Thursday, May 1, 2008

Pamela Anderson Has the Urge to Purge

Ordinarily Your Mama sticks to who is buying and selling the real estate. However, this morning we awoke to an email from Mister Malibu who informed us that pin-up princess Pam Anderson is selling everything but the real estate (which in this case she does not own). That's right children, the woman who's made a very good living strutting her behemoth breasts around to anywhere and everywhere there might be a camera is having a gargantuan garage sale at the Malee-boo mansion she's been leasing since last year up on Morning View Drive. According to the pink website set up for the sale, "She's selling everything!"

And hunnies, everything means everything including the damn kitchen sink. We got 5,000 square feet of vintage country French furniture, faux-aged clay pots, designer doo-dads and depression glass, jeans and jewelry, lamps of all sorts, scooters and skateboards, dozens of white slip covered sofas, baskets full of shells and silver, shoos, tools, off-road equipment, a new Jacuzzi tub, a six passenger electric car and, yes children, a full kitchen.

Security will be be tight tight tight–and Your Mama imagines Miss Pam unlikely to be there–so don't any-bahdee hop in your hoopdies and head out to Malee-boo and act stoopid.

Doors open at 7am. No early birds. Did you hear that all you yard sale queens who typically show up to these things at the crack of dawn with wads of cash wearing matching and brightly colored windbreakers? No. Early. Birds.

photo: Helping Hand Estate Sale Service

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

What happened to Pams colony property? I don't recall her selling it - 23354 Malibu Colony Rd - anyone?

Anonymous said...

thanks for a completely stupid, useless and pointless article.

Rita Rummage Sale said...

Wow! She has she has a shit load of stuff for sale. To bad it is not my taste. I am going to have to miss this one.

Anonymous said...

7:43
Oh my!

dolly said...

Whether the article is "stupid" or not is debatable, but it is not at all useless or pointless for those who live in or near Malibu and who are in the market for assorted shabby chic pieces of furniture that may or may not be dusted with the DNA of a famous large-mammoolahed blond tart.

WillLDS said...

Her DNA would cause me no concern, but I'd be worried about other's DNA. I mean, did anyone SEE the Tommy Lee video!?!?!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't get me wrong because I'm a huge fan of Mama and this blog, but aren't all the articles here useless? Isn't that the point? I read the paper for "useful" news.

So who cares if you (7:43) don't care for one of these posts? Move on. It's certainly nothing to get angry or upset about.

Anonymous said...

What a great idea. My respect for this woman just increased greatly. Why?

Because there's a lot of things she is doing. She is acting in an ordinary fashion when faced with a lot of "stuff" she wants to get rid of. She is allowing everyone into the sale...a huge draw. She's providing, and I assume paying for, parking, transportation and security.

The one thing she isn't doing is being a "typical" starlet. I'm sure she's well aware that this "gimmick" is going to draw huge crowds whcih is the point. The best yard sales are those with a hook to draw you in. I only wish I were in Malibu to go. If anyone does buy the basket of shells...give me a holler as I'll buy it off you and pay for the shipping to New Hampshire.

What a hoot. Here's to hoping that house is empty by the end of the weekend and there's some change clanging around in Pam's pockets.

Peace
Joel

so_chic_darling said...

First let me say to anon 7.43 fuck off.
Now let me just say first how much I love Ms Pam and secondly how much I hate her taste in interior decoration.
Of all the decorating fads,scams and horrors NOTHING beats shabby chic for dreadfulness.First of all it is a scam perpetrated by an upper middle class English twit with a stick up her bum(that's why she talks like that)Rachel Ashwell.
She thinks that you can take things from the garbage,paint them white or put a cheap white cotton slip cover on them et voila.Well no you can't and it still looks like trash painted white.
Pam my dear I hope you get lots of money for your recycled garbage,better it goes to a rabid fan than to the land fill!

Anonymous said...

Ahhh...There is the So_Chic I love.

Anon 8:27 - Absolutely correct. None of us NEED to know about the wheeling and dealings of the rich and [in]famous. It is entertainment. A point that is lost on a certain commentor (and his multiple personality disorder).

Didn't Cher throw a garage sale years ago? Not in Malibu, somewhere in LA/Beverly Hills.

I predict Staging Lady In A Pink Prius will be first in line.

Rita Rummage Sale said...

I am so with So_Chic on this one but I didn't have the nerve to say so. My only thought was...who is going to buy all this shit? I am sure there are several nice odds and ends, but honestly most of it is ass-ugly as Our Mama would say.
I would have never guessed that Miss Pammie would have had this decor. I can't see the men in her life wanting to be around this.

Hmmmmm said...

Wow. I just saw this house on Cribs. It was on the same episode as Jewel and Leanne Rimes.

