Monday, January 28, 2008

Did Scott Baio Fake It?

WHO: Scott Baio
WHAT: an uglee 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom house
WHERE: Strawberry Drive, Encino, CA

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Although Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter will watch just about any reality television program that just about any television executive will dare to air, we confess to never having seen Scott Baio's little slice of reality T.V. called Scott Baio is 45...And Single.

However, Your Mama has been getting all sorts of emails wanting to know about an Encino property the program shows Mister Baio buying and moving in to. So not knowing a thing about Mister Baio other than his work on Happy Days, Charles in Charge and later on Arrested Development, we had to take to the internets to sort out the what's what.

Interestingly, it would seem from our wee bit of research, Mister Baio is not, nor was he single during the taping of the "reality" program. Yes, he was unmarried, but not single. He did not frequent meat market bars and try to date young Hollywood hussies. He tried to come to terms with whether he wanted to marry his ladee friend Renee, who he indeed married just after the birth of their baby Chachi.

Next we got on the horn to Lucy Spillerguts and Valley Dude and a few other contacts Your Mama has in the San Fernando Valley to see what we could suss out. What we found is that Mister Baio and his wifey, reportedly a former Playboy Playmate and erstwhile body double for Pammy Anderson and whose name is actually Peaches Renee Sloan, still occupy the 4,403 square foot house on Royal Oak Road in Encino that property records show Mister Baio purchased back in 1994 for $1,345,000. We can't tell you how we know this or we'd have to cut your tongue out and sliver you ears off, but Your Mama is quite certain the couple have not decamped from Mister Baio's single story, 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom, 1+ acre estate on Royal Oak Road to the uglee house (pictured above) squeezed onto a tiny triangular shaped lot on Strawberry Drive.

So what happened on the television show then? Apparently, the couple "bought" this crazy looking McMansion on Strawberry Drive in Encino and Mister Baio moaned and groaned about the big mortgage payments. But children, it appears they were just making television.

Your Mama has included a few pictures of the Strawberry Drive house the Mister and Missus Baio fake bought. But we're simply not up to digging our claws into the architectural aberration, partick because the Baio's don't live here and there are no records that (yet) indicate they purchased this or any other home as far as we know. Mister Big Time? Any thoughts?

This is certainly not the first time that reality shows have depicted something not real and it's not even the first the a reality program has indulged in real estate fakery. Remember when that kooky Kimora Lee Simmons pretended to buy a house different than the one she actually bought on her Life in the Fab Lane reality television publicity vehicle. And let's not forget when Missus David Beckham "lived" up in that big glass contemporary house on her reality special when in fact she and Sexy bought a $22,000,000 freshly built Bev Hills style Mediterranean.

P.S. With the help of a very resourceful cohort, Your Mama located an online listing for the Strawberry Drive house, which no longer appears to be active. The list price was $3,199,000 and Your Mama thinks it would be both unfathomable and inexcusable that Mister Baio would exchange his very private and gated home Royal Oak Road for this monstrosity that is pushed up to the very edges of the property.

52 comments:

Alessandra said...

What the hell is that structure that looks like an open air garage or a partially completed bomb shelter?

This monstrosity is horrible on every conceivable level. Burn it.

pch said...

I believe this is what happens when a contractor buys one of those architecture programs for his PC. And gets drunk while fiddling with the design. Can't wait to hear Flora's reaction to those, uh, columns.

caveman said...

i also heard that joanni doesn't really love chachi anymore.
i think she ended up with potsy.

lucy said...

Why do people build this shit?

Hi There said...

a blight on the landscape.

Was there nothing lovely available in their reality show budget?

Anonymous said...

Alessandra,

Look again. It's just a bad photo. The "structure" in the foreground is the outdoor kitchen. If you look at the photo below it you can see the proper scale.

bentley said...

Why can't people build elegant staircases anymore. It's a lost art. It pisses me off.

Anonymous said...

Nobody... and I mean nobody... in their right mind would swap Royal Oak Road for this travesty on Strawberry.

Hippie Canyon said...

