Friday, October 12, 2007

Melissa McCarthy in the Shadow of the P.D.C.

SELLER: Melissa McCarthy
LOCATION: Huntley Drive, West Hollywood, CA
PRICE: $1,515,000
SIZE: 1,284 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A private tranquil retreat in the trendy "WeHo" area. Steps to Urth Cafe, Pink Berry, Kreiss Furniture, and shops. The light open floor plan is appointed with high end textiles. Details include: hard wood floors, stainless steel appliances, designer paint, tiled bathrooms, custom built-ins, stone driveway, tropical landscape. Bonus: gorgeous backhouse, with kitchen, bathroom and loft. A perfect home with a geat vibe.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama can count the number of times we watched the sappy, saccharine, and extremely cliché television program The Gilmore Girls on one gnarled hand. We can't remember the names of the principal actors, but somehow Your Mama recalls the fat and funny best friend role of Sookie St. James, which was well played by comedic ack-tress Melissa McCarthy. Although the show made us want to puke from all the life lessons and warm fuzzies, who can forget a ladee chef with the exquisite name Sookie St. James? Say it with Your Mama children: Sookie St. James. It is our sincere belief that Sookie St. James would be an excellent name for a cat. Had we thought of it before, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter might have named our prickly pussycat Sookie St. James instead of Sugar. Say it again out loud: Sookie St. James. It's good, right?

Anyhoo, Miz McCarthy, who is apparently a cuzzin to Playboy model and Jim Carry's lady friend Jenny McCarthy, recently pushed out a baby and we expect the screaming baby might have something to do with her selling the petite and vaguely Spanish style West Hollywood cottage she purchased in September of 2005 for $1,234,000.

Of course most Angelenos would not even consider doing it, but what's nice about this West Hollywood location is that you can easily and quickly walk over to celeb heavy Robertson Boulevard where paparazzi courting celebutards like Britney Spears, Rumor Willis, and the pre-rehab Lindsay Lohan go to have their pictures taken on their way in and out of The Ivy and Kitson.

What Your Mama does not think is so nice about this particular location is that the Pacific Design Center, which backs up to Miz McCarthy's property, looms over the property in a menacing sort of way. Certainly there could be worse neighbors than a mammoth complex of blue and green glass buildings filled with sassy, mincing and nice gay decorators buying obscenely expensive furniture and knick-knacks for their wealthy clients. But we're not sure we'd want to be sitting in our tiny backyard having to listen to the aesthetes shriek "fabulous!" and "that's di-voon" and "oh my gawd that is a-may-zing" day in and day out.

At just 1,284 square feet, the house is on the small side, even for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, who prefer a modestly sized abode. Let's look beyond all the beige furniture, which we hate, and concentrate on the renovated kitchen and bathrooms. We are thankful not to see another kitchen with cherry cabinetry with all sorts of ridiculous raised panels, carved corbels and black granite. It's thrilling to see a simply, but luxuriously designed kitchen that not only looks good, but also looks like a proper and well appointed machine for cooking. Although it's not necessary in our design book, we think that a gorgeous red-ish Persian carpet in here would really throw the room over the top in a good way. Your Mama is a wee bit concerned that there is no access to the outside from the kitchen, but it could be that the egress is just not seen in the photograph.

The bathrooms also appear to be recently renovated, and while they're not going to win any high design awards, they look like reasonably comfortable places in which to do the durty bizness. We can only hope the smaller bathroom with the gorgeous wood floors has a window.

The main house, with just two bedrooms and two bathrooms might be a tad small for most people. There is a large guest house that includes a bathroom and a kitchen, which is an excellent and highly desirable feature for Your Mama. We love a guest house so that when our people come to visit there is a comfortable and well appointed place to stash them that keeps them out of our cranky hair early in the morning and out of ear shot late in the evening.

Additional drawbacks for Your Mama are that there is no room for a swimming pool in the back yard. Maybe, just maybe, a plunge pool could be wedged in back there, but that would mean our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly would leave almost no place to run their little legs. Another drawback is that the immediate neighborhood is a mix of modest houses and small apartment complexes, which can sometimes mean it's difficult to find street parking. Other pluses include that the property is hedged gated for extra privacy and security, and it appears there is off street parking for at least three automobiles.

All in all Miz McCarthy's place looks like a good set up. But if Your Mama is being honest, and we always are, we think we could find something a little better located for the same amount of money.

Your Mama wishes Miz McCarthy health and happiness for her new baby and we look forward to the house warming at your new house, wherever that may be.


Anonymous said...

Something I really disagree with you on, Mama, I'm a fan of this show and it's creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino. Thanks for posting this! It's actually smaller than my house--unbelievable. But I love the decorating. I hope she goes on to another show, she was always so funny on GG. Of course the writing, ahem, was fantastic!

Anonymous said...

The PDC parking garage is closest to Huntley. The most one will hear is b*tch fights over the last space. Which unfortunately goes beyond business hours since the PDC garage is used for public parking at night. Imagine drunk queens stumbling back to their BMWs and Mercedes after a night of dancing and cavorting on the boulevard. The real downside to the location is the traffic on the streets around it. I like the house and agree it isn't baby friendly. If Melissa asked my opinion, which she hasn't, I would rent it out instead of sell. Oh, and Mama, WeHo queens don't let the dogs go to the yard for exercise..One puts the G&T in a go cup and walk the long bodied bitches around the neighborhood while admiring the other...dogs..yeah..that's it.. the other dogs being walked.


Anonymous said...

It does, how you say... reek of "small"

Anonymous said...

Jenny McCarthy is not Jennie Garth. It's funnier and more confusing this way, though. It's been quite a run of C-listers lately (not complaining)...

Anonymous said...

Who named the cat after me?

Anonymous said...

when are you going to write about julia roberts new malibu compound?


Anonymous said...

speaking of dancing with the starzzzzzzz..

what about sabrina's palazzo east apartment accross from the grove?

*hoards of youngsters getting in their cars now...*


so_chic_darling said...

Gilmore Girls,Sookie St James,who are theese people & cats?I don't know and I don't care,but the way Mama writes about it all makes me laugh alot!

Anonymous said...

so chic.

you make me laugh.

in a good way.

Anonymous said...

You know, in spite of the drawbacks, I think this is a really nice little house for a young, single, up and coming celebrity. Someone who would be satisfied with adding a large hot tub instead of a pool and who would appreciate being able to stroll over to her favorite hot spots without having to deal with traffic and parking. I think there's a lot to like in this property.

Anonymous said...

James St James wrote the book disco bloodbath about club kid killer Michael Alig!

Anonymous said...

another BIG drawback is the preschool on Huntley Drive. It's a small spanish house that is painted a hideous bright red. It is noisy and parking and traffic get pretty bad during school hours.

. said...

Mama, very funny. Your humor lifts me up in a "life lesson, warm fuzzy" way. Way off topic: I have a theory from long experience about the color of cats and their personalities. Shorthair black females-very smart, shorthair black males-very sweet and dumb, torties- very adorable and bitchy, orange to pale buff- most sociable. Orange males- best all round feline companion. Others might disagree. Oh, and this house for some reason gives me the creeps.

Anonymous said...

Quaint but livable. Too bad about the PDC being so close.