Monday, January 1, 2007

Sharon and Phil's Former Love Nest

SELLER: Sharon Stone / Phil Bronstein
LOCATION: 25 Avenue North, San Francisco
PRICE: sale price, close to $15,000,000
SIZE: approx. 10,000 square feet, 5+ bedrooms, 8 full, 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Settle down children. We know all you real estate junkies out there already know this property sold a looong time ago. But babies, not everyone in the world has seen photos of the house OR the actual floor plans. So just relax. The listing agent for this property provided such an extensive description of the house and property, there is just no way we can include it entirely, so we're just gonna hit some of the highlights.

The house, built in 1908, was one of the first properties to be developed in the hyper-expensive Seacliff area of San Francisco. Seacliff boasts some of San Francisco's most dramatic and expansive views of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Marin Headlands and a long stretch of rugged shoreline. Like so many of the homes of rich and famous, this house was once inhabited by another rich and famous person. In this case, Mrs. Phoebe Hearst, mother of publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst.

Ms. Stone purchased this oceanfront property in 1998 for about $6,000,000 and moved her loony and glamorous ass in with that hunky, facially-haired husband of hers, newspaperman Phil Bronstein. Of course, they're famously dee-vorced now, but at one time, this house was where they let their love flow.

To be honest, Your Mama is often less than impressed with the homes of rich people--so much money, and too often, so little taste. But not with this house. Your Mama says the house is gor-gee-us from basement to rafters. Ms. Stone clearly made an excellent choice when she hired her gay decorator. Okay well, we don't really know if the decorator is a homosexual, but we are talking about San Francisco, right?

Anyhoo, we would like to direct all the children to the second floor to have a look-see at the master suite. Now, this is the way to live, right babies? Notice the fireplace in the bedroom area, the TWO deluxe dressing rooms with ocean views, and of course, TWO bathrooms. Please also take note there are no shared walls with any of the other bedrooms, so we're talking absolute privacy here.

Please also note the number of toilets in the house. You can not walk 10 feet or turn a corner in this house without running into another bathroom. If you live here, you need a girl whose only responsibility is to scrub down all those toilets. Not only do each of the bedrooms have their own private pooper, there are several additional, discreetly located powder rooms for those folks not lucky enough to have been invited to spend the night.

People can say what they want about Sharon Stone and her wacky ways. And they do. However, Your Mama would like all the children to note how casual, comfortable, and inviting this house looks. All those delicious, velvet covered down sofas and the big, cozy kitchen just make Your Mama soft in the head and weak in the knees. You know a house outfitted like this can not belong to some uptight bee-hatcha. No. Under all that lacquered Hollywood exterior of Ms. Stone, clearly beats the heart of a warm and fuzzy woman.

Also of note with this property is the die-rect access to Baker Beach, one of San Francisco's largest, sunniest, and busiest beaches. Most people think of San Francisco as being cold, damp and foggy. And it certainly can be. But, when the sun comes out, all the clothes come off here at Baker Beach. Yes hunnies, this beach has a large nudie area on the north end. A little advice for the nekkidly inclined male visitor to Baker Beach...the water is icy cold, so best to consider the shrinkage factor before dipping your toes.

Of course, Ms. Stone has long ago moved on and moved back to Beverly Hills where, apparently, she's not sure quite where she'd like to settle. She's purchased a spectacular home up in the hills, but for one reason or another has decided not to move in and has put it back on the market (see post titled "Sharon Stone Flips Out"). Wherever she finally lands, Your Mama has no doubt it will be a home of exquisite taste, style, and comfort.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And I have to leave a comment here, as well, Mama. I completely agree with "so much money, and too often, so little taste". I believe I would like this house very much. Tasteful and "gemütlich" (yes, I am German). I am not sure though if there is too much wood paneling making some rooms too dark ... but it is probably just fine.