Friday, February 27, 2009

Let's Talk About John Mayer For a Moment...

...but only for a moment children, because for some reason that we can not explain, John Mayer makes Your Mama feel a little icky inside.

Anyhoo, there have been some recent rumors and reports that Grammy winning musician John Mayer spent $10,000,000 on a new house in Woodland Hills, CA. Anyone who knows Woodland Hills knows there just aren't $10,000,000 houses in Woodland Hills, so the reports seemed a bit fishy to Your Mama. As we often do when puzzled and perplexed, we checked with Lucy Spillerguts and Our Fairy Godmother in the San Fernando Valley and with their assistance and input have come up with a somewhat different story about Mister Mayer's real estate whereabouts.

According to our savvy sources, Mister Mayer–who already owns a house in Pacific Palisades and an apartment on Lafayette Street in New York City–did not purchase a new house in Woodland Hills, or any any other place for that matter. It is our understanding that Mister Mayer is spending big bucks to lease a big house behind the guarded gates of the high priced horsey community of Hidden Hills, CA. According to records on file with the county of Los Angeles, Mister Mayer's temporary digs measure more than 11,000 square feet of pure, unadulterated faux-Mediterranean mcmansion.

Although we do wish Mister Mayer a happy home in Hidden Hills, Your Mama can't help but think his on again/off again ladee-pal Jennifer Aniston must be all kinds of put off and pissed about this development. After spending bazillions on renovations to her sprawling (and we hear) spectacular new house on N. Hillcrest Road in Beverly Hills, we just can't conjure the image of the romantic comedy queen schlepping out to the suburban wilds of Hidden Hills in her Range Rover so that she can hang out with Mister Mayer in a the sort of high end Home Despot lavishness Saddam Hussein would have wanted had he lived in Hidden Hills. But then again, maybe Ms. Aniston is so smitten with Mister Mayer that she'd go all the way to the porn mecca of Chatsworth for a little bowm-chicka-bow-bow.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

possibly leasing the house to record new album.

stpaulsnowman said...

MAMA.........ISN'T IT JOHN MAYER?

Anonymous said...

euh, yeah, it's spelled Mayer. mama's spelling of it this way must be intentional, deliberate and a joke (like using the spelling 'ack-tress'). no other explanation. although, if it is a joke, it's a strange one.

Your Mama said...

no babies, just a mistake. it's all fixed now.

Anonymous said...

Come on, Hidden Hills isn't so bad! Why would Jennifer Aniston hate it? 3 gates to come in and out of to keep the paparazzi off her tail. No one bothers celebrities here. They can walk and exercise in peace and quiet without cars following them around. There is nothing wrong with sleepy, and it's only 30 minutes to Nobu in Malibu!

Anonymous said...

30 minutes?? Might as well be driving to Chino.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer Aniston NEEDS to get married ASAP.

Her middle name is "Desperate", and it soon will be "Old Maid".

Nothing scarier than a rich, crazy, 40 something women trying to control her imagine, by hunting down a spouse.

Honey, you should have had kids with Brad, before the Tomb Raider chick got her hooks in him. But you wanted to wait! Wait for what?

Live and learn I say.

angeleyes said...

4:04, I believe Mama's point is that John is apparently settling into a home which creates a commute for either him or Jennifer to get to each other, nothing against Hidden Hills per se.

Mama, I think I know the feeling you're talking about. One of the queasy inducing characteristics that bothers me about him is the strange contortions his lips make into the microphone when singing his songs. It makes me uncomfortable to watch him perform. And overall, I don't quite get what women see in him, but that's just me.

Anonymous said...

Is Hollywood completely immune to the deepening depression in the country? Are these things still living with millions and millions in their bank accounts to spend on excessive housing? Is Hollywood completely depression resistant? I fear so.

Anonymous said...

Woodland Hills is Podunk. Ewww, it's too far.

Anything not on the westside (specifically BH, Holmby Hills, Bel Air) is a DUMP.

Anonymous said...