PA's house is absolutly chock full of stuff. All pink and white.

Parker said...

rita rummage, somehow I don't think the men in her really notice the furnishings...

pch said...

For me, interior design is mostly interesting as a reflection of the occupant. Incongruence is rare. And because this is exactly how I would expect Pam Anderson to decorate at the beach, it seems correct.

Also, Parker's right -- if I had the great good fortune to date Pam Anderson (!!!), her taste in dressers and lamps would be the last thing on my mind.

Anonymous said...

My penis is delicious and you know it!

sandpiper said...

The most exciting part of seeing Ms. Anderson's stuff was my anxious antipation of so_chic_darling's reaction. It was worth the wait. Priceless. Meow!

lil' gay boy said...

Let's all hand it to So-Chic; said exactly what most of us were thinking - thanks again for your refreshing frankness.

I must say that Joel has a point too; getting rid of all this junk in this manner is better than most American's penchant for just throwing it out - I can't wait to see the demographic of the mobs that show up!

Alessandra said...

Pamela, pch? Eh, well, I expressed fascination for Kid Rock and was not thrown to the wolves.

Anyway, her sense of style suits her. I'm with so_chic in regards to the crime that has been perpetrated through Shabby Chic design.

pch said...

She's not my usual "type" but I've been known to go for an E ticket every once in while...

Parker said...

Okay, pch, I'm relieved to hear that she's not your usual type. I thought all of your taste and class slipping out the shabby chic door.

Anonymous said...

maybe she will be selling an old implant or two.. it what she is most famous for..it would be " a hell of a paper weight or door stop "

pch said...

Funny, Parker. Full disclosure: I've met her a few times, very casually, and I thought she was very sweet. So that goes into the equation. And, let's be honest, I'd be a serious walk on the wild side for her, too. I'm a lot like Paul Rudd (looks, personality) and therefore way too boring for la Pamela :)

Incidentally, I know I'm always saying nice things about the supermodel types I've met. And just in case my credibility's getting a little shaky, it's worth noting I usually keep not-so-impressive celebrity encounters to myself. Lousy for gossip, good for karma -- and my career.

Anonymous said...

As usual, good call PCH. I was in the same position for many years with only saying nice things about the well known people I frequently came in contact with in a past career. Now I could tell stories but never on an internet blog.

I never met Pam but did meet Tommy & Heather back in the day. And they both were truly nice people. I probably would have been checking his basket had I known then what I have seen since!

Anonymous said...

what a bunch of JUNK. i'd be afraid of catching HEP-C from going in that place or touching anything. shows you money can't buy class.

Anonymous said...

I smell a reality show.

lil' gay boy said...

Glad to see you keeping your standards up with the usual touch of class, PCH; it's never a good idea to toss shit at anyone - it tends to splatter the tosser . . .

Hartly Fartly said...

I doubt if anyone will show up

those that had the money are now worried about putting gas in the tank and paying the rent

those that have the money do not go to garage sales, estate sales, it is considered to be in bad taste.

pch said...

LGB, dunno if you were on hiatus when we got this started, but you (and any of the other children) are always feel free to come over here if you want to veer off topic...have a side conversation...whatever...

sandpiper said...

PCH, E-Ticket? Too precious. I figured that was your meaning all along. LOL.

I'm with Mama on the pass thru. The entire wall is an over-accessorized distraction.

Bet Mister Fair's bachelor furniture won't be moving to the new place. As a mom with baby-proofing radar, too many sharp corners and top-heavy pieces (end tables yikes!) that could topple.

Pretty house.

Anonymous said...

This is not at Pam's home at all. It's just space they're using for the sale.

Anonymous said...

I went to her yard sale. All the furniture was more shabby than chic and it was all expensive. I did however buy a cooler that had LEE written on the side (am still trying to find the fake bottom) and Pamela's three hole puncher (there are a few jokes available that I will refrain from making). She was also selling her pink Butt Blaster machine (no jokes needed).

Anonymous said...

I also went. And indeed, she is filming a reality show. The crew was there and you had to sign your life away. It was not at her house, but a rented house that is down the street and for sale at 8.5m. http://www.30245pacificcoast.com/

Her chef said (he was making everyone the best lemonade you ever had) she doesn't live anywhere near there. And he'd never been to that house on thsi site. She's 9 miles away in the colony. Bought a few Wustof knives. Things were expensive. All proceeds to go to PETA. Good white trash time, though. Some lady bought $6k worth of stuff. She was like a size 18 buying size 2 gowns. Probably a reseller. Good times...

Your Mama said...

Children,

Your Mama as set up temporary digs at realestalkertoo.blogspot.com

You'll need to check there in the short term and until we get our permanent home back up and running.

Sorry for the inconvenience.