Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Your Mama is Going on Vacation...

Listen children, we hate to leave y'all in a state of celebrity real estate panic and withdrawl, but we have been working our fingers to the nubbins and wearing out the wheels of our Rolodex and during the last few weeks our poor gin soaked mind has melted into simpering puddle of mush.

So last night Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter booked ourselves some last minute and first class airline tickets to a warm and sunny destination where we plan on doing little besides play tennis, eat big salads at our favorite outdoor eatery and lay around in the nood sunning our naughty bits on our rented terrace.

We may drop in for a visit and float an item or two while away, but Your Mama does not plan on hanging around here and discussing anything celebrity related until the middle of next week. So get yourself a nice big bottle of Bombay Sapphire to ease the pain, keep your lips zipped and do not even think about giving Your Mama any grief or sass about our being a-way.

Your Mama has well earned a weeks damn vacation, and ev-er-ee one of you children know it.

Before we go, we do recommend you peruse this inneresting article in the pink papered New York Observer about the 9 most difficult co-op boards in New York City. Fascinating stuff.

Discuss.

photo: PlanetWare.com

180 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAVE FUN IN MIAMI!!!

StPaulSnowman said...

have a great time but lay off the gin until you deal Sharapova the double bagel!

bentley said...

Give er, Mama! Good for the soul, I say.

Alessandra said...

More gin! More gin! Some one has to drink my share, and I designate you, Mama.

Have fun. Relax. We'll snark about co-op boards in your absence.

fairfield girl said...

remember she has a wooden spoon y'all.....

bentley said...

Oh please, please. I would rather have my fingernails pulled out and my leg urinated on by the dog walker.

A campus-like feel? Half the buildings are empty all the time, the over the shoulder "howdoyoudos" are nauseating, and changing a doorknob heightens the situation to Defcon 5 and makes the crystal perspire.

Pardon my French, but fuck would I love to see 50 Cent pimp roll through the lobby of 960 5th and pinch Anne Bass' bum.

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker, first time poster. Your site is AMAZING Mama. You keep it fresh, hilarious and always up to date. Consider this kid grateful for all the work you put into the site! :)

Sarah said...

Another long time lurker, first time poster. I love coming to check on what you are saying, all the way from Australia!

Have a fantastic, well earned holiday.

Anonymous said...

Bonnes vacances et merci pour le site

Alessandra said...

Bentley, you bring up an interesting point about tensions reaching DefCon5 if a doorknob is changed. As I do not live in NYC, my impression was that if there was an advantage to a co-op, it was that since all entering residents were so heavily vetted, there were would be less contention among the neighbors. Apparently, my impression was naive and overly optimistic.

These particular co-ops seems to be so insular that one might be horrified if one were actually accepted as a buyer.

Ruby Jackson said...

Don't forget your sunscreen, Mama! Have fun!

bentley said...

Alessandra, I've lived in two "white glove" co-ops in New York (growing up), and while you'd think your point would ring true, once the sandbox hierarchy is established, things can go south rapidly. I say sandbox because that's how petty and vicious it can become.

If you're feeling particularly sanguine, read 740 Park and also google "Pale Male and Lola 927 5th ave" for a macro insight into Upper East Side absurdity.

Simply, it harks back to the vapid, insular and truly pointless social register bullshit.

I can't speak for every co-op in the city, but I say go West side or go townhouse. UWS co-op boards are far more evolved.

aunt mary said...

Oh Mama! The Observer article is a hoot! It's as if you left us boxes of chocolate frosted sugar bombs cereal to eat for our lunces while you're gone. The chilren will deconstuct it one paragraph at a time and have such a good time. Impenetrability and vicissitudes, indeed. I suppose if one belonged to a club that no one else wanted to join you could call it impenetrable or you could just call it irrelevent.

aunt mary said...

Oh dear, I meant "lunches". I can no longer proof read. Too much sugar.

bentley said...

I like you Aunt Mary.

Anonymous said...

To the D**weed who was challenging my comments on how hard it is getting in obtaining a million dollar loan, even with perfect credit, first off did you get to cash your check, second here is the article from another blog of what I was talking about.

Last week a Realtor in San Diego wrote, "Just after I made a large payment of $10K (only $350 payment was due), they took away all of my credit line. This is putting me in a panic and possible bad situation. I have been with WaMu for many years and have had many home loans with them, and never missed a payment, and have always had bank accounts with them, in addition, my credit is great. I had no notice or warning whatsoever, of course if I had, I would not have given them $10,000 that I did not need to."

More: "I am a Realtor, and times are tough, and it helped knowing that I had that cushion, making it a little easier to justify spending money on marketing and advertising in an effort to keep business coming in and thus enabling me to meet my payment obligations."

This is a significant trend in the economy right now: it is hard for lots of people to borrow money. Cal mentions this often in the comment section. The Fed can cut interest rates 'til the cows come home, it doesn't matter, it's still hard to borrow.

See I told you so......

sandpiper said...

Mama, this vacation is long overdue. Enjoy every minute of your well deserved decompression. :)

aunt mary said...

Bentley, the red hawks story is a perfect metaphor for the silliness that passes as "right values". By defensible logic, the hawks should evict the puffed up people (homo ostenstatious) from their cliff roost. Or at least, consent to their staying on condition of remaining quiet and unobtrusive. No squawking, honking, strutting or flaunting garish plummage.

Alessandra said...

Don't worry about misspellings, Aunt Mary. I'm incapable of getting subject and verb agreement, apparently.

Speaking of being hopped up on nummy frosted chocolate sugar bombs, I just read that Carl's Jr. serves Cap'n Crunch shakes. Having not eaten at a Carl's Jr. except once when it was procured for me, and I was too hungry to protest or really care, I was unaware that such a divine sounding sweet existed.

I wonder how the co-op board at One Sutton Place South would appreciate my application if I wandered in, sipping a large shake and leaving a scent of curly fries in my wake? Would they approve me on the spot? One can but hope...

so_chic_darling said...

Mama have a wonderful time in the sun.
As for New York co-op boards I'm quite proud that my shady past would not get me in the front door!

fairfield girl said...

Lets re visit some real estate porn from Mama

http://realestalker.blogspot.com/search?q=kelley+ripa

bentley said...

Oh my, let's not for a moment imagine there are no shady doings along 5th and Park and everywhere in between. My God, if those walls could talk. Platitudes abound: she's drunk, he's gay, the kids are drug addled, or worse, stupid and ugly... Oh, it's Peyton Place, and let's not forget it. It just looks and presents itself sooo prettily.

