Monday, December 15, 2008

Jeff Lewis Is Still Flipping Out

SELLER: Jeff Lewis
LOCATION: N. Edgemont Street, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: sold for $1,300,000 (listed at $1,395,000)
SIZE: 2,553 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Beautifully renovated & gated 1930s Trad'l w/ 4 bds & 3 full bths laid out in ideal floor plan. Chef's kit w/ Viking s/s range, ample counter space & bkfst area. Lrg formal DR. LR w/ fp & direct access to the new pl, brick patios & yrd. Landscaped for privacy. Gorgeous master ste w/ walk-in closet & Carrara marble bth. Direct access from the 2-car garage. New HVAC, new roof, copper plumb, updated electric.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The house flipping bizness may be swirling down the proverbial terlit along with the stock market and he may be cat fighting with the celebrity neighbor of a house he's having a tough time flipping in Los Feliz, but lascivious lipped drama queen Jeff Lewis, star of the reality tee-vee train wreck Flipping Out, is still buying, renovating and flipping houses in Los Angeles. Or at least he's trying to.

Property records show the hissy fit prone house flipper purchased his latest residential rehab project in June of 2008 for an even million clams. Listing information and photos shows the 2,553 square foot "1930s Trad" (which was actually built in 1951 according to prop records) was given the classic Jeff Lewis make over before it was put hoisted back on the market a little over a month ago where it currently carries an asking price of $1,395,000 (reduced from its original asking price of $1,525,000).

The front door, elevated high above the street, requires that owners have strong ass muscles for carrying kids and groceries up a long flight of switchback stairs from the driveway, or be rich enough they can pay the house gurl (or house boy) a few extra pennies to do so. Listing information for the 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom residence indicates the large rectangular living room includes a wall of sliding windows that open to the rear terrace (nice) and, natch, a giant flat screen tee-vee hung over the wood burning fireplace, an omnipresent boob-toob trend that Your Mama is o-vah. We are just so damn tahrd of seeing a damn television mounted to walls in the kitchens and bathrooms and bedrooms and hallways and elevators and on and on and on. We like tee-vee as much if not more than anyone, but even Your Mama can take a crap without having to watch the damn boob-toob.

The decent sized dining room have been painted white, which we love, and includes a chintzy and glitzy faux-crystal chandelier which manages to create a delicious tension between the clean lined 1940s dining room chairs and the striped piece of contemporary "art" which actually looks like the sort of cheap decorative doo-dad we used to make in our university days out of cardboard and a bucket full of multi-colored tape.

The kitchen and breakfast area have been all did up and done over in bright white cabinets with glass fronts, Carrara marble counter tops and stainless steel appliances. While the appliances are higher grade, we find the cabinets with their arched openings to be a wee bit too traditional for our taste. However, we are luh-ving the honey bee tile floor with the dark band ringing the room. Honey bee tile always makes us happy even though it reminds our usually drunk friend Fiona Trambeau of some of the public restrooms she frequents.

The master bedroom has yet another flat screen tee-vee mounted to the wall (will that trend ever end?) and the master bath features more Carrara marble, dark cabinetry and a single sink vanity with frosted side light windows. As for the orchid sitting on the counter top? Pleeze. We beg of some big name decorator with solid ties to all the slick and influential design publications to declare orchids an unforgivably passé affection of day-core. The children will note the scale pushed under the cabinetry. Miss Lewis, who we've heard rumored is living in this house, must be conscious of keeping his hips slim and stomach flat, partick since they say television adds ten pounds. And what vain queen wants to look like he's got a fat ass? A bubble booty maybe, but a fat ass? Uhm, no.

The modestly sized rear yard has been landscaped for privacy and includes a good sized brick terrace for dining and spreading out the gossip glossies in the afternoon shade. A small rectangular swimming pool, a plunge pool really, with brick coping has been added along with a couple of brick islands where not particularly comfortable looking lounges have been placed.

Given that the credit markets are currently at a stand still and buyers of million dollar houses are hanging on to their savings accounts like never before, it remains to be seen what will become of Mister Lewis' up until now very successful mid-price house flipping enterprise. Whatever happens, we can't help it, we like Miss Lewis and his crazy ways and hope he keeps on keepin' on so we can have at least a few more seasons of Flipping Out to mortify and warm the cockles of our cold, dark heart.

41 comments:

Mama's Kiwi Kid said...

I'd want that vile, phallic refrigerator out of my pristine, virginal kitchen asap!

The stripey art in the dining room is quite stunning.

Alessandra said...

Is that a dumpster in the driveway or a gate? Call BFI for removal pronto, either way.

Yawn.

stpaulsnowman said...