You are absolutely right, PCH. IMO: This is what passes for grand architecture in Encino. Yes, there are many gorgeous houses there, but for every desirable house in Encino, there are four of these monstrosities. Actually, this house would be fabulous as a whore house just off the strip in Vegas or, say, a new wing on the Liberace museum. Then you could say, sure... that makes sense. Its what I expect. A colonial on crack.

Anonymous said...

Three million? Are they kidding? Who in their right mind pays $3M for that piece of visual vomit? What architect turns out that kind of house?

Anonymous said...

Hey 10:24. Seriously, there was no architect involved in this project. This was designed by a contractor with the help of the experts at Home Depot.

pch said...

^

Oops, forgot to identify myself.

Bigdaddyj said...

Funny, I watch this show with my wife, and the minute they "bought" the new house, I turned to her and said, "personally, I'd rather live in his old house..."..truly a monstrosity...and not even a unique one, looks suspiciously like another house that is on the market on beverly glen...

Flora said...

Dear PCH, I see nothing that could be accurately described as a column of any order. Perhaps you are referring to those tall piles of concrete blocks by the entrance? The less said about those, and indeed the rest of this property, the better. All that I see here, I shudder at. I feel I now have to go and lie down for a while, to recover some equanimity.

Molly Motormouth said...

i do watch the show, sadly and am relieved to know he didn't buy this mess. his other home is much nicer. this thing looks like one of the houses the Bluths built on Arrested Development, maybe chiachi was doing a shout out to his guest role on the show.

Alessandra said...

Anon9:18, thanks for the clarification. It's even worse knowing that it is an outdoor kitchen...can you imagine "entertaining" there? It would feel like you were on display at the Forum.

lil" gay boy said...

Alessandra, don't feel too bad; I too thought it was a bomb shelter.

Why has no one used that lovely word "shiteous" yet?

Is this the land of zeros? Zero lot line, zero curb appeal, zero taste, and most of all zero common sense?

Really, who or what would buy this hideousity? The Church of Scientology, perhaps, as their prison, charmingly referred to as the Rehabilitation Project Force, for those deemed a Suppressive Person Declare, their clever terminology for excommunication.

Miami Architect said...

What? 4,000+ sq ft for $1.3 mm? Positively cheap.

pch said...

Hey Miami. I think that price was from a transaction in the mid-90s. If I read Mama's PS correctly, this hot mess was on the market for $3.2 million.

Now for a question. Back in the day, you bought a house in the Valley because a) it was cheaper or b) you wanted a ranch. Neither really applies today. So unless you grew up in Studio City or Toluca Lake or Sherman Oaks or Encino, or you can't bear to commute over the hill to a studio, I'm wondering why someone would want to pay Westside money for a Valley house. Maybe this is me being a snob, but it's a totally sincere question, and I'd love to hear from pro-Valley types.

Anonymous said...

I swear that this is the house that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey lived in while they were filming that Newlyweds show. If not, it is nearly identical. Anyone else see the similarity?

Alessandra said...

I'm not a pro-Valley type. Unless you're talking Hidden Hills or parts of Calabasas and Thousand Oaks, where you have a ton of land, lots of privacy and a prestigious address. $3.2mm for a jumped up stink-ass mess of a house with no architectural merit is ridiculous. There are parts of Burbank and Glendale that are worth the $$ and certainly in the San Gabriel Valley, you've got LC-F, Pasadena, and San Marino.

You're not being a snob, pch. This Strawberry Dr. house proves that you can have more money than taste. To me, it looks like something that someone from a former Soviet Union country would like. Or something that Jessica Simpson would buy. It's beyond nouveau riche; it's nouveau gauche.

Anonymous said...

Looks like something Rosanne Barr would build after winning the lottery..... truly ghastly.

Anonymous said...

Looks like something Rosanne Barr would build after winning the lottery..... truly ghastly.

lil' gay boy said...

I'm with Alessandra - torch it.

caveman said...

"jumped up stink-ass mess of a house"


we have a winner

sandpiper said...

This looks like Saddam's hometown palace in Tikrit. Almost expect to see Marines rush in.

Bigdaddyj said...

In defense of the valley, I think there are parts of Encino where you can get some rather nice estates for a slight (not as good as it used to be) discount to the other side of the hills, but the rest of the valley?!? Fuggetaboutit...I also agree Hidden Hills is an exception to the rule as well...

lil' gay boy said...

