Friday, March 7, 2008

Your Mama Hears...

...That music icon, Oscar winning actress and force of nature Cher has very quietly floated her opulent Malee-boo mansion on to the market as a "pocket listing." Which basically means it's not really for sale, but she might entertain the right offer from the right person.

Here's what happened. Your Mama received word from a source we'll call Mrs. Claus who whispered to us that Cher's people recently approached another may-jor pop icon's people to inquire if she might be interested in buying Cher's behemoth beach shack for $25,000,000. The offer was declined.

A second source, whom we'll call The Malee-boo Madam, divulged that IF (and that's an seriously big if) Cher were to consider selling her cherished 13,126 square foot house, the ladee wants more than $40,000,000 for the trouble of packing up her all her brazilliant Bob Mackie outfits and high tailing it from her very personal and dee-lishusly dramatic "version of Venetian" digs overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

Make of that what you will. Just gossip and rumor kids, just gossip and rumor.

67 comments:

popeye-the-sailor said...

what, no pix of cher in her "saturday jeans?"

her place looks like a costume.

popeye-the-sailor said...

what, no pix of cher in her "saturday jeans?"

her place looks like a costume.

Tidal Wave said...

Say what you will about the whole "venetian thing" but this place could be dee-voon!

realtor on vacation said...

realtors = idiots in denial

and the ones that aea on a 3 year vacation are the only sensible ones and they will be back in business the others I highly doubt it....

a star refuses to pay 25MM for a shack abd yet they raise the price to 40 MM ?

I have a ferrari collection, I paid 3MM for it 8 years ago and I will only sell it if you give me 30 MM

any takers ?

does cher come with the place ?? if she does then maybe 40 MM would be fair

Anonymous said...

what do realtors have to do with whatever number cher might put on her house?

Anonymous said...

I finally figured out the new priceing scheme the realtors are using.........

Double or triple the price that Zillow says the property is worth, and if you are a star double or triple the price after that, then you will be in alingment of what realtors tell their clients their properties are worth, and they may get lucky and sell it for that........ or the properties may end up on the market for a long time thus losing their value at a more than 5 times decline.....

Or if you cut the price of what Zillow says the property is worth in half you will sell it right away, then again the 40MM is a make me move price right ?

pch said...

Lately I've been all about adding greenery, so I guess it's time to switch up my criticism: There are way too many huge palm trees crowded in between the house and the road. Thought the effect would mellow with time, but no dice. It's like the Land of the Giant Palm. I'm amazed anyone can get to the front door.

Alessandra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alessandra said...

I don't care for Cher's landscaping because it is out of place and not environmentally friendly to have plants that belong in humid, hot Florida instead of warm, yet not particularly damp, Malibu. The marine layer has its effect, of course, but still, I'd prefer more indigenous plants, please.

Can't fault Cher for the craftsmanship that went into this home. While the decor makes me cringe (there's only so much tufting I can tolerate), the house itself is at least a work of art. Is it a work of art I want to buy? No.

"The zillow on my pillow always helps me fall asleep..." Zillow is not the voice of God, people. It is a computer program. I would take its estimates very seriously in a suburban tract home community where the properties are fairly homogeneous. I would not take Zillow as the gospel truth in real estate anywhere where properties are a broad mix of styles, sizes and conditions. That's not to say that $40MM for this house could be ridiculous; I'm not commenting on Cher's aspirations for a sale price.

Puh-leeze said...

Zillow? Are you kidding?

Zillow is a toy and not a tool for determining real property value. Read the fine print about how it works...

It sets values based on previous sales in a certain geographic radius.

So if you have a a good number of sales in a homogenous group of houses (like tract homes, it can be accurate.

If you have a variety of home sizes, parcel sizes, build and reno quality, it gets values TOTALLY and embarrassingly wrong.

If your neighborhoos has had only a few home sales in the last 12months to 3 years, it also goes ridiculous wonky. No home has sold in my neighborhood in more than 3 years so Zillow sets prices in my neighborhood that were accurate 3 years ago but have nothing to do with what number they sell at now.

