Sunday, June 15, 2008

The British Are Coming!


BUYER: Heather Mills
LOCATION: Perry Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $4,900,000
SIZE: 1,853 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...The apartment comprises of 1853 sq ft with living-dining space running the full length of the building, with two terraces at each end. Floor to ceiling windows surround this stunning two bedroom, two bathroom apartment. Every detail has been designed by Richard Meier including temperature controlled window shades, heating system, multi-zoned A/C, entertainments and sounds system.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Flush with a mountain of money from her fiercely brutal, all too public and dee-voonly dramatic dee-vorce from Beatle Paul McCartney, peg-legged British activist Heather Mills is getting on a jet plane and coming to America. Although no one knows how better to throw it down in front of a seething phalanx of paps, the much maligned Miz Mills is reportedly tuckered out tired of courting, er, Your Mama means being hounded by the British press and has reportedly contracted to purchase a $5,000,000 condominium in lower Manhattan.

Several weeks ago Miz ex-McCartney was spotted checking out pictures and plans for the undulating glass tower being built at One Jackson Square. However, it seems Missy Mills decided on something already built. According to the always well informed Braden Keil at the New York Post, Miz Mills is in the process of purchasing a ninth floor unit in one of the Richard Meier designed green glass towers that loom over the West Side Highway in the very far West Village.

The sleek, modern and minimally designed full floor unit encompasses 1,853 square feet and features a private elevator landing, two small balconies and long walls of floor to ceiling glass that provide awesome views of the mighty Hudson River as well as into the neighbors living rooms. The unit has been fitted and kitted with all the hi-tech gadgets a gurl could want and the living room stretches 40 feet across the front of the entire building. Both bedrooms are really more sleeping chambers than properly sized bedrooms and poor little Beatrice ,who will apparently be shuttled between her two warring parents, will only have an itty bitty bedroom that measures only a bit more than nine feet wide.

Property records (and the New York Post) reveal that the apartment is being sold by Joseph Castaldo, who heads up a textile company called The Style Council (and not the 1980s Brit band) who purchased the apartment back in September of 2002. Mister Meier's trio of architectural tour de forces, which have long been rumored and reported to suffer from leaks and other issues, have always attracted big name buyers including Vincent Gallo, Calvin Klein, Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Nicole Kidman Cruise Urban's sister Antonia Hawley, and tech titan Bill Joy who recently karate chopped the asking price of his tremendous and tasty triplex from a bone rattling $40,000,000 to an eye popping $33,000,000.

29 comments:

so_chic_darling said...

Oh no she's going to be my neighbor. There was a time when the West Village was a stylish quiet residential part of Manhattan. Her arrival is the revolting climax of new money and flash taste that has made the West Village the Sex and the City theme park that it has become. The sidewalks are just not wide enough for the giant Marc Jacobs handbags and were never designed for this kind of thing.

Alessandra said...

The public rooms are acceptable, but the bedrooms appear to be practically vestigial.

And for that kind of money, I don't know why you can't design an attached bath for both bedrooms. There is room if you reconfigured the foyer a little.

So, basically, I don't hate it as much as I hate her, but I feel bad for so_chic. Having Heather Mills as a neighbor doesn't seem like fun.

Chris said...

I wouldn't like one of the bedrooms to be next to the elevator that might be operating at night and disturbing my sleep or next to what appears to be a cleaning closet for the floor.
I like the fact that most of the apartment has window walls that don't abut another apartment. But the extreme modern style overall doesn't strike me as comfortable. And I prefer comfort. I recall Dan Radcliffe, boy wizard, bought two NYC apartments, one for 4 million the other for 5. The first is severe modern all windows with views of adjacent buildings and little else. He decided to rent that out and then bought the second that has nice views and appears far more comfortable.
BTW, Do these people think NYC real estate is underpriced?

StPaulSnowman said...

They sure do.........all you have to do is look at the much more expensive, but infinitely more beautiful properties for sale in the upper bracket in the UK. Nothing clarifies the "location, location, location" axiom more than this comparison. The houses she could have bought in England, with magnificent gardens, are amazing.

average joe said...

I'm buying a unit too. So Chic, when can we meet for coffee?

Anonymous said...

average joe you are a unit

caveman said...

i like it, nice for a single.
she could have forsaken some view & bought something a little more kid friendly but the kid is probably just an accessory so nevermind.

