Thursday, March 13, 2008

UPDATE: Michael Jackson

Didn't Your Mama tell the children earlier today that Michael Jackson's pee-pole were prolly talking out their poo poo holes when they was all shouting from the mountain tops that Neverland Ranch had been saved from foreclosure? Yes, we did.

Well, leave it to celebrity gossip Roger Friedman, who pens the Fox 411 gossip column, to get the real dirt on the doings at Neverland Ranch and to provide some much needed clarity on Mister Jackson's seemingly ceaseless foreclosure fracas.

The always and enviably well informed Mister Friedman reported late today that while Jackson's pee-pole were indeed able to delay the foreclosure auction date from March 19 to May 14, they were not able to forge a new financial agreement with Fortress. Which means Neverland Ranch remains in foreclosure and The White Lady is still in deep financial doo-doo with the hedge hogs at Fortress Investment Group.

It also means that Your Mama will have to wait until at least mid-May before we can wean ourself from the nerve pills the Dr. Cooter prescribed due to the stress and strain that has resulted from this ne-ver end-ing Neverland Ranch saga.

22 comments:

sandpiper said...

Huh...what?
This is a serious hot mess. Ewww.

Alessandra said...

It's like Through the Looking Glass, or "The White Lady in Neverland."

I'm surprised the hedge hogs went for a delay in proceedings. Then again, it's such a disgusting mess, who knows what's up?

Anonymous said...

He will wait until his royalty checks come in, he gets them every 3 months and they have to be over 10 million each and he will be fine.

For all of you chicken littles out there, the sky for some will never fall.

I read an interesting article about the super rich and their homes, for a majority of them, their wealth far exceeds their homes asking prices so they can wait for years to get their price.

So the homes in prime areas in LA, NY, Chicago, Miami, SF, London will always command very high prices, the economy has no effect on them whatsoever.

lil' gay boy said...

Anything to keep the shallow graves of those sadly missing children from being discovered; like what was the deal with opening up the songbook to the American Idol contestants if not to test the waters as to their viability as an asset?

Someone with a heart and a conscience needs to look into more than just the surface financial matters here.

Sounds like the current maneuver is to keep any legally curious people off the premises until he has time to remove whatever incriminating evidence may still be there - above or below the topsoil. I have never hated the man, but I have always feared what he may have done to innocent children who worshipped him.

God damn him if he has, and God forgive me if he hasn't.

Alessandra said...

Anon 10:50, I was going to ignore you. But you know what? Go the fuck away and don't come back.

Tom Thumb said...

LGB,

Have you been drinking again? I told your poor mother-aunt to lock up the liquor cabinet or you'd drink her dry.

The "incriminating evidence" was removed a long time about by the dozens of police who scoured every inch of Neverland many times over back when he was charged with child molestation.

American Idol? What? Who cares?

"Anything to keep the shallow graves of those sadly missing children from being discovered"

What the fuck does that mean? What children went missing around Michael Jackson? Are you trying to be humorous or are you making a slanderous accusation?

I think you just might be the man with the heart and conscience to look deeper, below MJs surface financial matters. What an original idea! No one has ever thought to look deeper into Michael Jackson's life before. That's brilliant. You'll make millions and finally be able to buy that old Vanderbilt mansion around the corner.

Have another seabreeze or 15 year old scotch or whatever it is you drink, but be sure to slip your mom-aunt a $20 in the morning, because her social security alone isn't enough to keep you liquored up and blathering on here every night.

Anonymous said...

What kind of person could find 'shallow graves' humorous? I tried to ignore it the first 40-50 times. It's like church on Sunday: Every time there's a MJ post, we get this same imagery.

Anonymous said...

Before you are attacked by the masses- three cheers to you, Tom Thumb.

Not sure I've ever heard anyone else accuse MJ of being a child murderer- totally preposterous. Drink up, LGB.

bentley said...

Serious hot mess, indeed. I do hope MJ has some PVC and a water slide handy to wile away the stress of it all.

"Pee-pole" and "poo poo holes" all in one sentence, I love it. Mama, get your ass over here and teach my kids Anatomy 101!

