Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ginger Fish Swimming Out of Atwater Village

Sorry for the delay over the last few days chickens...Your Mama's big ol' backside unexpectedly landed in an internet free land and it was, we regret to inform, simply too difficult to get to an internet cafe. These things sometimes happen.


SELLER: Kenneth Wilson a.k.a. Ginger Fish
LOCATION: Sunnynook Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,096,000
SIZE: 1,974 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Charming 1929 Two Story Spanish Estate Home. Countless upgrades have been done to this home including, refinishing the wood floors, new high efficiency air conditioner, new water heater, new basement laundry room with front loaded top of the line Kenmore Washer and Dryer, New Kenmore Elite refrigerator, new gas fireplace, new tile in kitchen, and tile downstairs in bathroom with jacuzzi claw foot tub, new custom master bathroom Steam Room/Shower Combo, new tile balcony.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While combing through listings in some of the less pricey zip codes around Los Angeles, Your Mama recently came upon one described as a "Charming 1929 Two Story Spanish Estate Home." With that description, we jumped in feet first where we found that listing photos show a slew of framed up CDs leaning up on the mantel and hung on the wall over a grotesque, ca-ca colored leather sofa in the living room. Even though we recoiled in horror over the college student day-core, we got still got that special tingly feeling in our spleen that tells us we're looking at a celebrity owned property. So we did what we always do, we started sifting through the property records. It didn't take more than a minute or two to discover the casa is owned by a man named Kenneth Wilson who is otherwise known as Ginger Fish. It took a few more minutes to figure out that Ginger Fish is the oft injured drummer for the macabre, theatrical and controversy courting rock star Marilyn Manson. A few more taps on our trusty lap top computer revealed that Mister Wilson, er Mister Fish, listed his Atwater Village property in late August of 2009 with a somewhat wonky asking price of $1,096,000.

According to Wikipedia–which isn't always the most reliable source of information–Mister Fish's stage name is derived from a combination of the names of dancer Ginger Rogers and Albert Fish, "an American serial killer, cannibal and pedophile," Is any further personal information about this man necessary to get a firm handle on his inner essence and sense of humor? No, it's really not, is it?

Property records show Mister Fish purchased the Sunnynook Drive domicile in October of 2004 for an undisclosed amount of money. The 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom house is located in a modest section of Los Angeles called Atwater Village, a neighborhood with a Silver Lake zip code that borders Glendale, Elysian Valley, Glassell Park, Los Feliz, and the sprawling Griffith Park. Being the hub in a geographic wheel certainly makes Atwater Village accessible to and from many parts of the Tinseltown but, as far as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter are concerned, it's far to hot and smoggy for our delicate constitutions in that particular neck of the Lala Land woods.

From the looks of things, Mister Fish's property is gated with a small motor court leading to a front door tucked up into the corner next to the garage. What little of the front facade we can see in the listing photographs looks satisfactory and appropriately Spanish. However, despite a mite of architectural integrity on the exteriors, once you get in the front door all decorative hell breaks loose.

Although listing information indicates that "countless upgrades" have been made to the property including newly refinished floors, a new air conditioning unit, newly installed tile in the kitchen and downstairs bathroom, a new fridge and a new front loading washer and dryer set up in a new laundry room located in the basement, the house is such a decorative hot mess that we don't even know where to begin. Do we start with that ornate, carved, commode-like vanity thing in the bathroom? Or do we begin with the utterly awful satin quilt bed linens? Or maybe we should go with the taupe and burgundy patterned curtains that Your Mama could only describe as "Appalachia Chic," the sort of drapery Dolly Parton might have aspired to before she actually got rich and figured out that rich people do not have curtains made of fabric that looks like it was ripped off a sofa bed from Levitz? Or will we be forced to embark on our journey through Mister Fish's interior trappings with all that crap sitting on top of the cabinets and refrigerator in the kitchen? What about the trio of water bottles in the bedroom that someone could not be bothered to remove before putting a million dollar asking price on the house? Or the fuzzy white stuffed animal sitting on the mantel in the bedroom? Ugh, it all makes Your Mama want to run bamboo shoots into our eyeballs. When we were just a wee thing our brassy and high-larious Auntie Jennie used to tell Your Mama, "If you don't have something nice to say, come sit next to me." But let's be honest butter beans, sometimes picking apart bad day-core is like shooting a dead cat...it's too easy and there's really no benefit to doing so. Dead is dead.

However and despite our Auntie Jennie's exhortation, Your Mama always tries to find some good to discuss even if we're looking at a pile of decorative doo-doo so with some trepidation will say that with a few twists and tweaks–including removing the coffee table tsotchke and Mister Fish's portrait of himself hanging over the fireplace–it really wouldn't take much to work the living room over into something cozy and appropriate for the drummer of one of the world's most illustrious rock stars.

Out back, Mister Fish's house has a small balcony over looking the back yard which has a brick terrace and a some sort of stone floored shelter where he has set up a bunch of manly looking work out contraptions that scare the bizness out of Your Mama. We know that many people like to bend and stretch and lift and contort themselves into physical perfection, but larhrd have mercy, Your Mama would know better how to remove a gall bladder with a whisk and a spoon than to use all that forbidding and torturous gymnasium equipment.

Naturally, since Your Mama doesn't know a hole in the ground from a tractor trailer, we haven't an iota where Mister Fish and all his shiny linens, exercise apparati and water bottles will be moving next. However, if we may offer a little unsolicited advice to Mister Fish: Hunny, if you want to sell that house in Atwater Village for a million bucks, Your Mama suggests letting us send our imperious but hard working house gurl Svetlana over to spend a few days cleaning that place up so at least it looks as good as it can in listing photographs because the current ones, alas, ain't doing you any financial favors. Do you know what we're saying?

