Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hamish Linklater Lists His Nest in Eagle Rock

SELLER: Hamish Linklater
LOCATION: Mont Eagle Place, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $675,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: 1958 Traditional sited in prime Eagle Rock hills. Sweeping views, high ceilings, clean lines. Light and airy living room with panoramic mountain views. Large formal dining room offers awesome vista views. Entertainer’s delight. Three spacious bedrooms, 1.5 baths, renovated eat-in kitchen. Character, detail, beautiful hardwood floors throughout. Attached 2-car garage.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Sorry children, but there has been some sort of snafu with the internets this morning so we haven’t had any access to the online all morning. We struggled and dialed and shouted and pleaded. It took 5 hours and two and a half Bloody Marys to be restored. Needless to say, Your Mama is half crocked and it's barely past noon. Anyhoo, enough of our troubles...

Your Mama well understands that most of you probably haven’t got a clue who this Hamish Linklater person is and why his house would be included on our little online endeavor about celebrity real estate. Well, to be honest, Your Mama didn’t know a thimble full about Mister Linklater either when we were first contacted by East Side Edna about his modest and not particularly priddy house in Los Angeles’ Eagle Rock neighborhood which he recently put on the market with an asking price of $675,000.

As soon as we had access, Your Mama consulted the always informative interweb where we learned that thirty-something year old Mister Linklater is an actor–and new daddy–lucky enough to have a regular role on the usually funny and often under-rated Julia Louis Dreyfus driven boob toob program The New Adventures of Old Christine.

For those not intimate with the highways and bi-ways of at the northeastern end of Los Angeles, let Your Mama act as your tour guide. The Eagle Rock neighborhood, once a bit scrubby and some say dangerous, sits north and east of arty farty Silver Lake, south and east of Glendale, north of the somewhat revitalized downtown and southwest of polished Pasadena.

Some folks Your Mama knows appreciate Eagle Rock for its out of the way location, more modest than Silver Lake housing prices and great views. It’s basically a big hill of a ‘hood, after all. Others we fraternize with fear for their luxury automobiles when in the area and some of our snobbiest buddies and biddies think twice before going east of Western Avenue and would never even dream of going to Eagle Rock. Ever.

Anyhoo, Mister Linklater and his wifey Jennifer certainly goes to Eagle Rock and according to property records has been schlepping to his hilltop home since September of 2004 when he and his wifey Jessica purchased their 1,510 square foot house for $515,000.

Listing information for Mister and Missus Linklater’s non-celebrity style house shows it was constructed in 1958 and includes 3 bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms. Other features includes a living room with peaked and beamed ceilings, a dated looking brick fireplace and a skinny red rug that Your Mama is 100% positive would be happier in a hallway somewhere. The dining room is the very definition of ordinary and like the living room has been "decorated" with a rug that is simply too small for the room. Do not even get Your Mama going on the laminate flooring or that tawdry twenty nine dollar Home Despot chandelier. Pleeze. There is not excuse for that shit. Seriously. Someone should have advised Mister and Missus Linklater to get themselves to Ikea where they could have purchased a five dollar paper shade that would have been a major improvement.

Clearly some misguided individual tried to add a little sparkle and panache to the (0ut)dated kitchen with the multi-colored tile back splash. But at the risk of sounding like an asshole (which we recognize we sometimes do), it's a little like putting lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig, children, and to make matters worse it's a pig with a befuddling beige tile floor.

The bathroom tile on the other hand is a lovely shade of tur-qwaze and Your Mama thinks we could probably work with that bit of retro bizness if it's in as good of shape as it appears to be in the photograph. Our online research turned up the information the Mister Linklater is an avid gardener. You certainly wouldn't know it from the easy maintenance and rat friendly ivy covered front yard, but it's clear someone has taken some time to lay out some bark and flagstones in the back yard areas in a thoughtful manneer.

Listen children, Your Mama knows that most of you will skewer this house like it was a dripping chunk of lamb on a shish-kabob, but Your Mama actually thinks that someone with a modest budget and an eye for style could work wonders on this house. Really, we do. Honestly! Your Mama would recommend starting with the kitchen, natch. If the bank account did not allow for a gut reno, we do believe we could make do with with a new floor (beige tile looks like a janitor's closet), some upgraded appliances (believe it or not Sears carries some nice looking mid-priced models), new cabinet hardware (something from Lowe's will suffice), some paint for the cabinets (let's try painting them black for fun) and a trip across town to Wertz Brothers in Santa Monica for a funky, fine and affordable table and chairs where guests can sip Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's while the hostess spins out some homemade hummus.

Until we hear di-rectly from Mister Linklater–and we don't expect we will–we can only guess at why he'd sell his unimproved house in a lagging market. But he's recently had a new baby and perhaps the Missus Linklater isn't interested in spending the next two years humping the Bugaboo stroller up and down the full flight of stairs leading to the front door. And maybe, just maybe, the last four years on the boob toob have put a fair number of pennies in his pocket that will allow him to move on to something a little, well, better. Both are good enough reasons for someone to want to move, don't the children agree?

