Monday, December 1, 2008

Aaron Zelman Selling High Above Beachwood Canyon

SELLERS: Aaron Zelman and Cynthia Lamontagne
LOCATION: Deronda Drive. Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,999,999
SIZE: 2,936 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Exquisite private 1926 Beachwood Canyon Spanish home on rare 15,000+ sf double lot. Walled courtyard leads to rotunda entry w/ beautiful original tile floor. Living room features beamed ceiling, mahogany floors, fireplace & floor to ceiling windows that capture canyon, city & ocean views. Chef's kitchen, cozy media room & spacious master w/ Waterworks bath. 4 bed + exercise/bonus room with striking views. Patio featured in June '08 issue of InStyle magazine. Orchard like yard.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While flipping through all the lovely Los Angeles listings last week we sat up and took notice because not only do we get goosebumps over 1920s Spanish style houses in beautiful Beachwood Canyon we also recall recently flipping though magazines while bored stiff at some unfortunate gin and tonic free barbecue and seeing the pretty patio of this Deronda Drive house in InStyle magazine.

For some reason, we didn't bother to peep into the property records until this morning when we received a covert communique that pointed towards a celebrity person owning the house. We were told by our talkative tipster that the house is (or was) owned by actress Mary Stuart Masterson.

Well, as it turns out, Miz Stuart Masterson did own this house but property records show she sold it off in July of 2005 to another Tinseltown couple for $1,504,000. Records we accessed show the house is currently owned and being offered for sale at $1,999,999 by television producer Aaron Zelmon (Law & Order, Criminal Minds, Damages) and his bit part ack-tress wifey Cynthia Lamontagne (1 episode of Dharma & Greg, 2 episodes of Frasier, 6 episodes of That 70s Show and etc.). Do not even ask Your Mama how to pronounce that ladee's last name because we do not know.

Some of the more industry related children will already know that Mister Aaron Zelman is the brother of writer/producer Daniel Zelman (Damages) who is married to red-headed residual rich Will and Grace alum Debra Messing (who live in Bel Air).

Anyhoo, listing information and property records for the hillside property show the house was built in 1926, measures in at a modest 2,936 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms. It would appear that the house was built as part of the original Hollywoodland development.

A small courtyard at the front of the property leads guests to the rotunda entrance that features the original tile floor. We could do without the silly round table with the sunflowers. The beamed ceiling living room has a fireplace and a large arched window with glittery canyon views. The adjacent dining room, painted the same too yellow yellow as the living room leads to the renovated kitchen. Upon first glance we are quite impressed with the kitchen. We like the big Wolf brand range and the tile backsplash and we are appreciative that someone went through the trouble to paint the inside of the glass fronted cabinets, a lovely detail. However, we soon realize there is a pot rack hanging over the work island. A pot rack! We know many people like those things, but seriously folks, they can be very dangerous. Not only can ladees and gentleman alike get their weaves all stuck up in there, in an earthquake one of those things could easily brain you if it gets to swinging. Being taken out by your pot rack is not a very dignified way to die.

A small room has been converted into a a vaguely Moroccan style media room. While we do imagine that curving sofa is perfect for orgies and porn shoots, it's not really the most comfy looking sofa for settling in for a long night of reality television.

The master bedroom, all green and blue and tropical, has beautiful dark wood floors and a Waterworks bathroom with gorgeous green tile. Normally green isn't a good color for the bathroom because it makes the ladees look sickly when applying the make up, but we'll make an exception for this one because it appears to be especially well done. We particularly like the fold up bench in the shower where Your Mama could sit our lazy ass down after a vigorous body scrubbing.

Listing information indicates the down sloping lot is more than 15,000 square feet and the rear terraces have been did up and done over to function as outdoor living spaces. Not only is there a built in barbecue center for cooking up a side of beef, a narrow and tiled terrace has been outfitted with curving, cushioned benches and a beat up farm table with vibrant blue chairs. This isn't exactly what Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would do with this terrace, but we can imagine it's a lovely spot to smoke a doobie and get slowly and comfortably boozed up in the twilight hours with friends.

We haven't a clue why Mister Zelman and Miz LaMontagne would choose to sell this dee-lishus house, but they are and we wish them all the best as they move on to their next home. As for Miz Stuart Masterson, property records show that she and her new huzband have homes in both Brooklyn, NY and in a small upstate New York town called Stuyvesant.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

I remember doing a massive torpedo shape turd in the toliet when there was a small party. Everyone was looking at each other "who did it?

Anonymous said...

La-mon-tain.

StPaulSnowman said...

With someone like Anonymous 1:03 on the loose, how can Mama worry about pot rack trauma? It has been interesting over the past few months not to gasp at the prices when I scroll down through the hard data to get to Mama's wit droppings as fast as possible. Could it be that the tide of price correction is finally coming to the land of sun and fame?

Anonymous said...

How cool the sellers provided an original photograph of the home shortly after being built. Shame that the current-day photographer couldn't get the same angle.

Mama's Kiwi Kid said...

I believe that "Death by Pot Rack" would look better on a Coronial report than "Death by hideous vase containing a sunflower and fern arrangement".

A shade either way in the colour spectrum, and the pale green bathroom tiles could be puke-worthy, but they have nailed the tone perfectly.

bentley said...

OK, Mama, you gotta dish it on the pot racks. Bumped on the noggin as a young Mam-ette? Granny taken down by a Dutch Oven? Ugly, yes, but dangerous?

