Saturday, April 4, 2009

Let's Talk About LuAnn De Lesseps

The other day, the people at Page Six reported that two of gals from The Real Housewives of New York City were selling their Hamptons hideaways. That same day we discussed the East Hampton house of Kelly Bensimon, the the newest and haughtiest of the housewives. However, no one seems to care much for or about the too tan Bensimon babe because we've been inundated with requests to know a little something about self-anointed etiquette expert Countess LuAnn de Lesseps' crib in Bridgehampton, NY that was rumored reported to be listed for $9,500,000.

Well children, y'all know Your Mama has a truly unhealthy obsession with all those unsettling hausfrau and spent an embarrassing amount of time scouring the interweb looking for a listing for the dee-vorcing de Lesseps digs. We regret to inform that we came up with nothing. Well, next to nothing. Although we have no reason to disbelieve the Page Six people, as far as we can figure, the de Lesseps do not currently have their house in the Hamptons on the open market.

What we did find, thanks to listing information provided to Your Mama by Heidi in the Hamptons, is evidence that the de Lesseps have previously attempted to sell their house on Highland Terrace at least three times. The first time was in the fall of 1998 when it was listed for $3,200,000. The second time was in the fall of 2000 when it was listed at $5,500,000 and the third time, which was not a charm, in January of 2007 when it was listed with an asking price of $9,500,000. Even thought the Page Six report about the de Lesseps currently trying to shed some real estate does not appear to be accurate, given their three prior tries and selling, it would certainly not be surprising if the house popped up on the market again.

Property records indicate the Count and Countess scooped up their 2+ acre parcel back in November of 1995 for $600,000. Listing information shows the 6,500 square foot (approx.) house was built in 1996, which would indicate the French aristocrat and his American Indian wifey who desperately wishes she were a French aristocrat, custom built their house. Property records show the house has 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, but listing information from 1997 shows 6 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms. Interestingly, 2 of the bedrooms and 1 of the bathrooms are located in the finished basement, which is most likely where they stick their charwoman Rosie. In addition to the sunken tennis court, which is oddly located in the front yard, there is a 20' x 40' heated gunite pool in the backyard and an adjacent pool house with a half bath and outdoor shower.

Oddly enough, Your Mama actually knows this house because Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter have a good friend whom we'll call Poodle who used to to lease a former chicken coop turned boho beach shack every summer that's just a around the corner from the de Lesseps' spread.

It is Your Mama's understanding that in New York City the de Lesseps bed down in a narrow townhouse on East 62nd Street on the wrong side of Lexington Avenue. We've also heard through the gossip grapevine–but can not confirm–the the de Lesseps townhouse is leased rather than owned, a suggestion that is somewhat supported by our inability to find any property records that show that particular arm of the de Lesseps family as owning any real estate in Manhattan.

52 comments:

StPaulSnowman said...

Way to go Mama. You were restrained in your discussion of the Fakristocrat and I would love to know all the wonderful things you edited out but would love to have written. The house must have cost millions to build with this asking price so the architect, contractors and designers must have really overcharged and done some fast talking to convince the owners that this is something special. I bet the boho shack has far more charm and character.

Anonymous said...

Lol, "the house must have cost millions to build. . ." Well, maybe!

Anonymous said...

what does "wrong side of Lexington Avenue" means?
sorry im not familiar with nyc, can anyone explain? thx

Anonymous said...

it means east of Lexington Ave towards Third Ave...not the opposite direction towards Park...kind of like living 'above Sunset Blvd vs. below Sunset'

lil' gay boy said...

"Countess LuAnn" has all the charm & regal ring as entitling someone Her Serene Royal Highness MaryBell"; makes her sound like breeding stock, or the name one would give to a prize winning show dog. Come to think of it...

;-)

The de Lesseps spread sits at the southeast corner of a former potato field just south of the Bridgehampton Club, one of the oldest golf courses around, having been founded in 1896; although only a nine-holer, it is still highly rated.

They're just a short hop west, across Sagaponack Pond, from Ira Rennert's hideous 63 acre compound Fairfield, reputed to be one of America's largest & most valuable occupied residences, measuring 110,000 sq. ft. & valued (at one point) at $185MM.

Now, as far as etiquette is concerned, I'm not a complete philistine; I DO know which utensil you scratch your back with at high table...*


*(it's the toast fork; the size & splayed tines are perfect for wide coverage, but a lemon fork, also with splayed tines, is more discreet. If you're going covert, use the oyster fork, although for targeted relief there's nothing like a butter pick with a spiral end..)

Anonymous said...

As always, we ask and you deliver, mama! Thanks for being right on it!!

That tranny Kelly, says she is a writer for page 6, can't believe it since she can't string 5 words together, Maybe she's talkin about another housewife to get the spotlight off of herself!

The cuntess, will have a young boy toy lover in less than 6 months!! You can bet on it!

