Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Now You Can Buy Kate Hudson's Sloppy Seconds

SELLER: Not A Famous Person
RENTER: Kate Hudson
LOCATION: King Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $4,950,000
SIZE: 4,136 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: 1830's, 22' wide 4 Story Townhouse on a 25' lot, with 4 Bedrooms, 3.5 Bathrooms, 3 exposures, a large Chef's kitchen, a wooden deck overlooking a lovely 50' Garden, Central AC, Cherry wood floors & 4 Woodburning fireplaces. This beautiful home is located in Soho's Charlton-King-Vandam Landmarked Historic District.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Okay hunnies, Your Mama has been sitting on this one for quite some time. Why? We don't know. But it's a slow week for us in the celebrity real estate world so we thought we'd take the opportunity to clear a few things of our desk, this being one of them.

In addition to her parents Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell's homes in Aspen and Malee-boo, Oscar nominated Tinseltown nepotist Kate Hudson (200 Cigarettes, Dr. T and the Women, How to Lose a Goy in 10 Days, You, Me and Dupree, Bride Wars and etc.) divides her time between her own house in the posh Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles and a rented New York City townhouse. Considering her jet setting, boho-glammy actress on the rise lifestyle it makes perfect sense to Your Mama that Miss Hudson would maintain a (semi-) permanent crib in New York City which also happens to be where her ex-huzband and baby daddy Chris Robinson–he of the Black Crowes–lives.

Since splitting from the shaggy Mister Robinson in 2006, Miss Hudson has been very bizzy getting bizzy with a long list of high profile gentlemen including Justin Timberlake, musician Nic Cester, Owen Wilson, Heath Ledger, Dax Shepard, Lance Armstrong, Aussie golfer Adam Scott, and her current squeeze, professional baseballer and former man-friend of Madonna, Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez. By our count, that's eight dudes in less than 3 years. Damn gurl. Our friend Fiona Trambeau hasn't even had that many men through her bedroom in the last three years and you can fairly call her a floozy. Listen child, let Your Mama give you a little free and unsolicited advice: You are free to date and do the dirty with whomever and however many men you want, but in your post-A-rod days–and there will be post-A-Rod days–we suggest you choose less conspicuous men so at least you might have a snowball's chance in hell of not having your bedroom bidness spread across the interwebs.

Anyhoo, as usual, we digress. We are here to discuss the real estate and not the man habits of a rich and very famous young woman so let's get started. Property records shows the four floor townhouse on New York City's King Street is owned by someone other than Miss Kate Hudson and who is not a celebrity. This would indicate that the romantic comedy queen–you better watch your back Jennifer Aniston–leases the property, probably at a monthly rate so high we'd need a nerve pill just to think about it. It's unclear to Your Mama how long Miss Hudson has occupied the two unit building and it's also not in our scope of knowledge whether she rents both the basement 1-bedroom apartment and the three floor apartment upstairs or just the
three bedroom and 2.5 pooper triplex. It's also unclear to Your Mama if Miss Hudson still occupies the townhouse but the listing does say it will be delivered vacant at the close of a sale, meaning if she hasn't already moved, she'll have to get packing as soon as the building goes into escrow.

Whatever the case, Your Mama knows this particular block of King Street quite well being very near the building in which we toiled on and off for a number of years in a chi-chi boo-teek advertising agency. It also happens to be two blocks from the rooftop where we stood on 9-11 and watched both of the World Trade Towers collapse. But that's another sad story for another day. This lovely and leafy block of King Street sits just around the corner from the fantastic Film Forum, just a block or two south of the exuberantly gentrified West Village, and a few blocks west of the tourist trap shopping district that used to be SoHo. Alright people, SoHo is not all that bad...if you get off yer hiney off Broadway. But hunnies, you do not want to be stuck on this stretch of Broadway below Houston Street on a Saturday afternoon with all those women in velour track suits with the word "juicy" embarrassingly emblazoned across their butts. Larhd have mercy children, these people who flock to SoHo nowadays to shop at mass market retailers like Gap and Pottery Barn perplex us to no end. Who goes all the way to New York City to buy the same damn crapola they can buy at their local mall? Hunny, pleeze.

But there go a-digressing again. Information we dug up on the marvelous real estate listing amalgamator Streeteasy reveals the property owner put the townhouse on the market in November of 2008 with a price tag of $6,250,000. A couple of months later the asking price was lowered to $5,625,000 and then again to $4,950,000 in March of 2009 before it was de-listed in April, re-listed in May, de-listed again in June and, finally, re-listed in July of 2009. The asking price currently stands at $4,950,000, which is a lot of damn money for a house without a single bathroom larger than Your Mama's modestly sized walk-in closet. The townhouse was built in the 1830s and according to some reports was once the home to John Jacob Astor.