Besides the dining room being reminiscent of eating in an omelet, I dig this house.

Anonymous said...

Darling house. Lots of style for just $2MILL in a great area. Dining room is kinda' awful (looks like a very informal and uncomfortable breakfast room), but otherwise a yummy home.

StPaulSnowman said...

Mama......I'm with Bentley....fess up about the pot rack dread. I am betting your anxiety has more to do with some long ago bondage misadventure than bumping your head.

Anonymous said...

Mama, I'm sure your records are better than mine, but if I am not mistaken, it looks like Mary Stuart Masterson sold her State St. home in Brooklyn on 10/10/2008 for $1,305,000.

Anonymous said...

Very nice but I would tone down some of the colors and yes, the table w/sunflowers would have to go unless it was a family heirloom.

For 200k more, I'd like 3259 (in the next block) better. It also an original Hollywoodland (1927 designed by Carl Lindbom), is a little larger (3600s.f. 5/4), larger lot (18,000s.f.), and more important - has a pool. It probably would need a little updating to match the quality of the restoration of this one but then one could do it to personal taste.

lil' gay boy said...

"I can see the HOLLYWOOD sign over my garage!"

"We keep a toilet in the media room for convenience…"


The house is in the fucking street.

OK, sorry, just had to get that out.

It's a charming little place that's obviously been lovingly restored, with a somewhat riotous color scheme, great location & provenance. But then there's that pot rack…

*sigh*

Sometimes I just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

all due lgb, but sometimes i think YOU don't get it...have you ever been to these houses in the hills in LA? they're almost all right on the street the way this one is. there is absolutely NOTHING unusual or undesirable about it from the point of view of an angeleno who wants to live in the hills.

StPaulSnowman said...

Well, I am not an angelino but I doubt that being one would make me like the look of a front door I could pee from and reach the curb. LGB is absolutely right. The setting and siting should be a very important part of the whole package.

Anonymous said...

anon 5:25 is right. Most of the houses in the hills are on the street. There aren't even sidewalks in a lot of the neighborhoods.

Babe Parish said...

Sunflowers? Really???

This place needs La Wearstler, stat.
There is an overabundance of yellow and beige-y wood, which makes me queasy. I hate all the damn pillows in that den or whatever. Can you imagine the Daddy-Long-Legs creeping around in there? Too many pillows to move to vacuum. Feck that.

I do love the frontage, the bones of the living room, and the entry way as far as architecture blah blah blah, but whoever decorated that living room needs to be punched. It looks like one of my friends apartments in the 90s when they lived on Cloverdale or Formosa or one of those Fairfax-y streets.

Sorry I'm so crabby. My car broke down. :(...

lil' gay boy said...

Hello?

Anon 5:25, I did say I didn't get it (although in principle, I do). And yes, oddly enough, I was in the area just weeks ago.

I fully understand that, history & location aside, a view lot like this is much desired –– by some.

I, on the other hand, prefer the privacy that more land, with the house set well back from the street, affords. I'm not home all that much to enjoy the view, so peace & quiet are paramount to me, as are a front yard that gets mowed, not paved.

Even if it were a quiet, dead end street, which this is not, I can't help thinking that every car tootling by at faster than a snail's pace will surely rattle the windows (and my nerves), let alone the frightening prospect of having my house sideswiped…

Like 40 Beverly Park, it just is "not my cup of tea." But, unlike 40BP, full marks for making the most of a mid 20s gem that, in its heyday must have been quite different in its isolation.

Different lives, different priorities.

Anonymous said...

I'm just picturing Mama, wearing caftan and snood, leading a rag-tag team of veddy interesting weekend guests on a late night xanax mission through this house.

Serpentine! Serpentine! Serpentine through that dining room to the kitchen where everyone quietly edges past the perimeter counter top single file - like Charlie's Angels navigating a lava pit.

Oow, Geo F got distracted by something shiny! Away from the light, Geo F! Away from the light, Geo F! He's a goner!

Anonymous said...

I'm so torn on this house. I want to love it, but really I hate it.

Kath Day-Knight said...

Mama, so glad to have you back! "Being taken out by your pot rack......" I am still laughing at that one - inspired! I absolutely lurrvve this house. The bathroom tiles are a really cool shade of green/turqwaz and I would move in tomorrow and not change a thing. And to have that view of the Hollywood sign as you pull up the road, lovely! Thanks Mama!

StPaulSnowman said...

What's a snood?

lil' gay boy said...

Oh my goodness, Snowman… you can cite a green baize door but not know what a snood is? Please tell me you're being facetious.

StPaulSnowman said...

LGB.....in an attempt to avoid public humiliation, I looked it up. I have seen many lunch ladies wearing them but didn't know that is what it is called. The secondary definition was more interesting..........a loose fold of skin hanging down over.............

Babe Parish said...

LGB about the sideswiping...it's all fun n games until matthew perry takes out your front porch.

Babe Parish said...

p.s. do not dowmload internet explorer 8 people. it stinks. the comment form is so wonky. ugh.

Parker said...

I think this house is incedibly charming - to visit. I'm with lgb on living in a house that could get sideswiped. Last weekend, we were at a party nearby and I told my husband that I could never sleep soundly in a house in which I'd expect a car to crash into - or onto - at any moment.

Anonymous said...

The kitchen and bath is quite nice. Pot racks can be eliminated easily. This house seems nice.

Anonymous said...

Beachwood
It appears the house went into escrow already. Not 100% sure, but pretty sure.