Saturday, November 10, 2007

Kanye's Krib

OWNER: Kanye West
LOCATION: Fareholm Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,750,000 (purchased in 2003)
SIZE: 4,214 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: If Your Mama is being honest, and we always are, we don't like Kanye West as a public personality. It is just our opinion children, but we find the 6 time Grammy winning hip hopper oozes ego in a smarmy and off putting "I'm better than you" sort of way. Then there was that hissy fit at the MTV Music Awards which just made him look like a complete ass. Mister West may in fact be a warm, fuzzy and down to earth guy in person, and we sincerely hope he is. But if Your Mama was his highly paid PR flak we'd be telling the dude to tone it down and put his damn feet back on the ground.

The other day Your Mama discussed Mister West's demolition ready Beverly Hills flats flip property that he recently and boldly dropped onto the market for $8,699,000. Can you remember that far back puppies? Mister West never actually renovated, rebuilt or moved into that dump, so Your Mama got to wondering where the obsessively groomed and perfectly coiffed singer actually beds down at night.

While Your Mama has vast network of tipsters, tattlers and crack researchers, we are not miracle workers. Believe it or not, there are times when Your Mama struggles to locate the current residences of entertainment superstars. For example, with the help of Lucy Spillerguts, Your Mama just located the two adjacent Hidden Hills properties owned by rock 'n roll scion Lisa Marie Presley after several months of on and off hunting. We toiled similarly looking for Kanye's krib in the City of Angels, and came up empty until Mister Big Time filled in our real estate gaps and informed us that Mister Kanye West purchased his kurrent krib on Fareholm Drive in November of 2003 for $1,750,000. He's clearly dumped a lot more money into customizing and renovating the place.

During our (admitedly) not very extensive research on the internetsm, Your Mama did come up with a recent and amazing article from Interior Design magazine via CasaSugar (and another from Harper's Bazaar) about Mister Kanye West's modern, minimal and pop art filled party pad at the foot of the Hollywood Hills overlooking Hollywood Boulevard. The article reveals three things we imagine many people, people including Your Mama, don't likely know about Mister West. He studied fine art at the American Academy of Art in Chicago, he's a fan and collector of pop art, and he's a design diva. Not being much of a fan of Mister West, the article also educated Your Mama to the fact that he is now engaged to his long time fashionista gurlfriend Alexis Phifer. Well look at that. Shows you want Your Mama knows, we didn't even know he liked the ladees.

We have no doubt that Mister West is as meticulous in his housekeeping as he is about his grooming, and the squeaky clean rapper prolly employs a team of good lookin' gurls (or boys) to keep the slick surfaces of his sleek home dust and finger print free. However, when looking at the plush pictures by photographer Art Gray for Interior Design, please keep in mind that a crew of giddy gay stylists scrubbed the place clean of personal effects like shampoo bottles, mobile phones, and stacks of paper so that the place appears as spare as a modern art museum. It's highly unlikely the place looks this uncluttered and un-lived in everyday.

According to the I.D. article, Desiridata Design was hired to do over the place into Mister West's fantasy vision of "a cross between a museum and a Louis Vuitton boutique." And hunnies, it's Louis Vuitton all over the place up in this krib. Not only is there a short stack of custom ordered trunks on display in the entrance hall and a marvelous vintage steamer in the kitchen, there's at least a dozen multi-colored hard sided cases stacked up more than six feet high in the big man's office. There's also a customized Louis Vuitton drum machine, which is just overkill in Your Mama's design book. But then again, what do we know?

Your Mama does not love everything about Mister West's house, but there are several notable features that we would like to point out:

1. The French walnut floors are outta this world. We have goose pimples thinking about how delicious that material must feel on bare feet.
2. The trio of Warhol soup can silk screens? They are the real thing, kids. And they cost a fortune.
3. Generally we are not a fan of Japanese art star Takashi Murakami's kooky work, Your Mama digs the big skull painting in the living room and all those Murakami flower pillows in Mister West's office are whimsically dee-voon.
4. Given half a chance, Your Mama would sneak that hot pink Russell Young silk screen of Marilyn Monroe entertaining the troops out of the house in a big Louis Vuitton bag.
5. That mural that Mister Kanye commissioned for the dining room ceiling? Uhm, no. But fortunately, the iconic Fortuny floor lamp pleasantly distracts from the upsetting ceiling issue.
6. The gor-gee-us travertine clad bathroom has Your Mama's head gleefully spinning around like the devil possessed gurl in The Exorcist and that is by far the most spectacular residential fish tank we have ever seen.
7. Even though it's butt ugly and we don't give a crap what any of the children think about it, Your Mama would pummel the Pope for that limited edition Brothers Campana stuffed animal chair.
8. Your Mama does not care for those wacky Burton Morris paintings of the Jetsons, but the spectacular turquoise Eero Koivisto chair in the game room has us in a cold sweat.
9. Do ya'll notice that despite the lovely lily white walls, this house is filled with bright and pleasing color? Bravo!
10. Lastly, what's not to love about a customized closet where one's multi colored kicks can be lined up like a poor man's Damien Hirst sculpture?

