SELLER: Ron Fair
LOCATION: Lime Orchard Road, Beverly Hills (PO), CA
SIZE: 3,977 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4.25 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Recently completed and exceptionally finished contemporary home features a full-floor, upstairs master suite comprised of dual walk-in closets, a designer-chic bathroom and a spacious sitting room/office area. Plentiful French doors and sliding walls of glass bathe the house in light. Tree and ridge-top views from the private and serene pool area. Outdoor dining, a grassy side-yard/play area, and an additional, not-yet developed portion of land across the street round out this rare offering.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: He may not be a household name, but more than likely most folks are familiar with some of the music Ron Fair has written and/or produced, and we guarantee that even the most vehemently indie of the children are somewhat and/or superficially acquainted with a few of the females he's mentored and transformed into singing super stars. Mister Fair is widely understood to be at least partly responsible for funneling and channeling the early careers of ladees like Christina Aguilera, Mya, Mary J. Blige, Macy Grey, The Pussycat Dolls, Keyshia Cole and as the president/chairman of Geffen Records, he's the slim hipped and bespectacled music mogul who worked with Ashlee Simpson on her most recent and not entirely well received third album, a slickly produced pop music flash back that Your Mama can assure you we will go out of our way not to listen to.
Regardless of what you think of the particular genre of pop music he's responsible for producing and pushing, Mister Fair is clearly very good at what he does and has earned himself a healthy and respectable living as is evidenced by the contemporary crib in the Bev Hills that he recently foisted on to the market with a $4,795,000 asking price.
Property records show Mister Fair purchased the 3,977 square foot (per assessor) residence on Bev Hills' guard gated and celebrity laden Lime Orchard Road in September of 2002 for $3,100,000, and listing information indicates the 5 bedroom and 4.25 bathroom residence was given a recently completed re-do.
Although we are non-plussed by the somewhat ster-rile and uncomfortable looking living and dining room day-core and we find the fireplace design a little, uh, much, generally speaking this is a house we can get behind. We are feelin' appreciative of the generous glazing and the ease with which the main rooms open wide to the exterior, we are happy to see the sterility issue resolved in the den/office, and really, let's be honest, there's nothing here that can't be fixed with a nice gay decorator who knows a thing or two about injecting color into a room without making it looking like a damn fun house.
Your Mama is rarely a fan of the kitchen pass through, so we're certainly not grooving on the stove hood peeping through the pass through to the dining room, but we do like the size of the kitchen, the sky light works well for ambient sunshine, and we like stools where dinner guests can sidle up and sip gin and tonics while Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter whip up some Chinese food.
Although we can imagine not all couples with kids will find it desirable, Your Mama is one hundred percent in support of the second floor being devoted entirely to the master bedroom... puts the over night guests like Sister Woman's rather loud children at a comfortable night time distance. The fireplace in the master could be nice for cool or romantic evening, that is of course if we could persuade our house gurl Svetlana to haul a load of wood up to the second floor, which Your Mama is pretty sure we could not. We could certainly live with it, but again, the fireplace design in the master bedroom is just a bit too too for our personal taste and we're definitely not digging the flat screen television anchored above the fireplace even though it's probably perfect for the porn passionistas among us.
The petite and private backyard is also tugging our love strings as it's just enough space for a wonderfully simple shaped swimming pool and a wee terrace for the umbrella shaded chaise lounges, but not nearly large enough for all th at visually upsetting climbing and sliding apparati that people with children too often clutter up their backyards with. "Take 'em to the park or the beach if they want to dig in some sand," is what' we're sayin'.
Listen kids, Your Mama thinks this might be an opportunity for one of you well-to-do children to live up in a guard gated neighborhood bulging and bursting at the seams with rich and famous Hollywood types. Up the road from Mister Fair is former President and CEO of Lifetime Entertainment Carole Black. Down the road and around the corner we've got former Viacom head honcho Tom Freston (who happens to be selling his townhouse in NYC) and a little further along is fast fading singer/ack-tress/tabloid queen Jessica Simpson, who shacks up next door to bling queen Kimora Lee Simmons about whose krazy dee-luxe ways are in constant awe. Also in the 'hood is producer and mega music manager Guy Oseary and up the hill is the sprawling and modern residence of recently deceased gun lover Charleton Heston. And that's not even counting the other ridiculously rich neighborhood residents like financier Richard Ressler who owns a multi-parcel estate on Lime Orchard Road or the politically well-connected couple who recently purchased producer Andrew Vanja's in need of a nice gay decorator estate for $6,300,000.
So listen children, y'all can gripe and snipe all you want about how this house in the Post Office and not the City of Bev Hills and you can scoff 'til the cows come home about the sorry state of the guard house at the bottom of Lime Orchard Road, but this neck of the hills is crawling with celebs who can afford to live anywhere in LA, so it just cain't be all that bad.
We understand the Mister Fair has a small child now and as such Your Mama presumes that he and his baby momma will be moving to more child friendly digs where they can fill the back yard with slides, sand boxes and jungle gyms like all the other rich mommies and daddies. C'est la vie.