Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Little Morning Mish Mash

As per usual on the Hump Day, Your Mama has about 40 million things to do so we're going to have a brief morning of mish mash.

1. Feisty flapjaw Ted Casablanca over at the glorious gossip grist mill that is E! Online recently reported that the world's most peripatetic parents Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have sold their New Orleans nest.

Prop records show the couple of do-gooding super stars paid $3,500,000 for the 7,435 square foot house in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. They bounced into town on several occasions with their large entourage of security, nannies, tutors and a trail of paps and even sent one or two of their multi-culti kiddies to some school or another, but the itchy footed family never seemed to put down much on the way of real roots in The Big Easy.

They are currently and allegedly holed up in the South of France at billionaire Paul Allen's Villa Maryland awaiting the arrival of twins. Or perhaps they've already moved to the Chateau Miraval, the 880 acre paparazzi proof estate they've reportedly leased near Aix en Provence.

Your Mama would not dare contradict Miss Casablanca or his crack team of tipsters lest we be subjected to a serious and severe verbal smack down. However, we would be ridiculously remiss in our "reporting" if we did not add that property records still show the big Pitt/Jolie manse on Governor Nicholls Street owned by a trust controlled by Mister Brad Pitt...or his people anyway. Perhaps the Parish people at the recorders office haven't gotten around to changing those records yet?

2.
We're a little late in getting this out, but The Washington Post reported some time ago that one and three quarter eared boxer Evander Holyfield denies that his 109 room mega manse in Fairburn, Fayette Country, GA will be foreclosed.

According to the legal notice in a local paper the 54,000 square foot mansion was scheduled to be auctioned off to the highest bidder on July 1. Your Mama sincerely hopes Mister Holyfield has saved his real estate ass because we seriously doubt there would be too many people in the Fairburn area looking to buy a behemoth with 17 bathrooms, 3 kitchens and a damn bowling alley.

3.
According to Fametastic, UK tabloid train wrecks Peter Andre and Katie Price–who for some reason Your Mama does not care to know goes "professionally" by the name Jordan–are house hunting in Beverly Hills. Ugh. The British blond with balloon sized breasts is reportedly willing to spend £3,000,000 for a house in Los Angeles where she's eager to "break into the US celebrity world."

Good grief children, does Hollywood really need another mammoth mammaried anal sex loving mother of three who named her daughter Princess–which is a dog's name, thank you–and was widely and publicly criticized for talking graphically about sex in front of her young children? Your Mama ain't no prude, but we don't think so.

23 comments:

Alessandra said...

Oh, Mama...more people should name their daughters "Princess". That way it will be very easy for us to tell what their priorities are and avoid them accordingly.

Anonymous said...

I would hate to be married to a celebrity - always changing homes. What is their problem?

grosse ponte brat said...

In regards to #3... WTF ??? Who are these people anyway... Stay the F in the UK and keep your skankiness there. We have enough here, sorry our quota got filled with those horrible Beckham's.

Anonymous said...

Sorry but how are the Beckhams skanky? She has fake tits & he's posed in his underwear for an Armani Campaign - Hardly skanky! ... They're pictured with their kids every single day, been together for 10+ years & are a proper family unlike many LA celebrities - Not to mention they've built a $500M fortune in less than 10 years ... Seriously, perhaps visit LA & you'll see true skankiness ...

ms_wonderland said...

Katie Price has worked those fake knockers into a business empire, with reality shows, 'books', clothes, houshold stuff and gawd knows what else. She's coming your way because she can never ever get enough attention.

Mrs Beckham is a shrinking violet compared to Katie.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't care less about soccer, but happen to like the Beckham's. They set a substantially better example of both personal and domestic behavior than a majority of other celebs do, including their American BFF's the Croozes.

Chris said...

Mama, you need to get over your shock at the behaviour of celebrities. There is no limit to their depravity, so harden your sensibilities and get on with it. Is this the Ted Casablanca who gossiped on and on about Jake Gyllenhaal (one has to suspect) as Toothy Tile? Why would you believe anything he says?

