Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Kanye Dumps Donda's Digs

SELLER: Kanye West for Estate of Dr. Donda West
LOCATION: Rindge Ave, Playa Del Ray, CA
PRICE: $1,745,000
SIZE: 2,009 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Striking remodeled contemporary Beach House, situated on Playa Del Rey Hill offers sparkling views of the ocean, open and airy spaces, top of the line stainless steel kitchen, and light hitting all angles of the house. The home is landscaped wonderfully and features zen-like fountains and shrubbery. A courtyard for entertaining opens to the middle of the house and serves as a wonderful bonus. There are 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, and it's only 2 blocks from the sand.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen children, Your Mama is going to start this morning on a bit of a sad note. Once upon a time not too long ago Miz Dr. Donda West–the proud momma of (newly single) hip hop supa-stah Kanye West–went in to have a little nip, tuck and a suck. However, the celebrity mom died tragically and unexpectedly just days after the cosmetic procedures. It was national damn news. Remember that children? Anyhoo, Autopsy reports revealed Miz West perished due to coronary heart disease and complications related to the surgery. Say what you want about the divalicious antics of the son, but Miz West was only 58 years old, which is simply too young to go.

It only makes sense then, even to Your Mama's gin soaked bird brain, that Mister Kanye would eventually sell Momma West's Playa del Rey residence located two short blocks from the sugar sand on Rindge Avenue. Sho enuf, thanks to a surf side tipster we'll call Slick Willie, Your Mama has learned that Momma West's crib has hit the market with an asking price of $1,745,000. For those not familiar with a map, Playa del Rey is a small beach community located just south of Marina del Rey and just north of Los Angeles International Airport. Your Mama is actually quite familiar with this stretch of the southrun Calee-fornia sand having once spent a summer living in a diminutive dorm room at nearby Loyola Marymount University with a strange but firm bodied young man who obsessively plucked the Flamenco guitar. Don't ask.

Prop records show Momma West's wood sided contemporary crib measures a modest 2,009 square feet with three bedrooms and three bathrooms. Records reveal the house was purchased through one of young Mister West's real estate trusts in June of 2005 for $1,649,000. Given those purchase and asking prices, Your Mama's bejeweled abacus informs us that Mister West will likely lose a few shekels on this sale of this property. However, much as Mister West enjoys making money flipping real estate, we're quite sure that profiting from the sale of this house is not part of his game plan.

It would appear that Momma West and her baby boy did some renovation work on the place including installing a sleek and sexy stainless steel kitchen, just exactly the sort the children might expect to find in Kanye's krib. It's really quite lovely to look at, like a shiny and well oiled muh-sheen. However, Your Mama worries about the necessity, practicality and cost of a full time gurl whose only responsibility would be to polish all that stainless steel until it shines like a mirror.

Listing information indicates the corner property offers "sparkling" ocean views, which is always nice, and a central courtyard perfect for tucking away when the wind comes whipping up off the ocean. There is also a brick paved backyard area which includes a sunken 1970s era redwood hot tub. This feature should appeal to all the middle-aged grass toking swingers who wanna listen to the pounding surf while trying to woo their spouse's co-worker into a threesome or moresome. Bowm-chicka-bow-bowm!

Your Mama is superstitious (and believe it or not, respectful) enough that we are loathe to speak ill of the dead or their homes. So we won't discuss our thoughts on the day-core. However, we can't leave the glass brick in the bathroom unmentioned. We are not much bothered by the grey slate tiles but we think all that glass brick in the bathroom was a serious error in design judgment. We hope that dated bit of design has not been replaced because Miz West and her filial design freak just hadn't yet gotten around removing that 1980s decorating derring-do.

Given that his house is well located near the beach and is priced only just above the 2005 purchase price, we imagine it will garner much interest. And we hope so. Because although we don't care for Kanye West's attitude or his music, we're not so callous that we don't want him to lay his mother's memory to rest. Let this be a lesson to the children...your momma can be taken away at any moment, so step away from your damn computer and call the woman who birthed you and tell her that you lerv her.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

A sad thing indeed Mama, thanks for the update. I believe you're correct about the bathroom. It must have been on the short list of things yet to be done.

wreckingball said...

"This feature should appeal to all the middle-aged grass toking swingers who wanna listen to the pounding surf while trying to woo their spouse's co-worker into a threesome or moresome. Bowm-chicka-bow-bowm!"

That's exactly what I thought when I saw that teeny hot tub, it'll be quite the tight squeeze for all the neighbors to fit in.

Viva! said...

I don't like to speak ill of the departed. You're probably right, the bathroom was on the 'to do' list. Say what you will about Kanye but he loved his mom and treated her with love and respect and was an admirable son.

