Friday, August 22, 2008

Michael Phelps Buys in Baltimore

Swimming supah-star and eight-time Beijing Olympics golden boy Michael Phelps is already spending the tens of millions of dollars he's expected to earn in endorsements and other monetary windfalls such as the million dollar bonus Speedo paid the long and lean water baby as a bonus for his outstanding and record breaking achievements in China.

Not only did the young and newly rich Mister Phelps reportedly buy the Meadowbrook Swim Club and Northwest Ice Rink which he and coach Bob Bowman would like to turn into an Olympic training center and he's looking to scoop up a sexy and powerful Maserati or vintage Aston Martin to ferry him around town.

But his newly minted post 2008 Olympics life would not be complete without dee-luxe digs to call home, would it children? Just about every news and quasi-news outlet in the damn world is reporting that young Mister Phelps recently splashed out on a $1,690,000 condo overlooking Baltimore's revitalized Harborfront.

Details on the apartment are slim, but most reports say it measures 4,080 square feet. Your Mama can only hope it's got high ceilings and an extra-long bath tub.

It appears that it was gossip juggernaut TMZ who first reported the purchase as well as posted loads of pictures of the complex that features a private screening room, a rooftop terrace, a state of the art gym, and a club house with pool tables and a strangely small swimming pool that looks barely long enough to accommodate Mister Phelps tall and tiny Speedo adorned bah-dee.

Listen Michael hunny, you should give Your Mama a shout so we can hook you up with a nice gay decorator who will absolutely not allow you to buy a five piece set of matching black leather sofas and will know the best way to sensibly, respectfully and tastefully display your rather extensive collection of Olympic medals.

Your Mama would also bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that millionaire Mister Phelps also pays off his mama's mortgage because he's just that kinda guy, ain't he?

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yay for Michael Phelps! But I hope this is not the beginning of a huge spending spree that will end with default notices.

Michael: learn from the mistakes of other great athletes and set some...no a lot...of money aside.

And take care of that mom of yours. She's a keeper.

pudenda shenanigans said...

you guys, he is getting *SO* laid right now. endlessly, continuously.

Anonymous said...

You can keep Baltimore....
Should have moved to Southern California.

Alessandra said...

Good for him. It is well-deserved.

I think it's sweet that he's staying close to his roots. And I bet he does pay off his mama's mortgage, too (he'd better!). He just seems like he would, especially after he almost gave her heart failure when he won gold in that very close race.

Anonymous said...

I think he's the goofiest looking thing, but I agree - he's getting major action right now. Not too shabby a place to buy...I'd take it!

Anonymous said...

way to go phelps! someone who worked his ass off for what he got and takes care of/loves his family. you don't see too much of that in these filthy rich young adults these days. well-deserved things, michael...do put some away. you could never work again, live a very cushy life and leave money to your kids if you invest smartly. above all, nice work. he's earned it!

Bigdaddyj said...

Anon 1:41, THANK YOU! I personally can't believe this guy has become such a sex symbol...sure, he has a fit, lean body (a little too lean for my personal taste in good men's bodies...)...But that head - my god, the goofy face, the f'd-up teeth, the Mr. Spock ears - His head looks like Scooby Freakin' Doo for Christ's sake!

As for Baltimore, I spent a year driving back and forth from Philly to DC twice a week about a decade ago, and even on the sunniest, clearest days, when I'd get to Baltimore, it'd be cloudy and/or raining...such a horrible haze of pollution, I don't know how or why anyone would willingly live in Baltimore if they had enough money to live anywhere else, which Mr. Phelps apparently does...;-)

Anonymous said...

I grew up in Baltimore, made a ton of money and moved to a great house in an beach city in LA. This is the most stuck up place I could ever imagine. Yeah, there are some nice folks here but it's mostly snotty bimbos, vacant stares and arrogant, entitled attitudes. I'm working on my exit plan and, frankly, you can knock Baltimore all you want but at least the people are decent.

luke220 said...