Anonymous said...

too bad you can't fit a proper rug in there with all those fucked up angles.

Anonymous said...

I'm just someone who enjoys looking at pretty real estate, so I'm no expert. I am a mom, however, and what bothers me is that it seems that while The Representative For Disabled Hookers Everywhere is entertaining in her bedroom,little Beatrice could easily slip out of her room and onto the elevator. Seriously, can we rely upon Ms. Mills to have high-placed locks on the front door?
Someone please tell me I've seen one too many horror movies.

caveman said...

wheres the bathtub for the kid?
she better take care of that kid, it is afterall her mealticket.
5 mil buys a nice kid friendly home/neighborhood in brooklyn, long island, etc., i'm sure.

so_chic_darling said...

I never said I lived in the same building.

Anonymous said...

oohhhh please. i don`t care if this is a richard meier condo (though a condo with his signature on it will hold its resale value for sure). and those bedrooms, c`mon. barely enough room to standback and look at your dress in the mirror. pish posh. me thinks that someone better tell miss mills that for every 1 british pound, you get some 2 yankee dollars. surely she can afford more than 2,000 sq ft. egads

Anonymous said...

The conditions of her divorce means she has to live in the U.K with her daughter - So everyone worrying about her kid in a small bedroom ... don't! This is merely a Manhattan crash pad ... & yes 'these people' do think that NYC real estate is underpriced ... compared to central London; Manhattan is a bargain & with the exchange rate this place only cost her £2.5M or thereabouts ... single parking spaces sell for £500K in London!

Viva! said...

so_chic_darling,

You have my sympathies. Although not an East Coaster myself...I've always found the West Village to be stylish and quiet. I was horrified the last time I was there. To call it a Sex and the City themepark is putting it mildly. And NOW you've got Heather Mills to contend with. She better stay the HELL out of California!

Anonymous said...

Oh right......like everyone in California is brimming with integrity......but it would fit the California mindset to want to exclude someone who is disfigured naturally rather than surgically.

Viva! said...

anonymous 8:09,

Get over yourself. What did I say about Heather Mills' integrity? And what did I say about her prosthetic leg? Not a damn thing. Pathetic.

I simply don't like Heather Mills because she's a loon. I hardly need her manipulative self cruising around Coldwater Canyon, driver's are awful as it is!

sandpiper said...

Hi 3:00,
The proximity of daughter's room to entry was my first reaction, too.

This layout would be perfect for a single person, where the second / smaller bedroom serves as an office. I can't believe this plan was intended to function as side-by-side bedrooms.

More importantly ... Heather WHO?

lil' gay boy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lil' gay boy said...

Too close to home for me too, So_Chic; despite her charitable activities, she's still a vulgar paparazzi chasing (albeit a little slower on one leg) gold digger to me.

;-)

Any Meier apartment would be nice (although in a recent magazine article, he admits to living in a pre-war himself), but this one is too small and not at all kid-friendly; good thing it won't be her main residence, but $5M is a lot for a pied de terre when one could just hotel it.

Heather who? What a hoot.

PR to the Starz said...

Here is a censored sample of what she references as "art" photography.

I'm feeling throw-upy.

http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/heather_porn_censored.jpg

Anonymous said...

Question: I'm not too good at reading the drawings: Does a guest have to go thru her bedroom to get to the loo?

TIA.

Anonymous said...

No, there is a second bath right outside the bedroom door, opposite the front door of the unit.

pch said...

I like what I see in the plans and photos...though not sure about those hotel ballroom-ish accordion doors.

Anonymous said...

The views are great. Other than that I hate this place, although its unappealing angles seems a suitable fit for Heather's personality.

Anonymous said...

Heather, bring some of that cash to California. We need to reduce inventory out here in the 5 million plus category. Our state treasury also needs the re-assessed propety tax increases.

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine her angst? Of the double towers, this is the low option building. Slumming it Heather? You are obviously an out of towner. Cheeky monkey. Do not disgust us with tabloid banter about slutty exploits in this unit. Your credibility is a despised zero within our boarders. We only care about the health and welfare of children. Be discreet.

Polly said...

Watch out Heather it looks like some old Village Hippie Wican just put a jinx on you.

Anonymous said...

$5m to live in a shoe box? Move to Spain and get a toy boy Heather - then I can bump your daughter with you miles away

Anonymous said...

Mama.........you better crack down on the pedophilia cracks right away!