I'm all hopped up over this. I'm so jaded. Perhaps I should re-locate the clan west. Y'all seem nice, the architecture and topography is beautiful, and I could really get into the car scene in Los Angeles.

I clearly need some more R&R.

Anonymous said...

anon 8:00 (aka Avg Joe)

Who the hell is "Cal"?

What is that from? You just say "a realtor from San Diego wrote". Ok. And that makes it factual? It's just more of your bullsh*t.

a) If the realtor liked "knowing that I had that cushion", why would he make a 10k payment on when a $350 payment was due?

b) IF this happened, it is likely that the bank reviewed the realtor's credit report and determined he was no longer a good risk. Maybe he was never late with WaMu but that doesn't matter anymore. You f/u with anyone and the rest are going to notice and take measures to reduce their risk of being the next victim.

My loan is closing on Monday. All according to schedule. Thanks for your concern.

You haven't told me anything yet that meant anything.

PS. The fact that you chose today when Mama left for a week was not lost on me. Congratulations, you obviously passed "Troll 101" with flying colors.

Aunt Mary said...

Bentley, have a bowl of chocolate frosted sugar bombs. Then read some Emily Dickinson. There, there, that's a good boy. Mama will be back soon to set the world right again. At my age I find these people sad. And to think they are not exposed to"vicissitudes". If they only knew. And they think Tiger Woods would be beating their door down to get in! Sad.

lil' gay boy said...

Have some great sun in the fun Mama, but don't forget to protect those naughty bits . . .

. . . not only is a sunburn there unattractive and painful, but when it starts to peel . . . Oy!

Getting my act together after the death of my dearest friend; this will give me some time to go over what I've missed (besides all you nice folks - thanks for the lovely emails; they really meant a lot to me.)

Alessandra said...

It's better, even on the West Coast, to have children who are drug-addled rather than stupid and ugly.

I jest only a small bit.

Ah, well, exposure to "vicissitudes" could kill some of those co-op board members. I'm not certain that it is healthy to live in such rarefied environs. Much like eating some dirt is good for building up a kid's immune system, the ability to cope with change makes for a stronger human being.

Anonymous said...

Have a great vacation!!! Lots of love from Canada :)

pch said...

These latter day Ward McAllisters -- rank hypocrites all -- never fail to astonish me with their capacity for vicious snobbery that revels in cuts and snubs. Even though I usually pass muster, I do my best to avoid these people. Why anyone would want to live with them is beyond me.

Bentley, I was up in Santa Barbara this week. Brilliant blue skies, mid-to-high 60s, ocean breezes. Just a bit warmer in the hills of Beverly today. In case you needed any additional westward-ho temptation...

Sincere condolences, LGB. Can't even imagine a loss of that magnitude. You've been missed.

aunt mary said...

lgb, so sorry.

Anonymous said...

anon 11 30

Dickhead

that blog was from the LA Times, pretty legit don't you think ?

btw the realtor was FORCED to make a 10k payment, the bank called part of the loan in early........

in other words, if you were to get a 1MM loan, they call in 500k guess what ?

You have to pay the 500k or they foreclose...... end of story.....

another friend of mine tried to get a loan this week, platinum perfect credit, fico is close to 800 1MM equity on the property he owns paid for in cash from 10 years ago, all he wanted to do is get 300k for a emergency...........

guess what ?

they said no
he went to 20 other banks, they all said, no money........... pretty scary don't you think.... he thinks they are all about to go belly up, he is ready to do a firesale on his home.

if you get your loan, you got it just in time and good for you.

btw watch out for wamu, they are going out of business next


and no I am not avg joe, he is an idiot !!!!

Anonymous said...

btw I picked the time now because the article just came out today........

pch said...

My only interest in the dire Washington Mutual prediction is that I have an account there. And MarketWatch reported on Tuesday that Moody's lifted WaMu's outlook from negative to stable "after the company said it secured agreements to raise $7 billion in capital. 'The change in the rating outlook reflects Moody's view that the capital raise of $7 billion provides sufficient cushion for the company to maintain capital ratios which are greater than 100 basis points above the regulatory well capitalized minimums,' Moody's said in a statement."

Whatever the case, I've got a suggestion for those with sensational mortgage-related anecdotes: Links bolster your credibility, and enable the rest of us to see the pull-quotes (or paraphrased thoughts) in context.

Alessandra said...

I concur with pch about providing links for credibility. And am wishing I could have spent the weekend in Santa Barbara, which is as close to Heaven as we get in already almost-perfect SoCal...

As for people with HELOCs or people who are trying to get HELOCs, good luck. While credit has loosened up enough that first loans on properties are easier to get than they were in August through December of 2007, lenders are not willing to extend the party for home-owners who were under the impression that their equity was equivalent to an ATM. It's an over-correction, much like what happened in Q3-4 last year was, but with recessionary fears looming, my guess is that lenders don't want to expose themselves to additional risk in the marketplace. While I feel sorry for those who are getting caught up in the crisis, perhaps this is a timely reminder that our homes are not meant to be leveraged to the hilt.

Anonymous said...

"that blog was from the LA Times, pretty legit don't you think ?"

Would have been pretty easy for you to post the link if that were true, don't you think?

"btw the realtor was FORCED to make a 10k payment, the bank called part of the loan in early"

Changing your story again. You wrote in the first post -

"Just after I made a large payment of $10K (only $350 payment was due), they took away all of my credit line."

If the loan was called, the line was closed when they demanded the payment. Why not post the link so we can all read it ourselves and clear up this little confusion.

"another friend of mine tried to get a loan this week, platinum perfect credit, fico is close to 800 1MM equity on the property he owns paid for in cash from 10 years ago, all he wanted to do is get 300k for a emergency"

What is the current loan to value ratio on the property. Just because he paid cash 10 years ago doesn't mean squat. You say he has 1mm equity, if it is a 10mm property, that's only 10%.

If he owns a property valued at 1mm free and clear, has a FICO of close to 800, and a means to make the payments on the loan, he would have a loan.

Sure some banks are tight right now but turned down by 20? Your buddy has financial problems he isn't telling you about. Or it is just another of your "average" made up stories.

"and no I am not avg joe, he is an idiot !!!!

I agree avg joe is an idiot. Have a nice evening, idiot.

Anonymous said...

Just to clarify, when I wrote "if it is a 10mm property, that's only 10%. ", I meant as in he has 9mm in loans against the property already.

Anonymous said...

For the thinking children, here is the link anon 8:00/avg joe didn't share -

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/laland/2008/04/in-a-bind-wamu.html

The story only posts the exact text anon800 posted here. Nothing to indicate that the LA Times interviewed the realtor or verified anything. It just says "Last week a Realtor in San Diego wrote". Doesn't even clarify if that came from a comment written in the author's blog (so it could be as bogus as..well...you know).