YOUR MAMAS UPDATE: Well lo and behold, Mister Big Time and Your Mama are mining the same part of town today and he also discussed Mister Linklater's Eagle Rock nest too. But good ol' Big Time also uncovered the $1,362,000 house in Los Feliz are of L.A. that Mister Linklater and his wifey Jessica bought. Bravo Mister Big Time!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg, finally mama!!!!!!!

i have been check every 10 minutes

Anonymous said...

um, the coffee bean has FREE internet!!!! (next time)

pch said...

He does a great job on Christine. And I agree the place could be charmed up without too much work.

Is Eagle Rock as bad as that? I wouldn't move there, but I'd go for a party or something.

JB in Silverlake said...

I was in Eagle Rock once, and only once. I think perhaps it's best to act as if it doesn't exist.

Chris said...

Why do all these show biz types think that houses (theirs) are worth more today than they were in 2004? Do they not know that the lousy RE market has spread everywhere? Do they really expect to get more now than four years ago or less?

Chris said...

The "better" is a larger house in Los Feliz that you can see on Big Time Listings. Much nicer, I think.

Anonymous said...

WTF mama. Get your shit together. a POS in Eaglerock....Really

Anonymous said...

WTF mama. Get your shit together. a POS in Eaglerock....Really

Anonymous said...

The house next door is half the square footage and sold 5 months ago for 420k. I predict it will sell for around 600k.

Anonymous said...

It's not the location of the home it's the "Celebrity" factor that put it here ! and the fact the write- up was hilarious!!!

Anonymous said...

Their new place is on Myra in Los Feliz.

MJ in ER said...

pch, Eagle Rock's not as bad as all that, it's in fact not bad at all. And the area where Linklater's house is isn't the best section of Eagle Rock - that would be in the rectangle bounded by Colorado Blvd to the south, Hill Dr to the north, Eagle Rock Blvd to the west, and Eagle Vista Dr. to the east. Great neighborhood and some really lovely houses. And the local elementary school (Dahlia Heights) is one of the best in the LAUSD. For those of us who can't afford the listings Mama and Mr. Big Time talk about, it's a great place to live. Just a little perspective for y'all.

Trey said...

OMG! I can't stop laughing. Brillant post ever, Momma.

Anonymous said...

Is it me or does Mama seem to have lost her touch? Maybe it was the move but I have seen nothing but uninteresting houses on this site for the past three weeks. Even the status of the sellers/buyers has been really poor. I am hoping it is just that nothing is going on in the world of celebrity porn. Rather than hang around and bitch I am going to take a two week break and hope there is something less boring in late September. I bet I am not the only one who feels this way.

I've Got Mama's Back said...

Wow. Some of you people are really crass and rude. Mama spends a lot of time and energy doing this and you come to bitch about the "quality" of the houses and the wattage of the star?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps there aren't a lot of really great celebrity transactions happening at the moment? Did it ever occur to you that Mama is not omniscient and can only write about the properties she finds or hears about from her sources?

If you think she's doing such a lousy job start your own blog and see how easy it is to come up with all this information every fucking day.

Mama's Mama said...

4:01 - Off to bed without your dinner and be glad Mama hasn't unpacked the dreaded wooden spoon (at least I can't find it).

4:14 - Come over here and let Mama's Mama hug you to my generous bosom. Now I need to smack your butt for using "fucking". I didn't raise up a child to have her children talking like that.

average joe :} said...

They accepted my full price offer but I couldn't get a loan. The broker said my credit was wrecked from all those NSF checks I wrote at Ibiza Tan.

Alessandra said...

The exterior facade is crap (Curb appeal is NOT just a concept), but the interior isn't too terrible, especially for a part of town that hasn't been tarted up by celebrity home owners for the past forty+ years.

PCH, Eagle Rock is funky and artistic and low-key. Some okay houses, some fun shops, some good eats. Nothing spectacular, but people who live there like the quiet and the quick access to downtown, Burbank, Glendale, Pasadena etc. I wouldn't diss it, and it certainly a great place to buy a decent starter homes in price ranges that don't make most people's eyes bleed ($500+ range).

jhkirkendall said...

Good heavens, Mama! "Silverlake" is a no-no. "Silver Lake" is a yes-yes!

Respectfully,
Joe

lil' gay boy said...

East Coast translation:

1958 (old) Traditional sited in prime Eagle Rock hills (sits on the damn curb & you enter via fire escape). Sweeping views, (if you tilt your head just so) high ceilings (drafty), clean lines (no architectural features). Light and airy living room with panoramic mountain views (just over the top of the neighbor's roof). Large formal dining room offers awesome vista views (big windows look into your neighbor's bathroom). Entertainer’s delight (maid lives nearby). Three spacious bedrooms (ignore the snoring), 1.5 baths (2 crappers), renovated eat-in kitchen (new paint). Character, detail, beautiful hardwood floors throughout (see photos on dining room wall). Attached 2-car garage (what's that smell?).

