Monday, February 9, 2009

Some Mish Mash for Monday Afternoon

Your Mama would like to put forth a few non-stories this afteroon for all the children who might care.

1.
Now that apparently well endowed soccer stud David Beckham has gone on record saying he wants to high tail it out of Tinseltown to play ball with some team in Milan, Your Mama is already steeling our brittle nerves in preparation for the family's real estate crazy train to pull out of the station.

The children will recall that after looking at every damn house in the Platinum Triangle with a list price over $15,000,000 and wearing out more than one high-fallutin' real estate agent, Sexy and The Spice Gurl finally settled for a newly constructed 13,149 square foot Italian villa style pile on San Ysidro Road in Hills of Beverly.

In April of 2007, the couple reportedly paid $18,200,000 for the six bedroom and 9 bathroom spread and it remains to be seen if they'll be able to break even should they chose to flip the property once they've vacated the post premises or if they'll have to take big hit on their fat bank accounts. We're sure some of the children have lots to say about that.

2.
Did the children see that after she moved to a condo in Westwood, CA that Lauren Conrad gurl from The Hills put her West Hollywood house up for lease at $11,000 per month? Pleeze. Let's not even go there.

3.
Back in January, American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino was widely reported to be thisclose to losing one of her two Charlotte, NC homes to foreclosure. However, she seems to have been saved from that particular fracas and fray just in the nick of time. Although the news may be as old as the hills to the children addicted to celebrity gossip sites, Your Mama only recently read the rumor that it was American Idol mean man Simon Cowell who bailed out Miss Barrino's cash strapped real estate ass.

Well looky there. Maybe Mister Loves His Perky Nipples isn't really an ass but just plays one on the tee-vee.

If true–and we don't know whether it is or is not–Your Mama imagines all those American Idol has-beens like big ol' Reuban Studdard and that poor alcoholic Nikki McKibbon whose plans for fame and fortune haven't gone exactly the way they'd hoped are ringing Simon's cell phone off the hook asking for a few bucks to keep their kids in diapers.

We tease. Sort of.

4.
Every one's favorite Sandy Olivia Newton-John recently sold her house in Malibu and decamped to Jupiter, FL so that she could shack up with her herb pushing huzband John Easterling. Proper records reveal that Mister Easterling has owned a home in Jupiter since 1999 and a quick search on the interweb shows he recently listed the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house for $850,000. Presumably the newlyweds would like bigger and better digs more appropriate for a woman of Miz Newton-John's iconic stature and wealth.

According to the New York Post, Mister and Missus Easterling recently went to contract to purchase a 4,500 square foot residence in Tequesta, FL that was listed for sale at around $2,250,000 but bailed out before the closing. The sellers are suing (natch) and screaming breach of contract (natch) and the Easterling's legal eagle says his clients backed out because the seller was unable to close due to their inability to convince their mortgage holder to accept a short sale...which all the children surely know by now means selling the house for less than is owed on the mortgage.

The Aussie icon is much in the news lately not only for her somewhat unexpected wedding to Mister Easterling and recent real estate transactions. That's because Patrick McDermott, her previous man-mate of 9 years, went mysteriously missing on a fishing trip four years ago and after an extensive search was presumed dead but is now believed by an intrepid investigator to be alive and living on a boat off the coast of Mexico. This never ending saga has all the hallmarks of a made for the boob-toob movie and Your Mama would just fall over and die of glee if Miz Newton-John would agree to play herself in that sordid little biopic. Don't laugh children, you know someone is writing that script and taking meetings at AMMO right this very second.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

If the Beckhams move back to Europe they can afford to make a loss on the property ... They bought when Sterling was really high against the dollar, back in the days of £1=$2 ...

So $18M cost £9M approx ... The past 8 months the pound has fallen against the dollar so if they sell for say $15M [$3M loss] then they'll pocket around £10M so all in all they made a profit even with a loss on their property ...

The story about Simon Cowell I wouldn't be surprised ... Despite his reputation he is actually extremely philanthropic ... He donates millions annually to good causes - one charity [a sick children's hospice] is basically kept going thanks to his annual donations which he tries to keep under the radar ...

StPaulSnowman said...

I have been fascinated by the whole Beckham escapade from the very beginning. A handsome athlete whose sport is little appreciated in this country comes with the sour, anorexic wife and trophy children to a phenomenal contract and media fanfare. The machine generates two years of hype and excitement with very little personality or talent to work with. Beyond the nude advertising photos and fame by association with the Cruise clan, I can think of nothing they have contributed by being here. It is amazing how form trumps substance in the world of celebrity. I am with Mama...........at least their departure may generate some real estate porn fodder.