Zillow prices my house $350,000 less that it's appraised value (which is probably less than what it would sell for even in this crappy market). In addition to almost no sales in this nabe in years (lots of long term residents here) the reason is that some houses on my block are 900SF cottages on .12 acre lots and some are 1800 SF farmhouses on .33 acre lots and some are 2500 sf on 5 acre lots and Zillow is unable to accurately differentiate between a 900SF bungalow that would sell for 450k and a 2500 SF Victorian that would sell for 750k. It simply averages so that both are then worth $600k when in actuality, neither is worth $600k

Make sense?

I have to be honest, and I don't mean to be an asshole, but to use Zillow to determine house value is kind of amateur and naive. Sorry, that's just my opinion. I'm sure some of you Zillowites will disagree.

so_chic_darling said...

Every single thing,all the gothic furniture and even the gowns were sold off on ebay a while ago for charity.So the place may be empty or a team of nice gay decorators might have redone it.
Usually I don't much care for regional or historical pastiche in architecture but this house is gorgeous and despite the rantings of the let's hate the real estate agents in the comments here it's the kind of unique property that you can ask a huge amount for as there will always be plenty of rich people willing to pay whatever for such a unique and well located property.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely zillow is a toy. You explained it beautifully.

the only one who may possibly dispute this logic would be anon 8:00 (property pimp and bigdaddyj).

If so, please can we ingore him?

so_chic_darling said...

Why would ANYONE pay any attention to what zillow says about values?I just tried it for my street in New York and it's a fucking joke!

Anonymous said...

The zillow on my pillow! Thanks, Alessandra, I love reading that book to my kids, who are now a bit too old for it, but I don't care.

Anonymous said...

Well with all of the liar loans out there who really knows what anything is really worth now ? I think Zillow is pretty accurate, like you said nothing in your neighborhood has sold in 3 years, maybe they need to lower their prices to or below zillow estimates then I am sure they will sell..........

If this was Europe, China, Japan, India I am sure the realtors, appraisers and the bankers mistakes would be hidden, but this is America and when miatakes are made all is revealed and the latest revelation is that we really so not konw what properties are worth these days, I guess that they are worth what a buyer is willing to pay for them.........

I am starting to get emails from condo builders in other states asking me to make an offer any offer on their places, they are telling me to ignore the asking prices........

Thay are calling it "name your price and I may sell day"

If the rich can afford to hold onto their properties for the next 5 years I am sure they will get what they want in the end......

Cher's realator said...

Every year the population of the United States goes up by a couple of million people yet as far as I can tell they are not making any more land,so although there may be some kind of correction going on in the crappy parts of the country,and certain cities where certain losers should never have been given loans,there will always be a stong demand for land and homes in this country period.

Luxury Homes In Florida said...

Please someone buy the house so we don't have to endure one of her music concert tours again. She was great in the day but the day has gone.

Grumpy old economist said...

Soon the only thing of value in this country will be land and water.The Dollar is already a worthless piece of paper.The government is fooling all of us buy just printing more and more money.This will lead to hyperinflation and the collapse of the Dollar and the US economy very soon.
Sorry for the bad news but I'm too old to care any more.

Anonymous said...

Cher's realator

are you part of the pack that is in denial ?

you should start to ask for upfront money, a retainer as a lawyer would before you try to sell this place, or get a job at mickey d's, walmart because you will make more there than as cher's realtor

One thing I like about superstars is that they for the most part expect you to work for free.....

Then again I am sure that when your house goes into forclosure you will be begging your client to reduce the price by millions so that you can get your commission............. that is if your are not fired first......

Alessandra said...

Anon 8:58am...with a 16 month old, it's all Dr. Seuss all the time up in here. I love it when she acts out "Hop on Pop".

So, we're in agreement that Zillow is a toy and not a reliable tool for assessing a property's value. It's useful to find out what has sold around a property or to get a cool map, but for appraisal purposes, it's just spit-balling at best.

The right buyer for Cher's house is someone who doesn't want beach access but who does want spectacular ocean views. And since it's practically a stone fortress, she doesn't have to worry as much about fires.

lil' gay boy said...

Alessandra,

Didn't that castle burn during the last fire?

But what I'm sure is really on everyone's mind here is:

"Is this where Cher twisted her ankle?"

Big Ed said...

Alessandra

Are you really going to believe what an appraiser says what a property is worth these days ?

THEY ARE LIARS !!!!!!!!

for the most part anyway, they appraise what the banker, realtor, weller want them to appraise the property for.......