Well, that was fun.

LATransitGirl said...

Oh, Mama. We sorta Hollywood types have been hiding out in Eagle Rock for some time. Now you go and blow our cover! Pleeeeeeze cease and desist from this or we'll be having all those snooty Westsiders looking for deals and a 'real' life here.

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Anonymous said...

It's actually not that bad except for the outside, which is dreadful. They need to call the producers of that show "Curb Appeal." I totally agree w/ the kitchen floor. That whole room needs to be gutted and started over.

Anonymous said...

stop foreclosure, buy a damn ad before we all go fill out bogus "leads" on your loan origination form on your blog. You'll waste a month trying to figure out when you have a real customer.

Anonymous said...

Hamish and Wanda Sykes are the best two things about that otherwise annoying show.

Hippie Canyon said...

You'll forgive me Mama, but I must confess I thought about doing an intervention for you. And believe me... I know from intervention! But at this point, without a substantial fix from realestalker in a l-o-n-g time, I think I need the intervention. But, rather than have yet another dirty martini, allow me to "vent," as it where. Umm, just a few things really. Eagle Rock is, sorry people, the hood. If I wanted to see middle class homes I'd... well, I'd take a walk in my own neighborhood! Thanks but no thanks, I don't want to see such homes. I have my car windows heavily tinted to protect me from the glare of unseemly homes as I drive back & forth to Turner's, and I don't look out the front windows of my way-too-humble abode so as to avoid loosing my dirty martini when I see my tack-less celebrity has-been neighbor standing on the deck of his equally dated and tacky home, throwing another tantrum in front of the LAPD. I need realestalker to fill this void. Next, Silver Lake - sorry my brothers & sisters - is almost as crappy as Eagle Rock. ALMOST. The handful of hip restaurants and coffee salons cannot make up for the incredibly high crime rate, discount stores, TV repair shops and gay bars that are true dives. Silverlake is still the hood. And frankly, who gives a brat's ass about a dirt lot in Brentwood (Sorry Bill R., but B'wood is too Republican for my taste). Spare us the Texas disaster zones, the trillion dollar studios overlooking Columbus Circle, and the archeological digs of upper class studs. I know, I know. The market is very slow, and there are idiots out there still trying to sell homes at above market value while others are selling at 2/3 of original list price. So many people are keeping their listings on the low-low... pocket listings and such. But come on, there has to be something out there worthy of Mama's expertise. We need some glorious real estate or some truly awful real estate owned by the latest Hollywood train-wreck, that will allow us to, you know, enjoy ourselves. I know Mama's expertise and connections are top drawer, and we've seen truly great pix and narratives in the past that are incomparable to other blogs or websites. I'm hoping that its only a matter of time before we see the sort of real estate porn to which we've all grown accustomed return. Call up those assholes at TimeWarner and let them know who is boss, Mama. If they don't keep you online, contact your area rep. They should know which cages to rattle, so that you keep da inner-nets hooked up properly.

Anonymous said...

Someone needs an intervention, and maybe to put down the martini glass and take a nap! And it Ain't My Mama!

Anonymous said...

I told you I wasn't the only one who thought things were slipping around here. After some thought, I am concerned that Mama's change in vantage point from the sophistication of NYC to the superficiality of LA has compromised her Weltanschauung. I would respectfully submit the MaCooters should consider a move to Switzerland so Mama can get her Mojo back.

lil' gay boy said...

Hippie, I feel your pain; it's almost as if, for some strange reason, what we've considered as silly ass celebs have suddenly notched up a few IQ points (or had a "road to Damascus" moment) and realized the downturn has hit them too.

They're just not buying & selling.

Alessandra said...

Our Mama is good, but she can't force celebrities to list their homes or buy mega-mansions.

Had Tony Romo consulted her, or me, or anyone with taste in America, he'd never have made his Dallas purchase. Mama can't be blamed for that.

Anonymous said...

I'm convinced the problem isn't Mama OR the celebrities.

If Mama tells us about a celebrity looking at/buying/selling an expensive home, the children whine about where did they get the money.

If Mama tells us about a celebrity owning a reasonable home (most do by the way), the children whine because it isn't fabulous enough or in an exclusive enough neighborhood.

Mama has the right idea and I think I'm taking her lead. Ignore your stupid a@@es.

Anonymous said...

This place is a disaster.

Anonymous said...

When is Compton going to be featured?

Anonymous said...

WOW! This is my street and I never knew, just said in passing walking the dog.

Great street, great people and a lot of creative professionals

Anonymous said...

I think it very sweet that a he lives in this neighbourhood and proves he is one of the people. It's called socialism. And more power to him.