Mama.......your last paragraph sums it up perfectly. This oddball is a real joy to watch and it would be sad indeed if he didn't resurface with his bioengineered sulk and mirrored forehead to delight us for at least one more season. When the temperatures drop below zero here, as they are now, it is fun to know that somewhere in sunny California.........Jeff Lewis is agonizing over where to put the pool.

Anonymous said...

Oh look! The kitchen subtlely screams it has a stainless steel appliance. That will sell this place for sure. Not.

stpaulsnowman said...

Mama, you are so right about the orchid thing. I would like to suggest the tried and true sweet potato rooting in a jar of water. There is such ethos in the skewered by toothpicks vibe.

Anonymous said...

Hhhhmmmm, slick but boring. I'm a fan of the finished products these guys usually flip, but this one is lacking, as if they just weren't feeling inspired ... Or, maybe Ryan, the gifted designer who usually makes the bulk of the design decision for Lewis' flips, didn't do the design work on this?
Either way, hope it sells, and hope to see more of their design work.

Anonymous said...

This one is definitely a low budget flip by Lewis standards. We'll probably hear the drama-ladden story of why he did it at all in the next season.

As for the celebrities-next-door part of the story, a peek at their IMDB listings make me think they are on about the *Z* list. "Ugly Betty Star"?? More like supporting cast member. The husband needs to spend some money on Burt's Hairclub For Men.

Anonymous said...

I think the house is charming and well done considering the price tag. I know you'll all go on that its over priced and this and that, truthfully we dont know the value of anything in this market until someone is willing to close a deal on it for whatever amount they do.

The kitchen is lack luster, cabinetry and refrigerator aren't in line with his trypcal look / quality. They both look cheap.

http://www.michael-mcnamara.com/edgemontstreet/slideshow/slideshowmls.html

Anonymous said...

The arched raised panel ktichen cabinetry looks super cheap, like midwestern spec house. The counters and scheme is good, just shoulda done a flat panel, shaker style look. I'm parcial to the ebonized kitchen in the first Valley Oak Dr house... it was beautiful

Leah said...

LOVE Jeff, but that is an ugly-ass house.

Hippie Canyon said...

Selling a house that requires the homeowner to hike up (or down) a flight of stairs is a very difficult sell indeed. Frankie Munoz's home on Wetherly is a good, recent example. I think its a gorgeous home on a fabulous street... but the main drawback is the 15-16 steps up to the front door. (Of course, the backyard that is more "terrace" than yard is another negative). It didn't sell, and was taken off market. Probably a pocket listing for now. Anyways, Jeff's kitchen... sucks. That 'fridge sticks out like a sore thumb, and right next to a sort-of island? Its a surprisingly bad decision such for a well seasoned, old, Botox injected Queen like Jeff. Not that there's anything wrong with being old/well seasoned/Botox injected/West Hollywood royalty. I'm just saying -

Well, may the various gods bless Jeff. I hope he comes back for a new season. Maybe he could re-hire that hot looking guy who got divorced while on the show! I say we merge Jeff Lewis' show with Million Dollar Listing, then have Mama as the host.

Anonymous said...

Hippie Canyon........brilliant program suggestion. Josh's granny can do the depends commercials.

Anonymous said...

This made my week, I love Jeff Lewis and hope the market picks back up for his sake, and ours.

carla in california said...

Love the bathroom (minus the scale) and wish the pool was longer.

Is it just me? Or is the house shown in the painting on the wall of the living room a self-portrait of the house up for sale? Minus the crappy gate and garage, of course. After all, it's supposed to be 'art'.

Anonymous said...

Please.. there are a gazillion exterior paint colors available and yet he picked 'bird shit beige' trimmed with 'baby shit brown' with 'cat crap' accents.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the show will eventually be called "Freaking Out"

Anonymous said...

anon 6:58, you read my mind
oh, and hippie canyon, bravo has just greenlit your show, stay tuned as they steal your idea

the catch: the real housewives of atlanta are the buyers...

it'll be called "black market"
yea, i said it


oh, and mama, i have always loved you, but we'll have to agree to disagree about the striped "art"

it's a rendering of the iconic paul smith stripes

and i happen lerv paul smith

starquisha said...

How. The. hhhhhellllll you supposed to watch that bedroom flat screen? Best have a longstanding account w/ a nice gay chiropractishoner to work that neck back into shape after lookin sideways at that show the horrible queen lets happen around his self...
Sorry, he really does not shine w/ sterling character nor indicate a very pure heart.( L.A. will do that to you)

lil' gay boy said...

Oh dear Snowman, don't you know? It's the west coast ––– it would have to be an avocado pit.

Well, he's finally done it; taken a ho hum house and turned it into, well, a ho. Could it be our little gay boy may be losing his touch? Or perhaps he just needs to get laid?!?