Edith Bouvier Beale said...

all this trash living in East Hampton. I wish I were dead.

Anonymous said...

That house is worth $3 million, max.

stpaulsnowman said...

I am sure the Contassa would admonish LGB not to rinse any of his forks in the sterling finger bowls. It will be interesting to see how she milks being DisCounted for audience sympathy.

Anonymous said...

So are we sure that we've now got the right house? Different one now than when the post first went up. Folks must really wonder what's up with the Hamptons when they see pictures like this: minimal landscaping, brown lawn, poorly maintained tennis court, completely ordinary house. Have they filmed at this place on the show?

Anonymous said...

She could have at least changed her first name ... Like someone else said, 'Countess' & 'LuAnn' just don't really go together ... I doubt anyone in the whole of Europe is called LuAnn.

Hot Sauce said...

we got a countess named mary jo down here in texas but she's drunk alot and sorta trampy, nobody thinks she's a real countess or nothing like that but we all hunour her, it's the christian thung to do.....

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 12:25 hon, most of the satellite photos over the east end of Long Island were taken in winter; hence the brown lawns & such. But you're right that the landscaping is indeed minimal ––– mostly to take advantage of the unique quality of light out there that painters have sought for centuries.

Having been settled in the 17th century, the area is mostly converted farmland, largely potato fields, which at one time were quite famous & sought after for their unique coastal environment. Back in the day "potato connoisseurs" actually claimed to be able to tell the taste of a Long Island potato from other varieties ––– nowadays, um, not so much.

;-)

In summer, when the trees and other vegetation are in full bloom, a aerial photo won't reveal much more than treetops, centuries old in the more settled areas. You can even find, in some local libraries, publications from horticultural societies that list the provenance of individual trees as if they were royal bloodlines; strange but true. Locals actually care that Mr. van der Veldt planted said black oak on his daughter Amy's wedding day in 1675.

Oh and Snowman sweetie, one would never dream of using sterling for a fingerbowl (the oils interact with the silver; ghastly) ––– only crystal will do.

But I fairly sure the Cow-ntess is familiar with the old guard trick of innocently sweeping the offending utensil off the table with a loud clatter to the floor, prompting the ever vigilant Consuela to fetch her a fresh one.

I'm wondering if the reason there's no currently listing for the house is because most divorcing owners of Hamptons properties get split custody of homes, duration & seasons specified in the final agreement (they fight more over Labor Day weekend than custody of the kids). I suspect the previous listing was just a toe-dip in the water to come up with an estimated market value at the time.

The timing makes sense; after all, she is his fourth wife; the guy's a serial schtupper.

EBayer said...

Of course there are sterling finger bowls. check out EBay and you can see some. Maybe they had glass liners but I have seen lots of silver finger bowls. High class people are not oily....you should know that.

Viva! said...

What a difference a season makes. LuAnn's Hamptons spread is much, much nicer in the summer. The tennis court is absolutely maintained and the house itself is unique on the inside, it's very Euro-chalet chic.

Not my taste mind you, but it's not like Kelly Bensimon's shitbox of a house.

I love me some LuAnn, she's hilarious in her pretentious ways...she's overripe and bawdy. A delight!

VERY surprised that the townhouse is LEASED. It certainly LOOKED like a rental...but my goodness. Royalty leasing property?! LuAnn should grab herself a plush condo on the Upper East Side with some of whatever settlement money she receives.

lil' gay boy said...

EBayer, you're too sweet; but I don't travel with high-class people, just watch them from afar...

Of course there are sterling silver fingerbowls, it's just that Nana always found them so very vulgar.

As for the higher classes being oily, it's been my experience that, for the most part, they're dry as old toast; but they do seem to get their fingers into some mighty oily pies, if you know what I mean...

;-)

Viva, I think your characterization of LuLuBell, or whatever her name is, is spot on.

bunky said...

The Hamptons are really very nice and in the summer you really can't see the houses from the street, when everything is in bloom, as for the countess i heard the pizza guy was very impressed with her! I am sure her digs are worth a small fortune, and i am sure the count will throw it to her in the divorce as long as he gets his young GF.

Anonymous said...

$9.5M and no attached garage? Lulu must feel that they are some kind of social disgrace.

bunky said...

oh that's it 9.5 million, Poor Louanne. oops Countess Louanne.

count chocula said...

Is that an auto repair shop next door? Maybe it is so expensive because the area is zoned "Commercial".

Anonymous said...

I want a listing of all of the housewives, see who is leasing, who is owning, who owns the most expensive home, I'm all for competition.

Anonymous said...

This TV show is on the verge of obsessive. Once again Mama you came through for you Children and for that we are grateful.
So while you are at it keep digging and find out who owns, leases, floor plans and what not.
I love this site more and more each day!

Anonymous said...

