SELLER: Kristen Kerr
LOCATION: Hayes Drive, Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Exquisite custom renovation on a prime tree-lined Carthy Circle St. Keyless entry & all nu dual glazed wndws & drs; Nu state-of-the-art kit w/ Terrazzo, custom cabinetry & all stainless; 24x24 hand selected Italian honed slate, cork and T&G flring; Hand selected Iranian marble in mstr ba; Pre0wired for all wireless & full audio/video sys; Cstm alarm; Nu plumb w/ tankless water htr, nu electr'l & nu HVAC w/ air purifier & built-in humidifier. Nu salt pool w/ raised spa w/ salt filtration system.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: I know children, we're really scraping the bottom of the celebrity barrel here, but they can't always be a-listers so sometimes Your Mama has to dip down into the deep morass of lesser known. Plus, Your Mama needs to start clearing out some of the information we have in our archives on properties owned by the lesser known celebrities who haunt the Hollywood casting offices and velvet rope hot spots like Villa where brighter stars and celebutards quickly and easily slip past the sourpuss door men while all the hope-to-be celebs linger out front like lost sheep.
One of the many slim hipped pretty faces that may (or may not) be on the way up the slippery ladder of fame is former moe-dell and rock star gurlfriend turned ackturuss Kristen Kerr. Now children, Your Mama had never actually heard of the pretty ladee either, but the big boobed brunette bombshell has had enough bit parts and small roles on enough television programs (Desire on MyNetworkTV, Dexter on Showtime) and enough films (Black Dahlia Movie, Inland Empire, Flight of the Living Dead) to have a resume on the Internet Movie Data Base. And, yippee for her pocketbook, it looks like she's got a few more cinematic tidbits headed to the big screen including a film called Strictly Sexual, which is apparently a comedy and not a pornographic film.
Miz Kerr and her husband, a talent manager of some sort, have recently listed their Carthay Circle residence with a $1,995,000 asking price. Property records reveal that Miz Kerr purchased the 2,022 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom ranch-like house in June of 2005 for $1,150,000. Listing information indicates all sorts of custom upgrades were made including Terrazzo counter tops on custom cabinetry in the kitchen, cork flooring, all sorts of pre-wiring for all sorts of electronic gizmos, new plumbing and a "nu" salt water swimming pool and spa. All good things that might appeal to a multi-million dollar buyer.
Here's the thing kids, Your Mama just doesn't have much to say about this house. We do appreciate that many of the services have been upgraded and we dig the salt water swimming pool, even if we don't care for it sitting at a cock-eyed angle in the yard. If those disturbingly diminutive Cheetah print chairs in front of the fireplace were hauled off to the dump, we'd would find the living room with it's fireplace, dual window exposure and happily haphazard collection of sofa cushions to be a nice place to settle in for a long night of reality television.
But otherwise, it's just a house. A house with out of scale windows, a strange motel-like courtyard out front, a bathroom so beige and boring it gives Your Mama the hives, and a dining room set that looks so much like the one Your Mama's dead granny had in her dining room that it gives us the shivers.
Your Mama prefers not to get into the state of the market all that much because that's not what this blog is about. However, we do worry about average sized and ordinary looking houses like Miz Kerr's that have two million dollar price tags. Because let's be honest, that's a lot of damn money to spend on anything and Your Mama genuinely wonders with furrowed brow if the once scorching and currently cooling Los Angeles real estate market can or will sustain such high prices for lack luster and common houses...even recently and decently renovated ones like this.
Only time will tell kids, but in the meantime, Your Mama wishes Miz Kerr the best of luck in getting her career off the ground and her house sold off at a price she can write home about.