Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Danny DeVito Selling Encino Condo. Huh?

SELLER: Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman
LOCATION: Park Encino Lane, Encino, CA
PRICE: $750,000
SIZE: 1,837 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: An incredible opportunity is offered. This penthouse unit features a spacious, sun filled living room with Cathedral ceilings with clearstory windows; Large eat in kitchen with laundry room; Master suite with walk-in clost and bath, clearstory windows in the master bedroom too, separate and private from the 2nd large bedroom suite, beautiful, serene views of the ine trees. Balconies in the front and back of the unit.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen children, Your Mama is sicker than a dog today, so by necessity we're going to try to be brief, which y'all know is not one of our strong points. Some of you will surely whisper to each other (and prolly to the press) that Your Mama ails due to a too generous intake of gin and tonics. And that's just fine, gossip as you please. However, our story is that we ate some bad chicken last night and we're sticking to it.

Now then, before we head back to the bed to nurse this gastrointestinal grotesquerie, we want to pass along a bit of celebrity real estate information we received yesterday from a gal we like to call The Governess who gleefully informed Your Mama that diminutive actor Danny DeVito and his equally wee wifey Rhea Pearlman have recently listed a condominium in Encino.


Yes children, Encino.

Contrary to popular scuttlebutt, Your Mama does not personally know Mister DeVito or Miz Pearlman, therefore we are unable to speak with any authority or certainty as to why the rich and famous shorties would own an ass uglee condominium in Encino. However, we will speculate that this "penthouse" unit was perhaps (perhaps, puppies, perhaps) occupied by someone on the DeVito/Pearlman staff whose compensation included housing. Or maybe (maybe!) one of the DeVito/Pearlman off-spring shacked up here. Or maybe it was just an investment property. Who knows? Not Your Mama.

What we do know is that according to property records, the itty bitty film and television powerhouses purchased this 1,837 square foot condominium on Park Encino Lane back in January of 1998 for $350,000. Listing information indicates that the two bedroom and two bathroom unit currently carries an asking price of $750,000. Sounds like a nice return on their investment. However, given that Your Mama does not know shit from shy-nola about condominiums in Encino, we'll leave it up to all the San Fernando Valley apartment dwellers and real estate experts to decide whether that's a realistic asking price or not.

Listing information also indicates the unit is sun filled and has clearstory windows in the living room and master bedroom. Yes puppies, we're used to seeing that type of window spelled "clerestory" too, but a quick scan of the internets and we learn that "clearstory" is also an acceptable spelling for that architectural innovation. I guess that proves Your Mama is never too old or too sick to learn something new.

Anyhoo, while living up in a condo like this in the suburban wilds of Encino would be akin to residing in the seventh level of Hell to Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, it's not all bad. It is located on the top floor which, of course, eliminates the need to work our voodoo doll black magic on heavy footed upstairs neighbors, there are private poopers for each of the bedrooms, the ceilings are sky high and decent sized balconies at the front and the back of the unit provide excellent spots to look at pine trees and smoke illegal substances...all good things. On paper.

However, among other details, we are concerned with the Oatmeal colored carpet (we're not a big fan of wall to wall even if it is the same benign color as a wholesome breakfast food) and we're deeply unhappy about the dated kitchen cabinets and black appliances. Nothing that money can fix, but given our upset stomach it just seems too much to consider at this point and time.

In other real estate news related to the DeVito/Pearlmans...Their big house/compound on Ridgedale Drive in Bev Hills remains on the market with the big asking price of $31,900,00.

Off we got to pour some Milk of Magnesia down our gullet. And please, children, Your Mama begs of you, talk quietly among yourselves until we feel like we don't want to vomit every 10 minutes.


pch said...

So, so early 80s. Or late 70s. But, as condo developments in Encino go, this one doesn't seem half bad. A hillside view, and south of the Boulevard, which everyone over there cares about. Like Moon Zappa said, "I'm a val, I know, but I live, like, in a really good part of Encino, so it's okay."

Rhea said...

That place is really homely. Yuck.

Anonymous said...

are they selling everything bcse they are splitting up?

Anonymous said...

When you plan on retiring and you've been in essence a 1099 vs a W2 you have to liquidate when you need the reserves or to shuffle your finances...

bentley said...

This pad screams sugar shack to me. Sorry y'all, but that's my gut talking, and I haven't consumed any bad gin, pardon me, kung pao.

lil' gay boy said...

