Tuesday, March 18, 2008

LeAnn Rimes' Nashville Nest

SELLER: LeAnn Rimes and Dean Sheremet
LOCATION: Hillsboro Pike, Nashville, TN
PRICE: $2,395,000 (list); $2,125,000 (sale)
SIZE: 7,034 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We're going out on a limb with this one children, so if Your Mama has to put up a retraction, you'll remember we warned you that this discussion is currently based on rumor and gossip received from a well placed source.

Last week, the Naughty Nashvillian whispered in Your Mama's big ear that country crooning sensation LeAnn Rimes is about to put her Nashville, TN house on the market for around $2,300,000. Back in February of 2002, when she was a just bee-stung and Inuit-eyed canary of 19, little lovable LeAnn married herself off to a toothy and slim hipped dancer named Dean Sheremet. Now children, we know there is a lot of lurid speculation floating around the internets about Mister Sherement and his allegedly ambiguous carnal desires, but much to your potential chagrin, Your Mama will not be going there this morning. Well, okay, maybe we'll go there a little.

Property records show that in April of 2003, the newly wedded youngsters, barely old enough to vote and still too young to drink liquor legally, bought their stone faced luv nest for $1,700,000. All due respect to Mister Sheremet, but dancers just don't usually make very much money, so call it a hunch, but Your Mama imagines that it was mostly Miss Rimes' pile of money that was sunk into the down payment. Any of you people who have a problem with that can just put your old fashioned gender role notions back into your old fashioned pocketbooks. In this day and age where women work and earn their own boo-coo dinero, there ain't nuthin' wrong with a woman choosing to take care of her man the way that Miss Rimes does Mister Sheremet and all his hair gel.

While there isn't currently a listing for the property, good ol' Naughty Nashvillian sent us a cache of photos of the Rimes residence which sits on three flat acres out on bizzy Hillsboro Pike in an area south of Nashville that crawls with big name country-western stars. In fact, Australian cowboy Keith Urban and his frozen faced Australian actress wifey Nicole Kidman recently unloaded their barely lived in Nashville digs around the corner on gated Bancroft Place for $2,360,000.

Good heavens children, why would someone with Miss Rimes' big ol' bank account want to live on such a bizzy damn road? Your Mama confesses that we are not that familiar with the highways and bi-ways of Nashville, but this road has got to be bumper to bumper with speeding cars if it's called a "Pike," right?

We know that some of you uppity design snobs are going to scream and yowl that this place looks like the decorating version of dog vomit, and certainly this kind of upscale Pottery Barn style day-core is not Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's cup of sweet tea. However, we think that these two, and their nice gay decorator, have done a fine job in that the house looks livable and doesn't feature much that jumps up our day-core hackles or works on our gag reflex. Well, except for that upsetting wallpaper in the kitchen and that big ass romantic portrait of the the loving couple hanging up in the family room. We know many of you young married types love these big glossy things, but unfortunately, Your Mama takes a more cynical view of these saccharine and over posed portraits of wedded bliss.

Anyhoo, property records show the Rimes residence measures in at a grand ol' 7,034 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, which means that baby faced Dean must spend a great deal of time on his hands and knees scrubbing all half dozen of them terlits every week while the talented Missus brings home the big bacon working the stages and stadiums around the U.S. of A. We tease, we josh.

In addition to all the bedrooms and bathrooms, the domicile includes a big brick circular drive with loads of parking for guests, a large eat in kitchen that connects to the family room with its impressively coffered ceiling, and a "fun room" upstairs that includes one of those stoopid pool tables. Then there is the "man room" a long, narrow room stuffed full of leather club furniture and a lofty beamed ceiling. These two country cuties room is called the "man room" because Miss LeAnn personally picked out a giant portrait of a nekkid Asian ladee that's hanging over the fireplace and has generously placed a Playboy magazine or two around so that when dancing Dean needs a vagina visual, he's he's something at hand to reference.

Not to get all HGTV on your asses, but first floor master bedroom's focal point is clearly that fireplace stuffed full of candles that we think is meant to add an element of romance. And let's not forget the big four poster marital bed that apparently does not get as much bouncing action as horndog Dean might like, at least that what he says, repeatedly, on an old MTV Cribs episode you can see on the YouTube.

Out back there's plenty of room for a pool, spa and tennis court, but alas, there property currently offers none of those things. Your Mama doesn't imagine the usually touring Miss LeAnn has much time for flopping around in a pool or flinging a racket on a tennis court anyway.

