Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli Moving On

SELLERS: Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli
LOCATION: Toluca Lake, CA
PRICE: $5,995,000
SIZE: 8,416 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: There are posh residential pockets all around Los Angeles, CA where rich and famous types are drawn like moths to a flame or, in tabloid terms, like Lindsay Lohan to a bottle of booze. (Oh, ouch.) One of those areas, due to its sleepy, affluent, and family friendly streets as well as its über close proximity to a number of the major studios, is Toluca Lake.

In addition to country music has been Billy Ray Cyrus and his superstar daughter Miley, tiny Toluca Lake is home to a long list of famous folks that include unlucky in love hack-tress Jennifer Love Hewitt, comedy king Steve Carell, Disney diva Ashley Tisdale, former Beverly Hills 90210-er Jason Priestley, one of Sean Comb's several baby momma's, comedian George Lopez, and Will & Grace alum Eric McCormack. Although Hilary will soon be moving to the home she and her ice-hockey stud huzband Mike Comrie recently bought up in the the guard gated Summit community, the Duff sisters Hilary and Haylie have long called Toluca Lake home and the tween singing sensations the Jonas Brothers have lived in at least one leased house in the area including one formerly owned by Damon Wayans.

Your Mama assumes Hollywood hotshots will continue to flock to Toluca Lake for many years to come. However, the quiet and unassuming but star-studded streets of Toluca Lake may be soon have two fewer resident celebrities. That's because tee-vee stars Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli recently hoisted their colossal Colonial style mansion on the market with an asking price of $5,995,000.

Jennie Garth, as any of the children older than 30 know, became a household name in the 1990s when she appeared as wildly wealthy teenager Kelly Taylor on the original boob-toob juggernaut Beverly Hills 90210. She went on to recurring roles on The $treet, the moronic sitcom What I Like About You, the redux of Beverly Hills 90210, and the 5th season of that silly but enormously popular Dancing With the Stars program. Mister Facinelli, who was previously seen in Damages, Six Feet Under, Fastlane, and a long list of other programs and films Your Mama has never heard of, currently gives a pitch perfect performance as the vain, Tourette Syndrome affected, and boobie grabbing Dr. Fitch Cooper on the nearly flawless Nurse Jackie program. But the real money in the family certainly comes from Mister Facinelli's part of the Twilight vampire film franchise which has just about everyone involved making money faster than they can spend it.

These two tee-vee veterans met in the mid 1990s, started making babies before they were married in 2001 and, according to property records, purchased their their big house in Toluca Lake in January of 2005 for $2,850,000. Although the Garth/Facinelli residence has been greatly expanded and–some will surely say–remodeled almost beyond recognition, listing information indicates the bulky and sprawling house has a bit of a Tinseltown pedigree: The house was originally designed and built by the late, great architect Paul Williams in 1934 for country music legend Tex Ritter who raised his son, the late actor John Ritter of Three's Company fame, in the house.

The fully fenced, gated and secured residence measures a sizable 8,416 square feet, according to listing information, and includes 6 bedrooms and 7.5 poopers, a count that Your Mama is not sure includes the staff room and two-room guest suite in the basement. If we've said it once, we've said it 49,000 times. Rich people really ought to think twice about relegating their staff members to underground living accommodations. Unhappy staff members not only yak it up and spill secrets with the staff members of other famous people they sometimes share the family 411 with gossips such as Your Mama. 'Tis true buckaroos.

The multi-winged mansion has traditional white clapboard siding with black shutters and white rose bush lined brick bath that leads to the double height, columned portico where the shiny black front door is topped by a swoopy and classically Colonial style pediment. The front door opens into a long entrance gallery highlighted by one of Paul Williams' signature architectural statements, a graceful, crescent shaped staircase. Your Mama happens to like both Mister and Missus Garth/Facinelli quite a bit, but we'd be remiss in our bitchy duties if we didn't offer our utterly meaningless decorative two-cents about how the entrance gallery looks far too much like our pal Sheila Sinn's wealthy Republican mother's house in Toledo, OH for a young and attractive Hollywood family such as theirs.

The lower floor of the Garth/Facinelli mansion consists of a formal living room with ice blue walls so cold looking we put on a coat, fireplace, honey colored hardwood floors, a couple of faux-Louis arm chairs, a white, tufted divan that's far too small for the room, and–we regret to inform the decoratively sensitive children–a white baby grand piano tucked into the room's bay window. Oh lo-ward have mercy, say it isn't so. Listen chickens, unless you are Elvis Presley, Elton John, Lady Gaga or some old-school sweater queen who can throw shade like nobody's bizness, white grand pianos, particularly white baby grand pianos are a punishable offense.

Beyond the formal living room, through a couple of lovely, arched doorways, is a game room with milk chocolate brown walls, more honey colored hardwood flooring, a second fireplace, a pool table, a bubble gum dispenser, at least one pinball machine, and a six-seat poker table. Not being the "game room" type, there isn't a think in there that Your Mama would keep and we can't think of a single manner in which a damn pinball machine can be worked into tasteful day-core.

The chilly, ice blue color on the walls in the formal living room is repeated in the formal dining room where eight 1940s-ish leather wing back style dining chairs encircle a white and round dining room table. Somebody please tell Your Mama that is not a Lazy Susan settin' in the center of the table because a Lazy Susan is hardly acceptable on a the breakfast table in a country house let alone for a formal dining room in a well-dressed home.

