Thursday, March 13, 2008

UPDATE: Michael Jackson

Thanks to our tipster Billy Blabbermouth who thoughtfully linked us over to Yahoo News, Your Mama has learned that Michael Jackson's people are out working the phones and yakking to all the major press outlets, swearing up and down that Neverland Ranch has finally been pulled from the jaws of foreclosure. As the children know, the tattered and tarnished Santa Ynez Valley ranch was scheduled to be auctioned off on the Santa Barbara county courthouse steps next week, on March 19.

Apparently the financially strapped entertainer has reached some sort of "confidential agreement" with Fortress Investments Group, the hedge fund who holds the $24,00,000+ loan that Jackson secured with Neverland Ranch as collateral. The secret agreement reportedly allows the former King of Pop to retain ownership of the all but abandoned 2,600 ranch that was once his beloved home. As far as Your Mama knows, The White Lady hasn't been to Neverland Ranch since he fled to Bahrain in 2005 in the after math of his tawdry child molestation trial.

A unnamed source close to Jackson said it's unclear whether Jackson will keep the ranch or not. However, if indeed it is true that some kind of agreement has been made with Fortress–and Your Mama is not convinced that it is, since Jackson's people have been known to talk out of their poo poo holes in the past–Your Mama can not imagine that any agreement Fortress might make with The Gloved One would not require that he liquidate the ranch in a short and specified period of time for a dollar amount that will pay back the loan to Fortress in full...and with any additional penalties they may be imposing. Fortress has shown the the financial patience of Job with this never ending saga of Neverland Ranch, but surely they have a limit to their leniency and generosity, right?

Now Michael, you listen to Your Mama here. Enough already. Ee-nuff! Put down the damn Jeezis Juice, get your head screwed on straight for twenty minutes and tell that krazy talking Raymone Bain to get on the horn with a hoity toity real estate agent and put that scene of the alleged crime up for sale and be done with it. Your Mama is tired and tuckered out with this crap. Crap! Talk show queen and property princess Ellen Degeneres has sold a few ranches up in that neck of the woods recently, so we're sure she'd be more than happy to refer you to her real estate agent. Seriously! Call. Her.

As for all the reports in the British tabs about The White Lady packing up and moving his kids over to Devon in the UK? Uh, we don't think so. The man can't afford his own damn house in the U-nited States, where's he going to get the Poundage to buy something across the pond? Please.

Photos: Michael Jackson For Sale

22 comments:

Bigdaddyj said...

If this is what Fortress Investment Group LLC, one of the first publicly traded hedge-funds (ticker symbol FIG on the NYSE) is wasting their investor's money on, then they deserve the over 2/3rd's drop in their share price over the last year...

Anonymous said...

i am happy. it would be extreemly weird if someone else owned neverland besides mj.

for real.

Anonymous said...

According to certain media reports yesterday he's moving to the U.K - They're going into contract on 2 estates in Devon apparently.

Anonymous said...

It will be interesting to see what the future holds for Neverland. I find it hard to believe anyone would try to work out a deal with MJ--especially considering he has defaulted on the current loan--but I guess stranger things have happened.

Anonymous said...

Off Topic (sorry, but the Bon Jovi thread is too crowded)

The Bon Jovi loft happens to be the self-same one that Madonna was interested in way back (like nearly 11 years ago) - the only internets-good reference left avail is a Page Six mold complaint from 1998, but the developers used the rumor plenty to push the rest of the bldg - back then, the address was 583 B'way, but they moved both the address and the entrance to the back on Mercer St so the rich and famous wouldn't have to rub elbows with us mere mortals going to the Musee - which of course has since then moved on to its brand new home on the Bowery.

On a culinary side note, Honamura An was right next door, but sadly no more

Keep up the good work,
fatbear

Anonymous said...

The change of entrance was probably due to Mercer having more cache than Broadway. I mean, Broadway is a hell hole & I don't actually think I know anyone who would willingly live right on Broadway. It's bad enough just trying to get past the millions of tourists that seem to descend on the street to gawk into the windows of Prada & Dean&Deluca ... I can't imagine living on it.

Sorry, back to M.J!

bentley said...

Oh God, how I wish I'd never seen those little bronze children here and there by the house.

That's too much.

Certainly not what I expected the house to look like, either.

Bigdaddyj said...

Ooh Bentley, you're right, I didn't notice them 'til you pointed it out, that is creepy!

lil' gay boy said...

Bentley,

They bring to mind those shallow graves . . .

Will this sad saga never end?

so_chic_darling said...

Oh the creepy bronze children,they're buy John Seward Johnson.The worst living artist in America.Some of you may remember that he is one of the Johnson & Johnson heirs that fought with daddy's new Polish maid wife Basia over the estate and ended up getting not a penny over the one hundred million that he was given while daddy was alive,as were all the children.Turns out all the children ran through the 100 mil like water and wanted more.Well the judge said they should have been more careful and let the maid he wed keep the fortune!
Also remember that disturbing statue of a man with an open case that survived the 9/11 collapse?That was his too.

sandpiper said...

His people can spin this any way they want to. Bottom like: new owners on 3/19.

lil' gay boy said...

So_Chic,

Thank you!

I thought I was the only one alive who despised JSJ's work.

Every time I see an ad of his in Architectural Digest, it makes me want to undigest, if you get my meaning.

sandpiper said...

Oops! Typing without my glasses on again:

Correction...
Bottom LINE: new owners on 3/19.

Anonymous said...

LB, Yahoo. SP

caveman said...

i've always wondered about that freaks house. its got a munsterish vibe to it, very spooky, & glad walls are mute. wouldn't mind a tour tho.

i dig a chick in glasses.

sandpiper said...

Ohhh...CB, I'm a hottie in my readers, trust me. Way hot.

Raymone Bain said...

Look here people! I am trying to get a real job. Stop posting my name associated with that crazy white woman. She still owes me back salary.

I made it to the third interview with Jamie Spears to start representing Britney on her comeback. That is some good money so if you screw it up for me..so help me..I will find you!

caveman said...

i've been knowing that SB, brains, body & soul, smokin.

sandpiper said...

CB: How could I ever live up to those expectations? LOL, but you're spot on! Grrrrrr.

lil' gay boy said...

Another room for two, please?

;-)

wreckingball said...

eww those kid status are so creepy, there is one in Malibu, but a bunch in an abandoned Neverland Ranch is even more unnerving.

lil' gay boy said...

All of JSJ's work is creepy; this setting and it's history makes it all the more so . . .