Also says nothing about the additional details "anon800" is now coming up with.

The comments posted on that blog are fun reading while Mama is away. Not as highbrow as the poetry others are reading to pass the time.

Oh, and anon800, I'm buying a house. That is a FIRST, not a HELOC. So you are not only an idiot but you sir - are the dickhead.

bentley said...

PCH, you're killing me, my man.

Once a year there is an escape to the El Encanto in Santa Barbara, at the end of which two very morose people head back east with heads hanging low.

Where should I live...?

Welcome back, LGB.

Anonymous said...

Morning all! Just dropping in while Mama is on vacation to see if anyone has had their first bitchslap contest yet. Glad to see I haven't missed it :)

Seriously though, LGB sorry to hear of the death of your friend. It's rather strange, at least to me, when a good friend dies. Why? Because I keep thinking, at least during the first six to eight months or so, "Gawd this is funny...I have to call and tell him this". And then do a mental forehead slap when I realize I can't unless I'm in a Twilight Zone episode. But memories keep people alive long after they've left us. Peace to you LGB.

I do have kind of an odd question for everyone. I know this a celebrity real estate website, and that they're routinely big and elaborate houses, but does anyone know of a celebrity-type who lives in a modestly sized home? A house that is not blown up like a souffle all set to explode inside the oven. Any ideas?

Appreciate the help. Enjoy your day!

Peace
Joel

Anonymous said...

^

Well Joel,

Lets start ... Warren Buffett, the Mars family & the Waltons - Richest families in the US yet their homes are unbelievably modest which I find utterly refreshing ...

Alessandra said...

Ed Begley Jr.

luke220 said...

For many years Sumner Redstone lived in a very modest home in Newton MA. His ex wife is still living there.

His daughter has a modest home in Westwood MA.

Guess Sumner sold out once he moved to Beverly Park.

StPaulSnowman said...

Verne Troyer, perhaps

pch said...

Hey Joel -- I was going to say the majority of famous people I know live in modestly-sized houses, but then it occurred to me that we might have different definitions of "modest." For me, that would top out in the mid 3,000s.

Their "smaller" houses might also be worth millions of dollars -- does a value-to-income ratio or understated design also figure into your modesty assessment? In other words, if a billionaire bought a $6 million, 3,500-square-foot house in the Bird Streets, does that count as modest from your perspective? While for an ordinary millionaire TV actor it might seem pretentious? Or I wonder about David Geffen's low-key house at Carbon Beach, which seems modest amid all those revival palaces? Maybe it's all relative...or maybe not.

And I'm probably over-thinking this. I'm sure you just mean someone who lives in a fairly ordinary house on a street like San Ysidro or Kenter...

luke220 said...

Phyllis Redstone's house is a 2,200 sq ft raised ranch on a half acre, built in 1958. Her (ex) husband was always referred to as the richest man in the state when he lived there.

bentley said...

Hey Joel,

I'm curious as to why you ask. Is it just for personal satisfaction knowing that some celebrities live in "normal" homes, or is there more to it? Tell me to piss off if I'm being nosy, but I'm intrigued.

I know some famous folks in New York whose apartments are very modest, albeit in great buildings, but most also have homes in LA as well as vacation homes, so that negates the modesty of their primary dwelling, in my opinion.

Does living on San Ysidro or Kenter mean no gates, no property, etc...?

I think fame ushers in a sense of paranoia among celebs, and the lengths to which they go to maintain some sense of normalcy and privacy determines where they buy homes.

pch said...

Hey Bentley. Streets like Kenter (Brentwood), San Ysidro (BHPO) and Roscomare (Bel-Air) were mostly developed in the decades after WWII with fairly ordinary ranch-style and modern houses. Smallish lots or larger lots with smallish building pads. Very middle class, relatively unfashionable -- but well-located and good values. If driveways are gated, it looks like overkill. Save the canyon topography, the streets could be Anywhere, USA.

luke220 said...

There is a tendency among some to stay in their first house and purchase more elaborate second and third homes as success increases. I've seen it many times.

Anonymous said...

here are the links of where I get my info from they have links from there you can go to.

http://housingpanic.blogspot.com

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/laland/


btw my friends 1MM place has no loans outstanding against it, the problem is that the banks are worried that his place will lose 50% or more value in the next few years.

here is the real problem to sum it all up.

mortgage companies qualified the good and liar loans for the banks, banks made the loans, sold them off to wall street, wall street sold them to investors but now wall street cannot collect the payments, wall street is borrowing tens of billions a week to stay afloat, the banks need wall street to get more money in their coffins for the loans they sold, but the money is not there.

wall street and the banks are now existing on air, this is the worst case scenario that has happened, if bear stearns was not bought out that day, wall street would have crashed to the ground as confidence would have been lost.

That was the day that would have broken wall street apart, but our govt is doing everything it can to keep it going. I applaud them for that, they are reinventing sacred rules, passing new bills so that wall street and the banks can stay afloat until the crisis passes.

and yes the RE market can drop by 80% but if you do not have the money to buy what is the difference on how far it goes down.

if you are keeping your $$$$$$ in the bank for the day that RE tanks and you cannot get it out what can you do ?

many of my friends are now keeping very little in the banks, under 100k and the rest in their safes for such a day.

and on that day cash will be king.

caveman said...

i would venture a guess that most celebrities live in modest homes, (modest being relative, see pch)
drew carey comes to mind.

http://virtualglobetrotting.com/date/2007-08-07/

cool website, search by state, celebrity, landmark, etc

Polly said...

I don't give a flying fuck about don't panic housing.com or average Joe in the day room of the mental hospital typing away.Just eat shit and die,or take your hundred grand in cash and buy some good hookers or something.Please just spend it and save the economy you pricks.
I want to know about the sordid world of celebrity real estate,not about lower middle class people losing the homes they way overpaid for in the first place thanks very much!

caveman said...

check out brian williams old ct house
http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/38342/view/?service=1

gotta love the trees

StPaulSnowman said...

yup, it is clear Mama is away......the glitter is gone. This place now reads like business week.

average joe said...

Polly are you a former realtor who is out of a job, well

don't be mad at the messenger

good luck to you.

Bigdaddyj said...

