Wednesday, March 26, 2008

UPDATE: Sidney Kimmel

In some parts of sunny Florida the real estate market is in the terlit. In fact, some developers in the less desirable zip codes are practically giving away newly built houses to anyone with twelve dollars and a pulse. However, down in posh Palm Beach there seem to be plenty of buyers at the very tippy top of the purchasing pool.

It was only late February 2008 when octogenarian apparel titan and quasi successful film producer Sidney Kimmel pushed his Thierry Despont designed ocean front pile onto the market with a breathtaking $81,500,000 asking price and already the house is rumored and reported to be under contract for a number above $75,000,000.

All the hoity toity and high class real estate agents involved in the spine tingling deal are mum on who the big bucks buyer is, but listing agent Paulette Koch is on record with the Palm Beach Daily News as saying that there were at least 20 qualified parties who eyeballed the 32,316 square foot limestone clad colossus. Now here's where Your Mama recommends the children hold on to their britches because according to Miz Koch numerous offers were presented in the last few weeks. Numerous! For an $81,500,000 damn house!

Miz Koch, well known around Palm Beach as one of the finest and most successful real estate agents plying her trade up and down Ocean Boulevard, says that other interested parties included celebs, hedge hogs, stinking rich sports figures, a Saudi prince (who you know has more than enough money to buy this place and then brazenly knock it down), as well as Fortune 500 CEOs, Europeans with favorable exchange rates "and other captains of industry." Naturally, the dignified Miz Koch didn't call anyone a hedge hog or stinking rich. But Your Mama did. Yes we did.

Anyhoo, it's only a matter of time before the name of the buyer is leaked and all the real estate gossips go berserk trying to be the first one to report and confirm the name. In the meantime let's take out our bedazzled abacus and spend a few minutes quietly figuring out the mind numbing yearly taxes.

35 comments:

mr. smiley said...

bedazzled abacus - two words i never thought i would see next to eachother.

laughs all around mama

:)

average joe said...

I don't pay taxes because all my savings are in euros

Anonymous said...

Property taxes are 2% a year in florida so that is a 1.6 MM tax bill a year.

real average joe said...

averaage joe 11:06

you fraud

Are you that much of a loser that you have to lie and try to pass yourself on as me ??? who ever you aee.

get a life

and just because I have euros as well as us dollars in banks in both countries, I still have to pay my taxes, there is no way around that.

are you really that much of an idiot ?

Anonymous said...

Avie JoJo

You should be flattered. This is probably the most attention you've had in years.

lucy said...

Oh, goodness, taxes are NOTHING compared to the insurance bill. Homeowners insurance (with a hurricane rider) in Florida is beyond painful.

Of course, if someone can afford the house, you assume they can afford the upkeep, but don't think that taxes are necessarily the scariest part of taking care of that house...

real average joe's best friend from rehab said...

I have two thousand Euros put aside for a beach house,I'm just waiting for the market to crash.

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

The taxes are far more expensive than the insurance bill. Taxes are roughly $1.5 million. Insurance bill isnt even close to that! A little common sense please...

real average joe said...

For the record I do not know anyone on this site

I also know that there is no way anyone could buy a beach house for 2000 euros anywhere in the world.

I am more realistic, I would say a million euros would buy a decent hut on the beach.

Anonymous said...

avie jojo's bff,

Are you going to take your bff "avie jojo the power broker" up on his genious strategy to buy a beach house for $3M (even if it's really worth $10M) because the owner paid $1M in the 1970s -- and he only wants a $2M profit?

the real real average joe said...

i dont know why people keep using my name and making fun of me. i will be able to buy a house with my euros at half price. i am waiting until the prices are normal again. anyone who buys a house at 2008 prices is an idiot. the prices will be at 1970 levels as soon as bush overthrows the government so he can stay in power.

above average joe said...

I'm avg joe's big brother, & I know for a fact that the real avg joe keeps his peso's in a very secure piggy bank in his van down by the river. One day soon, he's gonna buy a brand new van for half the price you bitches paid!

real average joe's proctologist said...

Big Brother,
We were in the midst of trying to locate your brother's brain when he abruptly fled the procedure, taking with him scopes and probes still in place.

These instruments are value at 2500 rubels. As guardian, you are liable should he not be returned with said apparatus intact.

Bigdaddyj said...

Anyway, as for the house...(LOL)I have to say I'm not surprised it went so quickly, and I think it's primarily because there's so little contemporary architecture (at least of this scale and quality) in Palm Beach, so this is definitely different from your average Mizner..as for the price...it's Palm Beach, those people never feel the recessions that come and go, perhaps the one and only town in the country that can truly be said about...

average joe said...

I'm keeping these instruments up my ass while the ruble gets devalued, then I'll sell for Euros, triple my investment, & pay you bitches back for half the price suckers! Ha!

pch said...

I'm still in a state of serious lust over this house.

above average joe said...

I wondered what hurt my penis when I put it in my little brother Average Joe last night.

so_chic_darling said...

There is no such thing as a recession for the people who buy at this level,in fact a recession is great for the rich with cash as they can buy assets at a discount.

lucy said...

Anon- Buy insurance on a beach house in Florida lately?

I carry insurance (with a hurricane rider) on a home in Florida, so I'm not without common sense in this area.

My point was......never mind. You either know or you don't.

Anonymous said...

