Saturday, May 17, 2008

Early Morning Mish Mash

Listen my little chickadees, today is a travel day so Your Mama is coming to you from some free hot spot wireless location at the damn airport where babies are shrieking, the men are unwashed and at least half the women think it's appropriate to show up at the airport in cotton track outfits and white sneakers. Pleeze. Airports are uglee places and on that note we have a few updates before we down a big fat Xanax and get on the big bird.

1. Our favorite capricious minx and Oscar nominated ack-turuss Sharon Stone has put that damn residential white elephant she owns in the Bev Hills Post Office back on market with a new, improved and easily digestible asking price of $10,000,000. The children with their early morning thinking caps will recall that the Mediterranean manse was first flipped on to the market back in 2006 with a $12,500,000 asking price.

Will someone please buy this bloody house and put Miz Stone and her accountants out of their misery? And difficult as it may be for some of you children, please try to show some mercy and love for the string of long suffering real estate agents who have spent big bucks marketing Miz Stone's 7 bedroom and 8 bathroom investment folly only to have it sit around unsold for a real estate ice age.

Your Mama sincerely hopes Miz Stone's bank account is as colossal as her suped-up convertible black Bentley would indicate because Bee-hawtcha is gonna lose her La Perla panties on this mo-fo. Since we're short on time, we're gonna send you over to Mister Big Time who recently wrote a nice run down of Miz Stone's real estate drama over this house that is tucked back on nearly 5 acres at the north end of N. Beverly Drive.


2. Oh. My. gawd! Looks like Avril "The Spitter" Lavigne's former bachelorette pad is in escrow.

Again.

This would be the third, fourth or 742nd time depending on who you ask. Little Faux Punk Princess has been trying to unload her Bev Hills Post Office pile for longer than anyone–including Your Mama–would care to recall. Suffice to say The Spitter has been through several real estate agents, several price reductions (currently listed at $5,800,000) and according to our source, several buyers who backed out of the deal. Apparently hooking up with Paris Hilton's super successful real estate agent uncle and his well funded team of stagers was the trick Miss Lavigne's house needed.

Believe it or not, there's actually an itty bitty kernel of goodness in Your Mama's cold dark heart that hopes The Spitter will finally unload her bachelorette pad...if only so we can put that baby to bed and not have to listen to it whine anymore, you know what we're sayin'?

Now we gotta run for the plane. Back after we land and get settled in next to the pool.

83 comments:

Anonymous said...

have a safe flight!

Anonymous said...

I love you!!!

Anonymous said...

You don't fool me for a second Mama......I finally figured out what you are all about. Which high end property are you off to stage? Are your design assistants travelling with you? C'mon, fess up!

lil' gay boy said...

Poor Mama!

I'd rather crawl naked on my hands & knees through broken glass to get to my destination than fly with a screaming baby; why don't parents just put them in the overhead compartment like decent folks should do?

;-)

Godspeed, Mama; and don't forget to call from the plane to have that nice resort set out a cool G&T poolside for your arrival.

As for the newest slash on Ms. Stone's manse, how long before Henny Penny shows up armed with ridiculous figures and statistics just to say "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

Can you say Average Ho?

As for the Spitter, well, she spits, doesn't she?

Anonymous said...

Well I have heard that any flight no matter how bad beats a 3 day trip on grey hound

ed from westwood said...

I have an idea, instead of listing these homes at prices that are out of this world, why not go to a bank, any bank and ask them what it is worth in their books, and list it accordingly

That way no time is wasted, and I do feel sorry for the realtor's that most likely spent tens of thousands to get that place sold to no avail.

The real estate game is just not that friendly of an adventure anymore is it ?

To lose a million in less than 2 years has got to hurt, I do not care who you are.

StPaulSnowman said...

For those who want to look at something beautiful while Mama is up in the air, check out the gallery section of the Stokesay Court website. There are wonderful photos of the exterior and interiors. The house was a location for the film Atonement. Enjoy

Anonymous said...

A whopping 25 minutes before the idiot shows up from LGB's mention. Forget the overhead compartment, can we put Ed/Joe under the tires?

Anonymous said...

anon 7 42am

I think you have some issues to deal with

you are really scaring folks on this blog

Alessandra said...

LGB, there are times I would love to pack my toddler in an overhead bin. And fly with an IV drip of T&t.

The Spitter's buyers are probably too turned off by the boring nature of the property. Once you get a good look, it's like The Aladdin was in Vegas. Tacky.

Anonymous said...

it is like you are a little to obsessed with joe ed whom ever

you think ?????????

