Thursday, September 10, 2009

John Krasinski Selling West Hollywood Starter House

SELLER: John Krasinski
LOCATION: Cynthia Street, West Hollywood, CA
PRICE: $1,245,000
SIZE: 1,279 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Pristine Country English home situated behind lush privacy hedges, pedestrian gate, and gated driveway. French doors, hardwood floors, updated kitchen/bathrooms and high ceilings. Detached guest studio with gorgeous remodeled bathroom. Flat grassy yard, verdant period landscaping, spacious outdoor patio off of sun filled den complete this charming offering.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in early July of 2009, Your Mama discussed a perfectly private property above the famed and forever fab Chateau Marmont on the Sunset Strip that actor John Krasinski (The Office, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men) scooped up for $1,897,000. Today, thanks to the efforts of our ever-generous canary Junebug, we're going to take a spin through Mister Krasinski's previous home located in the very central, Norma Triangle neighborhood of West Hollywood, CA and listed with an asking price of $1,245,000.

Property records show the well educated, highly likable, and recently engaged Mister Krasinski purchased his ivy-covered crib on Cynthia Street in March of 2006 when he forked over $1,050,000 for the modestly sized 1,279 square foot "Country English" style house. The front of the property is shielded from the prying eyes of paps and neighbors–not to mention the chunky 3-story apartment building directly across the street–by a thick and almost absurdly high hedge and a fully opaque, motorized drive gate that opens to a long, narrow driveway. At the end of the driveway, where there was once a tight two-car garage, there is now a fully detached guest studio and private pooper. While Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would find it a punishment not to have a garage in which to park our small fleet of BMWs, for a detached guest cottage where we could install our bossy house gurl Svetlana and her pussies Burt and Ernie, we might consider it a reasonable sacrifice.

A puny porch with a barrel vaulted ceiling leads to the front door which opens directly into the living room. The reasonably sized room is bathed in dusty buttercup colored paint and boasts a high ceiling, shiny, honey colored wood floors, a wood burning fireplace, and a ceiling fan for stirring up the air on stifling summer afternoons. Since the house is no longer occupied by Mister Krasinski and his much in demand actress fiancee Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada, Sunshine Cleaning), we're going to assume the furniture shown in listing photos was either hauled in by a home stager with a seriously stringent budget or, more likely, left over items Mister Kransinski did not care to move to his new, improved, and much more contemporary crib on Marmont Drive. The wood floors and dusty buttercup colored paint in the living room extend into the dining room where large windows on two walls promote a cross-breeze, a paltry trio of light fixtures hangs above a chunky Parsons table, and a built in boo-fay is painted with some of the glossiest and most dee-lishus lacquer-like black paint Your Mama has ever had the pleasure of eyeballing.

Based on information provided to Your Mama by the always helpful Babbling Babette, we can say with great authority that the well equipped but utterly banal kitchen appears today just as it did the day Mister Krasinski purchased the house three and some years ago. Listen chickens, Your Mama realizes not every kitchen will be to our liking and all things considered this is hardly among the worst we've seen in celebrity homes. But have mercy, who puts the same oatmeal colored tile on the counter tops as was installed on the floor? We've never seen this before and hope never to again. Anyhoo, an adjacent family room, with even more of that damned dusty buttercup yellow paint, has been fitted with recessed lighting, a wall-mounted flat screen tee-vee and French doors that open to a small but lovely deck overlooking the very wee back yard.

According to property records and listing information, the house contains three bedrooms and 2 updated poopers including a master bedroom with even more of the dreaded dusty buttercup colored walls, and a small but adequately sized bathroom with beige (marble? limestone? travertine?) tile work from floor to ceiling. Like the kitchen, other than being bo-ring and beige to the point of oppression, there's really not much to beef about.

Your Mama wishes Krasinski all the luck in the world unloading his starter house at a good price. However, considering that a slightly larger, 3 bedroom and 2 pooper property with similar finishes in the same Norma Triangle neighborhood closed in late July at $975,000, he might be facing a somewhat uphill battle. But then again, what do we know? Nuthin', that's what.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damned dusty buttercup - LOL! That's exactly what I thought, the house is so matchy-matchy, it made my head spin, and not in a good way. Hope, this is new paint job, and Mr. Krasinski did not have to live like that.

NewYorkQueer said...

Glad to hear that Mama says this is a bit over priced as I would love to move right in. This little playhouse would suit me right down to my socks after following mama's expert advice of a few finish changes. A little more color, actual light fixtures and I have never seen floor tile used on a counter EVER anywhere either. But lets be realistic Mama it was owned by a staight man and he could have done far worse. He did no structural damage and its doubtfull he is even responsible for the paint color. A lovely small house just perfect for this serventless American.

Madam Pince said...

I second everything NYQ said.

I mean no disrespect, Mama, but I must speak in defense of yellow interiors. Both my homes have had buttercup yellow paint jobs. My first abode didn't have a lot of natural light; my current does, which is why I'll soon be changing to a less lively color.

cassandra said...

Hm, what terrible house. He needs to move back home to Mass where I can stalk him in REAL life. His family has a summer place down the street from my sister's summer place. John, come home to me.