Let's see, so many random topics to address...(LOL)...My winter home outside Savannah, Ga is substantially larger, more elaborate and almost twice as expensive as my main residence outside Philadelphia, PA...this is primarily because I much more frequently have overnite/long-term guests visiting and staying with me in Savannah than I do in Philadelphia...in my experience, the richest people I know are usually the most low-key and modest, because they have nothing to prove to anyone else...as for the credit markets and state of the economy, I find the whole situation right now to be very scary, one doesn't know whether to just think it's all hype or run for the hills waiting for the great economic collapse...an anecdotal tale from my realtor (I am a real estate investor by profession, if you can call it that, LOL), she says she has never seen the number of people who bought homes from her in the past 1-3 years now turning around and saying they need to sell for one reason or the other, she thinks the market is going to get worse before it gets better, and I agree...Mama, enjoy your vacation, but don't be gone for too long!...LGB, glad to see you're back, you were missed, sorry to hear about your friend...

Anonymous said...

well look at it this way, if you own a property in prime areas, BH, Bel Air, Sunset Plaza, LA, OC in general, manhattan prime areas of NY, Chicago, SF any major city with a strong city govt, police force ect you are fine.

If not, sell it now and buy in a prime area, what good is a homes worth if it is in a nieghborhood full of gangsters, pimps, homeless, crooks that have taken over the empty forclosed homes in droves which is currently happening in places like the Inland Empire, Detroit, Cleveland, San Diego, Riverside, San Bernandino and so on.

It is better to own an expensive shack in a prime city than to own 10 cheap homes in a gang infested neighborhood where home invasions and petty theft are all to common.

If you own property in prime areas, keep it, it's value will go back up.

If you own property in bad areas, or newly bad areas, well sell it if you can or write it up as a loss, it will most likely be gone burned to the ground in a year or two anyway.

For me I have always made it a point to own property in prime areas where the police and fire dept are in full force and the city govt coffers are flush with cash.

Anonymous said...

Re the NYC Co-ops, for anyone who wants a peek inside some of these historic and huge homes, check out the book, The New York Apartment Houses of Rosario Candela and James Carpenter by the ACANTHUS PRESS located in NYC. Most of the Co-ops in the article are in this book, complete with original floor plans, photos, text etc. Well worth the $ and some really great floor plan porn too.

Anonymous said...

Morning all

To PCH and Bentley

The reason I was asking about modest sized celebrity-type homes is actually simple...Mama ran an article a few weeks back about an older "decrepit" house that was sold (I believe by Chris Rock) in the flats of BH that we all agreed would probably be torn down to build some souffle kind of home...and it just got me to thinking is all...That house has character, history and charm which could be revitalized with restoration. But we all know it will be knocked down and lost.

Perhaps what I'm really bemoaning is the motivation is the loss of history and place in the rush to tear down and build bigger and bigger homes just to have a large home? I remember reading that half of the location shooting sites used in the film "Chinatown" no longer existed when "LA Confidential" was being filmed less than a quarter century later.

Modest size means different things to different people. I am quite happy living in just under 1000 sq ft (it works for me perfectly)and one of my sisters lives on a 36 ft sailboat in the Pacific Northwest with two dogs. Maybe we're just a family who likes small spaces. Who knows?

Well enough of sermonising...snorts of relief everyone?...it's too early for gin so I'm off to frolic in the icy Atlantic Ocean over in Maine. Enjoy your Saturday all.

Peace
Joel

sandpiper said...

Hi Joel,

Okay! Now I gotcha. I was with pch and Bentley on the scope questions.

Fun concept!

Alessandra said...

Joel, it was Kanye West's home in BH that might get demolished, not Chris Rock's.

I think a modest home could be up to 5500 sq. ft., if it is well-proportioned and has plenty of useful public rooms and at least four bedrooms and baths. Then again, I prefer larger homes because one must house all the books comfortably.

What will be interesting to see is with environmentally friendly design becoming more de rigueur, will there be a backlash against homes that are absurdly large (12,000+ sq. feet)? If you look at homes built throughout the past 130 years or so, the sizes tend to fluctuate wildly. The Gilded Age brought on what we would consider McMansions, for example and then there was a backlash to the more modest bungalow style and then the pendulum swung towards larger homes again in the '20's and went more modest in the 40's-60's. So, I'd expect to see a few decades of rather conservative home-building starting in about five years.

BigDaddyJ, your example mirrors my in-laws, who down-sized in Cincinnati from a rather large and difficult home with a guest house and two pools to a more modest home in the same neighborhood. Their home on the Atlantic Coast in Florida is another story, but that is also where they do the bulk of their entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Polly this ones is for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPYBEJnsb0M

LA, NY in a few years ?

all this over rice ?

glad I am in Europe on an island surrounded by the military

Anonymous said...

1.I just say haha to all those greedy pricks that purchased homes on the whim its going higher.
2. I think Americans are the root of all evil - who is the driving force behind all the fuckups in the world these days?
3. When are we going to get a writeup on 2260 Sunset Plaza?

Girl at the bar said...

Polly I recommend a pre war rent controlled apartment in a nice part of town with a well stocked bar!
I'll be riding this one out baby.

Anonymous said...

9:45, This is a celebrity real estate blog. I guess 2260 Sunset Plaza will get Mama's attention when/if a celebrity ever buys it. Until then it is just another glorified mcmansion forever on the market in search of a sucker.

Parker said...

lgb, welcome back and best wishes to you as you grieve. That sense of loss is devasating.

anon 9:45 - I take great offense to your comment that Americans are the root of all evil. Shame on you for such a rude, sweeping generalization. Not all Americans are greedy and gluttonous. There are countless brave Americans who serve everyday to ensure our freedoms - including free speech.

girl at the bar - sounds like Santa Monica.

realdoozy said...

Rock star Sting paid a breathtaking $26.5 million for a condominium at 15 Central Park West, city records show.

The lead singer for The Police closed on the apartment March 11, according to a deed posted Friday on the city Department of Finance Web site.

The newly built 43-story neoclassical building by architect Robert A.M. Stern features herringbone floors, Vermont marble countertops, six-burner Thermador ranges and heated bathroom floors. Penthouses have sold for more than $6,000 a square foot.

Sting's neighbors in the building include former Citigroup Inc. Chairman Sanford Weill, who paid more than $42 million for his apartment, and Goldman Sachs Group Inc. Chairman Lloyd Blankfein.

The deed filed for Sting's unit was under his given name, Gordon Sumner.

Bloomberg News

Anonymous said...

anon 12:17 - you left out BUTT UGLY..glorified mcmansion. wasnt someone going to blow it up?

Anonymous said...

9:45,
That LA property has been covered here already. Your miserable mouth is running ahead of your bitsy little brain. Look before you ask next time. And ask nicely. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

In all fairness, I believe Mama has only made passing references to the hideousity at 2260 Sunset Plaza and the numerous price reductions.