Oh, Mama, feel better! I hate "bad" chicken (they always tell their parents . . .)


No home remedies here, just a little reminder (trust me, the gall bladder's coming out soon so I know from whence you gag) that Milk of Magnesia turns to a solid in your poor tummy (think about unswallowing); 'nuff said . . .

As for this gag-inducing Encino hideout, well, sugar shack, extra space for the help or just an impulse buy, they obviously haven't put much time/attention into it; doesn't look like it's seen a lick of paint or even a misbegotten DIY attempt since the ink dried on the contract - looks like it could use a good airing as well.

Not to mention that the outside looks like a medium-security correctional facility; all-in-all:


Anonymous said...

Hope you're feeling better soon Mama ~hugs~

ed from westwood said...

well lets see average joe would think that

the condo in encino is worth 100k

the estate in bh is worth 3MM

considering that real estate has gone up 1500% in the last 10 years and it is going back down with a major over correction with a 80% drop in the valley on the way he may not be that far off from his prediction.

Many other blogs and news media are starting to come out with some startling information in the last week so now I am beginning to think that average joe may not be so average.

According to the media and blogs, the market still has not come down yet due to the banks are keeping it up by buying and selling foreclosures and other properties to each other, but sooner or later they are going to have to unload their properties to us the buying public and when that happens we will be a hard sell as many of us are now overly educated in real estate and I now believe that we will see the huge 80% correction that average joe has been talking about since last year.

However this could work in the reverse if the federal government bails the bankers out of this problem.

We the taxpayers will see an extra 15-20% added to our income taxes for the next 20 years just to keep real estate at the pricing level it is at today.

I am already getting propositions in the mail and from telemarketers for different types of bailouts that say they are in the billions but if you read the fine print you will see that they are in fact in the trillions .

I already pay enough in taxes as it is, and I refuse to contribute to a bankers bailout.

It is wrong and un american.

Anonymous said...

Average Joe-Ed from Westwood,

You are such a f**king idiot.

Alessandra said...

Not a terrible price for the size of the unit and the location, but it looks horribly dated to me. They're putting granite counter tops in trailer homes these days, you know. I'm just sayin'. My guess is that it sells in the $699-725 range, unless someone is a huge DeVito fan (no pun intended)

Sugar shack? Bentley, you shock me!

Anonymous said...

Paging Average Joe/Ed Westwood...Average Joe/Ed Westwood...You flight back to UrAnus is now departing in the brown zone.

Anonymous said...

Is the buyer going to have to pay to have all of the countertops raised to normal height and not knee-high??? Those two are shorties!

Richard said...

What's all this hiding of addresses all the time? People with money have no more rights than you or I.

4774 Park Encino Ln 306 Unit Encino, CA 91436

Maybe someone wants to go see it to purchase it.

Could that be the case.

Enough of this body-guarding celebrities and people with me, and start listing the addresses you're talking about.


Anonymous said...

Mama's yard, Mama's sandbox, Mama's rules. You don't like it? Go play in your own sandbox.


bentley said...

Come on! If Staging Lady had anything to do with this, she started smoking sweet organic weed and got la-a-zy!

The lack of anything really, except a spindly little kitchen table and some generic black leather furniture dumped in the living room?

Nasty business, I say.

StPaulSnowman said...

In a property this size, it was most likely Staging Lady's junior assistant or unpaid intern from the local open school.

Anonymous said...

Haven't you heard? The sky is falling so Staging Lady has to take work anywhere she can. Even it is staging Average Ho & Ed Deadwood's love shack cardboard box after the trash men moved it.

ed from westwood said...

To the anons that are insulting me and I am sure that it is only one or two anons, so it clear that the rest of the world does not share your views.

why? your ignorance will only make you poorer.

and I am beginning to side with average joe, is that so wrong ?

Anonymous said...

Joe, Ed, Bob... Same shit, different name. We all know and agree that you are nuts. Go back to your own blog.

ed from westwood said...

anon just curious as I have yet to meet someone with intelligence on here.

what makes you think that ?

Anonymous said...

F**k off ed/joe.

ed from westwood said...

just curious as I have yet to meet someone with my limited intelligence on here.

can someone change my diaper?

Anonymous said...

Oh for the love of all that is short and hairy...who cares if the condo is in the "valley"...this whole town is over-priced and if the DeVito's find this a fine location for themselves, so be it.

Anonymous said...

Probably bought it for one of the kids or relatives......