An honest ethical appraiser with integrity is broke appraiser esp in these days.......


The problem here is that there were millions of realtors, appraisers, anyone could get a license as long as you did not have a criminal record......

What happens when millions have the same job ? well you have to lie to get the work..... the money ....... to make a living........

It has been proved over and over again......

These are sad days we live in indeed.........+

puh-leeze said...

anon 9:07

no properties in my neighborhood have sold for three years because none have been offered for sale...

the lack of sales in my area has NOTHING to do with high prices, but rather that my immediate neighborhood has very stable and long term owners.

we were the newcomers her 4 years ago...the newest folks before that had been here 8 years already then.

Zillow is not a legitimate tool for valuation. If you want to think so, well go on with your bad self. But you end up sounding like you don't really know what you're talking about.

Zillow your own house. Is it accurate? Do you live in a varied area or in a homogenous one?

The Hollywood Mayor said...

Cher's realtor is right...

land like this will always hold value. How many mega-mansions with spectacular pieces of land can they build in Malibu? The answer... not tooo many more. This land will always be worth good $$.

She might not get her price right away, but she's not dying to move either... that's why it's a POCKET LISTING. Eventually someone will offer her something she likes and she'll take it but she's obviously in no rush or she'd probably put it on the market for around $20M.

The high end of real estate has never been higher for all you doom and gloomers... stop talking about Malibu, Bel-Air, Beverly Hills and nice areas of Los Angeles like they're the Mid-West...

They aren't!!!!! : )

The Hollywood Mayor said...

Big Ed:

You're right, there are a lot of bad appraisers out there looking to please the lender but just because a million people have their licenses doesn't mean all the top ones are liars. You have your share of good and bad in every profession.

I know several great realtors out there who are truthful and I'd use at the drop of a dime...

I'm sure there's millions of lawyers, doctors, dentists, accountants, financial advisors etc that I wouldn't trust a lick and shouldn't..... but I would never call ALL people in those professions liars or cheats..

That's IGNORANT Ed

Average Joe said...

Hollywood Mayor

I have a question for you.........

If there were not subprime/liar loans that have pushed the median from 100k in LA to over 700k in the last 5 years, when back then you could buy a house for 200k in BH on the flats or an amazing house in the hills on the bird streets with spectactular views for 1MM

Without the subprime/liar loans what would chers mansion, nancys and many others be worth today ?

in real numbers......

Thanks

Bill said...

Long time reader, first time commenter.

Let's have a reality check.

It really does not matter if someone who can not afford a $40M house thinks this house is overpriced or not.

And it matters even less if Zillow says it's not worth $40M.

If someone is willing to pay $40M for it, then guess what, it's worth $40M to that buyer.

I know it's fun to trot out your pithy remarks and all, but in reality, your opinions of property value are totally irrelevant unless you're looking to buy a house.

Don't think this house is worth $40M? Don't buy it. It's really as simple as that.

Average Joe said...

Hollywood Mayor

also how far are those numbers from Zillows, I personally think that 50% off from Zillows estimates is a more accurate number to what real estate should be selling for......

again without the liar loans, subprime loans, ......better yet if country wide did not exist where would real estate be in todays numbers ?

Bill said...

Average Joe,

All due respect. What YOU think a house is worth based on information you get from Zillow is totally beside the point. Seriously. IT DOES NOT MATTER.

Have housing prices become over inflated? Yes, I agree with you on that. But your Adherence to Zillow like it's some sort of viable market indicator makes you look like a teenage economist.

We get it. You think ALL real estate is insanely overpriced and everyone is in for a rude awakening when the dollar crashes and their houses become worthless and you swoop in to scoop them up with the $100k you've saved over the last 10 years. WE ALL GET IT. You've made that point here a thousand times. Please. Stop.

Besides, this blog is about curtains and furniture and pretty architectural lines and all you want to do is quote Zillow and scream about your thoughts on the economy. Aren't there other blogs that would be more appreciative of your vein of thought?

Big Ed said...

Bill

it matters because then all of the others in the neighborhood will jack up their prices..........

I and many of my friends are looking to buy but eveytime we do some idiot jacks up the prices on their homes so we have to wait.