My understanding is that he got one of the townhouse units. He'll get a lot of exercise going up and down the five flights of stairs. Horrible floor plan, BTW.

The groupies will be able to knock on his door, right off the street.

Maybe it is for his mother?

John McKee said...

To echo a previous comment bitch better save and invest money like crazy while he can still get it. That tragic mug of his isn't going to do him any favors obtaining celebrity endorsements once we forget about all about his gold medals in a few months (We always forget) and he's just an ugly guy who used to be really good at something almost completely irrelevant in our everyday lives.

Anonymous said...

in a recent interview with bob costas, i clearly remember michael phelps saying that he was looking forward to moving into, or settling into, his new HOUSE in baltimore. so either, as a previous commenter stated, he bought a townhouse unit connected to this project or this unit was bought for someone else. folks just don't refer to their condo unit as their house. however, doubt it would be for his mother. just doesn't have her vibe. if you know what i mean.

Anonymous said...

International Philanthropist and Long Distance Open Water Ocean Swimmer Craig William Baskin has purchased the “Waterfall House”, designed by noted Modernist architect James Cioffi, in Palm Springs South End. Designed in 1978, the home features only two bedrooms but 4.5 baths in 5,000 SF. The noted feature is a waterfall which flows off the roof and into the pool, with 360 degree views of the San Jacinto Mountains. Baskin sold his country estate, Hound Hollow, in Charlottesville, Virgnia’s horse country, to that state’s former Governor, Gerald Baliles. Baskin will now divide time between Palm Springs and his home in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where he trains in the azure waters of the Sea of Cortez. He is a cousin to the late Princess Grace of Monaco, who frequently visited Palm Springs during her film career in Hollywood with James Stewart, Alfred Hitchcock and Cary Grant.

Anonymous said...

I agree with those calling L.A. the shallowest of the shallow. People here lie and cheat through their lives, and use others.

Phelps had better save $$, I agree, particularly if the pro swimming heirarchy treats him (in 30 years) as they treated Mark Spitz throughout this ordeal. That is to say: terribly.

aunt mary said...

What kind of cretin sits around and criticizes the teeth and ears of a world champion, record setting Olympic athlete? We really are still in junior high aren't we bigdaddy? Let's see a picture of your handsome face.

Bigdaddyj said...

The type of cretin who believes in free speech, and also thinks that just because someone is an award-winning athelete does not by them an automatic pass on criticism...oh, and someone who thinks a sex symbol shouldn't have a head that looks like it belongs on a cartoon Great Dane!

Bigdaddyj said...

If I knew how to attach a photo to these little blog entries, I'd have you creamin' in your granny panties Aunt Mary...;-) Jeesh, when did the blogosphere become so invaded by the goody-two-shoes and political correcties? Isn't the whole tone of Mama's website snarky, tongue-in-cheek lampooning of the celebs covered? Grow a sense of humor you frigid old bitch...;-)

John McKee said...

folks just don't refer to their condo unit as their house.

Me? I may live 10 stories with another 13 stories above me but it's still my house and I pay just as much, actually likely more, to own my house in a high-rise than anyone with dirt and a roof directly above and below them. Besides, I don't like parking my own car.

What kind of cretin sits around and criticizes the teeth and ears of a world champion, record setting Olympic athlete? We really are still in junior high aren't we bigdaddy? Let's see a picture of your handsome face.

http://jmckee.googlepages.com/me.jpg
Do you worst, I have nothing to hide. However my career has more to do with nepotism and a trust then selling my face to put on a box a cereal.

There are all sorts of incredibly skilled and gold metaling Olympic athletes and almost fade into the spotlight incredibly quickly. Off the top of your head can you tell me any of the members of the US women's Olympic gold metal winning 4x200m swimming team in 2004? They set a world record as a team and three of them individual have set world records.

Alessandra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alessandra said...

The use of "LOL" or ";)" in comments has been ruined for me. Apparently, one can say the most dastardly things to other commenters and follow it up with an emoticon and it's all okay.