I'll take that "wrong side of Lexington" any day...

Anonymous said...

Hey Mama, Iceland is selling all 4 of their ambassador residences (Washington D.C., New York, London and Oslo). I think now may be the time to find out if a government decorates as poorly as most celebrities. You should definitely do an article on that!

Anonymous said...

LuAnne is the tackiest, nastiest housewife. Now after seeing her decor, it makes sense it's a lease.

She acts like she's above everyone else. And her old man husband left her, how pathetic!

Anonymous said...

Why are all the Hamptons houses surrounded by dead grass and dirt? I sure hope stuff blooms in the summer.

Babe Parish said...

LGB
just had a look-see at FAIRFIELD...ugh.
that place is overblown, redundant, pompous and silly. one would def need a Hover-round just to get from the front door to the bball court! i'd take the little quasi-victorian with the dirty green pool over that spread any day.

Babe Parish said...

p.s. LGB can u direct me to Ina Garten's on LiveMaps? you're so good at finding places.
:)
thanks

Anonymous said...

Dearest Mama-- I happened to be rummaging through my bathroom reading matter the other day, and found Nick Dunne's fabulous "The Way We Lived Then." So I sat for hours rereading it. OK, I'll get to the point-- my point is-- who ARE these people you are writing about? I'm richer than all this new Hollywood trash! I've got a million dollars. Own three blocks downtown, I've got oil in Bakersfield, pumping, pumping, pumping.... (Btw, I love Jean Howard's book too.) Please-- isn't there anyone other than these Spice sluts to write about? These trampy housewives? Oh, where is Jane Wyatt when you need her? Babs Billingsley? Donna? (Oh, I was mad for her tv husband.) They were ladies, like moi. Are they all gone?

Anonymous said...

Luann leases her home in NYC and her home on the Hamptons is not for sale. Her husband is a slimey looooser and her kids are wonderful. Luann may have let the countess title go to her head on the show, but for those that know her know that that she does not flaunt her title.

luke220 said...

I wonder if she will continue to insist upon being introduced to limo drivers as "countess".

angeleyes said...

I'll take someone who places a priority on verbal etiquette over physical manners anyday. I hope the housewives are just mugging it up for the camera when it's rolling and don't really carry on the way we see them when it's not, but perhaps the Count's interest in dumping his faux French Countess is telling.

If they're planning on lising for close to $10MM again, forget the stager and call in a landscape design expert to do something with their near barren wasteland plot of property.

Anonymous said...

people, that photo is taken in WINTER. it's perfectly lovely and taken care of in the summer.

angeleyes said...

So the photo was taken in Winter. The landscape is boring, sparse, and not anything near what you'd expect in the $10MM range imho. If it was All That, it would have sold long ago when they first listed it. They need a landscape designer who can do more than plant trees like he's installing rows in a vegetable garden imho.

Anonymous said...

Luanne is so disgusting I cannot take it. Good luck getting the $ for the house! Or maybe she does't want the $ so she can continue to use it, and that's why the price is so high.

I thought she was like 54 but is only in her early 40s.

Ramona is by far the best looking one, and is 52.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure 3 people weere shot dead about 2 miles from this property. Very depressing area

bunky said...

Again people, the land is NOT barren, it is theEaste end of Long Island and very beautiful in the summer. What don't you get it is a SUMMER home. Get it beautiful in the SUMMER.

Anonymous said...

This house is riddled with mice

thevinylvillage said...

I just wonder if the trampoline in the back yard conveys?

(and I imagine the neighbors are just renovating...those containers are a handy spot to put furniture and materials when one is doing up their pile of bricks)

Georgica Pond said...

is anyone as exicted as I am regarding the upcoming Grey Gardens? (I know Babe Parish is...). I don't think The Hamptons have been as fascinating since the poor Edies left...............Now THAT was a reality show before this new wave of exhibitionists were even hatched!
Long live the STAUNCH women!. And yes you are all correct, it's rather barren and ugly here in the winter.

Anonymous said...

Live on East 62nd Street, the first two floors are leased to the count & countess. Moneyhoney from CNBC owns a house on the block.

Babe Parish said...

So true, Georgica, so true! In recent years we have experienced a Return to Glamour...I cannot wait for the Return of The Staunch! heehee
:)

Dianne said...

You people are a RIOT!! I actually feel sort of sorry for The Countess now-what will she do without her cover-this will be an identity crisis MAJOR!!! I am very sure that this nefarious Count has managed to sequester all his assets far from her reach too, so I hope the book sales do well!
Also, forget the finger bowls, (I have always seen crystal ones), can it be possible that someone writing a book on manners can speak with her mouth full(GROSS) and plunk her arms all over the table at dinner? That is definitely not what my Mama taught me!!

Anonymous said...

