Thursday, June 5, 2008

In Other Celebrity Foreclosure News...

First there was the juiced up beefy baseballer Jose Conseco who walked away from his multi-million dollar mansion in Encino, then yesterday the world learned that old man Ed McMahon is facing foreclosure on his Bev Hills mansion, and today we received a communique from the Georgia Peach who linked Your Mama over to an article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution that details the foreclosure drama swirling around boxing bigwig and Dancing With the Stars alum Evander Holyfield.

Now children, as you might expect, the only information Your Mama knows about former World Heavy Weight Champion Mister
Holyfield is that moe-ronic Mike Tyson once bit off a chunk Mister Holyfield's ear in a fight and that the man is a damn fool for being a boxer to begin with. Jeezis H. Christ children, is there a more brutal, undignified or stoopid sport than boxing? All you fighting fans can whimper and whine all you want, but Your Mama's answer to that question will always be, "No."

Anyhoo, not only is Mister Holyfield reported to be legal hot water for not paying child support to absurdly named baby momma Toi Jenese–one of the six women who pushed out one of Mister Holyfield's nine childrenthe bird brained boxer's mammoth mansion that sits on 235 acres southwest of Atlanta in an itty bitty place called Fairburn is scheduled to be auctioned off on the county courthouse steps on Ju-lye the first. But children, we ain't done with Mister Holyfield's legal tanglings and troubles quite yet. Oh no. According to gossip juggernaut TMZ, the seed spreading and not very frugal fist fighter is also being sued to the tune of $550,000 for allegedly unpaid landscaping bills.

Mister Holyfield's residential pile of bad taste is reported to have 104 rooms, 54,000 square feet and sits on a huge chunk of land made up of several parcels strung along
Evander Holyfield Highway. You can't make that shit up children. And did you note the big daddy sized swimming pool? Holy cow!

How does this happen to people who make a couple hundred million smackers during their careers? We know they got the taxes, people to pay, and this one's got nearly dozen damn children to support, but still, Mister
Holyfield was reportedly paid a whopping $34,000,000 for that famous fight with mystifying Mike Tyson in 1997 and there's simply no excuse for not having any of it left. None.

We want to feel bad for the man because it's never easy for anyone, rich or poor, to suffer the loss of their home. However, we're feeling cynical today and we don't feel bad. This man was not bamboozled or confused by some silly sub-prime loan resetting, and his one time fat bank account would have gained him entry into the offices of the finest of financial planners. The fact is, he simply spent too much damn money on his gigantic house with its obscenely large pool.

Now listen children, Your Mama's got to go dig up that bottle of nerve pills from the back of the medicine cabinet and have a lay down now because all this foreclosure madness has our blood pressure up and we refuse to have a damn heart attack over a man who hits other people for money.

26 comments:

so_chic_darling said...

109 rooms and a whole lot of marble.It takes more than that to impress me.

Anonymous said...

But that is one damned big cement pond!

Anonymous said...

I'm hear what you're saying about wanting to feel bad for these people but don't Mama. My folks worked hard, made a hell of alot less, gave generously to charity, denied themselves things and saved till it hurt, own their home outright, and don't borrow what they can't afford (if at all). Then you have celebs who blow through $100's of millions AND force those who trusted them with even more into expensive litigation just to get a fraction of what they're owed. Considering that most wealthy celebs came from nothing, it seems only natural that their 1st priority would be to make sure they don't end up back there again - but no. Go figure.

thevinylvillage said...

Hell I guess you need a house that big when you have to take off your socks to count all your children...

what an idiot. Can Mama find pictures of the interior? Im betting its tack-o-rama

JB in Silver Lake said...

104 rooms, 54,000 sq ft - I don't care how many damn chirrens you got runnin' round under foot, ain't nobody need something that damn big. My granny use to say "a fool and his money are soon parted." Here I always thought Holyfield was the smart boxer. Turns out he's just an idiot like that recently, and seriously, fat Mike Tyson. I'm with ya Mama...those damn nerve pills are in desperate need after reading bout this mess!

caveman said...

this one doesn't surprise me, no one can sustain that lifestyle from 10 yrs of boxing.
the rap stars will be losing their kingdoms next. most were pretty dumb with their money.
mr cents is way over his head

Anonymous said...

It looks like it might make an interesting boutique hotel.

luke220 said...

One can buy a three bedroom home in Fairburn for $39,000, so he'll have no problem finding a place within his means.

candycurlswirl@yahoo.com said...