Linda Hoof said...

I'm not obsessed,I'm pissed off and I want to kick some ass.

ed-joe's river she-ba said...

my boyfren ed-joe is breakfast huntin at the dumpster . he been huntin empty bottles 2. he yelling at squirrals sayin thay r liers about cost for new tent .

Anonymous said...

LGB Karma's a bitch, I would not wish ill on someone else's misfortune, the universe may come back to bite you in the ass a hundred times.

You used to be a real nice guy on here and now you are turning into an asshole, why ??

Anonymous said...

Joe/Ed (aka anon 8:25 & 8:26) -

No one one this blog is scared...well, maybe some of the RE professionals are scared that you will call and harass them with your crazy ideas of how to buy a house on your Jack-In-The-Box salary.

And we all agree YOU are the one with MAJOR issues. This is Mama's Blog, not yours. Stop trying to hijack it.

Anonymous said...

anon 9 01 am

you are an idiot and your grammar proves it

shut the fuck up you imbecile

Anonymous said...

Joe/Ed - Like posting without using any appropriate capitalization makes you a genius?

luke220 said...

I'm sure that Sharon is getting some nice depreciation on the property so I don't feel too sorry for her.

And Ed, why go to a bank for a value? Why don't they just listen to their realtors?

Manuel que? said...

relax people

lgb show some respect for baby's

they are the future taxpayers

and about the screaming baby's i do not care because i do not fly cattle class.

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 8:48,

When did I wish misfortune on anybody?

The only misfortune is ours - that Average Ho turned up yet again . . .

;-)

As for screaming babies, Manuel - do you REALLY believe I'd stuff the poor mites in the overhead? My heart goes out to the poor parents who must travel by air with a fussy baby, as every single fellow passenger will have at least a fleeting thought of infanticide over this apocryphal scenario.

Anonymous said...

ed-manuel-joe, etc.,

We know who you are by any name you hide behind.

We are witnessing your complete mental collapse.

Give up and go away for good.

Parker said...

LGB, you crack me up. As for the poor parents who must fly with the fussy baby or toddlers, trust me, half the stress is trying to keep the kid(s) quiet so as to not disturb the fellow passengers.

And I'm really tiring of the chicken littles. I have two friends that are each in escrow to buy homes sold at $2.8MM and $4.2MM. No isssues getting loans, etc. Another friend just sold her home for the same price ($1.3MM) that she bought it for two years ago, and she put no money into it. They had to move for her husband's job, otherwise they would've been thrilled to hold on to it. So no, the sky is not falling. People just too often don't price their houses realistically, regardless of the market.

ed from westwood said...

LGB
infanticide ?

are you serious ?

even as a joke that is not funny!!!!

Parker are your friends buying homes in the 90046 zip code sunset plaza area ?

that has been the starting point of the debate all along.

and Luke 220 I hear that the banks are calling out their own standards to pricing a home now, they are using appraisers they trust implicitly or they have them in house.

They also want to see at least 5 comps that have sold recently, escrows do not count.

Remember that not long ago realtor's and appraisers screwed the banks.

I personally knew of many appraisers that took large kickbacks to inflate the price of properties, they were asked to include the 2nd and 3rd mortgages somehow in the final listing price so that the flippers would break even, very unethical wouldn't you say ?

So in conclusion if you want to really sell your home fast go down to a bank and get a real estimate from them and list it accordingly, think about it, how many buyers really want to pay cash these days ? I would say close to none.

Getting a loan from a bank still has major tax advantages.

Anonymous said...

Joe-ed

I'd like to stick you up in an overhead.
"OUR DEBATE?" You are f**king nuts. Nobody's talking to you. Nobody answers you except your.

ed from westwood said...

This is all hypothetical as I am not I repeat not in the market for a home right now.

Here is another analogy, when you buy a car, lets say a 2004 BMW, it is used, the blue book says it is worth 40k you have 10k to put down, you ask for a bank to loan you 30k, well if the bank says the car is worth 20k from their blue book, then you have to come up with another 10k down, to get it for 40k

The dealer does not care what the bank says, they want their 40k, end of story.

With homes we are now talking millions dollars and if a 5MM home is worth 1MM to a bank that means I would have to come up with an extra 2MM for a total of 4MM down to get it vs having 2MM down to get the loan.

So the escrow has now fallen apart.

Again just because the bank says the home is worth 1MM does not mean the I will get it for that, the seller will continue to try and find a buyer that can give him 5MM.