Anonymous said...

okay mr. jmckee. at the risk of belaboring the point, i too live in a condo. and yes it is my home. but it's not my house. for example, i'm at the gym, and i'm going home. i'm not going back to the house. get it?

The Children said...

Alessandra,

I think you're missing the point of the LOL's and emoticons, which is usually (at least in my interpretations of mr. Bigdaddy's comments) I believe meant to indicate that the comments are meant to be taken with a grain of salt and a sense of humor - not that I necessarily agree with everything he has to say, but I do feel sometimes people take what is said on this board (and themselves) a little too seriously and without context, which is, as he points out, that of a humorous blog that regularly mocks the taste and personal decisions of the celebs covered.

Maybe he sometimes goes a little too far in traveling beyond the realms of architecture and decor in his comments, but he still is not nearly as mean-spirited as some of the cretins who regularly plaster this site with the N*word and other slurs that completely generalize whole groups of people and not just an individual celebrity that, whether you like it or not, we are all entitled to offer our own opinions on.

Sadly, now that I've stepped off my soapbox, I do have to agree that I too have wondered how Mr. Phelps has become a sex symbol. I can understand his being an American hero and subject of inspiration to many, but, I would have to concur there's something lacking their in terms of the complete physical package to be considered a sex symbol.

"Can't we all just get along?" - Rodney King

bentley said...

There's a broad gap between tongue-in-cheek and rude and ignorant.

luke220 said...

A quote from TMZ comments:

" I bet The Crescent is THRILLED about all of this publicity! The condo building (which was finally turned into luxury apartments after there were NO sales) is barely at 50% and I think he bought one of the 2 townhomes that have sold out of, like, 8 or 9. This should boost their business quite a bit."

It is a development of much smaller units and the townhouses have poor design. Particularly if one lives in a townhouse, it is not unusual to refer to it as a "house".

Regarding Phelps' appeal, I think that many find his quirky appearance appealing, and he certainly is an inspirational model.

PS. I find is housing investment choice a bad one.

Sandpiper said...

Bentley, my friend, you've summed it up so succinctly. Such a fine line separates these distant behaviors, yet the true intention is so painfully obvious.

I've heard this bigdaddyj retort before, when his feet have been put to the fire.

BDJ inquires:

Isn't the whole tone of Mama's website snarky, tongue-in-cheek lampooning of the celebs covered?

If you ask a question, BDJ, you're receptive to an answer -- and my response in earnest respect is:

This is a pretty loose ship, I entirely agree with you, BDJ. But lately, your comments are so dark, hurtful and disturbing. And, I don't know why that is. Aunt Mary's one hell of a woman -- and one smart cookie, to boot. She didn't deserve that. C'mon, really. You okay?

StPaulSnowman said...

You know, there is a limit to what you can change about your appearance. It is easy to sit behind your magic screen and ridicule someone's face. Phelps has done an amazing job at maximizing the gifts he does have through hard work. Yes maybe he will make improvements in his ears and jaws, now that he can easily afford it, but the nasty comments about his face would be painful to anyone....very painful. I suspect that those who made these comments felt a little better about themselves for a moment. I like snarky but it doesn't have to be witless cruelty. Look a little deeper into what this guy has worked for and accomplished and celebrate his new...house, home, condo, residence, or whatever you choose to call it.

lil' gay boy said...

Freedom of speech is a wonderful concept; more than a right, it's a privilege. And along with that privilege comes consequences, especially within the blogosphere. Just look to the semantic extremes reached about house vs home.

So snark away; say whatever you please. But be prepared –– don't go acting all hurt and offended when someone else exercises their right to say you've offended them.

I firmly believe there are no sacred cows. Yes, Phelps is (apart from that body!) no Adonis; but he's hardly The Elephant Man either. And his Olympic accomplishments do not entitle him to the kid glove treatment; he's worked hard for what he's achieved and will justly reap the rewards.

But as Snowman said, some comments could be deeply painful, regardless of personal achievement. It should come as no surprise that some people would be offended, and say so.

so_chic_darling said...