She probably passes out from the pitchers of G&T necessary just to sit through the virtual tour. I've seen nicer bus terminals.

Have to wonder about 9:45's fixation. Listing agent hoping for some free press?

Alessandra said...

9:45 is the seller, hoping to bamboozle someone into buying the wreck.

Girl at the bar, would you be so kind as to make me the perfect Arnold Palmer? I'm back from the beach and in need of some refreshment. Thank you!

sandpiper said...

LOL-In all fairness, a passing reference is ALL this nameless property deseves.

I'm with you guys on the turse nature of that request. 9:45: you're grounded and no tv.

anxious buyer said...

I was just on the mlspro, sunset plaza area, checking out prices

the same idiot realtors have the same homes listed that have not sold for over a year.

the sellers really need to drop them by 70% so they can start unloading them and I can get one.

the gold rush is over folks

there is no way I am going to pay 3MM for a house in the hills that was listed for 500k in 1999

the ones listed for 10MM and up were listed for 2MM on up back then as well, back in 1989 a 100MM home listed today was selling for 10MM back then.

if you wait until the RE, Bank and stock market crashes and it will because you refuse to have your clients lower their prices to a realistic level, and 50k discount is a joke !!!! we need a realistic level to go by, you will generate new business thereby creating new tax base

If you continue to wait it out, we will continue to wait after the crashes happen and we will wait at that time until the prices come down at pre 1980's prices.

don't get greedy.

btw public opinion as of now it that the realtor profession is lower than that of a used car salesman ouch !!!!

it will even get to a point of when realtors will not be needed anymore, then what will you do ?

don't listen to the NAR, they will drive you out of business and they will not pay the rent.

and yes the lawsuit in carlsbad was won by the realtor and rumor has it that NAR paid off the jury, but more lawsuits are coming up in droves, owners against realtors and the NAR cannot pay off everyone and the minute the realtors start to lose the lawsuits will increase dramatically to the point of where after the realtors have to pay out billions to the cliens and take bakd the homes, the senate will pass a bill barring lawsuits against realtors.

I really do not want to see it get to that state so I am telling you the professional realtor make a change, lets get back on track, I mean how long do you expect your loved ones to help you out financially through this difficult time.

remember a 70% haircut would be nice and it would start the economic machine up again.

I have said my peace

good day

anxious buyer said...

oh and one more thing

when I was hearing that realtors not brokers but realtors were making 5MM + a year in 2005 I thought something was off and I guess I was right, and trust me, those days are long gone.

You can all try this business model in the next 20 years but we the potential buyers have to much information to get tricked again.

Anonymous said...

anxious buyer / average joe,

I'd give some serious thought to running for president. We could do no worse.

anxious buyer said...

why do you say that ? I am just saying what it would take for me and others I know to buy a 1MM plus home in the hills of west hollywood

anxious buyer said...

btw I have been calling realtors on the phone and offering them 50*70% below the asking prices, most of them hung up on me, some screamed at me, others laughed, others begged me to raise my offer, but I won't I can afford to wait.

Anonymous said...

You are freaking nuts.

Anonymous said...

We'd have another assassination for the history books. Only this time it would be the Secret Service that him out of our collective misery.

Anonymous said...

I believe they hung up, screamed and laughed. Seriously doubt there was any begging going on. Unless you called the agent trying to unload that piece of crap at 2260 Sunset Plaza.

Barren Karen said...

Mother of God. I want to scream at and hang up on that dude too and I'm not even a real estate agent.

sandpiper said...

barren karen.
Those guys have pocket protectors, I'm sure.
They are a HUGE downers, and really need a forum that can take them seriously. When will they get a clue?

Parker said...

anxious buyer - keep waiting and dreaming. i have two friends who just paid asking price for houses in hancock park - and there were back-up offers. the market's still hopping in l.a. why don't you check out ontario or corona or whatever those places are called?

anxious buyer said...

parker

You are right but I can wait.

To everyone else, my apologies for my negative comments, I have had way to many martini's tonight, and no I am not a pocket protector type, and yes, I was in the market up to a 2 months ago when I lost millions (in paper money) on properties, so yes I am bitter and it is all hitting me like a brick tonight.

with that said

I really really do hope it all turns around and that this is just a brief scare.

I hope I pray and I hope.

sandpiper said...

Me too.

Anonymous said...

anxious buyer/average joe/a$$hole -

You are so f*ckin full of it. You contradict your own comments within hours.

We aren't stupid. The guy you see in the mirror is.

Go away.

Anonymous said...

Sandpiper, he has his own blog of like minded morons. He posted it yesterday. Why he continues to bother Mama's children is beyond me.

Alessandra said...

I've missed barren karen.

I'd say more in the defense of CA Realtors, but I'm tired and cranky. No-one needs to hear my thoughts on the subject.

I will say that homes that were selling for $500m and are now in the $3mm range are not going to go back to $500m. They may come down to $1.2mm to $1.7mm, but many of them have been renovated and remodeled and improved. They are not the same house that sold for $500m in 1997.

I am happy to see houses that are not worthy of multiple offers coming down to a more rational level, but as parker astutely mentions, there are plenty of desirable areas of LA where buyers are still in competition. The right house at the right price is still able to garner a lot of positive attention. And you know what? It should.

Anonymous said...

well moving on, I saw Joe Francis's place on virtual globetrotter

I hope mama does a blog on it, the place is amazing

it is the place that "girl gone wild" built

it is at the end of bel air place

anxious buyer said...

well the properties on sunset plaza area for the most part have been on themls for the last 6 months to a year, I think the reason for that is the prices are still to high, what do you think and how low do you think they should drop them to before I consider, I do not know about hancock park, only sunset plaza that is where I want to buy.

samdpiper said...

Hi 10:11,
No way! Thanks for the heads up. I am so very tired of his rantings. I try to be openminded, but there comes a point ...

Bigdaddyj said...

I can't believe this schmuck is STILL trying to hawk that piece of shit @ 2260 Sunset Plaza on this site YET AGAIN, despite the fact that we children have given him repeated smackdowns that we don't give a shit, we hate the house, etc....what a desperate, obsessed loser...can't you take a freakin' hint? Practically noone on this site likes that house, has any interest in, clearly Mama has no interest in it, so why don't you just give up already! Sorry for the rant, I try not to attack people on this site, but I'm so sick of that jackass already...

anxious buyer said...

hey big daddy I hope you are not calling me the jackass

I said sunset plaza area, which covers mount olympus to doheny hills and everything in between.

btw I just went on globe trotter

check out this link

http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/44173/view/?service=1

zillow said it is worth 16 MM and it is 27000 sqft, out of my range but an amazing place, makes me wish I was in the shopping industry

Anonymous said...

how is this for a home ?

http://virtualglobetrotting.com/map/42068/view/?service=1

pch said...