"Oh my, there's another new brothel in the neighborhood . . . "

Will have to take your word for it that this "jumped up stink ass mess" is not representative of the housing market in the area in general.

That's what God created tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, and mudslides for.

lil' gay boy said...

Chilruns, at the risk of being repetitive, I'm reposting this from another string:

Goodbyeelitists, Daily Reader & others:

Don't go - I mean that sincerely.

This is all about fun; a ragtag group of individualists who feel passionately about real estate (and the other topics they comment on).

Sure, we run off the rails at times, but it all riffs off of Mama's clever commentary; she's removed inappropriate comments in the past. We consider ourselves her chilruns, and she lets us run wild and free, like any good parent.

I lurked for months on this site before my first post; when I saw how interesting the interaction between the regulars, and the anons, got, I jumped in to join the fun. It's not like it's an online college course you'll get credit for.

;-)

So,

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'"

So stick around for the fun; sure it's changed from what it started out as, but life is all about managing change; Mama's got a show in the works, and who knows where that will lead?

Stay, and contribute; you're obviously erudite and interesting.

Anonymous said...

Here's Nick & Jessica's house. It is in Calabasas. And apparently sold within days to the kid who played "Reese" on Malcom In The Middle.

http://www.luxist.com/2006/01/07/newlyweds-house-hits-the-market/

fairfield girl said...

I think the phots are not up to par.
At this price they could do much better job.

Shave said...

Re: Goodbyeelitlist; readers and others.

This is a very popular blog. Mama deserves the accolades for setting it up, getting the voice and tone soooooo right and then leaving it up to everyone to chime in.

Sometimes it's fascinating. But, inevitably, the cool kids seem to take over, and in a very real way, the comments section seems to have been co-opted, as can often happen with anonymous social networking sites, by a few very committed individuals.

These conversations often take on a very real life of their own, and like algae in a pond, can grow very rapidly and bring down the oxygen levels for us other life forms.

I noticed this for sure with the Desert Hot Springs PreFabulosity debacle - where there was a lot of entitled shiz thrown some poster's way until he stopped posting. And then everyone came together cooing at one another and validating their tastes, smarts, cleverness, what have you, and invited said poster to come back, but within certain parameters.

It wuz weird.

I say this as a long time reader, but not one who comments often.

Just the nature of things, i'm guessing.

Wendy said...

There's some people who comment just a little too much,I mean really children do you have to go on & on & on & on?
GIVE YOUR FINGERS A BREAK!

Voltron said...

I disagree about not being able to get "more house" for your money in the Valley anymore. The Encino Hills and Tarzana still have some tasteful and stylish homes for under 1.5 that would be impossible on the westsiiiide. If you're willing to make the trek, it's worth it.

voltron said...

The McMansion monstrosities popping up in the Valley and even some parts of the westside are beloved by Persian immigrants. It's different sensibilities...one I don't get....but hey, it is what it is.

Bigdaddyj said...

Yup, the old "persian palaces", they call them, they've been popping up around Los Angeles (first in the flats of Beverly Hills) since the early 80's, when the Shah fell and most of the moneyed elite left Iran for Los Angeles...and your right, it is a cultural thing, it's the taste of a different people and reflects the type of fortress-type homes/compounds you find in the wealthy areas of cities in many Middle Eastern countries...thT being said, if you ain't Persian, they are butt ugly, sorry!

sandpiper said...

I am so not loving it here lately.

Being honest, if a benign exchange is preferred, that crazy MLS gang was first out of the gates.

Dunno, could be an interesting behavioral science test to have two comment sections here: one for frivolous banter about real estate antics of the well-heeled; and a seperate place with more rigid response metrics for celeb real estate purists.

Sometimes the usual suspects here remind me a little of Seinfeld's last episode...future unknown but they're content to ridicule buttons.

I for one think this blog is special. Nobody's is standing over me with a chenille throw threatening to cut my air supply if I jump in with some relevant (and at times abstract) silliness. This is good clean fun. Life's too short! Let's play nice. Can we please? I would like that.

Sandlewood said...

Come on kids, I have been reading this fine blog for quite some time. I have commented a few times. I so LOVE Mama's descriptions, the photos and then the cantor of the other readers. Some I like and some I don't.

