Friday, December 5, 2008

Entourage Creator Doug Ellin Selling Starter House

SELLER: Doug Ellin
LOCATION: N. Beverly Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $1,595,000
SIZE: 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Great Country English house on lower North Beverly Drive. This house is priced to sell. Over 3,200 sq. ft. Redone hardwood floors, beautiful master suite, 3 fireplaces, great outdoor entertainment space featuring gazebo, hot tub, bbq and fire pit.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This property may be listed as "priced to sell" and be in escrow with a solid buyer, but that does not change the fact that Your Mama thinks the "Country English" style house listed for sale by Entourage creator/writer/producer Doug Ellin for $1,595,000 is ass-uglee.

Property Records show Mister Ellin and his Missus Melissa picked up their 3,248 square foot faux-timber hot mess on N. Beverly Drive in June of 1998 for $810,000. Listing information shows the not particularly pretty Tudor style house includes 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Before all your Bev Hills types have a real estate hissy fit, let's just be clear that this house is in the Post Office and not in Beverly Hills proper.

Interior features include a living room with a vaulted ceiling, wood burning fireplace and a couple of zebra skin rugs which are probably the best thing about that room if you don't mind walking on dead animals. The dining features an oddly contemporary "chandelier" that is hung way, way, WAY too high and all dining room chairs with an, uhm, unusual spider web-like back. The black and white seat cushions, however, look promising.

The kitchen appears to have been renovated and includes a long breakfast bar and eating area with French doors that open to the large brick patio in the back yard. A decent sized living room has a behemoth brick wall with a fireplace as its focal point, but we can't see beyond the gigantic brown leather recliner. Listen children, we do not care how comfortable these recliners are, they have no place in a tastefully decorated house. The large master bedroom includes a sitting area, a third fireplace and, sauna or no sauna, a bathroom desperate to be done over by a smart architect and a nice gay decorator.

While we may not care for this house or the uninspired "day-core," we will note and grant with some sincerity that at least this house looks like actual people live in its rooms rather than like a sterile show house with a ball room sized entrance hall designed to impress the guests and the Chinese food delivery man.

Matters improve somewhat in the backyard where we find a large brick terrace, built in barbecue, hot tub, fire pit with a sunken and circular seating area and up the slope a wee bit sits a gazebo. Oh dear. We do like built in barbecues and the Dr. Cooter enjoys soaking his weary bones in a hot tub, but Your Mama hates gazebos almost as much as we dislike pot racks and beige bathtubs.

Property records show Mister and Missus Ellin have moved up in the real estate world by moving down to the Beverly Hills flats where records show they recently forked over six million smackers to purchase a 6,253 square foot house with six bedrooms and seven bathrooms.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yuck. This looks like suburban vomit. Mama, I'm sorry you had to look at pictures like these. EYE BLEACH! GET MAMA SOME EYE BLEACH!!!

Happy Friday hugs from Sunny in Denver

StPaulSnowman said...

"Great English Country House".................methinks not!

Anonymous said...

This is a very suburban looking house, which isn't a good thing in Beverly Hills. The up side is that suburban houses are usually pretty well suited for family living. I think it could be fixed up okay.

TonyV said...

Wow, this is a tear down if I ever saw one! Let's really hope they hire a NGD for the new house in the flats... Based on this house, they certainly need one.

Anonymous said...

This house looks like it belongs in trashy Long Island, or Putnam County, not Beverly Hills. I hope they have better luck with their next home.

lil' gay boy said...

"This house looks like it belongs in trashy Long Island…"

As a Long Island resident I must protest; we capitalize the "T" in "trashy."

Anonymous said...

The rooms are nice & large and well lit. The wood flooring is great. It also looks like the rooms flow nicely to each other.

Everything else is 'window dressing' which can be changed easily - even the exterior facade can be done without too much trouble.

carla in california said...

I like this house as a "starter" house. I don't believe it's as hideous as others claim. I think the DECOR leaves much to be desired, however.

As for the gazebo, I agree with Mama. Yuck! It's just seems so out of place.

Anonymous said...

Haha, good one with the T. Even though I said it, not all LI is trash. I like Garden City, but why is it 10 feet rom Hempstead? It looks like the Bronx from 1980.

Anonymous said...

What's this about paula abdul selling her house?

And tea leoni buying a 12.5M apt on the east side?

Need more info!!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe now they can afford to hire a decorator for their new house. One who will tell them to get rid of every last piece of ugly furniture they own. (Forgive me Lord for this terribly catty comment. Thank you).

Anonymous said...

Umm Putnam county NY is anything but trashy. People who like to show off do not live there. Putnam is horse country. That is a very waspy county. Long Isalnd, some of it is trashy so I'll agree with that.

Anonymous said...

I like the house for the price..

Anonymous said...

Oh come on Mama it aint all that bad, It reeks of suburbia and that awful rug in the living room needs to be curbside but it aint all that bad...

Anonymous said...

OMG this house is unbelievably bad. One of the previous posters said exactly what I was thinking, which was throw out every stick of furniture before moving down to the flats. Just put it all at the curb - somebody will take it.

I notice the "starter house" has a little "starter gate" to go with it. Perhaps the next house will have a full-grown one to keep prying eyes at bay...

Anonymous said...

Is this circa 1990 in Pasadena?

Oh wait, I've never been to the left coast. For some reason, when Pasadena is mentioned in Clueless, I envision this piece of hideous crap.

Although he may not be any good at decorating, he is a damn good show co-creator, even if it is just Mark Whalberg's prior life.