I've been in her house - the house pictured is their house. It's nothing to get excited over and with the current state of the Hampton's market - this would not be the time to try and sell yet another house in the low and muddy parts of Bridgehampton. But if you talk to LooAnn she'll try and tell you she lives on the Ocean in Sagaponack.

Anonymous said...

Did everyone just realize that she didn't own the townhouse!? Yes they rent it, (don't all royalty!). HA!

BTW, I know it's b/w 2nd and 3rd, does anyone know the address number and what side of the street it's on. I snapped a pic of it a year ago when I visited NYC but can't find it.

BTW Maria Bartiromo 'Money Honey' is at 213 and Martin Scorsecee's(however the hell you spell it) formerly owned 217 but sold it a couple years back after not having used it for over 20 years.

Anonymous said...

http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/04/09/countess-luann-de-lesseps-opens-up-about-her-split/?cp=18#comments

Maybe LuAnn changed after signing onto the show and became an embarassment to her husband?

http://www.nypost.com/seven/08262008/gossip/pagesix/real_good_time_at_wedding_126080.htm

The article at the site above appeared in the New York Post on August 26, 2008 describes how, at a wedding in the Hamptons, she grabbed the mike, sang songs and knocked over a drum set and then started groping crotches.

According to the article:
" Then, LuAnn, who was there with her husband, Alexandre Count de Lessups, seemed overwhelmed with affection for her fellow guests. "She was trying to make out with women and married men," the source said. "A pregnant wife caught her in the act, stormed off and walked home in disgust."

Alexandre "tried to make her leave and was seen throwing her to the ground in the parking lot," our spy continued. "

Maybe the Count just finally got tired of hearing other Royals tell him that he should dump her? Surely,some may have watched the show as well and gossiped about LuAnn's disgraceful, inappropriate and quite un-Royal antics. Maybe one of his friends introduced him to the Ethiopian Princess to cheer him up? Google and see what comes up.

Anonymous said...

...and also:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20200405,00.html

• Following New York Post reports that she recently got "cozy" with a younger man at an upfronts party, Real Housewives of New York star LuAnn de Lesseps was spotted sitting with her husband, Alexandre Count de Lesseps, and causing a stir during dinner at Brio in New York. "They were loud; people were definitely looking," an onlooker tells us of the tense scene at the Italian restaurant. "The count looked furious and she was leaning back in her chair." Adds the onlooker: "He was swearing and in a raised voice kept repeating to his wife, 'You don't understand reality, you're consumed by the show!'" But the couple denied any strife on the red carpet at the American Image Awards. "Alex and I are very happily married, and we're very much together," the countess tells us. And her husband added: "I rarely speak about private matters, but I do agree strongly with that."

Anonymous said...

Saw your post. Luann's RENTED townhouse is/was 231 East 62nd Street, and correctly stated, between 2nd and 3rd Avenues. It's a 2 unit rental townhouse with a total of 3,068 sq ft. It's pathetic how these people portray themselves as ultra rich when in reality they live pretty middle class lives. Houses are rental, cars are leased, purses are obtained through exchange programs, etc. If they were so rich then I would imagine the $50,000 they get per episode would be completely donated to charity... but as we all know these people are not only superficial, but greedy.

I don't know when lulu is living now, given that she got dumped at the curb by her geriatric husband and left with nothing, not even that ridiculous title!

Here are photos from the last rental listing:
http://www.corcoran.com/property/PhotoTour.aspx?Region=NYC&ListingID=1715463

and the floorplan:

http://www.corcoran.com/property/FloorPlan.aspx?Region=NYC&ListingID=1715463

Anonymous said...

Yes it is funny, how Luann needed to
tell everyone who had a ear how she was a countess, which of course in this country means NOTHING, it was so pretentious and obnoxious, as if it somehow gave her class. She is just a classless woman who has nothing going for herself. She is now shopping for a place in Manhattan, no doubt it will be a RENTAL.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering why Luann did not keep the NYC Townhouse, and now we know why!

The Townhouse was a rental!!

She really is turning out to be stupid as well as haughty. And a fake.

Real money never lease, they buy. So she was a fake all along, and now she has nowhere to live in NYC!!

melanie said...

The Hamptons house is very 1980's horrible shingles looking. It will need to be ripped down and rebuilt. Anyone who would buy it would only buy it for the land.

I couldn't understand why she gave up the townhouse, but now we know that it was a rental all along. She'll never be able to afford a good NYC property.

Anonymous said...

Now I hate to crush all your fun (and mine to) There is no such thing as a French Countess. They did cut the head off the French King and abolished the aristocratic class. So I find the calling of oneself a Countess pretentious. I find LuAnn to be rude and self important. Now Kelly
i found the fight with Bethanny last season to be a ture tell tale sign of her personally and feellings of being above people she does not like, Myself I think she is a golddigger who found gold and now wants fame. I no longer watch I find the whole thing stupid