Blotto as hell, but I'm a happy drunk so it's all good.

I definitely agree with Alessandra and someone else (apologies for forgetting whom, only have the one crush on Alessandra) that all areas aren't being impacted in the same way. Orange County has a perfect compare/contrast with Newport Beach -- where I live most of the time -- and neighboring Santa Ana. (If anyone watched Arrested Development, this is where Buster winds up when he thinks he's in Mexico.)

In Santa Ana there was lots of creative financing for people who could barely afford the pre-adjusted, interest-only payments. Seriously. These people stopped eating out so they could write the mortgage check. Little houses that sold only last year in the 500s are now hitting the market in the 200s and 300s. Dunno if banks will go along with offers in that range, but there's a huge inventory and I don't see it getting any better. The reason being that there's no sane rationale for buying an expensive house in Santa Ana.

In Newport Beach, however, there's a desirable address, beaches, views, climate, etc. etc. So it makes sense that prices haven't taken a similar hit. Don't get me wrong, it's still down (eye-balling the MLS) in the 10-25 percent range. But you're not seeing an unmitigated freefall.

The markets in Newport and Santa Ana are apples and oranges, Mars and Venus, me and the GOP. Just like everywhere. Prices these days are -- brace yourself -- based on value. Shocking but true. And that's just as it should be.

As to assigning blame for the mess, all I have to say is that it takes a seller, a buyer, a realtor, a lender, an appraiser and any number of ancillary figures to tango. Our society made the collective decision to suspend disbelief. As will happen when there's easy money for one and all. It's human nature. We're all Spartacus, baby!

Enough philosophy -- back to the booze. As my totally awesome Bulgarian sister-in-law would say, Nazdrave!

Bigdaddyj said...

Anxious Buyer,

No, I was referring to anon 9:45 of several days ago, who I'm convinced is the same douche who brings that monstrosity up at least once a week on unrelated threads, and who I'm also convinced at this point is either the realtor or owner of that ugly pile and is constantly on this site trying to drum up attention for it...I find thi Glazer house interesting, though I would need to see more photos from up close and inside to render a "verdict" lol...as for your prognostications, you seem to be on the highly pessimistic end of things, but only time will tell...I make my living as an investor, but here on the east coast in Philadelphia, which never had the dramatic run-up in prices that places like LA & NY had, so we don't have nearly as far to fall, but I still unloaded 4 investment properties in the last 6 months...I made profits on all of them, but that's because I purchased them at good prices, rented all of them for a period of time to make additional profits, and when I did sell them I put them on the market at reasonable prices and didn't expect appreciations of 10-20%/year over the last 2 years...I have many friends, though, even here in Philly area, who have properties (both investment and main homes) that have languished for months because the sellers cannot get their heads around the fact that it's not 2004 anymore, some people really are in denial...I've been taking my real estate proceeds and put a good portion into Municipal bonds, the credit crunch has created a bizarre scenario where yields on munis (which earn tax-free interest) are actually higher than the yields on taxable treasuries right now...if your looking for an investment you can hold long term (and not worry about short-termprincipal price fluctuations), I recommend all to check out municipal bonds, you can currently get many with over a 5% interest rate, and remember, that's TAX FREE...and no, I don't sell muni bonds for a living either, LOL...;-)

Alessandra said...

pch, glad to hear you're a happy drunk. Nazdrave, indeed!

Today is Ruth Ryon's last column in the LA Times and starts out with the trend among celebrities to buy lofts downtown. Now, as RE investments go, this trend is a shaky one. I can see where buying and holding downtown could have merit, though if I were investing, I'd buy old buildings with land, not condos, as eventually some developer would want my parcel and if it was something not remotely special, I'd profit and not feel guilty about it being demolished.

But my RE palm reading doesn't see lofts in downtown as a powerful near-term investment. Downtown LA is just not there yet. It is not walkable, public transportation is still difficult, parking is weird, and it is bounded on all sides by marginal and transitional neighborhoods.

But maybe Johnny Depp, John Stamos et al. know something I don't. Or they're getting deals from developers for attaching their names to purchases. Or they've got money to burn.

anxious buyer said...

big daddy thanks for the info

I will look into it

as they say you can never go wrong with bonds

the good ones do not go up that much but they will still be there no matter how bad things get.

blue chip stocks as well in the food and beverage area come to mind, folks have to eat.

anyway thanks and I am glad for you that you did well in Philadelphia

oh

as for that place that has been way over exposed by now, it needs a huge discount to sell, say 7MM off, then the buyers will come in droves the price will go back up and it will sell for a realistic price I am sure.

Rumor has it that the money pot for high end homes has shrunk by 90%, sure there are companies spending billions buying up real estate still, but they buy up blocks of neighborhoods and sometimes whole communities at a time for pennies on the dollar, they are not interested in more high end homes, they have enough of those already that they are trying to unload themselves.

Anonymous said...

Reduced 200K. Owner says "SELL" Fabulous City,Canyon and Ocean views

now this home in the hollywood hills is listed for 1.7MM a 200k reduction is an insult, try 1.2MM reduction

I have to say that soon the realtors are going to be pricing themselves out of a once professional career and makingit extinct, and they deserve it, most of them are very arrogant, cocky and are still in denial, the home should have been listed at 700k in the first place, then you do a 200k reduction then you have a sale, DOPES !!!

Anonymous said...

btw I am not in real estate but my uncle is and he will not buy until others start buying again in droves so I guess I am protesting on his behalf and it looks like many homes are listed to high to begin with in any market, I do not know if it has anything to do with the low comissions realtors get ? I read that they only get 1% each after the 6% is all split up, who knows, but I agree prices to have to come down or we will all pay the price.

Anonymous said...

Bigdaddyj, it's the same person. He always falls back on the same insults, same writing style. All his posts are all reoccurring.

a) LA prices need to drop 70-90%.

b) He has a lot of cash but won't spend it.

c) He failed geography. That or has never been to Los Angeles.

d) He has a fascination with ugly houses that he thinks Mama should write up. Sunset Plaza is his favorite but he went on and on a while ago about the other ugly monstrosity in Mt. Olympus that no one is interested in.

e) He has a lot of "friends" with very poor judgment and/or financial skills.

The only way he will ever live in Sunset Plaza is if someone is nice enough to leave a refrigerator box on the curb for him. He'll have to watch out for the garbage man on Thursdays though.