And Hippie dear, you are so right about the uphill hike, which from the street view in the listing, is hidden behind the tacky, got-no-place-in-this-neighborhood gate.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Jeff Lewis ain't a yardstick for nuthin' but crazy, bless his little gay heart.

Christopher Hain said...

Ugly outside, nice inside.

Coulda used some re-dressing of the exterior.

lil' gay boy said...

Mama, kan we kall it Kimmel's Kottage, just so we kan keep those damn Kardashians from kornering the marKet on Ks?

Anonymous said...

Sorry Mama, I didn't mean to make you cry, but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet....

Lewis is losin' his bubble but on this one. All that work to sell at 400k more. He can lose $$ cuz he get's paid to do the show, and he's got to flip houses no matter what the market or his real "success" at doing it. The house is bland and staged cheaper than a crate and barrel store. Actually, he would have done better to copy a Crate and Barrell store--richer colors, traditional.

The moulding on the walls in the square design--stupid. All that white in the kitchen boring. That little bump out cabinet by he fridgerator--stupid. The dining room color uglee, the table in the room too small. No heart, no soul. Would be better off as a traditional as it was than a bland modern. I'm not impressed with this guys homes. They look like good quality though, nice finish.

Mama's black sheep in WEHO.

Anonymous said...

Trying to flip houses in a steadily declining market (price will be lower tomorrow than today) doesn't seem very...er....bright, to me.

SitDownKaren said...

His lips make me think of off broadway actors.

stpaulsnowman said...

I love the guy but his lips make me think of the primate house.

Anonymous said...

This house is very boring, from the exterior to the interior.

Anonymous said...

What is it about flip houses that is so obvious? This one has that flip-house feel: As though all the finishes and other design choices were made with "we think this is what people want" in mind. Meaning, it doesn't have an authentic feel or look to it...like people living there created any kind of home. None of the color and finish choices really work together in a cohesive finished way. I would be more articulate about this if I weren't on day 2 of a migraine.

Viva! said...

This house has to feel like rock bottom for Jeff Lewis. It's so beneath his usual standard. That lame pool, that WHITE kitchen...the only thing that he has yet to fuck up is the bathroom, he always does those perfectly.

Those stairs, like this house, are a hard sell.

Fingers crossed for Jeff, I do genuinely like him and hope he does well.

Anonymous said...

There's got to be a story about this one. I'm guessing something to do with Jeff's father.

Babe Parish said...

zoila's uniform matches the kitchen perfectly. word on the street is lewis IS doing more shows and is laughing all the way to the bank. trust.

stpaulsnowman said...

Babe..........how can you tell he is laughing?

Anonymous said...

He gets an erection.

Anonymous said...

Curbed is reporting there is already an offer.

How's that sky holding up, Joe?

average joe :[) said...

WHATEVER ASSHOLE!

JUST BECUSE THAT BUYER CAN GET A LOAN DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING! ! !

MY BANK STILL SAYS THEY ARENT CLOSING ON MY LOAN SO THE MARKET IS IN BAD SHAPE

REMEMBER YOU HEARD IT FROM ME!

Fiddler said...

Sorry folks, but I'm going up on my soap box.

I'm not one to agree with the Av. Joe guy, but anyone who tells you that the real estate market in LA isn't suffering is just being foolish or optimistic.

Just because SOME houses are selling does not make a healthy market.

I don't know shit, but my "I watch the market like an insane person" opinion is that prices still have 10-20% to drop before things get good again.

And that's if things go okay with the economy, which most economists say is unlikely...not impossible, but unlikely at this point.

It's bad out there people. Face it. It's bad. It's not a "sky is falling" point of view, it's a "have you watched the news and faced reality" point of view.

It does not mean that million dollar houses are going to be 200k houses, but they just might go to 700k in LA.

Okay, you can skewer me now.

Anonymous said...

I don't think anyone has said the market is healthy? Did I miss that post?

But the constant broad statements from some people (Joe for one) about how NO ONE can get a loan funded, NO ONE can buy or sell a house, EVERYONE is going to have lines of credit cancelled and/or have loans called, all houses are going back to 20 year ago values…those are gross exaggerations. And I believe are just coming from the current trend to scapegoat – to find someone else to take responsibility for their dumb decisions and then stick a hand out for taxpayers to cover losses. People can’t do that when they invest in the stock market and they should be able to do it when they invest in any other get-rich-quick scheme.

Anonymous said...

It's about time Jeff Lewis stopped flippin houses and started packing fudge.

Anonymous said...

Guess who Miss Lewis is visiting in Palm Springs.....

Anonymous said...

Gay Aiken?

Emma P. said...

Does anyone know whether JL's house on Valley Oak sold?

TonyV said...

Wow, this place actually sold in January for 1.3! Good for Jeff!