Your Mama is just going to make one recommendation to Mister West about his decorative choices. Dude, you better hire some extra security, because PETA is going to be throwing blood balloons at yer damn house after they see all that red-fox and chinchilla fur stuff on the bed.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, you gonna be telling us about Lisa M P's Hidden Hill's place then soon??

This place is a little bit too cold, but the art pieces are amazing, especially the Jetsons!

Anonymous said...

so dig the Jetsons

Anonymous said...

hate that cry baby, place looks like a 5 year old decorated it and lives there IMO...

Anonymous said...

Like some of the art [no - not the jetsons] but overall not impressed - perhaps it's just that i can't actually stand this guy ... saw him at a few of the r.t.w shows in paris & the entire fashion pack just rolled their eyes when he walked in as if he was a superstar. also dressed ridiculously, trying to be avantgarde but it just didn't work - he was the butt of all jokes afterwards, think he's trying to be the male mariah when it comes to being a diva.

Molly said...

Thanks Mama, good post. Mr. West is too cocky for me, but I do like his house. Except for that animal chair, it freaks me out a little...Bring on Ms. Presley, I hear it is quite the compound with ex-husband on the premises and all.

so_chic_darling said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
so_chic_darling said...

YES!
For him,his age,income,career,education it's fucking perfect.For me I'm with Mama on that lovely art!

Ms Frivolity said...

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"she screamed as her Prada 40s style peep toed burgundy leather stacked heel sandals slammed on the breaks of her brand new silver Range Rover,spilling her Starbucks all over her prized vintage Jean Muir black and white jumbo hounds tooth print silk tea dress,almost hitting the giant Murakami mushroomscape made of fiberglass that was sitting at the end of the driveway!
Shit motherfucker,she was pissed now.She usually did not take on male clients but his taste profile was just too red hot to say no.
Flustered,but not visibly,she stepped out of the car and onto the driveway that was inlaid with an interlocking KW motif in gold mosaic tile,the concrete itself glittered in the late afternoon sun from its content of crushed green glass.
Was she out of her comfort zone?A little,but not completely,She had,after all,grown up with cutting edge art.All be it the cutting edge of the 70s.No matter she was ready for anything.
Her frail hand reached for the door knocker,no she couldn't locate a buzzer of any kind,that seemed to be a model of an Asian cartoon character cast from solid bronze,Murakami?,who knows.She fiddled with her chunky Chanel necklaces and waited nervously for boy wonder to answer the door.

Ms Frivolity said...

I forgot to mention that the Burgundy leather was patent,a very important fact!

so_chic_darling said...

Mama I think that the desk might be a Zaha Hadid original.I'm not sure but even thinking it might be makes me almost want to like him.

pch said...

I thought the ego trip was an act. Then I met him.

Old Hag in a house said...

I have evidence,recordings.I'm not going mad.

Anonymous said...

Love that house, and word on the street is that he lives on Oriole Way. Can't verify it...just saying...

Ms Frivolity said...

......A few moments later....She was shocked when the door was opened not by boy wonder himself,but by sexy action movie star Vin Diesel."Come in baby"he said with a deep masculine gruff voice "you look like you just saw a ghost"No she mumbled "just a giant plastic mushroom"."Anyway baby you look like you could use a stiff drink,or maybe even something to eat".Oh what the hell,she decided to throw caution to the wind and had a Kettle One on the rocks with a lemon twist.She rarely ate anything solid,and never in public.
The house was,she had to admit to herself,spot on.It's location high in the bird streets and sweeping views made it seem to be a futuristic space craft filled with cool art and "toys" floating above the city of angels way below.
Was that Tyrese sitting on the plush toy chair,yes no shit!And over there at the desk checking his emails was Ralph Lauren god Tyson Beckford?Not only was the house full of pretty colorful things,but men too!The kettle One was making her feel much more relaxed.Just then Mr West's impossibly handsome butler announced that "Mr West would see her now in the closet".

Ms Frivolity said...

...Then.....There she was in the closet with kanye west himself.Quite frankly a place she never thought she would have been if you asked her just last week!
She reached out and touched a beautiful mauve silk mohair mix Chanel pantsuit hanging next to her."Alexis has such a good eye"she says in her most I'm flattering the client voice."No baby that's mine"he says with a big grin on his face"Karl had it made up for me in the couture workroom"."Oh wow"she said,now not so sure what to say next."Very forward"."Where is Alexis by the way?"I don't know baby Rio,Rome you'd have to check with my PR people."
What was she doing here?It didn't look like Mr West needed any help in the pizazz department,and why was there a giant pink rabbit fury costume suit hanging in the corner?
And that large baby's playpen thing,what was THAT doing in the closet with a rubber back mat inside?
She should have just turned back when she almost demolished the mushroomscape,but no she went on knowing that if nothing else this would be chapter 13 in her soon to be published memoir "I styled it my way".