Alessandra said...

Oh, dear God. I'm off to show some property in NoHo. It's a short sale townhome for $269k. And quite frankly, I'd rather be showing property than responding to ignorance, but I. can't. stand. it. any. longer.

1)A Realtor will help a seller price a house. A good Realtor will have excellent and specific comps. In this market, unless the particular home in question is somehow so divine that it deserves to be priced higher than recent sales, most good Realtors are advising their clients to start about 5-10% below recent sales. The key word is "advising". It is impossible to be an ethical agent and not give your client the choice. And most sellers want the most for their home. Some deservedly so, others not so much. So, one advises one's client, one cajoles, one suggests that a particular price may not garner the interest that the seller wants and then after one has planted all these seeds, one hopes that the seller goes for the lower price. In my experience, they always go for the higher price and then take a price cut a month or two down the line.

So, please, if you must blame anyone for prices, blame the sellers.

2)Commissions are split, typically 50-50 between listing and selling agents. However, the brokerage gets its cut first. So, unless one is a broker and has one's own brokerage and double ends the deal, one does not get to keep the entire commission.

3)The buying and selling of real estate, at least in CA, is incredibly complicated. My file on a closed transaction is typically at least three inches thick. A more tedious transaction can encompass an entire folding file. It is not impossible for a buyer or seller to act without help from a Realtor, but most people discover, once they've tried to do it on their own, that a good Realtor is worth every penny.

4)And for all the haters out there, I'm having one of my best years of business so far. I welcome a stabilizing market, and I have no problem if a few 100,000 of my fellow agents leave the business. I am damned good at at I do, I work hard, and my clients are not only satisfied with my work, they refer their friends and family, which is one of the highest compliments I can receive.

And one more thing to people who don't understand RE pricing...every single fucking home out there is unique. Just because one house sells for $1.5mm, that does not mean its neighbor can't sell for $2.5mm and be worth every penny. Conversely, its neighbor might only be worth $750m. And a smart buyer ( and ultimately it is the BUYER who must know whether or not a house and price is right) has seen enough houses to know if she is getting a good deal.

And let's not forget the emotional component to buying, either.

So, all you anonymous folks can keep blathering on and on and on about the market, but until you're able to actually bring something useful to the conversation, I'm not listening. But at least now you can't plead ignorant.

And don't bother me with questions. I'm busy. I'm hormonal. And I'm late.

anxious buyer said...

realtor you have one good point

you are surviving and thriving and good for you.

I have read that there are over 1MM iicensed realtors in CA, I am sure that number will drop dramatically, and you are right the more of them that go out of business the more sales you will have.

So good for you !!!!

Anonymous said...

Alessandra, you are my favorite person.

One of your best years ever sounds far better than the "surviving" avg joe/anxious buyer is willing to concede. Congratulations.

Hopefully you won't have him calling you asking if he can buy that townhome for 55k. And if he does - we will all testify on your behalf. "Your honor, we know it looks bad that she stabbed him 50 times with an open house sign stake but she was hormonal!"

so_chic_darling said...

Bravo Alessandra you tell them!So glad to hear that you're having a great year,mine's been up and down in luxury retail here in New York,a little more up right now so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I hate all the debbie downers too and I include the entire media industry who keep SCREAMING recession and trying to scare everyone.Yes there are some problems with the economy but this is a huge diverse country with so much going for it.CNN would have you believe that all the lights are going to go off and we will be grubbing around for roots to eat.
I have am immigrants faith in this country that has been so good to me.
There will always be growth here and opportunity,but the news will always be nothing but the bad news because that's what they do.

average joe said...

maybe the media has to stretch out the truth because they have huge rent to pay themselves ?

maybe or maybe they are downplaying the real disaster lurking in the shadows, I do not know, but the stories that I hear recently from folks on the blogs, most of which are real downers such as police patrols being pulled out of certain up scale communities because the budget just is not there and so crime is going way up, so I wonder if the media is hiding a massive iceberg that we cannot see yet, I only hope that our great government of ours can steer the ship out of the way in time so that we do not become another titanic.

so_chic_darling said...

Shut the fuck up!

wanda sykes said...

thank god for alessandra, a voice of reason in all this mess.

I'm not defending any industry or the real estate market or anything. but blaming real estate agents for high prices is the lowly and sorry tactic of someone looking to lash out at someone, anyone, in an effort make themselves feel better about a real estate market that passed them by.

Isnt' it interesting that this blog is about celebrity real estate and these few dudes who have an ax to grind with the market get to dictate the conversation. Aren't there other blogs for people to talk about that stuff?

Can we get back to discussing the house in Nashville that Nicole Kidman just bought. Or the one in brentwood they didn't buy.

bentley said...

Oh bless, Alessandra, thank you! That dirge was wearing thin.

I'm high off a new car, a boozy lunch and I need some Mama. I bet she's too plastered on Mai Tai's or what have you.

I'm baffled by the disparity between the front and rear facades of Kidman's new place. The back looks like Wayne Manor and the front, well, boring as hell, no?

Anonymous said...

There is the debby downer (love that!) blog. I refuse to repeat the url because they need to PAY Mama for the advertising.

I will share one funny post I read there. They all claim to have loads of money. Since a bank account is only FDIC insured for 100k, they say to keep 100k in the bank, hide the rest in your mattress or safe, whatever. Wouldn't it make more sense to put 100k in BofA, 100k in Wells Fargo, 100k in Chase...you get the point. Nope. Hide all but a 100k in the house. No need to worry about losing your LIFE if anyone finds out you have that kind of cash laying around. Bunch of dorks.

They apparently get too depressed talking amongst themselves so they have to seek out happy children to drag down with them.

Anonymous said...

Here is a new listing in Beverly Hills that the children can discuss amongst ourselves while Mama is tanning and pickling.

901 Foothill, Bevely Hills, CA

http://guests.themls.com/profile_page.cfm?mls=07-178953&tab=search

A 70 foot living room and a nightclub that seats 100?

anxious buyer said...

that looks like Ted Fields place, I was at a party there a while ago, very nice place.

on another note

I would not trust anyones word at this time in the banking world, remember enron ? katrina ?

besides if your money is gone and the FDIC cannot or will not pay it back 100% what are you going to do, sue them ?

and what if the FDIC branch was dissolved right after the crash ?

All I am saying is be careful and aware, you and only you can look out for yourself.


These programs are designed to help us out in normal good or bad times, when the programs get catastrophically overwhelmed they shut down, go into a frozen status, dissolve altogether, or declare bankruptcy.

I for one did not miss out on the RE market, and I got burned burned and burned, fried, cooked and boiled, never again.