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

HORRID!

Anonymous said...

I'm speechless...my eyes are burning...oh, please make it stop!

Anonymous said...

Honestly Mama, is there a notice of default on this house? Usually when you see a listing like this, it's either a foreclosure, pre-foreclosure or short-sale. He probably doesn't want the house sold so he can save it from foreclosure, if that's what happening. Just a thought, not fact!

A serious seller would not allow their home to photographed like this for marketing. Seriously, what a dump. Decorative abortion.

Anonymous said...

What moron took the pictures?? Seriously bad!
The bedroom looks like a sick room

Anonymous said...

WOW! Did he decorate with whatever furnishings his parents wanted to throw away? Still have goosebumps... This looks so dingy, dark, and tired.

Anonymous said...

HID E OUS.

Anonymous said...

Seriously.....really.....over a million clams for THAT place? Really?

Oh- and I am definitely going to use your Aunt's line "If you don't have anything nice to say, sit next to me" LOVE IT!

Madam Pince said...

I wouldn't pay a thousand dollars for this mess, much less a million.

Anonymous said...

Interior decor looks very similar to an old boyfriends parents house in South Central Los Angeles.

Only thing missing is the government issue cheese on the kitchen counter.

The Preppy Pauper said...

Good Lord, if the place was rented out, it would explain the sorry state of affairs this house is in. For a million dollar listing, clean up, stage the place, THEN take the listing photos. I think I puked a little in my mouth looking at the photos. Please Mama, for your next entry, a home with the arrow pointing more towards fabulous, in the mean time I'm going to look for something in the medicine cabinet to settle my nerves.

Anonymous said...

Unsure exactly who Mr. Fish is? uglymales.com helpfully provides this bio and a VERY unflattering pic:

http://www.uglymales.com/wc/music/ginger-fish/

(note the ugliness rating: 5 out of 5)

Anonymous said...

"a home with the arrow pointing more towards fabulous" AGREED!!! Please, Mama!!!

StPaulSnowman said...

Wow.......I just love it! It brings to mind previous posts discussing the enormous ability of brown and beige to camouflage all sorts of pesky stains.

Anonymous said...

Mama, glad to have you back. Who care's if it good or bad. I was ready to hitch up the wagon and start checking under rocks. Madame pince, is that a Michael Brown painting in your comment section? He is phenomenal.

Deschanel said...

To quote Coach Sue Sylvester from "Glee"- "All it needs is a dozen limed corpses rotting beneath the floorboards".

NewYorkQueer said...

Dear Deschanel 'nuf said girlenne!

Seems to me the fabulous upgrades were done about 35 years ago from the looks of it and nothing has been dusted or cleaned since. Personally I do not blame whoever the poor photographer was for NOT TOUCHING A SINGLE THING in that filthy house. First call Merry Maids or possibally one of those crime scene cleaning crews to do their worst before ordering in Goodwill or the trash men to remove the, well everything. Mama I know how you sensibly loathe and dispise pot racks and bathtubs and I feel the same way about a bed placed against the corner of a room with a big empty space right behind where a sensible persons head is wanting to sleep. How can anyone rest with a big empty hole right behind the damn headboard, fortuantely I have a nerve pill close at hand...
BTW Glad you are back Mama. Try not to stray to far from civilization again, it makes the children nervous.

Lilithcat said...

I find it deeply ironic that this dark, dreary interior is located on a street called "Sunnynook". Talk about your false advertising!

Anonymous said...

Ahhh! It's so horrible!

Anonymous said...

How could you leave out the dog on the sofa picture?

Redfin says he paid $630,000 in 2004

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Los-Angeles/3048-Sunnynook-Dr-90039/home/7064788

Anonymous said...

For all of you needing a nerve pill - in an effort to reduce my intake of daily "prescription drugs," I have started taking a "natural supplement" called Kava Kava for my "anxiety." I highly recommend it when the doc says "no more Ativan for you!"

dolly said...

I agree with 8:46 AM - he must have some reason for not wanting to sell it. Nothing else could possibly explain the three water bottles by the bed. It's like those photos of Debbie Gibson's house that were on here a few months back where an empty can of 7 Up had been left by the terlit. Also, I must say that the terms "top of the line" and "Kenmore" are mutually exclusive.

Anonymous said...

I live in Los Feliz and actually go into Atwater quite often: Wells Fargo, Post Office, the incredible burritos at Villa Corona, etc. However, I can't believe anyone would pay over a million dollars to live in Atwater! For that amount of money you can get a house in Silverlake with a nice view and within the well regarded Ivanhoe school area.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mama - it's not his "sense of humor"... all his band members took a first name from a star from Hollywood's glamour era and then a last name of a serial killer or similar monster. Kind of like all the guys in the Ramones took the last name "Ramone". Only that was pretty cool.

These pix are even creepier than when I saw Rob Zombie's house on MTV Cribs. That house seemed to have a sense of humor to it and this is the kind of place you'd want to just slit your wrists in. It makes me shudder to look at them.

Hugs from all the way in Colorado, Sunny

Anonymous said...

The backyard looks as if it has appeared in 'Cops'

Babe Parish said...

k, i don't wanna get too judge-y or anything since i did read The Seat of The Soul and all that...but
that house looks like it has scabies.

Anonymous said...

One million for this, glad I don't and never will live in california

Anonymous said...

It's easy to tear something apart from the comfort of your internet anonymity. You're all a bunch of losers and haters. Go back to your awful mundane lives and search for real meaning.

Rajib Hossain said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sordar joy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.