BTW, I need to get myself a the Dr. Cooter. I actually need to leave the house to get my nerve pills. Damn.

Girl at the bar, come out and play 'cause it's been one helluva week and this boy's got to get his ya-ya's out. Friday!

SigourneyBeaver said...

Can't he just sell the land and pay if off?

Anonymous said...

I am not surprised the entire "Neverland Ranch Saved" was a farcas. Mama is right about MJ's people talking out of their asses again. I hope they foreclose on the ranch--MJ doesn't deserve to keept it.

so_chic_darling said...

Nobody has said just how much that land is worth in todays market or if there would be permits to build a bunch of homes there or not.I would like to hear from California people who know about the local market if he can sell for a profit or not.I would also like to hear from people in the art market if there is any resale value on the J Seward Johnson bronzes of the creepy children,or from a scrap metal merchant on the value of bronze in todays market.

Alessandra said...

Yes, he could sell at a profit if he had the time. He should have put it on the market two years ago, when credit was easier (not that it matters as much in that particular stratosphere, but there is still a pinch), and he wasn't so far up against the wall that he was coming out on the other side.

Now it is, at best, a short sale situation or once foreclosed, a REO. He might be able to refinance, but the chances of that look to be incredibly slim. He has a better chance of winning the lottery, at this point.

What I think sends Mama for the nerve pills with this one is the level of denial. He has a HUGE asset. 2600 acres in that part of CA is worth far more than his debt on it. He should have sold it and been done, and instead, we're all subject to seeing depths of denial that are beyond pathetic.

Anonymous said...

So_Chic, really good question. I don't know the area well enough to know what other listings/sales would be considered comps but a quick look at other ranches for sale or recently sold would make 24m for almost 2600 acres seem a bargain. Maybe someone else has a better idea.

I also wonder if this 24m is the only lien against the property. Isn't it possible that this is but one lender forcing the sale but there are others in line too?

It would seem to me if this is the only lien against the property, and the property is worth (just for speculation, don't take this number as value) twice that..one would think he could refinance easily because he has 50% equity?

Not that I need to ask the children to rip my thoughts to shreds because they will anyway but anyone?

Oh..Joe/Ed, zip it. I don't need to hear that you think the property will only be work $10/acre in two years. Go back under the bridge.

Anonymous said...

Make that "worth" not "work". Guess I'm feeling guilty about being here instead of checking my work email, lol.

Bigdaddyj said...

Regardless of how he got into this situation, the white lady must either have the worst financial advisors in the world, not listen to the ones he has if they are any good, or be in complete denial about the reality of his financial situation, like Britney if she hadn't been committed and was still letting Lutfi and Adnan run the show...for those MJ defenders who constantly claim he MUST have money and this is all a little misunderstanding, I can't imagine anyone in a healthy financial situation (who isn't completely insane or completely irresponsible) allowinf such a major asset to keep constantly slipping so close to a state of foreclosure...here's a thought if he needs money - sue his financial advisors, because they've been steering him wrong if he has been listening to him...otherwise, it might be time for a more responsible and sane member of the Jackson family (maybe Janet, LOL?) to step in and take over running Micheal's finances...come to think of it, if the Spears family was able to get Britney committed and a conservatorship established, you'd think with all of Wacko Jacko's bizzare behavior over the year someone would've been able to commit him by now...personally, I think the man is a pedphile scumbag who deserves to rot in poverty, but that's just my opinion...;-)

nowhereAZ said...

Holy cow...Neverland Ranch AND the Kaufmann house are being auctioned off the SAME WEEK? What a great couple of real estate porn days those are going to be!

Anonymous said...

I heard a rumor the reserve is very high on Kaufmann and it might not be selling to anyone.

Left leaning middle aged man said...

Everything may be in a slump but the art market is still going strong.

Anonymous said...

Left leaning, I agree with you but rumor was the Harrises may have unrealistic expectations of the value of the property regardless of the market conditions.

luke220 said...

Rumor? I said it was overpriced the first time I saw it here.

sandpiper said...

Hi Left Leaning Mid-Aged Man,

Hasn't it always been? It's fascinating. The best place to hide / shelter dirty money in a black market.
...Though I don't like it.