Completing the first floor are a family room with a third fireplace and a wall mounted flat screen tee-vee, a breakfast room with side-lighted French doors that open into the backyard, and a gore-may kitchen with cream colored cabinets, mottled granite counter tops, more honey colored hardwood floors, a big mac-daddy Viking brand range. Sadly, Your Mama espies balloon valances over the windows–a pet peeve of ours even though we know many a gay decorator love them like the dickens–and, even more decoratively egregious, several porcelain rooster figurines, one on the large work island and a couple more atop the shelf above the stove. Can someone please explain to Your Mama what fascination folks have with putting rooster statues in kitchens? Your Mama's Big Daddy's third wife has more roosters in her kitchen then a damn egg farm and, have mercy, we just don't get it any more than we get all those people have have a predilection for pear paintings.

In addition to whatever number of family bedrooms there are, the upstairs features not just one but two master suites, one of which is comprised of a bed chamber, sitting room with a fourth fireplace, private balcony, dual walk in closets, and a safe room. Presumably this is a panic room and not a room where the Facinelli's keep their family jewels. Also upstairs, located in a separate wing, according to listing information, is a home fitness center with a number of body torture devices, a ballet barre and adjacent pooper, a media/play room for the kiddies, and dual offices, one for him one for her.

In addition to the garaging for 5 cars and the large motor court where the Garth/Facinelli family parks their bus sized recreational vehicle, the landscaped grounds include a covered porch on the main floor that curls around the back of the house, a snatch of perfectly coiffured lawn, manicured and meticulously maintained rose gardens, a pergola shaded dining terrace, outdoor kitchen/built-in barbecue area, a swimming pool and spa, an elevated pavilion behind the swimming pool that has an outdoor fireplace, and tucked up into a quiet corner of the property is a children's play area with swing set and celebrity style jungle gym.

According to several other sources, the Garth/Facinellis also own some sort of horse ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley area, near Santa Barbara, CA.


Madam Pince said...

I'm not a fan of Colonial architecture, Mama, but I do like that ice-blue paint. It'll look good in my renovated kitchen -- which, you'll be pleased to learn, features nary a rooster or pear. But those balloon valances are nothing but dust catchers.

Iffen I was rich enough to have live-in help -- and I can't foresee that day coming even if I win the Powerball -- I'd build a guest cottage for them.

lil' gay boy said...

Poor Paul Williams is definitely turning in his grave; just who is responsible for this DUH-school (Damned Ugly House) of architecture offense? It is so egregious as to warrant replacing the picket fence with crime scene tape.

My eyes are still bleeding from the listing photos ––– Nana had those same ice blue walls years ago but thankfully that house burned to the ground (a Pink Toyota was seen fleeing in a cloud of plaster dust). Nothing against the color, per se, but it's application here is a tad funereal.

I find the neon pink suite with the baby poop colored sofa AND a round bed (with a square duvet) is particularly upsetting ––– compared to this the white baby grand is a mere misdemeanor. Leaving little more than a vestigial Williams "bone" is more criminal than an outright teardown and in violation of custodial responsibility for a house of this provenance. Now Mama, two deep breaths, three nerve pills, five G&Ts and a count to ten ––– that's not a Lazy Susan, it's really a platter; yeah, that's it, a platter. On the bright side, there is no pot rack.


But Madam Pince could not be any wiser; in this price range a separate structure for the help is definitely in order ––– preferably across town with a politically-correct Toyota Prius for their commute.

candi speling said...

I like the grounds very much. Mr. Facinelli is cute....

StPaulSnowma said...

Mama........if it wasn't artistic licence, and you truly have not heard of, or seen, Six Feet Under, then get thee to your Netflix, Amazon or On Demand, and watch at least two episodes. I think it is one of the best things ever to grace the boob tube. Oh, by the way..........torch the play area and replicate Mrs. Vanderbilt's Teahouse.

Anonymous said...

Mama, it's a Lazy Sam, not a Lazy Susan. We don't tolerate no misogyny here in Trenton.

And Mama, we hope that you and the Dr. Cooter are enjoying your Brown Jordan. Outdoorsy seating floats our boats.

Veranda LaPorch &
Patty O. Furniture

StPaulSnowman said...

After reading LGB's comment, I surfed my way, (via his thoughtful link), to have a look for myself.......he was way too kind! I need a compazine suppository or at least a bucket.

Mama'sBoy said...

I stumbled on your column through Janet Charlton's site somehow about a year ago...I am totally hooked on it! Reading it from my phone at the Doctor's offc, etc--just love it! It's beyond dee-voon...

Post more--I can't get enough!!

Jumpin Jehosephat in LA said...

Oh well thank sweet Jesus these two are moving on! If'in I had to dodge that damn RV swinging it's corpulent posterior off of Talofa Ave and onto Riverside Dr, while minding my own bid'ness at the T.J.'s greengrocer, flour-sacking the usual frozen Shepherds Pie, Wild Mushroom & Truffle flatbread and a 5th of Bombay, just One. More. Time.... I swear I would have had to oil up my sweet little pearl-handled (suitable for both a cotillion and a hangin') and blown me out some Michelins. Say what you will, but that Mr Facinelli is a menace to street walkers, I mean pedestrians, everywhere!
I will, however, take back everything I just said, if they promise to take the invasion of Mockingbirds with them. Don't laugh, sugar peas, because once you walk a mile in our NuBucks listening to a thousand of these avian swine imitate car alarms all dang night long, ruining the quiet in our little Toluca Lake 'hood, you'll know.... Oh yes, you'll know.

Anonymous said...

Muffin said...

This house is very vanilla. Just like Jenny Garth.

Anonymous said...

I wish my insurance covered me for Doctor Coop's care.

Anonymous said...

Looking at the aerial, once can sort of see where the original Paul Williams designed home was before all the bloated character-less additions, garages and driveways were tacked on. What a shame, for it probably fit gracefully on its lot years ago. Oh, and I like the blue walls.

Unknown said...

The ranch in los olivos was owned by my uncle Salvador monroy loved it how it was before she bought it