Anonymous said...

Beckham has posed in less than his underwear and it is fine by me. His wife in a burka would be fine by me too.

Anonymous said...

#3 British tart shopping for a crib in L.A.. Yesterday Brittney Spears was shopping around..... put them together and you get a Pop Tart :-)

Anonymous said...

Brit's a day old danish at this point.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice that the article for "Jordan" that states she's house hunting....is dated April of '07?


Mama... come on!

Anonymous said...

4:52, you're lucky Mama provided you even that. AS IF anyone actually cares what those 2 do.. please.

Anonymous said...

4:52
I guess you want us to be impressed with that obserbation. You must be Casey/Average Joe's box mate down by the river.

Bigdaddyj said...

The sale of that New Orleans place by Brangelina (is that their nickname now, lol) kinda just shows what phonies they are...they probably only bought the place for the PR, the "look how sympathetic and supportive we are by buying a house in poor, down-trodden New Orleans...." and then probably got bored or sick of the humidity and poverty surrounding them and decamped for the south of France...typical Hollywood phonies, doing typically impetuous things for phony reasons...I used to like both of them, but quite frankly I can't stand them since they got together, so F'n annoying anymore, and so, so PC phony....

Anonymous said...

i hate pc phony as much as you do, bigdaddyj, but, just for the record, it's ok by you to be pc for real, right?

speaking of people who are not pc, i have a place in the coronado shores, and cindy mccain lives in my building: mama, give us some gossip about her, i love when you dish it to the political types, like the recent post about baseball mitt romney

Anonymous said...

while i'm on my political soapbox, i'd just like to add:

lou dobbs should stop ranting about the immigration coming from mexico and start chattering his formerly wooden veneers about the brits (first the beckhams, then captain Ahab (for those of you who are not literary types, he was the one with the peg leg) {heathermills}, now the slutacious "Jordan"

the only brit i like is my best friend, whose british father gives me his scotch...

grosse pointe brat said...

Ouch, I guess you all gave it to me...but really, does this country need another pair of inflatable boobs...and I'm sorry I don't care what you think about Victoria B., she's just a talentless fame whore that looks like a twig with two baloons attached at chest level, never cracks a smile and looks like there's a stick shoved up her ass. David on the other hand might be nice to look at, but to hear Minny Mouse squeak, I think I'd rather go to Disney...and seriously folks, what is this facination with artificial boobs anyway, they look so fake and feel like rocks, you can spot them a mile away and American's are just retarded if they think these are sexy...just my two and a half cents...

Anonymous said...

gross pointe, apparently you didn't see Victoria's 'Coming to America' TV special awhile back. She's actually incredibly witty and fun. As for her being 'talentless', considering the enormous success she enjoyed as part of the Spice Girls pre Beckham, I beg to differ with you. I wasn't a fan of their music to be honest, but they had s-o-m-e-t-h-i-n-g, and young people at the time loved it and ate it up. I'm not a fan or sports including soccer either, but obviously alot of people are to merit David such an extremely lucrative contract. Criticise if you must, but at least be fair minded in your assessments.

Bigdaddyj said...

I can't stand Posh because she always has that look on her face like she's smelling bad cheese, and sorry for Becks, but soccer is never, ever going to catch on in this country...how many times has it been tried already and failed? Someone got snookered paying him all that money to play on a team that's probably just going to go broke in a couple years like every other time they've tried to bring professional soccer to the states as "the next big thing"...

Anonymous said...

There is a newer story on that site about Jordan wanting to move to LA. It says she has been to LA several times over the past year looking.

http://fametastic.co.uk/archive/20080507/11203/katie-price-peter-andre-considering-moving-to-la/

Anonymous said...

Bigdaddyj, you're a fucking moron.

Chauvinist Child said...

I hope Mama got big bucks for the Luxury blog advertising.........I visited the site and found it dry as a popcorn fart.

Anonymous said...

what happened to mama?
i miss the real estate scoop!!!