We live in such a sour time and the world is in a very precarious state right now that I feel we should all be celebrating Michael Phelps's medals. There isn't much to cheer about so that's why I love the Olympics, right now I'm watching the American synchronized swimming team and it is beyond fabulous.
Let him have the fortune he deserves and buy whatever the fuck he wants at least he didn't steal it or tax dodge it away in the Cayman Islands like all the republican patriot businessmen do.
Go down to the Chelsea piers in the summer and gag at the dozens of 100 million dollar plus boats moored side by side. Where are they registered? The Cayman Islands of course. Open an office there and say it's your head office, pay no taxes, buy 150 million dollar boat cruise up to your home country to say fuck the little people we don't have to pay taxes. Let's here some outrage about that please. If Michael's home office is in Baltimore at least the people will be getting a share of HIS wealth.

John McKee said...

for example, i'm at the gym, and i'm going home. i'm not going back to the house. get it?

I bet you've said "Hey, let's meet at my house..." or "Hey, let's go back to my house" before.

Bigdaddyj said...

Wow, who knew my little ol' comments would cause such a wildfire, LOL (sorry, alle, still gonna use 'em...). So, in deference to the community, a semi-apology, but also a little explanation...1) 99.9% of my vitriol against Michael Phelps is due to the amount of Michael Phelps overkill and media saturation, which has been absolutely 100% positive, to the point (IMO) of ridiculousness...the rebel/anarchist in me will always target someone for a little bit of a takedown whenever they are being universally loved in the media, and I felt/feel that Michael Phelps is indeed such a prime target, the way he has been getting gushed about and revered in the media lately (Seriously, even Jesus Christ himself didn't get that much one-sided good press). Some of you will say "so what" to that, and others will undersand what I'm getting at. Quite frankly, I don't care either way, but since it seems I've become the primary focus of this thread, I figured I would put that out there. To "The Children", thanks for your eloquent defense, your interpretation of my use of LOL's and emoticons is correct, they are there to punctuate and add some "inflection" to an otherwise flat and inflectionless form of communications, but apparently some people still don't get it. "Li'l Gay Boy", as usual your words are even handed and sage and taken as the middle ground in the arguement, I probably shouldn't jump all over folks when they express their offense at my words, but sometimes I just feel that a lot of people on this board are very hypocritical. That's all, I can't promise I won't offend any of you in the future, because quite frankly, I think a world were you aren't occasionally offended sounds more to me like Communist Russia or Facist China, and is not one I would want to live in. My humor might be offensive, but I also think it is generally literate, clever and well written. Feel free to disagree with that point as well, but I think there's an argument that some humor can be both simultaneously offensive and intelligent. Social commentary people, just social commentary, not using any weapons here other than words, and I sincerely hope given all he's got going on right now, that Michael Phelps has a lot of better things to do right now than read our mama's little blog...;-)

Bigdaddyj said...

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

-George Carlin

Chris said...

bigdaddyj nailed it perfectly for me. The guy has a sleek body of course (how could it be otherwise) but he looks sorta DUMB and flat-headed and semi-goofy. I hope he keeps on eating 7000 calories a day (or was it 10,000?) after he stops swimming and his gorgeous bod goes all Schwartznegger-like.

Anonymous said...

john mckee. yeah i have. what's your point?

Anonymous said...

Like So_Chic said...

At least he worked his ass off for the money. Not by pushing papers behind a desk.

He is a bit goofy looking but really...who cares? The dude's a swimmer, not a supermodel.

More power to him if he gets a Gatorade endorsement.

Anonymous said...

That building however looks a bit like a brick prison.

whydontyougoawaybigj said...

ya know some of you need to go get some manners. Mr J you sir need to respect your elders. I did not visit here to read your lewd statements about undergarments or how silly you think you are. Attacking our dear sweet lovable Aunt Mary is not something that will gain you anything other than notoriety .