In regards to successful escrows, I have heard that the rule of thumb is for every 20 escrows that occur you have 1 final sale, does that sound about right ?

ed from westwood said...

and anon 10 33 am

keep your comments to yourself

as a wiseman once said

if you have nothing nice to say about someone say nothing at all.

Grosse Pointe Brat! said...

Cotton Track outfits and white sneakers, how about muffin top cutoffs and flip flops, gross out the Grosse Pointe Brat!!!

Anonymous said...

Ed From Westwood,

Either start posting facts with links to back them up or stop posting.

We all know you are posting half truths and outright false information but a casual or new reader that doesn't know your agenda might believe something you post.

That is why you are getting so many responses refuting your claims. You don't substantiate any of them with fact.

As long as you post crap, you are going to get called on it.

lil' gay boy said...

Or, as Caroline Astor was once credited with saying,

"If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, then come sit next to me."

;-)

ed from westwood said...

Well on the escrows equation ask any realtor, I think the ratio is 20 to 1 although it may be 35 to one.

Some realtor's have even told me that after the 100th escrow they get a sale but those are the ones that started in the last year, as for the other links find them yourself, just google anything I say and see what links you get.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand it.

If Mama wants to tighten commenter requirements before posting I'd support it. Maybe that would restore the quality and focus here.

The coward idiot ed/joe/etc. could easily be blocked. The damage he does here is sad and depressing.

Anonymous said...

what damage ?

I like his / their comments

and a lot of what he / they say is true

stop being a crybaby !!!

Anonymous said...

11;26 YOU ARE ed and joe and the rest of your inner voices that pretend to talk back and forth. Don't try to sound like you're somebody else you whack job.

Anonymous said...

It's tough being a real estate agent (not!).

ed from westwood said...

Here we go again another anon trying to play policeman

look in case you have not noticed you are bringing a type of low class to this blog, you should stop and go somewhere else.

ed from westwood said...

That is unless you are disgruntled RE agents who are trying to convince everyone that all is well , so what is it anons ??

Anonymous said...

Ed - I said *facts*

"any realtor" and "some realtor" is not facts.

In fact, none of your 10:58am post is true. All false.

The only facts are that you posted the comments at 11:26 and 11:59.

PS. And you obviously don't know how to finance a used car either. Another bunch of falsehoods from you.

Polly said...

This is no fun anymore,the chicken littles have escaped from their cages and are running all over Mama's blog and shitting on everything.

ed from westwood said...

anon 1209

unless you have worked in finance like I have you will never have a clue as to what I am conveying

so learn your finance and come back when you know your abc's

I clearly am way above you in intelligence and experience and you are beginning to bore me

figure it out for your self.

Chicken Little said...

No,no Polly please don't shoot I didn't mean it!

Eddie from PDX. said...

Actually, Ed is right on the button for financing a used car.

In January I bought a 2006 BMW 3series wagon (yes, I know, kinda soccer momish. I like wagons though).

Anywho... I called my credit union to get hooked up with a loan, and they made me list every option available and ran it through their blue book system and then said they would give me XXXX amount based on what the value of the car was.

this was before I even told them how much the asking price was.

Exactly how Ed from Westwood described it.

Now I'm not sure if that translates to financing a house.

But it kind of makes since.

you are all the same person said...

Joe,Ed,Eddie from PDX
GO AWAY!

Eddie from PDX said...

Um. No. I'm me.... Just another queen who reads this damn blog, every day... although I never leave comments.

And stop being such a bully.

Jeeze, stop bickering, and talk about the bidnezz at hand... making fun of ugly day-core!

Eddie from PDX. said...

again, stop being a cyber bully.

And while you all are paying attention:

LGB: You and I could so be friends.
Oh so chic: LOVE your comments.

As for the other mean anny-notes.. just ignore them. Jeebeebuss... I want to read bitchy comments about people's ugly (or excellent..depending on your point of view) houses and day-core, and not read a debates about the immidiate breakdown/upswing of the economy and housing prices.

Lighten up.

mother nature said...

I count 38 out of 43 posts written by or in protest of the village idiot.

I wish we could all just pull together and ignore.

Mama works way too hard. This is all so wrong.

Please, please, please?!

Anonymous said...

"eddie from pdx" leaves all kind of comments...as "ed from westwood", "average joe", "downer debby"...fuck i can't even remember all his damn made up names. but the writing and misinformation is all same shit different day with him.

i wonder if mama can track ip addresses for the posts. and wouldnt it be interesting to see where joe/ed/debby/eddy/asshole is posting from. could it be we should be calling him peter?

Eddie from PDX said...

