Thursday, September 10, 2009

Madoff Madness

By now every damn person in the world knows that while Machiavellian financial charlatan Bernie Madoff is serving 150 years in prison–karma is a bitch, ain't it Bernie–and his stand by her man wifey Ruth is hiding out somewhere clipping coupons, the feds are fixing to sell all of their assets in an effort to compensate the victims of his malevolent chicanery.

Listen chickens, Your Mama simply does not have the stomach or time to dissect each of Bernie and Ruthie's real estate and decorative choices in each of the four homes. So, in an effort to keep up with the Joneses and in the interest of time and sanity, we're simply going to link the children to articles, photos and video of each of Bernie and Ruthie's properties and let the children slash and slay their day-core as y'all see fit. If anyone care's about our two-cents, suffice to say that, in general, we find Bernie and Ruthie's taste in furniture and art rather pedestrian for people who had unfettered access to hundreds of millions of dollars of other people's money.

Last week the Madoff's ocean front summer house in Montauk, NY came up for sale with an asking price of $8,750,000. According to listing agent Joan Hegner of the Corcoran Group, who must have sensitive eyes because she wears her sunglasses indoors, there are already four offers in on the dated, dumpy but supremely located 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom house and, based on interest, many more offers are expected. See photos of the house here and here and a video tour by U.S. Marshall Roland Ubaldo here.

Earlier today the disgraced couple's banyan tree shaded getaway on North Lake Way in Palm Beach, FL was listed–with Corcoran Group's Burt Minkoff–for $8,490,000. The 8,753 square foot mansion fronts the Intracoastal Waterway and has 5 bedrooms and 7 poopers. See photos of the house here and a video tour of the house with U.S. Marshall Barry Golden here.

The listing for the Madoff's 4,000 square foot doo-plex penthouse at 133 East 64th Street was won by Sotheby's International Realty's Anne Corey and Serena Boardman who not only holds a listing for an apartment at the high-nosed 740 Park Avenue but happens to be one of the most successful real estate brokers in all the land. The listing for the penthouse, which was as expected tagged with asking price of $9,900,000, includes a floorplan which reveals an easily lived in layout with well separated spaces, sizable but by no means grand public rooms, four fireplaces, poopers with windows (execpt for that one in the library/bedroom downstairs), and a wrap terrace that would make most New Yorkers just a little jealous if they'd cop to it. See a large cache of dee-lishus photos of the penthouse's interiors and wrap around terraces here and a video tour here.

Or y'all can go here where there are more than thirty photos of Bernie and Ruthie's homes as well as several of their boat which they rather cynically christened Bull.

What will become of Bernie and Ruthie's somewhat modest condo in the gated Chateau des Pins community in the swanky South of France remains to be seen, but Your Mama presumes that too will be listed and sold.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

They liked clay tile floors, didn't they?

Of all of them, I think I like the penthouse the best. The Montauk house is boring. I like the exterior of the Palm Beach house, but the interior didn't really do anything for me. At least the penthouse has some comfort to it.

Hope they all sell so that people can get back at least some of their money.

Anonymous said...

The penthouse could be spectacular. But the way they have it decorated it almost feels dingy. Also, I feel obligated to mention that the master closet looks like the shelving you would see in the basement of a public library. And the "marble" bathroom. Is that actually marble? Whoever chose it showed restraint by not putting in on the ceiling too...

You're right, Mama, very pedestrian for someone who had access to billions of dollars of stolen money. Very disappoing...

luke220 said...

Fascinating pictures of the homes. To their credit, they lived rather modestly considering their means. These look like homes of old monied WASPs!

Katie said...

After looking at the virtual tours, I found myself wondering if the (relatively) modest style was deliberate, so as to thwart suspicion that they were helping themselves to clients' money.

Anonymous said...

Considering their means. . . Maybe on some psychological level, knowing their real means prevented them from obtaining the level of living that "their" money would certainly have allowed them. After all, Bernie, if not his dear wife, knew inside himself that he didn't have the real and honest ability to make the money needed to live in the relative splendor they were living in.
Or then again, maybe living like that was just another cynical strategy for flying under the radar, not calling to much attention to themselves.

NewYorkQueer said...

Every last member of that extended family is a liar and a crook, or possibly has the IQ of a kumquat. Having said that it seems the rich have little in the way of style, taste, interest in art, design, or in hiring genius to give them any or all of the above. If I had stolen even a billion dollars and this was all I had to show for it I would be humiliated to death. But then we see here thanks to Mams's particular brand of delicious genius, that rarely do the rich create, they just purchase and often the most bland.

Jimmy said...

Hubris' flip size is nemesis. And so we see a contemporary version of Die Gotterdammerung -- but without the fire and great music.

Anonymous said...

This is not the way "old monied WASPs" live. An understated, unpretentious lifestyle is not incongruous with good taste.

Lilithcat said...

Modest lifestyle? Multiple yachts, and multiple huge homes? I wish I could afford to live so "modestly".