Anonymous said...

bigdaddyj, you're a twisted fucker. Enjoy your fifteen minutes. Time's up. Bet you're short, fat, ugly and broke.

Anonymous said...

Tear down bigdaddy all you want, it won't change the fact that Michael Phelps is as ugly as sin or that bigdaddy makes you all look like the uptight homos and fag hags you are

Josh Flagg said...

Most of the "Regulars" on this site are a bunch of hypocrites and gasbags who only seem to have a sense of humor when it comes to their own pretentious ramblings, I for one find it downright hysterical how they seem to arbitrarily decide which comments are offensive and which are in good taste. You go bigJ!

Anonymous said...

http://jmckee.googlepages.com/me.jpg

GOOD LORD! That guy is missing 1/4 of his face!

Anonymous said...

MCGEEBROWS!

Anonymous said...

I think you guys are jealous of his 14" feet! He will be getting so much trim and using all his assets in the place. God Bless Phelps and his American success story. The rest of you are a bunch of sad losers or snippy petty homos.

luke220 said...

I hope that he makes tons of money so that the loss he'll have to take on the Baltimore townhouse won't matter.

The Children said...

After reading Bigdaddy's Mea Culpa (though really Bigdaddy, you mentioned an apology but I really didn't read one), I do think it is necessary to point out that "beloved Aunt Mary" is really the one who threw the first stone, so to speak.

Bigdaddy's target was Michael Phelps, who is a celebrity, and as he takes great pains to try to explain to us, an open target for satire (tasteful or not) under the laws of United States and numerous supreme court rulings.

It was then "sweet old Aunt Mary" who made things personal by calling Bigdaddy a "cretin", moving the conversation from one about the public figure (Phelps_ to one about a blogger (Bigdaddy), and therefore I have to ask "Who is the real cretin?"

The subsequent reaction just shows to me what several others have already stated, that the self-congratulatory and smug "regulars" of this site are, well, do I need to explain it any further.

Shame on you, regulars, and you know who you are!

luke220 said...

Ok, we all agree, John McKee is better looking than Michael Phelps. Let's move on.

Kenny said...

nice house. being an olympic swimmer really pays off.

visit my website at: http://www.homesoftherich.net

Cuddles Kovinsky said...

It's just those common Baltimore public schools. God, I wish I lived in Connecticut!

Anonymous said...

Hey Luke, with all due respect, I think Phelps is better looking than McGee.

And Kenny, BUY A F**KING AD ALREADY!

Anonymous said...

Mama, please delete Kenny. It's not fair that he tries to hitch a ride.

kenny said...

Please don't delete my links. I can't get anyone to read my blog. None of my stories have comments. I really wish someone would but I can't help that I only know how to copy other sites.

Jesse B. said...

To those who bash Baltimore. I just read that Maryland is STILL ranked the wealthiest state in the nation. Haters never win.

Anonymous said...

M.P. has been making over 3 million dollars a year for the past 5 years. Don't cry real tears of joy for his new found money. he's been living large for quite some time. Now he can live larger.

Anonymous said...

M.P. has been making over 3 million dollars a year for the past 5 years. Don't cry real tears of joy for his new found money. he's been living large for quite some time. Now he can live larger.

Anonymous said...

What's the matter with you guys. You live wherever you want, you spend the money you want. It's his money. He earned it. What's the big deal?. Anyway the main thing he gotta do is save money otherwise he's leading to the hell as we do.
NO "BITCH" WORDS PLEASE. RESPECT!!.

Anonymous said...

Michael has not purchased the Meadowbrook Swim Club. that is a rumor based on speculation and is totally untrue.

Anonymous said...

All the pictures linked to this and other articles like it are not of Phelps actual residence but of the development clubhouse. Search The Crescent at Fells Point click gallery and then click clubhouse. that's where all those pictures are copied from.

Anonymous said...

Literly Moved Like 10 mins away from me... lol NOOO LIE

Anonymous said...

Literly Moved Like 10 mins away from me... lol NOOO LIE