Whoever said is Hollywood immune?

Why should you just save your $ if you have it to spend? And you live in your house.

sean said...

Yo Mama, What about Mayer's SoHo apartment? No one has written up on that pad yet..is it leased or does he own it?????

BTW John Mayer is recording his album at the home @ Hidden Hills..he's using it as his live-in studio. You can check out inside the home as he posts photos on:
http://tryjm.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Interesting slams on the neighborhoods. This attitude seems a little out of touch. I think we're all learning it's most important to live within our means vs. worrying that other people are going to call our neighborhood a dump. Best post Mama ever did was on Neil Patrick Harris, he's living very comfortably and modestly, and really doesn't appear to care what anyone else thinks about it......

Anonymous said...

^

True ... but Jennifer Aniston is living within her means, even though her house cost a fortune it's still fairly modest compared to the usual LA McMansions ... seriously, if only i could have Anistons annual residuals for friends & u know that show is going to run & run & run forever more ...

Mama, as if she schleps to him ... He goes to her!

Anonymous said...

It seems the tabloids have been predicting a pregnancy for Jennifer Aniston pre Y2K. Maybe she doesn't want kids, or can't have them. Let me predict, another "Fresh start for Jen!" or "It's Baby Time!" tabloid headline is on the way. Or now that she's past 40, we can look forward to "Jen's Adoption Plans Enrage Brad!" Who the hell cares?

Anonymous said...

Isn't Hidden Hills where the alledged murderer, Robert Blake, lives?

Ivy Lane said...

Blech..who cares!!??!!

Anonymous said...

3:05 - Agree that the neighborhood slamming is tiresome. Everyone has different needs, values, & lifestyles. A lot of celebrities choose areas that aren't overrun by "star tours" just so they are able to live a semblance of a normal life.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mama, While on the subject of Mayer-Aniston. I saw a listing in the LAT yesterday being touted as one of Aniston's former homes. A contemporary somewhere in the hills.

Anonymous said...

Woodside (Near Atherton) - some of the highest cost per sq ft in the country; even in this tight time...

Anonymous said...

3:03 - You are getting pretty fucking boring coming in here calling Mama a bitch everytime you are unhappy with her posts. Why don't you get a fucking life and start your own blog? While you are at it, come back and post the link so Mama can go to your blog and call you a fucking bitch and see how you like it.

Lucy said...

Ahem. And what's wrong with 40?

wikiplugs said...

Dear Blogger,

I posted a comment at your blog regarding addition of your rich content at my site wikiplugs.com and in return of providing you a free widget capable of displaying your post at random in your pages.I think you would be interested in Something which crawls more posts/stories than normal RSS limit ? (Unlike other widgets)

check some examples at,

website: www.13above.com (See the Vertical Banner Here on the right panel…)
and blog: emailbookmarking.blogspot.com (... and also Horizontal Banner Here on the top)

Just have a look and then visit http://www.wikiplugs.com/labs/index.html to grab your free copy today. (Limited Offer)

Your posts and our commitment can do wonders!

So what are you waiting for?Do join and enrich us with your great thoughts.

Thanks,
Admin
Wikiplugs

Vreeland'sGhost said...

i need a damn nerve pill!

Anonymous said...

Okay now!!
We've talked about a one Mr. Mayer for a moment, and what a moment it was. However, can't we move on and get another post yet?

Miss Aligned said...

Oh Mama
How could I live without you to voice those strange feelings that sometimes surface, i.e "icky feeling" about Mr. John Mayer.

mhanna43 said...

This place is nasty. Just found out about the site. Love it. Stop by www.liquidmarket.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

Mayer and Aniston were NEVER a couple....the whole thing was created by CAA, their mutual agency and it was so Jen could appear with someone during Marley and Me. That is why it started as soon as Marley started and ended after Marley finished. It was the same contract with Vaughn. It is a sad empty game for money. They never slept together and appeared as a couple ONLY for photographers..... WAIT AND SEE. She had plans all along.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.