Anonymous said...

This sale isn't about a money thing - its about a MOVING FORWARD thing.

Anonymous said...

I actually like this place, minus the bathroom. THe decor looks nice and tasteful too.

pch said...

Playa del Rey? An odd choice for the mother of such a status-obsessed son.

Bigdaddyj said...

Well, that didn't take long, did it? Nice little house though, would probably make a good alternative to a condo for someone who needs a crash pad in LA but doesn't live there full time...

Parker said...

I agree with PCH but it makes me like the mom. Playa is not flashy at all. I like the house, and for someone who travels a lot, it would be perfect because of its proximity to LAX. Hop off the plane, drop off your bags at home, and run down to the beach (being careful not to get run over while crossing the street).

pudenda shenanigans said...

Ok, I have questions.

Dr. Donda? Was she a doctor or was that her hip-hop moniker?

Is that a raised bed of grass in a concrete-sided rectangular structure in the back yard (right up against a fence)? Like, 10 or so sq. feet of -grass-? With a lil' bush planted on top?

sandpiper said...

A very masculine design causes me to speculate he bought this as a surprise. I know the area too, Mama. It's nicely situated to shopping districts and the beach -- a good combo in my estimation.

Cutting beyond whatever reputation Kayne does or does not own (and I don't know either way), right now he's a boy that dearly loved and has now lost his mom. I hope this home sells quickly. Somehow, the early stages of closure are helped a little by taking care of details...like real estate. I wish this pain on no one.

Anonymous said...

She was probably a Ph.D. She was an English professor.

E.J. said...

She was not just a "Dr." by title. She had a doctorate (I believe in education) and was a Very well respected educator and very, very smart. Sad story. She probably lived there because it was close to colleges she worked at.

theflyingdutchman said...

LMU, fun. Wonder what Mama was doing there?!? I looked at it but ended up going somewhere else.

lil' gay boy said...

Sorry, I know the boy loved his mama, and the location is nice but understated, but I still find this a sad, cramped little house.

From what appears to be the former driveway-cum-unoccupied-pet-cemetery, to the cold, sterile courtyard, it's just depressing.

And will probably go in a hot New York minute . . .

Sammy said...

It looks like the place has just been left to fend for itself. I'm sure the cleaners and gardeners come still, but the house looks like someone started to move stuff out and then just gave up.

Maybe some stagers should come in to give it a "fresh start" sort of appeal, since this is the house that she effectively died in before being rushed to ER in Marina Del Rey.

Ugh. Sad.

Anonymous said...

If you look at the birds eye view on the various map sites, the images are from during the renovation (complete with dumpster out front). The rear of the house is two story. If you look at the photo Mama posted of the courtyard, you can see a spiral staircase inside on the left.

I can't find a shot from the angle to show the back of the property but from the birds eye view, I think the lower part of the two story portion back of the house is probably a garage. It appears there is a driveway ramp there off the alley. The fence around the "back yard" where the hot tub is butts up against the alley and Manchester Blvd.

Zillow says the house is 4 bedrooms/2 baths so I'm guessing part of the renovation was to open up some rooms.

My last observation (from having known someone years ago who lived on that street) is that it may be a couple of blocks from the beach as a seagull flies but further for a person to walk. You don't have a straight walk down the hill to the beach. And then you have to walk back up a hill afterwards.

sandpiper said...

2:47, are you the person that launches a birds-eye-view shortly after Mama posts something? I love it! (Thanks.)

So_chic, I'm with you on Lady Judge's rights to do as she pleases. If I stumbled in to her fortune, perhaps I'd do the same. Though seriously, I'd probably opt for several small and wonderful locations ... France, Holland, Greece, maybe an island (or two). :)

Anonymous said...

Sand, not always but sometimes I have a tough time matching the description to the photos and the birds eye can clear it up. A bunch of us use it now, I can't remember which of the regular children started it. Might have even been one of the ones who has since run away from home after Mama found that crazy crack child on the step that no one else wants.

Ihaveaprettyhugedick said...

lordy this house is one uglee dump!!! i mean he has more money than me and i live in a nicer home than this. i mean it is the most uglle house i have ever seen besides this one here
http://bp2.blogger.com/_61djkGwfEZo/R53tTUXijkI/AAAAAAAAByU/0HcjfXultig/s1600-h/Baio_PICS.jpg

http://bp3.blogger.com/_61djkGwfEZo/RhZW3kAFTUI/AAAAAAAAAnc/yfiMvJspP7U/s1600-h/Simmons_PICS.jpg

sandpiper said...

Hi 9:13,
However you do it, it's very cool. Thanks, and I do notice your good work! I hope you think about taking a name. It would be nice. :)