Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Superman Nabs New Nest in the Bev Hills Post Office

BUYER: Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford
LOCATION: Beverly Hills (Post Office), CA
PRICE: $1,213,000
SIZE: 1,690 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: With a tip from those bizzy boys at Celebrity Address Aerial and an additional assist by our all-knowing informant Lucy Spillerguts, Your Mama sussed out that corn fed former model turned chisel chinned actor Brandon Routh and his actress wife Courtney Ford recently picked up a modest–if not exactly inexpensive–new nest in Beverly Hills, CA. Technically, the Routh's new residence is located in the Beverly Hills Post Office area and not in the city of Beverly Hills proper, a geographic and civic distinction of vital import to real estate snobs in the 90210.

Mister Routh, a man with a vigorously pumped up chest as smooth as a baby's boo-tox, is best known for his 2006 portrayal of Superman, a role that earned him heaps of fame but not so much in the way of continued professional success. Although he has appeared in a dozen or so films since squeezing his bulging body into Superman's delectably revealing, skin tight spandex body suit, the most notable post-Superman role for comely Mister Routh has been as the boy-beau of a gay porn star in Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Among a long list of one-time appearances on a number of boob-toob programs, Mister Routh's lovely wife Courtney's claim to Tinseltown fame is a recurring role on the 2009 season of critically acclaimed, serial killer cable program Dexter.

In January of 2010, according to property records, the pulchritudinous pair paid $1,213,000 to purchase a cutesy cottage in the Beverly Hills Post Office area of Los Angeles. Listing information for the rustic, "treehouse" like residence indicates the house sits high above the street on a .29 acre hillside lot. Property records reveal cottage-style house measures 1,690 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 2 poopers.

A long, white picket fence lined driveway curls up the hill towards the two car garage that sits under the main portion of the house. A flight of glut-busting steps winds up to a wide, covered front porch with flagstone flooring. The front door opens into a narrow entrance hall that in turn gives way to the living/dining room where there are dark stained parquet floors, a beamed ceiling, large brick fireplace flanked by built-in book shelves, a window seat, and a wall of French doors that open to the wide terrace the stretches across the front of the house and looks out into the surrounding tree tops.

Beyond the living/dining room is the family room where the previous owners hung a flat screen tee-vee on the wall and rust colored Roman shades over the multi-paned sash windows. The charm of the room's charming Dutch door–Your Mama loves us a Dutch door–is somewhat diminished by the disturbingly old-fashioned ceiling fan that Your Mama recommends Mister and Missus Routh replace, iffin they haven't already done so. The children will note that while the color of the hardwood floors stays nicely consistent throughout the house, there is an undeniable and jarring decorative disturbance where parquet flooring in living/dining room butts up agains the multi-width plank flooring in the family room. This sort of pairing of floor patterns is entirely unacceptable as far as Your Mama is concerned but, if if must be done, the two pattens must, under all circumstances be divide by a sill of some sort.

Because the cottage is tucked up in the hillside, only a slim brick paved space at the rear serves at the backyard proper. However, there are several other terraces and outdoor areas including a grassy spot around the side of the house just outside the kitchen and family room where a stone terrace and freestanding brick built barbecue makes for shady summertime grillin' and chillin'.

Perhaps Mister and Missus Routh could not afford more a more celebrity style crib or maybe, just maybe, we're starting to see a trend towards young Hollywood types wising up and buying more modest, more affordable, and more livable homes than they were in the mid-2000s when a damn houseplant could get a million dollar mortgage and it seemed like every reality tee-vee denizen and anyone with a minor role on a second rate sitcom was buying shockingly expensive, showy, and high maintenance homes.


Madam Pince said...

Mama, I've never been to LA so I don't know what the heat is like, but here in the South we depend on our ceiling fans to survive the summer. They may be ass-ugly, but they help us stay cool (along with our adult libations), so we've written them into our decorating rules.

The appliance nook in the kitchen is ... interesting. But like you, I'm glad to see some young Hollywood types not busting their bank accounts to buy soulless behemoths.

Jennifer North said...

"when a damn houseplant could get a million dollar mortgage"......Mama, I love you!

Viva! said...

What I like about this house is that maybe, just maybe, it was paid for with cash.

Well done to Mr. Routh and Ms. Ford. Nice to see two young Hollywood types buy something they can actually afford.

Anonymous said...

Love it. Shows that white paint can simplify, update and unify a space beautifully. Great choice!

Anonymous said...


Those houseplants still have their million dollar mortgages. They are the option-ARMs that start resetting en masse this Summer.

Round 2.


Anonymous said...

dear mama - the stairs are only glut busting if you're an out of shape beatch such as yourself.... time to hit the gym maybe? as for the ceiling fan, looks nice to me, and it's a wise method of lowering cooling costs and there's nothing old fashioned about it...

candi speling said...

I think it's tastefully done. I agree with Mama that Mr. Routh is attractive, as is his house. But isn't he (come on now---you know you're thinking it---kind of Boring)?

Note to Mama: I spent last week sunning myself at the Isle of Palms near Charleston and was without Web access. Gurl let me tell you I found out why they call it the low country! It's more like the down-low country!!! Anyway it's good to be back and I'm catching up on all the dirt you dished while I was frolicking on the beach and doing, ummm, other things.

lil' gay boy said...

"...come on now---you know you're thinking it---kind of Boring..."

He certainly set off my built-in bore-dar...


Anon 6:51, shame on you! Skating thisclose to a wooden spoon offense. Anyone who's seen our Mama knows she's in fine mettle; just displaying the appropriate amount of East Coast inertia.

StPaulSnowman said...

LGB may know otherwise but I suspect Mama is only a Spanx layer away from the dreaded midrift bulge. Gin and Tonic is not calorie free and dim sum is too tasty to pass up. She can fear climbing those stairs all she wants just as long as she keeps casting the pearls!