I'm Eddie from PDX. I'm not those other people... I just happen to share a first name with Ed from Westwood.

I'll even link my blog (reg. required)... it's nothing interesting, just my life.. but at least it proves I'm me.

If the link doesn't work above, cut and paste this : http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=C101736

And the peeps posting annymously... please make up any name and use it consistantly.

eddie from PDX said...

oh... I'm from Portland. Does that help?

luke220 said...

I'd like to welcome Eddie to the comment board. His initiation seems a little harsh, but I can tell that he's been holding back a lot of good comments. Let's not scare away the newbie.

A question for the experts- if money is so hard to come by how is Jeff Lewis getting bankrolled?

To disprove another point, the fallout in my market is only about 15%.

eddie from PDX said...

ps: if you do visit my blog, please leave a note saying you stopped by.

Anonymous said...

Having a profile of sorts doesn't prove anything you idiot.

eddie from PDX said...

Thanks Luke.

I can't comment on the housing market financing... not my expertise (if anyone wants to talk about healthcare financing then I could speak with knowledge!)

Changing subjects... is Momma on vacation again? I'm starting to get the shakes from withdrawl.

It's either this or read the new Medicare updates. Please Momma, save me from pre-rambles!

eddie from pdx said...

um, ya. It does prove that I'm me. Not hiding behind the annymous name.

And all I did was share my experience with financing a pre-owned car, which happend to support a point that you didn't agree with.

I didn't agree with the overall position on the housing market, and I will refrain, since honestly I do not know enough about it to comment. My world is healthcare compliance.

I just come here to look at the big ass houses, and marvel at people's lack of taste.

So, calm down, have G&T and relax.

Luke: Thanks again for welcomming me. I hope to become a regular "girl-I-can't-believe-they-put-that-hidious-rug-the-bathroom" comment leaver.

pch said...

Hey Eddie, like Luke said, glad you're here.

pissed off jack said...

anon WHO IS COMPLAINING LIKE A CRY BABY

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

yOU ARE FUCKING ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF EVEYONE

TELL YOU WHAT; HOW ABOUT IF I POST YOUR IP ADDRESS AND YOUR NAME HERE AND ALL OVER THE OTHER BLOGS

I AM A WEB GURU, I CAN DO THIS WITH EASE

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ??

MINE IS IN RUSSIA

ALTHOUGH IT IS IN US

AND IT IS FAKE

SO NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO HUH ???

YOU FUCKING PRICK !!!!

pissed off jack said...

BTW MY INTERNET IS SATELLITE SO THAT MEANS I HAVE MULTIPLE IP's ALL OVER THE WORLD YOU FUCKING TWAT !!!!

lil' gay boy said...

Temper, temper, oh web guru POJ; no need to shout.

No one here is impressed with your web acumen - now if you can tell the difference between a Tiffany & a Cartier, well, you're in like Flint.

Everyone here is free to post whatever drivel they deem appropriate, just like you.

pissed of jack said...

LGB you are right

time for a drink

I was just told that it is illegal to post someones IP address and name for all to see anyway, so I won't do it.

sorry for the outburst

all of us just have to ignore the crybaby anon, anons, hopefully they will go away.

I admit that ed, joe and others are a little annoying as well

I hope they all just go away

lil' gay boy said...

Thanks, Jack - all it takes is a touch of class, as you just demonstrated.

Anonymous said...

Mama...hope your flight went well. In two weeks I'm relocating back to the West Coast from the Midwest in an old station wagon with one husband, two teenagers, and three cats varying in age from one to sixteen, so getting on a big bird sounds incredibly luxurious now, screaming baby or no. It beats stopping to clean out the catbox at a truckstop somewhere outside of Amarillo.

Thanks again for your blog. It is one of the things that has kept me sane after many mundane workdays that are thankfully coming to a close. It's been a long, long two years, Mama.

Enjoy your trip, and be safe in your travels.

Anonymous said...

The bitch of it is, PO'ed Jack is - ed/joe. Read it again, LGB. You'll see. This is getting way too freekie-deekie for moi.

so_chic_darling said...

Thanks for the shout out Eddie from Portland.

Anonymous said...

Posting someone's ip address is only illegal in his alternative universe. A lot of the internet blog programs display it next to every single post. Others only make the ip address visible to the blog owner. Sure, one could use a proxy to hide where they are really coming from but who is crazy enough to change the setting between every post..especially when they are posting to themselves every 3 minutes..

Nevermind..don't answer that. Joe/Ed is that crazy.

sandpiper said...

Hi Eddie from PBX. Ciao.

