Monday, November 12, 2007

Your Mama Hears...

...that the former New York "It Boy" debutard Fabian Basabe and his La Perla lingerie heiress wifey Martina Borgomanero have recently decamped to Los Angeles, and according to our source, the couple have moved into a decidedly un-glamorous condominium on lower Sunset Plaza Drive in West Hollywood. And hunnies, it's damn rental. A rental! Now children, many dream of living on Sunset Plaza, and there's nothing wrong with this location. Unless you're uber snob Fabian Basabe.

Your Mama hopes from the bottom of our cold heart that this common folk condo is temporary while the gadabout couple hunt for more suitable and respectable digs. Honestly. Both of these kids have rich parents who can surely help them out with the down payment and then pay the mortgage on a two or three million dolla' home. Right? Maybe Fabian's father can pay the mortgage one month and and Martina's father the next.

Your Mama realizes that if you live East of the East River, and West of the Hudson River you might not have a clue who this show boating publicity hound Fabian Basabe is or why Your Mama would waste our time writing about him. But we can't help it. We just love stories about trust fund layabouts. Besides, we've read so much about him on the high-larious and mean spirited Gawker website that we're addicted to his crazy ways like a nasty crack ho.

Children, think of young Mister Basabe as a male version of Paris Hilton. Only far more articulate. He's young and glamorous in a snotty sort of way, rich (although perhaps not as rich as he might like you to think), essentially jobless (he does write a rarely updated, sometimes funny, and always bitchy blog for Paper, and for some reason people pay him to show up at parties and events), he's well connected, generally well liked by the social crowd (although not so much outside of it), and mostly he's famous for being famous.

In an effort to publicize himself (his favorite past time) and secure himself a pole position in that pantheon of "celebrities" who don't do anything but publicize themselves, he grants lots of interviews, poses for pile of pictures, goes to a lot of charity functions, spends long evenings hopping from one exclusive nightclub to another, and he appeared on that embarrassing Joe Simpson produced reality show Filthy Rich: Cattle drive, which only made him look like an ignorant, useless and spoiled asshole. (Sorry, Fabe, but it did.)

We're not sure what Mister Basabe's "professional" or real estate plans are out in La La Land. Your Mama hopes he'll be cast on the next season of Dancing With the Stars, or perhaps the even more upsetting and shocking The Surreal Life. Now that would be a-may-zing. Call your agent Fabe! We are also unnaturally interested to learn if the notoriously insular nightclub-land glitterati in Los Angeles embrace his brand of self involved fabulessness or if they leave him standing on the wrong side of the velvet rope. Perhaps Mister Basabe will be kind enough to let us know how things are going for him in LA and send us some snaps of his new rental condo.

Source: ABC News (photo)

26 comments:

Jordy said...

i think he's cute

Anonymous said...

who gives a shit

Anonymous said...

Never heard of him. Looks like he drinks too much. Don't really care about another famous-for-doing-nothing type. But hey, Mama, it's your blog and you can please yourself. :-)

OK, now show us some REAL ESTATE!

Aunt Mary said...

It's about CELEBRITY and realestate. It's not the classifieds. Bring on the skanky and the slimey, Mama. How else am I going to feel superior to them?

Anonymous said...

He's not as rich as he makes out he is - why oh why is he shacked up in a condo in l.a when he supposedly owns 3 apt's in Manhattan [he apparently lives between all 3 - puh-leeze!] & also supposedly has a property in malibu where he went to school - surely someone with such an expensive property portfolio could afford to shack up at chateau for a few months while looking for a place - he's a fake, just like his marriage b/c it's known in N.Y circles that he likes the boys - Mama, real celebs in the future, not phoney idiots!

Anonymous said...

Hello Mama, Strapping Hunk reporting in. Being someone who runs in the celebrity circles and having just crawled out from under Fabian, I'll help the children out. Fabian does not like boys. He likes overweight middleaged men like me. He is in Los Angeles to buy both the Saperstein and Ross properties. He will be replacing Tom Cruise in a blockbuster film and releasing his first album, a cover of Michael Jackson's Thriller. Remember you heard it here first. I have to run. I'm keeping busy with Aunt Mary's laundry and that pair of old lady whites just hit the spin cycle. It always unbalances the washing machine. This is Strapping Hunk out.

Aunt Mary said...

(in a whispering voice): WHAAAAATT! I said I wanted those delicate unmentionables hand laundered in a bone china basin and thrice rinsed in Chanel No. 5 laced distilled water. It's your ass now buddy! (blows medicinal marijuana smoke in his face).

Anonymous said...

Hey Mama, be nice Shoreham Drive is Sunset Plaza adjacent and a good address. Its a small street, but it filled with many posh Condo buildings. They're a great starter pad for the post college early 20's.

Anonymous said...

Strapping Hunk here, I couldn't find anything made of bone china big enough to hold a pair of your panties, and Chanel#5 just wasn't working on the skidmarks. I was having herbal tea with Katie Holmes and she said the only thing she could use for Tom's marks was Michael's left over skin bleaching agent. We are close friends so she shared a gallon. I am Fabian's bitch now. He owns my ass. Strapping Hunk out!

Aunt Mary said...

Good riddance! What? No, I don't have yoga sticks, whateverthehell those are.

Anonymous said...

This is Strapping Hunk reporting in, get a life loser 10:35 & 11:13 - Strapping Hunk out.

Ms Frivolity said...

Strapping Hulk was so high form the pot smoke that Aunt Mary blew into his face that just grabbed the nearest bowl he could find.Unfortunately the bowl he grabbed was Grandma Suzie's rose medallion Chinese export punch bowl that had been in the family since the 1830s!STOP screamed Aunt Mary at the top of her lungs STOP!

jaded old queen said...

GAY

Ms Frivolity said...

Sorry Hunk I called you Hulk,and now I think that there people out there trying to pretend to be you.Don't worry you are one of the stars of Mama's blog and we love you dearly.

Anonymous said...

Seriously - this blog gets weirder by the day. So much for being about property.

Anonymous said...

Yawn.

Z-Z-Z-z-z-zzzzzzzzzz.

Clarissa Champagne said...

^^^^

what do you mean? this post was about a new york trust fund celebutard moving to la and shacking up in a chintzy condo. that's real estate gossip.

as for all the fun and whacked out commentary...what's not to love about freedom of expression gone beserk?

Aunt Mary said...

Punked.

Anonymous said...

This is Strapping Hunk reporting in, get a life loser 1:01 - Strapping Hunk out.

Anonymous said...

mama, strapping hunk is even better looking than fabian, dreamy, why is everyone on the hunk train?

Anonymous said...

2:26 Champagne:

If "trust fund celeb" was this reality, I'd say party on. But, truth be told. perceptions are not reality (Google, Google). Smoke and mirrors.

bentley said...

I was at a fund raiser in the Hamptons, and Jaguar was one of the sponsors. I'm standing next to a beautiful, silver XK8 and Basa-bonehead walks up to me and says, "Those Germans sure know how to make a sweet ride!?"

I almost covered him in Veuve. GERMAN...JAGUAR?

Furthermore, who the fuck says "Sweet ride?"

Being rich is super, being famous isn't. Step away from the lens, Fabian, and next time you tell my doorman to fuck off I'm going to hit you with my Italian...Bentley.

Wanker.

Anonymous said...

CELEBUHUNK - I LIKE IT.

celebuhunk said...

I had a date with Paris Hilton last night. She was a sweet ride.

Celebuhunk said...

I checked into the Paris Hilton last night.

celebuhunk said...

I parked my German Jaguar in Paris Hilton last night and now I can't find the keys.