It is easy to talk S*** when you are not spending any of your own money.......

Average Joe said...

Okay Bill whatever you say.....

Averge Joe said...

Bill did you forget to take your meds today ???

Or did you just bust out of rehab ???

Anonymous said...

Everyday, more & more comments sound like they were left by schoolchildren.

Alessandra said...

I have to say, commenting on people's meds or mental health when disagreeing with their posts is so 1999. Not to feed trolls or anything, but seriously, isn't it just far more productive to say "I disagree with your reasoning and this (example X) is why"?

But then I'm just a middle-aged mommy who doesn't know any better...

Anonymous said...

This just in the congressional committee on CSPAN is talking about putting into law on how much you can ask for you home, the amount asked can be a small percentage in accordance with what the economy is doing...... in other words gone will be the days of selling your home for double, triple or higher of what you originally paid for it in a 5 year period......

this may be to little to late but if they pass it the outcome will be very interesting....

Anonymous said...

It's only a buyer's market if you are buying, otherwise it is a missed opportunity. "buyer to verify all material concerns and facts"

Anonymous said...

is there a link to that cspan thing. that sounds interesting.

Anonymous said...

never happen

Alessandra said...

That will never happen. The very basis of a free market economy is the ability to ask for whatever price you want. What you actually get is another issue. Housing prices are in part set by supply and demand. While there were unscrupulous Realtors, lender and appraisers out there during our most recent boom, I can tell you from experience that the reason why home prices soared, in part, is because there was a severe lack of inventory. When you have 50 buyers putting in offers on a single home, that has nothing to do with false appraisals or liar's loans and everything to do with a shortage of available homes on the market.

Anonymous said...

12 comments on this string are the same guy.

Barren Karen said...

All you bratty bitches should listen to and take a lesson from Alessandra, the lovely voice of reason and calm.

Thank you.

Cher was a hot momma in her day. Now she's looking freaky. I don't love her style, but I do so love her total commitment to her chosen decor.

I read she wanted to re-do this place with some sort of crazy Morroccan Indo Asian theme or some shit.

Anonymous said...

I can't see Moroc-indo-asi theme as being pleasing to the eye.

Bigdaddyj said...

Simply put, a house is worth what someone is willing to pay for it at any given time...sometimes you can overprice and the right buyer will come along and match it, and other times you can have a perfectly good, reasonably priced house and it can languish because there's no market for it...real estate is more intangible in price than other hard assets (gold, oil, etc) because there is no set price since essentially every home (yes, even every condo and tract home) is unique...as for Zillow, the more comparable sales of similar homes in your neighborhood that have sold definitely determines the accuracy...I've seen very accurate Zillow valuations (almost to the dollar properties have sold for) and some that are way under or way over, it all depends on the amount of data they have to work with...I think given a few more years to accumulate data, Zillow and similar sites will begin to get more and more uniformly accurate...

pch said...

I once had an assistant who was a fashionista nonpareil and loved it when designers and models behaved very, very badly. She delighted in regaling me with tales of egomaniacal excess, and insisted it would all be deathly boring without them.

I suppose I take the same attitude when it comes to patently insane asking prices for super-high-end real estate. We can say owners or their agents are nuts, and maybe they are. We can guess the price it should probably go for, and maybe we're right. But there's a lot of entertainment value in watching Cher try to get $40 million she doesn't really need -- certainly more than a swift sale with a "correct" or even "aggressive" price tag. Plus, this ask-the-earth strategy has been known to work...so why not give it a go if you're not pressed for time or cash?

lil' gay boy said...

PCH is right; Cher can ask for, and get, whatever she's willing to for this house.

It's well built, nicely located and will sell eventually, whatever that price may be - she's in no hurry.


The sky has been falling in one way or another all my life, Chicken Littles, and will continue to do so. That's what a free market economy does.

Ups & downs, downs & ups . . .

Some of you talk of Zillow the same way Linda Evans talks about Ramtha.

so_chic_darling said...

Average joe said in this thread a while back that five years ago you could have bought a house in the flats of Beverly Hills for 200 grand.As I'm not from LA I can't say for sure,but could some of the locals on here confirm that.I don't however think that it could be true.

cher's realtor said...

Maybe a ground floor studio apartment facing an alley.

lil' gay boy said...

