Wednesday, January 30, 2008

UPDATE: Micheal Jackson

By now, all the children know that Your Mama finds former super star turned tabloid train wreck Michael Jackson fully fascinating. Over the last few months we've frequently discussed his ongoing real estate saga regarding the possible foreclosure of the 2,700 acre Neverland Ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley. The ranch was scheduled to go into foreclosure on January 19, but all the gossips and tabloids have been curiously quiet on the subject. Except Mister Roger Friedman over at Fox News, who yesterday dished all the latest juicy dirt about the financially strapped and essentially homeless Mister Jackson.

According to Mister Friedman's sources, The White Lady's loyal and long time spokesperson, that poor ka-razy talkin' Raymone Bain, has been booted from the inner circle. Apparently she denies it, so who knows. But Your Mama called that one. We just knew that Mister Jackson would throw that ladee under the bus when the money ran out. Also out of the inner circle, according to Mister Friedman, is the children's long time nanny Grace, who may in fact only be sick and staying at her own dee-luxe condo in Las Vegas rather than at the Palms casino where The White Lady is currently holed up with his three white children.

Now here's the real estate stuff...According to Mister Friedman, The White Lady is out looking to spend a little bit of his recent cash infusion on a new house in Las Vegas. Which would be a good thing, because let's be honest, raising them three kids in a damn casino can only lead to tears and trauma. Las Vegas real estate is currently in the terlit, so The White Lady can prolly get himself a big ass home in a gated development at a good price. We just hope there's a staff room back behind the kitchen for that poor Miz Bain.

As for the once beloved Neverland Ranch, well, Mister Friedman's sources whispered to him that supermarket magnate Ron Burkle might have intervened and convinced the fine folks at Fortress (Mister Jackson's eager to be paid creditor on the $23,000,000 loan secured by Neverland Ranch) to provide an extension which would allow Mister Jackson to scramble a while longer looking for someone, anyone, to step in and help him refinance the debt.

Your Mama can't tell the children how we know this or we'd have to kill you, but we understand from a secret source that Mister Jackson's people are actively seeking an entity to step in and save the day. But here's what Your Mama really wants to know: Why doesn't billionaire Burkle just carry the loan on his rather large financial back? Twenty three million is pennies to him. What does Mister Burkle know that we don't?

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg, i just want to know EVERYTHING about this sutuation!

I didn't breathe once while reading that.

more, More, MORE!

Anonymous said...

^
situation bbs

pch said...

Does Michael Jackson ever actually pay anyone back? It seems like you only ever hear about how he's going to restructure his debt. Again. And again. And, why the hell not, again.

E.J. said...

Why does Burkle care at all? Maybe Mike's gonna' become a greeter at one of his supermarkets. This situation can best be described in a line from the cinema masterpiece Drop Dead Gorgeous: "He can't help it that he was born crazier than a shithouse rat!"

Alessandra said...

MJ has been living on borrowed time since the mid-1990's. Neverland is a huge asset and is worth far more than $23mm (though any buyer would have to do some serious exorcisms or cleansing rituals or just raze the place to rid it of the taint of secret rooms and all the crazy), so if a financier wanted to take on the debt, it wouldn't be a bad investment. So long as they had the cajones to call in the marker once MJ defaulted. Again.

The man is creep-pee. Vegas can have him.

Hippie Canyon said...

Its the Disney-on-crack architecture that would make anyone want to hire the nearest bulldozer (BTW great tag for someone:Bulldozer). Is the land worth that much? Maybe Oprah could buy it, tear down the house and build a rehab center for abused children. On the other hand, for those who don't buy into the notion of Karma (even in this such case), one could ignore the pleas for financial help and watch MJ's final crash & burn. I can hear Mr.Burns' voice over now, "Exxxx-cellent."

lucy said...

Sorry, Mama, but this mother of three sons can not abide MJ. He gives me the heebie-jeebies.

As for holding on to the property...if MJ is as hard up as he always seems to be, why doesn't he sell off the Neverland property and be done with the extensions and the defaults and all the rest.

lil' gay boy said...

My guess is Burkle didn't get to be a bazillionaire by taking on anyone's bad debt, let alone The White Lady's.

I pity those poor children of his - they haven't a hope in hell of growing up to have meaningful, substantive lives as long as they are stuck on this ugly rollercoaster ride with daddy.

Oh, and just for fun, kiddies, I've gotten as far in Tom Cruise's biography to find out why the Scientologists never went after him. After inviting him to the Gold Base to make their "sales pitch", he was invited to participate in one of their "detoxification" rituals - an overheated sauna.

The White Lady's face actually started to melt and they said adios . . .

sandpiper said...

My concern is for those children. Are they receiving education with quantifiable progress reported to the states and countries in which he gypsies them around? What about those little covered faces? That can't be healthy.
He ignored his limited fanbase for years, but suddenly ramps up (12/07) his dormant "official" website in attempt to generate pre-sale cash on the (LOL) scheduled re-releases and cautiously venued (if even real) concerts? I feel he must be leveraging on spec--that is--if he in deed lures a cash-cow backer on near-term bail out.

Such a tragic mess.

Anonymous said...

Vegas is no place to raise children, let alone a casino. Do these kids go to school? These kids deserve a decent education, one which they'll never get while trapped in the clutches of a mis-guided has-been.

Wrecking ball said...

So I still don't get it, why does he want to hang on to this place?

Secret kiddie porn stash?

lil' gay boy said...

I can't help thinking dark thoughts that perhaps there's something on the grounds that The White Lady doesn't want revealed . . .

I only pray that it's not the shallow graves of missing children.

God forgive me.

Alessandra said...

LGB...that thought never occurred to me but now that you mention it, the possibility doesn't sound that crazy. I don't even want to imagine what he did on that property, which is why my suggestion to raze it stands.

West Coastian said...

It's beyond me why anyone would lend him a red cent let alone millions. It's like a house of cards and it's time it all came tumblin' down.

so_chic_darling said...

Oh dear!

bentley said...

Oh dear, indeed. Help the kids.

Are they still wearing bags, shawls, balaclavas, etc... around in public? I feel school is the least of their worries.

What does the house actually look like? All I've seen is that strange Mr. Rogers train depot. Yeah, that's a train I want to board...

Sandpiper said...

Unveiled pics of MJ's children have just been taken for the first time. Step in the right direction MJ. They're lovely, and I say that as a parent.