Monday, June 14, 2010

Glee's Matthew Morrison Gets New Digs

BUYER: Matthew Morrison
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,193,000
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday, while settin' out on our newly stained black back deck on our newly purchased, winter white Brown Jordon patio set, Your Mama received an unexpected but welcomed covert communique from the bizzy boys over at Celebrity Address Aerial who whispered in our big ol' ear that Broadway baby turned toothy television star Matthew Morrison and his six pack abs recently purchased a new pad in Los Angeles, CA.

Mister Morrison, who appeared on last night's 2010 Tony Awards program singing his little heart out, got his start in the bizness of show hoofin' it in a number of big Broadway musicals including Footloose, The Rocky Horror Show, and Hairspray. The talented triple threat received a Tony nomination for his 2005 role in The Light in the Piazza and just before donning his teacher duds for his starring and Golden Globe nominated role as Spanish teacher/show choir instructor Will Shuester on Glee–hands down the gayest show currently on the boob-toob–he appeared shirtless in yet another Broadway revival of South Pacific.

But it hasn't all been entertainment hearts and flowers for Mister Morrison who paid his dues in the early 2000s when he made the mistake of joining up with the hare brained boy band LMNT–that's pronounced "element" in case any of the children care–and in 2006 he made another professional bungle when he made a blessedly brief dash through the high camp soap story As the World Turns. All of which, it must be said, add up to make Mister Morrison seem a little light in the loafers. However, and although it ain't no body's bidness but his own, Mister Morrison would like folks to know that despite, his firm, gay porn star body, manicured chest hair, generously gelled coiffure, predilection for showgirl head dresses and jazz hands, and his love of singing show tunes and obvious talent for twinkle toeing it on stage, he is not a homosexual. Okaaay?

Anyhoo, let's get back to the real estate matter at hand. According to property records, in early March of 2010 Mister Morrison paid $1,193,000 to purchase a newly renovated residence in a somewhat out of the way and essentially unglamorous section of the Hollywood Hills. The charming and modest Monterey Colonial, built in 1941, sits down a long, gated and circular driveway on a property that encompasses 11 separate, itty-bitty lots that total over an acre. The nicely tucked away property should afford Mister Morrison all the privacy he wants and requires should he ever be inclined to garden in the nood or wash his car in a barely there, booty hugging bikini bathing suit. The traditional crisp, white brick and clapboard exterior is set off by deep forest green trim work. The bland landscaping is not doing the house any favors and Your Mama recommends Mister Morrison rip it all out and replace it with something a bit more xeriscape-y or desert appropriate because we think these Monterey Colonials looks so nice with spikey and cactus-y plants.

The front door opens directly into the "formal" living room that features tumbled stone tile flooring, white walls, and a brick fireplace flanked by some not particularly attractive built-in cabinets. Listing information indicates there is a dining room as well as a family room that Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota set it up as a family room with a big, stain hiding chocolate brown velvet sectional sofa. Beyond the family room and through a wide doorway, a bright, well-equipped kitchen has raised panel cabinetry–cream colored on the wall side, ebony on the island–white counter tops, vaulted and sky-lit ceiling with exposed beams, high grade appliances, a breakfast bar, and a series of long, narrow windows that wrap around the front of the house and look out on the motor court and detached two-car garage. The children will notice that at the peak of the vaulted ceiling someone has installed track lighting. Who does that? Who installs track lighting in a newly renovated house? Seriously, is this 1988? Your Mama expects Mister Morrison will request his nice, gay decorator to replace the track lighting with something more appropriate.

Upstairs, according to listing information, are two large bedrooms, each with chestnut colored hardwood flooring and each with a private pooper. One bedroom has a fireplace and both, as best as Your Mama can tell, open on to the narrow balcony that runs along the front of the second floor, a perfect place to greet the rising sun of the morning or to smoke a post-coital cigarette.

Additional amenities of Mister Morrison's modest if not inexpensive new nest include a powder pooper, indoor laundry facilities, central heat and air, a "bowling green" sized lawn at the front of the house and what appears to be an old-school built in barbecue in the small courtyard area between the garage and the house. And too, let's not forget that long, long, long driveway down which Mister Morrison can practice his shuffles, slides, spins and tap dancing moves.


Anonymous said...

I love Matt and I love Glee, and I think that the house is simple and beautiful.

Yuri-Alex Niso said...

I love the dark-stained floors! This is the second time today dark floors have been brought to my attention and clearly, attention must be paid.

Village said...

The land and the privacy ramp up the house. 11 parcels? Is that 4,000 sq ft per lot? Holy moly. That's hard to imagine. It's a cute house though. Note the enclosed garage on the left.

StPaulSnowman said... a bohunk from the heartland, I don't know what and enclosed garage is. Is that in contradistinction to a carport? I'm not being snide. We just couldn't live with garages that are not enclosed.......must be the snow.

Jeannified said...

Tha tcomment about a postcoidal cigarette almost made me spit out my Chinese noodles I am enjoying here at my desk! Love it!

Village said...

StPaul-An enclosed garage is a garage that has been converted from a garage to living space. 'Enclosed' refers to no more garage doors, a space that been taken into the house with a conversion to heated and cooled living space. It's the easiest and cheapest way to add square feet to a house because it already has a foundation, walls, and a roof.

But you are right, I did make an assumption. I assumed it was a garage to start with, and it just as well could have been a carport.

I've been corrected! I almost know how Your Mama feels.

StPaulSnowman said... haven't been corrected.......I have been enlightened. Garages here tend to stay garages, thank God. Architecturally, if it looks like it used to be something's tacky, as in..........a basement is always a basement, no matter how fine the conversion.

Anonymous said...

only onscreen is it the rocky horror picture show; when onstage it's simply the rocky horror show

Anonymous said...

Although this is a pretty funny write up, I can assure you the Matt is not gay, I've known him for a long time, he does dance, sing and is a broadway star, so it is hard to believe, but Matt likes the company of women only in the romantic sense.

Madam Pince said...

Mama, in that first picture, Mr. Morrison's new house looks like a low-budget no-tell motel in the heart of South Carolina.

Village said...

Madam Pince- HAHA -It does. And the millions of houses in South Carolina that have had their garages converted to living space. I grew up in one. But we were so poor, we only converted half of the two car garage.

Oh Mama said...

"indoor laundry facilities"? Which year is this listing from - 2010 or 1810?

Anonymous said...

what a little charmer, a very modest house which reflects Matt's persona,he may be a superstar now but the purchase shows that he still loves his anonymity to a certain degree. Good move. Im an Aussie and love this style of place! Good luck to you Matt!!!

ejaz14357 said...

We just couldn't live with garages that are not enclosed.......must be the snow.

anothermama said...

Matthew needs a place to recharge and relax so he can keep delivering those unforgettable Glee moments. This seems like a perfect spot. Glad he got it.

Dingman said...

lol My boyfriend and I looked at this house. We loved it! It is a very special property. Enjoy it Matt. If you need idea's on what you can do with it give us a call.

Very Jealous,
C&P-Laguna Beach