An alley with a chalk outline on it.

Anonymous said...

Average joe,who's Nancy?

boxersVsBriefs said...

the house seems as bloated as a song by Celine Dion sung at full throttle.

Anonymous said...

i am not joe, but.. the answer is NANCY FROM CARBON BEACH

Average Joe said...

PCH and Big Daddyj

Thanks for your insight

Anonymous said...

I hear her Sierra Towers condo is Ab-Fab!!! What does she need the big beach house for anymore? She is Vegas bound babee. Maybe she and Elton can carpool from their condos in the sky???

Viva! said...

The house is just too damn big for one person. If I had the Malibu dream I'd be in one of those humble cottages right along the shore (yes I would also have to have a death wish, one good wave and those folks are *screwed*)

I've also heard her Sierra Towers condo is great. Can you imagine Cher, Elton John and Joan Collins all having a girls lunch at their respective Sierra Towers condos? Heaven.

Bigdaddyj said...

The lady does have a rep for building or remodeling homes and making a huge profit on them...I was always partial to the funky Egyptian-style place on one of the Canyons in BHPO (I forget if it's on Coldwater or Benedict) that she sold to Eddie Murphy a while back, if nothing else it was definitely unique...

Anonymous said...

I heard that Tina Turner and her bf. Erwin had considered it when Tina thought to sale of some properties she had in Beverly Hills, and that she was going to remodel it and make it similar to her estate in the South of France - as she wanted to spend more time state side and focus on her music.

lil' gay boy said...

Tina's house in France is stunning; the woman knows how to decorate a home for style and comfort; not to mention its fabulous views.

She could really make something of this place.

The Hollywood Mayor said...

Average Joe,

Do yourself a favor and stop quoting Zillow... it has no place for true value in Los Angeles where the architecture and topography varies from one place to the next (unless your refering to the ghettos). To even dream of quoting Zillow while talking about a mansion in Malibu is pure fool's play that I won't even entertain. As Bill said, if someone is willing to pay for it, then it's worth that to them.

If I had $20M + to pay for a mansion in Malibu, I'd consider it!! People collect $100M pieces of art... do you think a house might fit in there????

Big Ed: you have a point about people raising their house prices stupidly but that obviously shows those sellers' stubborness or lack of motivation to sell. Where are your friends looking to buy?... I'm curious...

lil' gay boy said...

With all due respect, Mr. Mayor, we've seen a couple of examples on this site where the buyer pulled the listing, raised it an astonishing sum, then sold it.

As you said,

"If I had $20M + to pay for a mansion in Malibu, I'd consider it!!"

Viva! said...

Tina Turner's mansion in Nice is absolutely gorgeous. It is decorated in such an effortlessly fabulous way...it's very Tina.

Tina and Cher have been friends from waaaaaaaay back. Perhaps she was the major pop star it was offered to. Still, I don't think Tina Turner is one for living in the USA.

Big Ed said...

The Hollywood Mayor

We are looking to buy in the sunset plaza doheny hills area.

sandpiper said...

Re: Zillow inaccuracy...My last transaction was two-fold: new build value plus land price; two recorded transactions. Zillow lists my entire place for value of land only. So much for accuracy.

The Hollywood Mayor said...

Big Ed...

Those are hip and fairly affluent areas... you will have to ride out that wave. Your best bet is coming across a pocket listing before it hits the market and it will probably be a fixer. I know of a couple over $4M...

Anonymous said...

It's understood that Cher's homes are always 'pocket listed' and available to qualified buyers for the right price. Look to her history of buying, renovating, advertising on the pages of Architectural Digest, and eventually selling. It's a pattern that's so well established and predictable with her, that it's a bit humerous to find it being reported as 'news'. Years ago, Britney Spears toured Cher's home twice after marrying Kevin Federline before deciding it wasn't kid friendly enough.. hello.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with you anon 9:26. Cher is the original celebrity house flipper. Particularly when it comes to her primary So. Cal. residence, when she opens her home's interiors to publication, it's a pretty safe bet to assume it's pocket listed and she's already looking forward to her next great building/renovation real estate adventure.

José Medio said...

I'm going to buy in the Bird Streets next February after the new president changes our currency to pesos and I will be able to get a 6 million dollar house for 65 million pesos!

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