Thursday, April 17, 2008

Kelly Clarkson Goes Country

BUYER: Kelly Clarkson
LOCATION: Westview Avenue, Nashville, TN
PRICE: $1,490,000 (sale)
SIZE: 5,470 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: One of a kind stone home updated w/ fabulous additions. 5 br / 5 full ba. Open kitchen to den w/ large breakfast room at heart of the home. You will love the screened porch w/ stone fp + stone terraces. Great level treed lot. 9' ceilings. 3 car garage.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is reaching back into our archives on this one children and we do not want to hear any sassin' or fussin' from any of you mouthy children about how this is old news. Too bad. If you already know all about it then go read a damn newspaper and get educated about an issue or two that really matters or if that's too heady and depressing for y'all go see the gorgeous gurls at Go Fug Yourself and read all about our favorite fashionista Mary Kate Olsen's daring and creative clothing choices. For those of you that are interested, let's talk about former American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson and the Nashville nest she purchased last August.

Back in early February, Mister Big Time inquired of the world at large about who the buyer of this particular house on Nashville's Westview Avenue might be. Your Mama has chosen to answer Mister Big's call and dig up the information now because little Miss Clarkson's name is back on the tip of every one's tongue again as she'll be singing her little heart out for the pope while the Catholic emissary of Christ tours the Eastern Seaboard like a wild and caged animal in that freaky looking modified Mercedes of his.

Anyhoo, as it turns out, at least according to Your Mama's well connected man on the ground in Nashville, it was Miss Clarkson who forked over $1,490,000 to purchase a modest and not very exciting 5 bedroom and 5 bathroom stone home in the Belle Meade neighborhood. Now children, Your Mama confesses that we know little about the real estate landscape in Nashville, be we do understand from people who would know that Belle Meade is considered one of the finer residential locales Music City.

Since the photos show the interior day-core choices of the non-celebrity seller and not that of young and unlucky in love Miss Clarkson, Your Mama will not be discussing the uninspired furniture, the questionable paint choices, the upsetting silver Grecian drapery in the living room or the vertigo inducing area rug in the family room.

We will however mention that wee room with the wood paneling and red chairs that looks like a card room at a somewhat upscale Elk's Lodge in Florida. We love it...and we are not going to apologize for loving it either. Remove the kooky ottoman, replace the pictures with something a little bit abstract and colorful, donate the floor lamp to the local thrift shop and hang a simple and small but modern pendant over the table and voila! you have an instant and cozy corner worthy of working a 5,000 piece puzzle or settling into for blisteringly competitive and gin fueled Friday night cribbage tournaments.

We're also rather fond of the stone floored screened porch which features a fireplace for taking the edge of those spring and fall evenings. Your Mama can imagine tucking up into the space on a buggy afternoon with a stack of gossip glossies and a pair of scissors to cut out all the fun stuff to use in our hobby of making celebrity filled collage vignettes.

Your Mama really hopes that Miss Clarkson knows a nice gay decorator down in Nashville who can help her work this large but ordinary house into something worthy of a young musician struggling for some longevity in a career that hit the ground like a racehorse but has lately been a bit less than white hot. If we're being honest, and we always are, we're not big fans of Miss Clarkson's music, but we do have an unexpected soft spot for her in our cold and dark heart so Your Mama sincerely wishes her continued success and have our fingers crossed that we do not see her star frizzle out and die a slow painful death. Shall we pray on that kids or should we just let the pope take care of that?

We're not certain where else Miss Clarkson owns property, but somewhere in the recesses of our blurry mind we recall that the gurl lives in a big house on a 50 acre ranch south of Fort Worth. Anyone?


Anonymous said...

Alessandra said...

I like the exterior of this home quite a bit. As for the interior decor, one hopes that Nashville has a talented gay decorator or two, who is capable of replacing those nasty curtain swags with something less hideous and who can paint the walls something other than peach and cerulean. Also, I hate the wallpaper, and while I know it is more of a southern style choice, it must go.

The enclosed porch with the fireplace is superb. Keeps one out in the fresh air but away from nasty, bitey flying insects that are so common everywhere except southern CA.

pch said...

I totally dig the enclosed porch. But not feeling the outsize dormers -- one of my pet peeves -- on an otherwise pleasant main facade. Also a little dizzy from the cavalcade of rooflines on the rear facade (if it can be called a facade).

Anonymous said...

Invasion of privacy, much?

Anonymous said...

Invasion of privacy, much?

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry I don't like it,it looks like a place to slowly go mad in.

Anonymous said...

It looks like it belongs in Nashville.

Anonymous said...

I live in Nashville, and while I don't know much about this property. It is interesting that there is a shift in where the Celebs are choosing to reside...When I first moved here...People said Belle Meade is "old money" and the "stars" live in Franklin or Hendersonville...But in the last few years, the famous seam to be going against the norm and buying here...A few years ago Leann Rimes, Keith Urban and Nicole, Michelle Branch, Faith Hill, and Tim McGraw have all bought in the Belle Meade well as Al Gore And Former Sen. Bill Frist, But they I guess are some of the old money...Anyway welcome to the neighborhood Kelly.

Anonymous said...

"...and voila! you have an instant and cozy corner worthy of working a 5,000 piece puzzle or settling in for blisteringly competitive and gin fueled Friday night cribbage tournaments..."

Thank you, Mama.

Anonymous said...

I'll take a pass on this place. That kitchen...please.

luke220 said...

To me, it looks like a charming house with a bad addition.

Anonymous said...

KC is only at this house when she's working on a new album. They made a studio in the house & only bought the house because everyone from her crew lives in Nashville.
I do lovee the house & she has done Alot with it. I could let y'all in on some info about her Texas house... But I won't. I respect her privacy.