Anonymous said...

Mama,

I noticed today that 40 Beverly Park, which has been reduced all the way down to $31.5m from its original $49m asking price disappeared from the market.

Any word on if it sold and to who?

Anonymous said...

Everyone keeps saying Jake lives on Woodrow Wilson, but I have yet to locate where, does anyone know?

Viva! said...

The Beckhams fleeing LA does not surprise me in the least. When they first arrived the BBC interviewed Jackie Collins (one of the more notable England to LA ex-pats) and her forecast was that they'd only attract middling interest and leave in a year or two. Jackie Collins was right on the money. The Beckhams just didn't 'click' with America, they know that their fame in Europe is without peer aside from the Royals...they'll either lease out the house or sell it and as the first poster pointed out, they'll make money, even with a loss because of the change in currency.

A Westwood condo for Lauren Conrad...interesting. I wonder if her house simply attracted too many people and wasn't private enough. No surprise there. It was a terrible house to begin with. Very un-celebrity friendly.

Olivia Newton John's Tequesta house fiasco will probably work out for her and her new husband, the deal sounds like it fell apart due to the sellers. Her would be house is in Palm Beach County, right by Jupiter Island...I bet it was nice...she'll find another that's suitable. It seems that she's 'Hopelessly Devoted...' to Florida...

Anonymous said...

I think David Beckham leaving is understandable. He's THE soccer superstar, a modern day version of what Wayne Gretzky was to hockey, and his coming to this country to play hasn't managed to catapult soccer to the status of top sport it enjoys around the rest of the world. For better or worse, American's continue to want their beer and football.

Anonymous said...

Um this is a real estate blog... not a religious blog... so, while you have every right to write what you'd please, I think you may have just wasted a significant portion of your day writing about something that no one is going to read.

Anonymous said...

WTF are you talking about Anon 6:57....

Go away and don't come back here again.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:58

40 Beverly Park just expired, the listing is active again today.

Anonymous said...

Mama, when you extirpate a post you should leave a dropping so the kids know what other comments relate to......you can't simply be the hand of God.

Hippie Canyon said...

Well, actually Mama is the hand of God. Or more accurately, the wooden spoon weilding hand of God. And I've got the bloodied pores to prove it. Not that I don't love her... I'm just saying. She IS the hand of God.

Hippie Canyon said...

*OUCH* Okay, okay... wIelding (I know, "I before E except after C")

Suzy Zabiche said...

David Beckham might be hung like an i-talian sausage, but Mama, yer link is just salacious.

IMHO it is so sad that he has spoit his bod with all those tattoos.

If he were ever to be on top of me, and I that I sincerely doubt, I would want his UB40 number.

English Dole Scum.

With a big sausage.

Ah well, there is no justice.

Anonymous said...

I think 6:57 just stops by every day to drop a load on someone. Today it was Mama's turn. It sucks to be miserable inside, and it shows..

Anonymous said...

6:57 was responding to a very long religious armageddon post which was removed from the comments and not dropping a load on anyone.

Anonymous said...

Suzy Zabiche - Mama was being kind to the children. The photos of Mr. Beckham's sausage are out there on the net and suffice to say he is blessed in that area.

Doesn't explain why his wife looks the way she does, one would think she'd be smiling all day. I know I would.

Anonymous said...

what kind of prudes some of you are about beckham's penile gift. that photo that is linked to is a advertisement for armani...it might be sexy, but it isn't exactly salacious.

Anonymous said...

Only one person called it "salacious", what thread are you reading?

Anonymous said...

3:47, many thanks for enlightening me, and my apologies to 6:57. When a comment is removed, the remaining associated comments are confusing to comprehend. There is a visitor or two who regularly insults and belittles the others who comment here as if having an opposing opinion about real estate or esthetic taste is a crime.

avg joe :[) said...

Having an opposing opinion to me IS a crime!!!!

Dont forget it ! ! ! !

MH Critic said...

I agree with St. Paul Snowman that Posh is "sour and anorexic." She needs to smile and show her teeth. When she has that dour look on her face all the time it makes her unlikeable. They flaunt their money way too much. And she overdresses in Los Angeles. It's ridiculous. He is a hunk though. But I heard him talk and his voice is too high.

Anonymous said...

That's why she doesn't like LA.

Everyone here is too tacky and dressed down so she would prefer London, Paris, NY, Milan, etc

Kelly Phillips said...

Everyone keeps saying Jake lives on Woodrow Wilson, but I have yet to locate where, does anyone know?