structure, sits on his dresser, & accepts deposits from his grammy & grandpa. aka, personal piggy bank.
he might be buying another branch, (which will be located on his bookshelf next to the boyslife magazine collection), due to the stepped up transfers from the now defunct mattress bank & lack of holding space in the original PPB.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:40 PM: Good catch on the "City" vs. "Citi." I was going to call him out on that, but figured I had already called him out on enough. I did use the proper spelling in an earlier post of mine hoping he'd catch on. Clearly, he didn't. You would think that during the due diligence stage he'd at least learn how to spell a competitors name. Guess not?

Joe, clearly you do not know much about banking. Yes, it would be multiple accounts if you put each into an FDIC insured amount, but there are banks that manage that for you. In fact, they setup the CD's at other institutions and provide you with a consolidated account statement. Besides, if in laddered CD's, it's not too hard to keep track of. You are not actively using those accounts. There would be no sense in holding cash and not structuring them into CD's unless you plan on spending all of your money in the immediate future.

Also, you never mentioned the REAL (and only) reason why someone would actually want to own a bank. HINT: Real estate holdings is not the reason. Also, I question the banks previous management in desiring to own a lot rather than lease the lot. There are so many tax advantages in leasing vs. owning at the corporate level. Even the largest corporations know this and usually lease their headquarters. For example, Lehman Brothers could have afforded to purchase the mid-town tower they were housed in, but financially, it made more sense to lease the building.

Also, as for the FDIC covering you. Yes, I do expect them to if the INSURANCE was extended to you. They have no legal right to pick and choose and so long as your accounts are titled legally (which is allowed to maximize protection) then they are going to cover you if the institution you have deposits at fails.

Also, the $250k is across the board with any FDIC insured institution. All banks pay a certain percentage of deposits for FDIC insurance and it's not a "pick and choose your plan" arrangement. There is one level of FDIC coverage and through 2009 (or 2010, I cannot remember which), any FDIC insured account is covered for up to $250k.

Nene and Greg from Real Housewives of Atlanta were just evicted from their 5000 SF house outside of Atlanta proper. Greg was supposedly a real estate investor, yet they rented their primary residence. You sound a lot like them. A "millionaire" with zero real estate holdings? Haven't you established residency in FL yet and purchased a large "primary residence" to shield yourself under the homestead laws in case you need to file bankruptcy? Just WHO is providing your financial advice? You may want to fire them.

As for FDIC needing to cover your money along with millions of other people. Guess what? If that keeps happening, the dollar is going to become so devalued that you are going to wish you had bricks of gold sitting in your vault.

So, did you pass the BS test? Hardly.

I'm tired. I could call you out on your bluff a lot more but will retire there.

Have fun in your pretend bank sitting on land that you think is going to be worth a certain amount even though we have no idea what the future holds for real estate (anyone who tells you they do is lying) and counting your pretend Monopoly money.

Thanks and drive through!

outsmoker said...

Markie is a hot smoker!

Anonymous said...

I like the old Markie Mark, the one grabbing his crotch in his Calvin Kleins boxer briefs. Mark Wharlberg, the older guy, not so much.

Then again, I like to trade them in by their 21st birthday...so I am biased.

My boyfriend of a year and a half, who I am madly in love with and do see myself spending the rest of my life with, is scared to death of his 21st birthday. He's a keeper though. I love him for reasons that are much more than skin deep.

Anonymous said...

no one cares anon 6:41 aka average joe

Anonymous said...

he's richer than rich.

must be making loads of cash from entourage

time to move to beverly park

happy jack said...

in case you did not know it

there are like 10 average joes

a few are rich, some are broke

but they are about one thing


THE SKY IS FALLING !!!!!!!!!!!

SitDownKaren said...

Saw hello to your mother for me. *LOL*

The Hollywood Mayor said...

This house is a nice family house although I don't like how it sits on the street. The pool is huge... the boxing gym (or tennis court if you wish) is nice and so is the guest house.

From the outside you would have no idea what a nice place this is... although the master is fairly dull. This is a $10M house to the right person.

Anonymous said...

You think Ann Brenoff is lovely? She's a terrible writer, and obviously couldn't care less about the houses. Seems much more interested in her own comments on celebs, which are written at about an 8th grade level.

StPaulSnowman said...

She is a source.........Mama must be sweet to any good source and we all will benefit.

average joe :[) said...

MY BANK IS NOT PINK!!!!!

YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID

I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!

MY BANK IS BABY BLUE WITH FLOWERS ON THE SIDES THAT MY MOMMY PAINTED RIGHT BEFORE SHE DROPPED ME OFF IN FRONT OF A FIRE STATION

Anonymous said...

Ann brehnoff needs to learn how to do her job she doesnt have good sources ..she speculates a lot again you cant blame her she is fresh meat to the biz,
she is immature