And...Hi 4:44. Bless your sweet little heart on the imminent adventure. Hoping those three 4s in your comment time are a good luck omen for the fun-packed trek out west.

The Hollywood Mayor said...

That's too bad Miz Stone is losing so much on her home... who woulda thought it would be so hard to unload that place?

I'm sure it's been close to selling a few times but just has a few elements that aren't to the buyer's liking..


Ed / Average Joe - you ruin this blog for everyone

Anonymous said...

anon 5:07 PM

actually it is illegal to post an ip address with the persons personal information, name address, ph# ect.

there is a privacy act bill that makes it a federal crime I believe.

Anonymous said...

Ed/Joe - Anon 5:07 didn't say anything about posting anyone's personal information, name, address, ph# ect.

It is not illegal to post/show an ip address.

Showing the originating ip would only reveal your isp and general location. It would more importantly for the topic at hand, show which posts are all coming from the same internet connection, regardless of the "name" you type in the box.

As Martha Stewart would say "It's A Good Thing".

Anonymous said...

can't be done already tried, now if this was a real website that feature may be there.

This is a blog from blogger.com

What I do not understand is why this has not been converted into a real website yet ?

Anonymous said...

LGB,

A little bit of Houosekeeping

Anonymous said...

I guess it's too early to spell housekeeping. Sorry

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 5:18,

Thanks for the link!

I usually check such references from a tome called "The Origin of Catch Phrases", but it's currently in storage.

Love the sometimes obscure origins of words such as posh, which scholars still can't agree whether or not is an acronym for "port out, starboard home," but they do agree it is British in derivation.

mustang sally said...

Mama must be havin' a hard time finding the pool. She said she'd be back after she landed and got settled by the pool. Unless of course she is being entertained by the cabana boys. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think 10 of us should get together and purchase ..... 2260 Sunset Plaza. That way we can have the best parties in LA because the foyer designed as a nightclub, get laid, hold onto the property for 7 + years and double our money, each have right to stay in the place for about 36 days, be the envy of all your friends as they know you have the best view of LA basin, the perfect place to invite chicks back, do a few lines and bang her silly while being video tapped.

(Bea) said...

My guess is she's giving serious thought to not even posting anything new after yesterday's mess.

eddie from pdx said...

I think I need to go to rehab. I'm absolutly addicted too this blog.

I wonder what Mama's been up to.

mustang sally said...

(Bea)
That could be. There are a few that try to create a "mess". What I don't understand is the rest falling for it and actually making a "mess". If people could just learn to ignore. The creators would know that they shouldn't even try because it wouldn't work.
Anon 8:21
WOW!

Anonymous said...

mustang sally - go finger yourself

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 8:21,

Pul-leeze! Enough of that damn concrete mausoleum; I'll pitch into a trust provided it's formed to dynamite the eyesore . . .

mustang sally said...

Anon 9:26

Again...W.O.W.

Anonymous said...

Sandpiper...thank you so much for your kind words. I got nervous when I saw all those fours...four is a bad luck number in Asian culture...although I'm not Asian, my friends beliefs have indeed influenced me!

I am so glad to be going home. I can't wait to smell the salty air, walk at night on the pier and see all the giant freight ships lining up to go into port...wondering where they are from, and what cargo they're carrying...I want to see mountains...drive out into the desert amongst the ocotillos; feel the warm winds and get lost in the sweet silence of the Mojave.

I didn't know I could miss it all so much. I met some very fine folks in the Midwest. However, it is truly time to move on.

Thank you again for your kind words!

lil' gay boy said...

Anon 6:40,

Enjoy and be safe on your trip; take some back roads and see the real America if you can.

I never cease to be surprised by what I find on untrammeled paths . . .

bentley said...

Hey, Eddie from Portland helped me out with a new wine - Oregon has some real gems!

LGB, my dear, dear friend. Just thinking about air travel with 5 little bastards gives me the sweats. It was incentive for me to get my ass into flying lessons and fly 'em places myself.

I love Sharon Stone's house. What gives? I also love her Bentley - damn!

Anonymous said...

I think 10 of the people in my head should get together and purchase ..... a cardboard box in front of 2260 Sunset Plaza. That way we can have the best parties in LA because we can add a second box as a nightclub, get laid, hold onto the boxes for 5 days and find new boxes when the garbage man takes them, each have right to stay in the place for about 36 minutes, be the joke of all your homeless friends as they know you have the smallest box, the worst place to invite chicks back, draw some chalk lines and bang on trash cans while being video taped by LAPD before they bust our asses.