Anonymous said...

Mama, OK, I am now CONVINCED you are a closet Kardashian fan. Come on, you came out of the closet once and you can do it again. Admit it! You know you love nothing more than when they run Kimora, Denise and the K clan all together on a Sunday night. Oh wait, that may be me.

Speaking of Kimora. I have a rant. E hyped it as all new, but what they really meant is that they were re-running the previous season from Style Network. I waited in anticipation and was so let down when they did that.

How sad is it that all of my TV essentially revolves around E! (Chelsea Handler is my new Karen Walker), Bravo, A&E and Style?

Ohhh, back on topic:

You did not rip on their gazebo like you did here. :) In fact, you did not previously mention that you detest them almost as much as you detest pot racks and beige bathtubs!

Anonymous said...

Yes it is a starter house...........start by tearing it down!

Viva! said...

A tear down.

Jackie Collins bought a house not too unlike this one, also on North Beverly Drive, in the mid 1990s and leveled it, constructing an art deco style mini-mansion that is built around a stunning pool.

That being said, her house is on the 'right' side of North Beverly Drive on a MUCH larger lot.

But with a good architect and some thought, the area is pretty nice and the price isn't outrageous, there are possibilities.

Anonymous said...

North Beverly Drive, just off of Coldwater Park is a fantastic location, with incredible bang for buck. This house, however is ug-lee!

lil' gay boy said...

"I like Garden City, but why is it 10 feet from Hempstead? It looks like the Bronx from 1980."

I won't even drive through Hempstead to get to Garden City. Sadly, I remember the days when going into Hempstead to shop at A&S had some cachet for middle class folks; but when the projects came in along with rent control, Hempstead quickly slid to the bottom of that slippery slope.

No wonder Garden City has its own police force. Snob that I am, I'll stick to the North Shore, thank you very much.

As for this hot mess of a starter, it may not be the Bronx in the '80s, but it's close to the Beverly Hills equivalent, I think. And what is that thing looming up from the trees behind it; a Catholic Charities Home For Unwed Teens?

Spooky.

StPaulSnowman said...

Mamasita........I am waiting on tenter hooks for your post on OJ Simpson's new digs. I am seeing stripes and maybe custom concrete in the galley kitchen.

Anonymous said...

You are utterly right on all the details, esp the animal rug (and how wonderfully you note it), but I think you miss a great skeleton. I see long lines in space, and open living, I'd start with the roof (maybe asian, maybe red tile, take a look at Reykjavik, and other places that have fun with roofs, and then reface the front, anything but horribly realized tudor). Love your column, thank you so much for pretty house fun.

Anonymous said...

it's funny that this house is much nicer than most of your homes yet you call call it a tear down.

Babe "Need Ambien" Parish said...

the front of the house reminds me of the Snow White ride at Disneyland. whoever buys this should just run with a pirate motif! bordello lamps, fuschia satin curtains, make everyone wear an eyepatch. the gazebo could be the ship!

let's play design remix here:

take that damn lamp out of the living room window

remove all fabric from l.r. and d.r. windows.

take the lil red sofa from the bedroom, swap it with the burgundy one in the living room and pair it up with the piano somewhere near those odd front windows. with the zebra rug and other black sofa, the red/black/color combo might be ok.

throw out the china cabinet(s!) in the dining room and turn the table 90 degrees. the color of the wood table n spidey chairs competes too much with the flooring. maybe move the buffet over by the window.

bed needs to face the fireplace, dresser goes over by empty wall to left of fireplace. fancy burgundy sofa placed strategically in bedroom facing tiny wicker ottoman...

ugh, nevermind... pull up a spidey chair and pass the mead! (or whatever pirates drink, ale, grog)

Anonymous said...

Wasps in Putnam County??? Really? Wasps have mullets?

Anonymous said...

How can this fucker be associate with Hilton & Hyland: I thought he's a theive, loves prositutes


Chad Rogers is one of the youngest and most high profile real estate agents in Hollywood. At the age of 18 he received his real estate license, but decided to further his education before beginning his career. He attended the University of Denver and received his BA in Business with a Minor in Finance. After graduation, he moved back to Los Angeles to further his passion for the "hunt"...the house hunt.

Anonymous said...

He cannot hold a candle to Josh Flagg.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:23:

Josh Flagg is a drunk and does not even begin to know how to present himself to clients.

If he is a REALTOR, I've watched him violate the code of ethics multiple times in episodes. Although I cannot recall for sure, I also believe there has been at least one time when he violated fair housing laws -- on TV!

I have seen him negotiate against his client multiple times in favor of the other party in the transaction in order to get the deal done.

As the say -- the faster and further they rise, the harder they call. Josh's ego and shady practices will lead to his ultimate failure. Luckily, when that happens, he'll just rub up against grandma for some money.

Anonymous said...

Typo correction:

As the say -- the faster and further they rise, the harder they fall*.

Anonymous said...

please write something new! i dont know what even possessed you to write about this shit hole of a house

Anonymous said...

yeah mama,

it's about fucken time you wrote about 2260 Sunset Plaza and tell us all if the place really did cost $30m to build back in the 1990's..

electronic said...

Oh i wish I had such wonderful house to live in.

Virginia Girl said...

For the life of me, I can't understand how anyone could hate a gazebo.

Anonymous said...

I actually like this gazebo it fits with the house.

average joe :[) said...

2260 didn't cost 300k to build.

GO START YOUR OWN F*KING BLOG!