The Hollywood Mayor said...

He used to live on Fareholm Dr... he may still be there

nice gay decorator said...

"a large baby's playpen thing with a black rubber mat inside"Nice.

Anonymous said...

Oriole Way?

this is where the Entourage House (season 4) is...

9050 Oriole Way Los Angeles CA 90069

http://www.zillow.com/HomeDetails.htm?zprop=20799201

anybody have any inside info on it???

Aunt Mary said...

ms frivolity, you can set a scene, sweetie, I'm on the edge of my seat.

I know nothing about Mr. West other than he's famous and controversial, but if this house is actually a reflection of his taste and sophistication, and not just the decorator's, then he's a very interesting man. I've seen nothing like it on these pages.

the most beautiful woman in the world said...

I've got lots of money and I will spend whatever it takes!

Old Hag in a house said...

I was once a very beautiful woman.

so_chic_darling said...

I want a signed copy of "I styled it my way".

Anonymous said...

anon 8:46 and hollywood mayor were quoted in mr. big time in his kanye story.

just fyi

The Hollywood Mayor said...

^^ Thanks for the tip

It's nice that I was able to help with the story and zero in on the location, but I wish they hadn't given his exact address. I find that a little invasive as opposed to just saying "somewhere on Fareholm"... oh well

SOUL POLE said...

FRIVOLITY:

Clearly you need to get back to work.Keeping sharp in between picketing? MAMA...you need to hire MS.FRIVOLITY for when you and yo'man go on vacation. Nice tastes on the part of Kanye.

R.I.P. Dr.West.

Mike Tyson bought my house said...

His mother just died folks...

meenu said...

mama...give a black man - a short black man a chance ; )

watch this: http://www.trooker.com/flashplay.aspx?id=3293

now go here to enjoy kanye's design porn and more:
http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/

and say a little prayer for his mama

PopLockandDropIt said...

That SNL skit video that meenu posted the link to was so funny.

It's good to see that he can make fun of himself.

But I want that front door, and I want it now.

Anonymous said...

IS THAT A GIANT HERMES SHOPPING BAG... HMMM INTERESTING AND VERY GIRLY F HIM; HE MUST NOT HAVE ENOUGH CLOSET SPACE LOL

Aunt Mary said...

Ok, now I'm starting to really admire this Kanye West person. I just love this blog. It's expanding my world, next I'll be purchasing one of his records. Any recommendations for a first time listener? I hope the death of his extremely young mother doesn't crush him.

Aunt Mary said...

His mother was having cosmetic surgery! Died of complications! Oh my goodness, ms. frivolity move this story to Park Ave. and sharpen your pencil. You haven't had to sell your pencils yet I hope?

Anonymous said...

i know for a fact that the home was "staged" and that kanye doesn't even own most of that art. a friend of mine -- a serious collector -- was contacted during the staging, months ago, to see if he'd be willing to loan any pieces to the "cause."

Aunt Mary said...

Noooooo! I refuse to believe this slander. I'm now a fan of Kanye's and it's going to take more than an anonymous poster to make me back off from my boy K.

pch said...

Aunt Mary -- his last single Stronger is as good a place to start as anywhere -- you can hear it at his myspace profile: http://myspace.com/kanyewest

pch said...

Sorry, should have html linked it for you:

Kanye's myspace

Aunt Mary said...

Thanks for the link, pch. Can I call you Peaches? I like the sound. I could get used to it. But coming from an era of bass, drums, and guitar, verse chorus verse, growly sludgey grunge, it's a stretch. But as Mama would say, learn something new everyday for the brain. And when it comes to music, something new for the spirit. Thanks. ;)

Anonymous said...

I guess his Mama tried to tell him to stop buying so much Louis Vuitton. RIP. Anyway, I like the Jetson's paintings. The place is a bit cold, but I do like some of the art. Is that an aquarium next to the bathtub?

betty goodwish said...

ha!
meenu's kanye snl skit link is a good one, nice to see our kanye this way...

...and loving his blog too : )

Ms Frivolity said...

I just wanted to say that my writings in the comment section of this blog are in no way to be taken as hating on anyone or mean spirited.I am saying this in light of the death of Mr West's mother.My entries were made before this news broke.
My imagined adventures of a celebrity stylist are only meant to be read as satirical and funny.If you are famous you are going to get it,and a lot worse that I could write,so it is with love and glee that i write,not spite or malice.

The Hollywood Mayor said...

RIP to his mom...

Anonymous said...

Those dolls on his desk are by the artists KAWS and Todd James...Very hard to come by...Somehow I think this is actually all his stuff.

Anonymous said...

if west didn't act as though he is Almighty God with his piss on everybody attitude ... i might be inclined to say he's a smart business man.

wilsonreps said...

the art in this place is the only thing that isn't cliche