If indeed the Naughty Nashvillian is correct (and we think he is) and Miss LeAnn and Dean are selling up and moving on, Your Mama has to wonder, why? At 7,000+ square feet, this house is surely comfy and large enough to raise up a few kids when they get ready to have them. But then again, perhaps it would be safer to live in a house where the Rimes/Sheremet offspring can't so easily and disastrously sing and dance their way onto a Pike. Whatever the case and wherever these two may next land, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter wish them a happy home

28 comments:

pch said...

I really dig the vaulted wood ceiling in the hilariously named "man room"...but you can keep the Victrola.

JR said...

Hillsboro Pike south of the Green Hills neighborhood is a 2 lane road (there are a LOT of those in Nashville, which is picturesque but REALLY annoying to use to get anywhere). It's busy, but convenient, and nicely estate-residential all the way to the Williamson County line.

fairfield girl said...

I'm with pch I'm lovin the wood room. Not too much else
Is that a cat bed in the kitchen under the counter?
Mama I must again tell you the Pool table rooms are just for the men to watch Rambo #57, scratch inch and Fart.
It's all about getting that type of stuff out of the family/great room.
Lots of places down here are called pike, parkway, bi pass and they have absolutely no resemblance to the regular free ways and interchanges most would be used to. Nashville is not a "big" city. That being said nashveagus is a growing town. And at times does have lots of traffic.
I'm not familiar with Mrs Rimes exact local but I would guess it's as close to hellish suburb traffic as it gets.
My guess on why I bet she is moving out towards Franklin like Brad Paisley and so many others, less traffic less fans as well and good private schools for those kids to be.

bappmc said...

I agree. I'm lovin' the wood room and the patio when it has the sheer curtains on it...blowin' in the wind, but I must say that kitchen wallpaper has GOT TO GO.
It's "TMTH" in the words of Miss Noriega...too much to handle. ;-)
luv u mama

Anonymous said...

For the most part, I really like it. Would definitely change the art work, the accessories, that wallpaper, but this isn't bad at all. This place is refreshing in that it's not "over done" and the furniture actually looks comfortable, like you could spend an evening with your friends, chatting and drinking and no one would be stuck in a hideously uncomfortable chair. I especially like all of the EMPTY space. Some people think you have to fill EVERY DAMN SQUARE INCH of a house, which leaves no breathing room.

Needs some tweaking, but all in all, I like its simplicity.

Anonymous said...

Mama,

Thak you for providing all your chillens out there with such beutiful pics of these places...it really brightens my day!

Alessandra said...

Well, aside from the fact that someone has a love affair with throws, it isn't too hideous. I also like the "wood" room. It looks cozy and comfortable. This would never be a house that I would want to buy, but it would make a very nice home for a country music executive or manager.

I won't comment on the decorating in general. It is very generic, but I'm sure that 8.5 out of 10 people would love it.

sandpiper said...

Count me in as ga-ga for the intimately scaled man room. Adore its ceiling and the raised panel walls. A craftsman created that, and the other beautiful ceilings and millwork detail. Nice. I have a feeling the tightly fitting furniture is not normally places as shown in the picture.

LeAnn is very together and it shines through in the home she's made here. And, a lot of care has gone into presenting this property for market.

Nice post, Mama.

lucy said...

Nice house, love the wood (like everyone else) and think that for a very young couple, they made better-than-average choices.

I don't know what it is with southerners (and as I'm from there, I can bitch) and our damned wallpapered kitchens. Don't get it, never will.

lil' gay boy said...

I think we've seen with this house that "McMansion" need not always be a derogatory moniker . . .

But the wallpaper has definitely got to go.

bentley said...

It's alright. I feel the same way about her (bland, good ole' girl, etc...) as I do about Chris O'Donnell. This house suits that. I see a Denali and an F-150 in the drive. All American, country fancy.

Nashville rocks, I love it there.

Unless the massive TV, on the wall, over the fireplace, in the master, is used strictly for porn... Well you know my feelings on the subject...

sandpiper said...

Hi Bentley,

You are always a treat to read. Without saying so every time you post, your insights consistently cut thru to a thought provoking statement. I like that.

I do agree that LeAnn is not necessarily a top-of-mind celeb. But sometimes, Mama's pearls -- for me anyway -- are processed in a larger frame.

In such a predatory environment, and forging ahead at such an early age, she's avoided the trappings of scintillation; instead opting to be a normal person with manners, grace, net worth and a seemingly fulfilling home life--all in her mid-twenties. Is there not something to be admired in that?

