Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Your Mama Hears...

...That Grammy winning R&B superstar Usher has been out and about looking at real estate in the City of Angels. According to our sexed-up snitch Luwanda Courvoisier, Mister Usher recently, "worked his milk chocolate skin up and down the twisted streets above the Sunset Strip" where he checked out at least one contemporary crib listed at "around 5.5 million bucks."

Although Mister Usher is married to and has a couple of kids with some ladee named Tameka who recently had a plastic surgery emergency in Brazil, the peeped property isn't exactly family friendly. We're not saying anything about Mister Usher's family life because we don't know eh-nee-thing about Mister Usher's family life. We are simply saying that Miz Courvoisier snickered that the glassy house in the hills is far more suitable to a bevy of horny babes in bikinis than a couple of small children and a newly liposuctioned mommy wife.

Of course, Your Mama got to wondering why Mister Usher even wants a house in Tinseltown. Best as we can figure, the man probably wants to be a movie star just like that over-blinged egomaniac Puff Daddy (or Diddy-P or Fiddle Faddle or whatever stoopid name he wants to be called nowadays) wishes he was. Queen, please. Stick to what you know, which is singing smooth, sappy songs meant to get women in the mood to make babies and leave the film business to actual actors.

Anyhoo, some of the children may recall that way back in September of 2007, the dapper Mister Usher listed his 8,022 square foot suburban Atlanta mansion with an asking price of $1,950,000. Listing information shows the 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom house in the celeb friendly Country Club of the South community is still available and, much to our surprise, has a slightly higher asking price of $1,995,000. Your Mama questions the wisdom of upping the asking price of a property even as the real estate markets continue to limp along like a lame horse. Then again, it's been proven over and over again that Your Mama don't know nuthin' from nuthin' about how to price property, particularly in suburban developments filled with newly built mcmansions.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

lmfao

angeleyes said...

Upping the price of a home languishing on the market is an interesting tactic. All I can think is it's intended to also up the low ball offers he's been getting, if any. Good luck with that in a market where every day most homes are worth a bit less than they were the day before. Thanks Mama!

Anonymous said...

This post is scraping the bottom of the barrel but thanks for trying. I would rather see no post than something that is not up to your usual standards.

Anonymous said...

12:26, it's clear you know all about scraping the bottom of the barrel. Thanks for trying my arse. Those who can, do - those who can't, criticize.

Much appreciated Mama. You'd think after Kanye West's mother died following plastic surgery that celebrities would know better than to choose surgeons based on their ability to perform the work on the down low.

Anonymous said...

So true 12:55, and the worst of the plastic surgery gone wrong horror stories occurs in South America. What was she thinking?! Maybe Usher should move to Beverly Hills where at least top notch talent is readily available.

Anonymous said...

I'll bet he was looking at that falling-apart piece of crap on St. Ives which Puffy was renting. It's asking a preposterous 5.5 (or thereabouts). The house is so poorly constructed that fixtures are falling off, the pool is already leaking, there's damage to retaining walls, etc.

Anonymous said...

Just ask Rupert Everet and Bruce Jenner or Kenny Rogers about the "top notch talent" in California plastic surgery.

LA Ad Guy said...

So what up with the Montalban manse? Someone said it's already dropped to $16 mill. Mama??

Anonymous said...

Yes, price drop to 16 and still too high, CopyGuy. When it does sell, it will be a total demo. Too old school for that 'hood.

StPaulSnowman said...

They certainly cannot demolish a house which received so many complimentary comments on Mama's post. Not even Landry would have the Eier to tear it down.........what would you do with all the cinder blocks and stucco dust. Maybe Ms. Keaton will come to the rescue and dress it up with the little Sombrero Guys.

Anonymous said...

Umm 3:09, Eire is a German word. It's gramatically correct translation is the plural form Ei, or "eggs". It's slang translation is "balls", "nuts", or "testicles".

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Eier

By your own judgement and words, I guess we all know what that makes you now, huh :p

Anonymous said...

Just realized 3:09 has a name - Fresnoguy. Don't let the door whack you in the Eire on the way out Dear..

Hamburgerin said...

Mehrzahl ist Eier und nicht Eire. Fresnoguy hat keine Eier!

Anonymous said...

fresnoguy didn't have any eire anyway.

Anonymous said...

The Monteban place was chopped to $14m, not $16m.

It'll sell around $10m and the new owner will spend another $1m gutting and outfitting it with European finishes.

Anonymous said...

I hope they don't do that to the Montalban house. I don't care what they do to that awful Monteban place.

:{} avg joe said...

Comedian and talk-show host Byron Allen has sold a midcentury modern he owned in the "bird streets" area of the Hollywood Hills for $6.25 million -- after more than two years on the market.

The four-bedroom, 3 1/2-bathroom house has a swimming pool and views of downtown L.A., Century City and the ocean through walls of glass. The one-story, 3,562-square-foot home, built in 1965 and extensively remodeled, came on the market at $6,995,000 in 2007.

Interestingly, at one point during those years on the market the asking price was increased to $7,995,000. Allen bought the home in 2005 for about $4.35 million, according to public records.

-- Lauren Beale

sigmund said...

If that is really Average Joe, then the meds are working miracles.......keep taking them.

Anonymous said...

Mama discussed Mr Allen's house last week. Larry Ellison's lez daughter Megan who lives next door supposibly bought it.

Anonymous said...

does anyone else think usher's wife looks like a transgender?

Anonymous said...

anon 12:54 that is why she went to Brazil to get it whacked off silly

Anonymous said...

There are so many beautiful, old neighborhoods in Atlanta. I don't understand why the celebs insist on living way out in tacky Country Club of the South. Get a real mansion in Buckhead!!

Margaret Mitchell said...

I detest Atlanta!

Anonymous said...

CCOTS is nice, but he's asking for way too much money.