I agree Lucy, I remember getting earthquake insurance in LA in the years just after Northridge. A lot of companies wouldn't even write policies. We only got it on a new purchase because we already have existing policies on other properties. But it was crazy expensive. It is gone down in the past decade but as soon as we have another good earthquake it will be insane prices again.

real average joe said...

To all of you average joe frauds

EAT THE CORN OUT OF MY SH********

real average joe said...

to the average joe frauds

This is all very entertaining, please continue and make asses out of yourselves.


LOL

Average Joe's Mommie said...

You nasty children need to STOP..I mean JUST STOP! Poor Joe is crying in a fetal position in the closet while sucking his thumb. He isn't wearing his Depends and I think he crapped and wet himself again. His wife left him for a lesbian real estate agent. His older brother is turning tricks for tomorrow's Jack Daniels. No one is here to help me change him and it is stinking up the place. He hasn't been like this since we brought him home from that trip to visit Neverland Ranch in the 80s.

average joe said...

Average Joe's Mommie

you are funny are you commenting from a mental ward ?

you sound like a mental patient, you need to seek help

good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Month/Year Median home price in LA Y/Y % Change
June 2000 $203,000 2.5%
June 2001 $228,000 12.3%
June 2002 $269,000 18.0%
June 2003 $313,000 16.4%
June 2004 $414,000 32.4%
June 2005 $475,000 14.7%
June 2006 $517,000 8.8%
June 2007 $545,000 4.8%
Feb. 2008 $460,000 -12.9%

Anonymous said...

Completely out of topic, but mama do you have the 411 of the Brooke Astor apartment that is to be sold?

bentley said...

There are some strange things happening here. Bow and arrow, very weird.

To Mama's earlier point, I think the Windex costs for those giant windows that sink into the ground, and the staff costs to keep them clean would, for me, be the most staggering expense :) Taxes and insurance I can handle.

I'll keep my pocket of foggy, majestic Atlantic shoreline, thank you.

sandpiper said...

Hi 1:06,

I'm so glad you're inquiring about Brooke Astor's NY apartment.

The recent press about brokers being interviewed to represent the sale of her NY apartment is the first that has been written about any activity in this estate for months.

The last real news was in November, 2007, when Brooke’s only son, Anthony Marshall, had been arrested on 18 counts, including grand larceny and forgery of Brooke Astor's signature, with regard to the alledged tampering of his mother’s final will; modified long after she was no longer lucid. Tony’s lawyer buddy, Francis X. Morrissey Jr., is up on similar charges.

When asked to comment about the anticipated sale of Brooke’s NYC home, Anthony Marshall’s wife, Charlene, was quoted as saying they are “too busy” to know the details. SHE MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. If she could be truthful for once, she would have said they have no control over the estate as hubby and the lawyer have been stripped any control of the estate.

It is my hope that before the courtroom dust settles, charges will also be leveled against Charlene – or at least that the court fully investigate Charlene's personal gain realized from the “alleged” will tampering -- and that she will be forced to relinquish Brooke’s home in Maine (which is now in Charlene’s name only). I’d also love to see Brooke’s many long-time faithful employees receive the monetary inheritances promised to them in the will’s iteration that was drafted while she was still of sound mind.

Anonymous said...

OT: little gay decorators may be in trouble...


EXECS 'BEAR-LY' $URVIVING
WIVES TIGHTENING THEIR MONEY BELTS
By KRISTINA COOKE and CHELSEA EMERY, Reuters
TOUGH TIMES: Bear Stearns' downfall has cost top decorator Darren Henault business from the firm's executive wives.

March 27, 2008 -- Less than 48 hours after news broke that Bear Stearns & Co. Inc. would be bought for a fire-sale price, the wives of two of the firm's senior investment bankers called their high-end interior designer to cancel their contracts.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/03272008/news/regionalnews/execs_bear_ly_urviving_103747.htm

average joe's mommie said...

It's ok joe, come to mommie. I'll protect you from the mean people who live in the real world. Here, take your pills.

pch said...

The title switcheroo on Mrs Astor's Maine house was a sly little maneuver, wasn't it? I didn't realize that had been reported.

Sidney Kimmel said...

That's hot

sandpiper said...

PCH, sly is right. Slippery is the thought that comes to mind for me.

With each of Anthony's codicils (3) to reframe the will, Brooke's wishes were almost completely erased; redirecting everything to him, and upon his passing, to that mouthpiece that pulls his strings. The son's a spineless PW'ed wuss, if you ask me. This tragedy really bothers me.

I'd like justice to be served, if for no other reason than to p*ss off Charlene.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the Astor saga is so like soap opera.

Is it a case of a small town opportunist who wiggled her way into the very sanctum of New York's queen of society through the latter's vulnerable and love-deprived son, and schemed to have all the riches at season/series finale? Or is it a you-and-me-against-the-(high society)world true love story of good yet cruelly misunderstood and maligned people?

A matriarch, her love-hungry son, his scandalous wife (who left her husband who was the preacher of the matriarch for him!), his embittered son, high society snobs/friends/opportunists, politicians, banks, furious cultural institutions, lawyers, doctors, feuding household staff, real estate agents (natch), and dogs! Whew, what a cast of characters!

sandpiper said...

Anon 7:59,

Accurate synopsis. Well done.

Brooke was so devastated by Charlene dumping the sleepy town minister that she left provisions in her will for that church.