I caught her image on a recent awards show on TV. At first I didn't recognize her; only noticed a very tastefully dressed and groomed young woman on the arm of someone who appealingly adores her. Then, OM-Gosh, it's LeAnn! I was struck by how stable and grounded she was, making good choices in her life. Yes, she's not the fodder of tabloids for all the wrong reasons. Out on a limb here, but I trust we'll read good things about her in the future... a steady balance of home life, career and evolution on all levels. Is that such a bad thing?

I think hers is a very charming tale of perseverance and dignity--and I've never been a country fan.

Bentley, we don't need to agree because I think we have mutual respect regardless.

I simply wish to weigh in.

Peace!

Anonymous said...

I could work with this house - new wallpaper in the kitchen (yes, it's a southern thing), new art and accessories. Really love the patio space. I can see some great parties there.

Watched the video on YouTube and have to say - Is she married to a 12 year old? Beautiful boy (I can see why she became infatuated), but incredibly juvenile comments, constantly, like he's in junior high. It's just not cute to make fun of a partner's sex drive/time on national TV. Or in front of anyone, for that matter.

TonyV said...

I've met them and I agree, he's not nearly as mature as she is. But they're both really nice.

I like the house but a little too much on the "staged" side.

sandpiper said...

Tony, there's a lot of that (staging) going around; for a reason. Seems to be a technique proven to sell. What we notice in staging flaws are probably not overtly noticed by the general house hunting masses. It's the game of creating visual interest to secure the next level...a showing and hopefully an offer.

I wasn't impressed with the husband either. Then again, I'm a little older and long ago outgrew tolerance for immaturity; rather, exchanging that facet of character for clever intellect and sense of humor. There's a difference.

Whatever will be will be. He'll grow, she'll grow...errr...change happens.

staging lady with a toyota said...

My first Nashville project Mama,and I think a stellar success don't you?
Modern country.

staging lady with a toyota said...

The wallpaper was already there and they wouldn't let me do anything about it.

music said...

I've heard LeAnne in an interview say that they have been building a new custom house on some land out in the country. It probably is near Franklin, Leiper's Fork or somewhere in Williamson County. It seems to be the "in" spot for Nashville stars to live.

I enjoyed the pics of the house. I pass it all the time and saw that "Cribs" episode too. It looks better in your pics. Staged yes, but more homey than most of the country stars houses I've seen in the magazines.

Billy-bob's landscaping service said...

Staging lady with the pink teddy,

I was most agreeable to the terms of your barter arrangement on my astronomical mulch order delivery charges.

Pigtown-Design said...

http://pigtown-design.blogspot.com/2007/09/pillow-talk.html

Another view of a room in her house. What's up with all of the pillows?

Babe "back from the dead" Parish said...

It's just so...just so.. Leann Rimes-ey.

bentley said...

Sandpiper,

Well put. I do admire that about LeAnn Rimes. In a world full of wildly out of control celebs, she is a role model. She's the kind of person I hope my girls take notice of, and aspire to emulate (be sure there are countless other individuals of whom I hope my daughters and sons take note.)

Peace.

sandpiper said...

Hey Bentley,

We're both parents, my friend. Let's be confident we've instilled our best into their receptive and malliable little brains. Gotta have faith our never-ending whispers of "do the right thing" will seat.

It's a full time job; both exhausting and a total delight...such a push pull.

In the end, I think (pray) our efforts will make good little people of sound judgement and ethics.

I could not be prouder thus far, and I just know you are too!

Simple pleasures are the sweetest.

$2 Cocktail said...

You know, I'm as cynical as the next bitch on here, but I think, overall, the house is well done. The kitchen wall paper is a mess but most everything else is nice, well placed and not overdone.

As for Dean, yeah he makes my gaydar ping, but he does seem smitten and attentive. Maybe he's just one of those, seemingly more prevalent, gay-ish str8 boys (I'm loath to say metrosexual). I hope he doesn't disappoint her. She works hard for her (their) money!

bentley said...

Sandpiper,

It is a daily delight with my little guys. A bad day, a sour mood, you come home and they smile - wow, no?

Proost,
b

Kevin Purfield said...

That is a nice looking home. I would buy it.

Anonymous said...

I live just down the road in Franklin TN and heard weeks back that Leann and her boy toy hubby have been looking to buy or build in nearby Leipers Fork. I say good luck---Ms Judd as in Wynonnalona owns most of the area and she aint about to part with her acreage.

Anonymous said...

Her home was custom built in Avalon in Franklin, TN