They call it the Guitar house around here... people always assume some musician lives in it. Check out the view from Google earth...

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=http://bbs.keyhole.com/ubb/download.php?Number=42316&t=k&om=1

Anonymous said...

is there a more brutal, undignified or stoopid sport than boxing?

yes, ice dancing.

Anonymous said...

I gotsa feelin that many See-lebrities are in more debt than they'll be able to handle in the near future.

Look for many, many more washouts of "wealthy entertainers" in the next few years.

The "wealthy bankers" need nice cheap homes for their chilluns.

lil' gay boy said...

This is why I always keep my nerve pills at the front of the cabinet - you never know when a twinge of pity needs to be stomped down outright . . .


. . . he must have a little willie too, although with nine (NINE?!?!?!) chilruns, it appears to be in working order.

;-)

lil' gay boy said...

Oh, and the house is a vulgar pile of crap, too.

Alessandra said...

The house is a vulgar pile of crap, indeed, LGB. But I covet the pool because one could swim some serious laps in it.

I do not pity Evander Holyfield one single bit. He made a lot of money, and he should have saved for the proverbial rainy day and for the welfare of his children, who could field their own damn baseball team. It isn't that difficult to take your profits and hold 25% for taxes and 20% for savings, especially if you're making in excess of one million dollars and are self-employed. If you have the discipline to get to the top of your career, you should have the discipline to manage your finances better than a toddler.

that girl said...

Hmm - I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. The guy has no education and probably comes from nothing. How do most people learn about money? Their family, mostly. But education obviously plays a role.
Yes, he should have been more responsible. Yes, he should have saved for a rainy day and for the welfare of his children. But why do you presume he should be able to think like you do?

Chris said...

Looks sorta like it was designed by the same architect who did the Pentagon. And it sure makes Ed McMahon's place look like a shack out of Green Acres.

StPaulSnowman said...

Which concourse houses the terlit gurls?

Anonymous said...

I'm still trying to find out if the developer Bob Bisno lost his house in a foreclosure auction on June 4.

Bob seeks to create weapons of mass development including one in Baldwin Park which would use that City's right of eminent domain to condemm business and residential properties so he can build a new Civic Center which not very many of the local folks want, anyway.

Bob has had at least two Temproary Restraining Orders granted to block the Sheriff's auction of his Beverly Park property.

Perhaps the third time was the charm for his lender.

Anonymous said...

Mama, you know I am 99% your DNA and 1% Wacko Jacko, but none the less, your right. Your posting less--your old age is getting the best of you.

This depressing sh*t get's old. Anyway, Evander is just like the rest. Many have been hoping he would come to his sen$es and realize that mansion is too much. Like the rest, he denied to the court house steps--he was a music producer and started 10 other stupid biznesses. Anyway, BROKE. NOBODY except Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, not even Oprah can afford 50,000 sq ft estates. And, WTF for. So you can sit alone in that, you will def go Phil Spector living in a pile like that. No matter who you are you spend 95% of your time in 5 rooms. Those houses will be abandoned like they did those mansions in the guilded years--watch A&E. And, those of you who say "ignore" you are the gay decorator. Everyone read the bible--it's a great book--a best seller for 1500 years.

Mama's black sheep in WEHO.

Anonymous said...

Here's the rotunda at Holyfield's house:

http://www.blackburnstudio.com/images/hstairs.jpeg

Yowza!

Georgia Peach

StPaulSnowman said...

Many of the mansions of the Guilded Age were large but also very functional and designed not only for impressing others but also for comfortable luxurious living. This is hardly the same as a contemporary behemoth like this house. The former are to be admired as beautiful relics from another age while this house offers little based on the photos I have seen.

Anonymous said...

I agree snowman. This home is more like a palace, which is fine if you're a Queen of England figurehead type with a huge staff and full calendar of national diplomatic duties, but a boxer??

Please, it's a damn joke.

Anonymous said...

It just goes to show that packing a good punch may be more important than going to Harvard children.

grosse pointe brat said...

Swimming pools, and movie stars...

Gollee Evander, you shoulda moved to the hills of Bever-Lee...not the flats of Atlanta, woulda made more sense, I got the vapors, pass the nerve pills this away...Money can never buy taste, manners are a sign of good breeding...I'm just saying...pass the jug XXX

luke220 said...

Brat, even Evander knows that the land in Bever-Lee would have been outside of his budget for that pile.

alice cooper said...

Seems like big eye syndrome