According to the floorplan, the main level consists of a living room with a wood burning fireplace and a lot of beige day-core courtesy of Miss Hudson and a dining room with an adjacent guest pooper which is not, for obvious reasons,
an ideal location but considering the narrow squeeze of a townhouse, it's acceptable in this case. Beyond the dining room through a set of double pocket doors, is the nicely sized and well windowed eat in kitchen with wood floors, white cabinetry, a built in boo-fay behind the kitchen table, French doors that open to a dining terrace and a white, mac-daddy Viking range which has Your Mama salivating with envy. We're surprised by the Home Despot ceiling fan especially considering all the options for much nicer and less offensive ceiling fans nowadays.

Overlooking the back garden on the second floor is a good sized bedroom that appears to be young Ryder's room, a windowless sitting room and a street-side family room with a second wood burning fireplace, a smattering of low slung, Moroccan hookah lounge appropriate furniture and a large shag rug that would toss our tyrannical house gurl Svetlana into a temper tantrum and looks to Your Mama like it was made from Persian kitty pelts. A teeny-tiny, window-free pooper completes the second level.

The top floor, includes two bedrooms, one of which has three closets and a pooper barely large enough in which to turn around let alone swing a damn cat. The second bedroom on the third floor stretches the entire width of the townhouse and has a third wood burning fireplace flanked by built in book shelves. It does not, according to the floorplan, have a closet which means, technically, legally, it can not be a bedroom. But listen people, getting all up in arms about "bedrooms" without closets in New York City is an exhausting and futile fight because they are, quite simply, as common as the cockroaches that wheezle their way into every apartment, restaurant and shop in New York City.

The lowest floor, located a half flight below street level, is correctly called and English basement and in addition to an open plan living room/kitchen, bedroom and bathroom, there is a room where the buildings mechanicals are located, a room we can only hope for the tenant is sound proofed.

Where Miss Hudson will take all her beige, slip covered sofas next isn't information in our purview, but from the sound of things, she just may be be scooting her perfectly tussled hair and expensive neo-hippie shifts right on uptown to live in sin at A-Rod's apartment in the over-hyped Robert A.M. Stern designed building at 15 Central Park West where the pro slugger is reported to be paying in the neighborhood of $30,000 per month to rent a 35th floor 2 bedroom and 2.5 pooper condo.


Anonymous said...

It would be delish, Mama, if you could soon put together a post of people who have sold BELOW what they paid for their digs. It would satisfy the schadenfreud in all of us, and be a fascinating look into our times to boot.

StPaulSnowman said...

My favorite photos are the top right and bottom left views of the windowless pooper with the light switch turned off. One can almost smell the pinesol residue wafting up from the floor below.

Anonymous said...

Let's talk nice, gay decorators in NYC - who would you recommend for this place? Discuss.

Anonymous said...

The "window treatment" in the living room - I just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

"How to lose a goy"?? Introduce him to your Jewish mother!

dolly said...

It's OK I guess but something about the windows makes it look like a halfway house on a bad block of downtown Detroit. Ryder's room is especially bleak and depressing. I think the kitchen is my favorite room.

Anonymous said...

An Astor lived here? Are you kidding me?

Madam Pince said...

I'm not a fan of Miss Hudson or her decorating.

Anonymous said...

30K a month rental for 2 bedroom condo, what a waste of f*** money. most dudes have been thru hudsons bedroom, arod imparticular

Anonymous said...

It might have been built in the 1830's but the exterior looks to have been stripped in the 1950's...it's so bland.

Anonymous said...

the facade of this house is quite atrocious save for the front door detail. why would they take out the original windows and put that shit in?

jerzeyguy said...

anyone know if Kurt and Goldie still have their place in Pacific Palisades or their place in Vancouver. I think I read they sold their apt. in NYC, and I believe they sold the place in Pac Pal also.

Anonymous said...

the interior structure is good, but jesus! if thats hudson furniture shes got terrible taste in decor, its so boring in there, get rid of it or your have hard time selling its so sterile.

NewYorkQueer said...

Being temporarialy marooned in Toledo, Ohio, I can say that I would be de-lighted to be offered that basement apartment sound proofing or none, otherwise it is an ordianry house with a less that attractive facade. I do love that boat bed and wish I had slept in one like that myself as a lad, ahhhh me what dreams of sailors and sailing ships.... I'm guessing even a well paid and well laid moviestar doesnt spend much time moey or thought on a rented crash pad.