Why harp It's just for fun, enjoy the hair tossling. You can learn some interesting facts too, I love that part..

Sandlewood said...

Oh yea, what is that bunker garage thingie???? Is that automatic trash cans at the top left or those storage thingies you put on your car during a road trip??

Alessandra said...

I'm with you, Sandpiper. I don't like censorship, I don't like having to pare down my every thought to make it the most witty bon mot. I do like chatting about real estate and celebrities.

My suggestion to those who find the comment sections to be tedious is this: Don't read them or skip over the commenters whom you feel are too verbose.

Personally, I love the comments section, especially when it veers a little off topic or when it gets particularly educational. I try to keep my own comments on topic or politely reply to those who've responded to me, but I've got no beef with "inside" conversations between posters. YMMV.

Sandlewood, Anon9:18 answered re: the bunker. It's an outdoor kitchen.

caveman said...

evryone relax, until mama gives us our next well deserved beatdown, we're doing ok.
the folks who add a little extra are also the ones who seem to have the most knowledge, don't read at your own peril. we even have pch who, during his daily travels, stops at some properties to report extra.
keep in mind, this is porn, not an mls listing. just to give you rookies a heads up to skip my inane comments, but i'm not going anywhere until i get in sand's piper...now that was uncalled for.
where the hell is hunk & hippie anyway?

Voltron said...

why the hell is anyone complaining about this site or the comments being too risque??

Please, this is all for fun and escape. I assume all of us are Socal real estate junkies AND fans of the celeb scene. This is part MLS, part TMZ. This is one of my favorite new sites, and the comments only add to my enjoyment.

lil' gay boy said...

Being from the world of IT, I've been on the net since it began, back when I was chatting with South African UNIX geeks using a command line prompt.

It's growth has been beyond exponentially explosive, but one of the great things is that people of like minds will find each other in this vast net.

That's the charm of a blog; it attracts like-minded individuals who share a common sense of purpose, and invites anyone in to enjoy the fun with them.

So let's just have that fun that Mama so cleverly started; it's become a thing of beauty, and for those disappointed in the changes they've noticed, well then take Alessandra's advice and just scroll on by (but you don't know what you'll be missing!)

tippi hedren said...

mama, beat your chilrun!!

they deserve it.

especially that know it all, 24-7 lil gay boy.

but no need to touch Aunt Mary or So Chic ... they're delicate and corporal punishment would be lost on them.

Anonymous said...

I know the agent that had this house first.. he is one of the best in the area and didnt sell it... must be the house...

Voltron said...

So how would you rate the area of his current house in the Royal Oaks to the hills of Tarzana?

lil" gay boy said...

Tippi, I thought you were as dead as your career.

Beat me, yes beat me . . . I promise to be Mama's good lil' boy!

BTW, if I "know it all" I wouldn't be here, learning so much fascinating stuff from the likes of PCH, Sandpiper, Caveman, LAPD, So_Chic, Aunt Mary, et al.

Sanjay said...

So let's just have that fun that Mama so cleverly started.

Anonymous said...

I knew Baio didn't "buy" the house when I saw that the realtor sign on the show had a 555 phone # which is the prefix for fakes!

somebody'sMomma said...

Here is the active listing
http://www.strawberrydr.com/

Developer said...

No BS...Think this is the house I almost bought for a rehab. The house on Strawberry Lane was 4k feet, 17k foot lot with a pool all original mid- century, single story. Could have bought it for 1mm, inside deal. Passed on it, then a middle eastern buyer offered 1.175mm cash. This was back in 2004 - 2005.

I tastefully rehabbed another mid century in R Oaks 4000+ sq ft and it sat for a looooooong time. The locals just could not understand the house. Would have sold the first week in Malibu, Hollywood, Beverly Hills.....

Just goes to show what you have to do to sell a house to appeal to the buyers in certain neighborhoods.

How does the saying go...When in Rome do as the Romans:)

something like that just change the location and locals....

Anonymous said...

Did SB "really buy" it? : http://losangeles.blockshopper.com/property/2292011019/17162_strawberry_drive/

"Ali-Baba McMansions" : http://la.curbed.com/archives/design_shelter/mcmansions/