Alessandra said...

Wow, that place on Foothill in BH is quite...something. The kitchen is miserable, but I doubt that the owners use it. And who cares about the aching feet of the staff?

I'm always fascinated by homes where they have actual pubs in the house or an actual theater that seats forty or something else that seems incredibly excessive and useless in the daily scheme of life. And I find the people who buy such homes to be equally fascinating. In a Gatsby-like sense, I often wonder how happy they truly are.

Alessandra said...

And Bentley, I don't like Nicole Kidman's TN spread. Didn't like it when the buyer was allegedly Jessica Simpson and I don't like it now. It's just too nouveau for me, in all the negative connotations of that word.

pch said...

But Alessandra, how'd the NoHo short sale showing go?

My nitpicking for 901 Foothill starts with the 28,000-square-foot lot -- too little land for a property fronting the north side of Sunset, in my opinion. Overbuilt, overbuilt, overbuilt. And unless you're a caftan-wearing impresario like Allan Carr (yes, another of my back-in-the-day sorties), you have no business owning a house with mirrored tiles on the living room ceiling or a private discotheque.

For the same money go a couple blocks up the hill and buy what's-his-face's house on Calle Vista with almost an acre and a half, stunning views and a cool old house primed for restoration.

Bigdaddyj said...

901 Foothill in BH is by NO means a new listing, the house has been on and off the market for at least the last 3 years at various prices with no takers...

aunt mary said...

Mama, are you reading this? What hath you wrought? So much fun! I'm two g&t's into my evening and I have some comments to make to my fellow chilrens.

Alessandra, honey, I have one word for you: chocolate. Boat loads. Also, you are so right on about emotion in buying a house. My son and his wife just bought a new house. She and I just fell in love with a certain house, as he was out of town when we viewed it. We had it decorated and furnished in our minds before he even saw it. He hardballed the seller since he wasn't in love, but if my dau-in-law and I were in charge we would have paid asking price. So sellers would be wise to ferret out the interest of "in love" buyers. They bought the house, but at about a 7% discount.

So_Chic, honey, I wish I could put in a $250,000 order for bric-a-brac for my son's new home. But they don't like my style! :( You know how I loves me a cabbage rose and a needlepoint pillow. So Chic, darling, I agree with your sentiments about the naysayers of this economy. Of course, if my confidence in the safety of secure bonds was trifled with, I'd be running for the hills. Bonds are safe aren't they? Huh? Bentley? You're a banker. Huh?

Wanda Sykes, honey, you are SO funny. I loved you on Curb.

Bentley, honey, what new car did you purchase? I hope it was a Prius. Like I give a shit. The first car I ever bought was a 1969 red Mustang. 8 cylinders. Stick shift. Muscle. $2800. I had my picture taken on the hood of said vehicle, smoking a cigarette, wearing polka dot bell bottoms and threatened to use it as my engagement photo.

pch, you know I christened you Peaches, tho, I know the pch stands for Pacific coast highway. Anyway, I want to say that I appreciate so much what you add to the tenor of this blog. Smart, witty, no nonsense. However, I love me some nonsense, don't you know.

To all y'all, I've never even been in California! So what am I doing reading this blog? I just love all y'all and wouldn't care if you were discussing potato futures. You are all so much fun.

Love, Aunt Mary.

bigdaddyj said...

Alessandra, you are so right, that hideous night-club room screams "I have no friends", LOL...though I will caveat that by saying that, in LA at least, I can see the necessity of having a very large screening room in your home if you are a director or producer or somehow involved in the film business...and I could see having a cabaret or pub if you throw a lot of charity or political fundraisers at your house, but I agree, I'm sure 90% of people who have such elaborate entertainment spaces in their homes don't ever use them anywhere near their capacities...

Bigdaddyj said...

Aunt Mary,

See one of my previous posts for a little bit of exposition on why now is a good time to buy tax-free municipal bonds, LOL

Anyone know where I can find pics of the house @ 2703 Nichols Canyon Road in the Hollywood Hills? The exterior shot and the description have me very interested to see what the interior and grounds look like, but so far I haven't been able to dig anything up...the description, location and 1 pic have me enthralled...obviously, this place is either a) so great they are confident they don't even need to publicly distribute any pics or b) the place is hideous, would love to know which is the case...;-)

aunt mary said...

bigdaddyj, hmmmmmm, I'll look into that. You, also, are a delightful contributor to this folly, otherwise known as Mama's blog.

And, yes, all you other brothers and sisters, who shall go unnamed, since you won't come out from behind your anon facades, love you too!

Mama! Are you paying attention? We are hungry. The chocolate frosted sugar bomb cereal is all gone. Come home!

Anonymous said...

Evening all!

To Anxious Buyer...According to reporting in this past week's Barron's, the number of banks the FDIC is currently keeping a close eye on amount to less than 1/2 of 1% of the total number of banks in this country. During the last recession, just a few short years ago, the FDIC had between 4 & 5% of banks on their watch list. I don't believe we've seen the bottom yet as the large banks are still dragging their feet on writing off all the trash investments that they won't see a dime for. We all know economies are cyclical. We'll all be fine in time.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you who contribute to the comments section. This website has become one of my favorites because of all the sass, wit, humor, intelligence and just plain fun you all bring. But, most of all, a thanks to Mama for making it all happen. Enjoy the roasting of the naughty bits Mama. Have a great night!

Peace
Joel

anxious buyer said...

FYI on the foothill house

I saw prince charles at a party there years ago, if it is the same house I am thinking of, from the outside it does not look like much but the inside is HUGE !!! I was lost in that place, in case you do not know who Ted Fields is, look him up..

now as far as bonds are concerned,

the day that the bonds go belly up is the day that we have another haiti on our hands.

not going to happen !!! at least not in this century

with that said

I bid all of you a good night.

Anonymous said...

Ted Field link


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Field

pch said...

Peaches! Way too excellent, Aunt Mary. But a nickname I'd never live down if family and friends got hold of it...so let's keep it just between us :)

I look at that discotheque and assume someone's having a bar mitzvah. In 1987. I can almost hear Walk Like an Egyptian...

sandpiper said...

Hey bigdaddyj,
Your speculation on the Nichols Canyon spread being so cool no pics are needed is likely right on. Not totally certain, but have some indication it "may" belong to this gentleman, who definately owns this. Here's a top-down view.

Hey Bentley,
Tell us about your new ride! A hot little sports car? I'm banking that it's not a mini-van.

Oh Aunt Mary,
You have been verrrry entertaining today, as always. Funny girl. Maybe when Our Mama sees how good we've been, she'll toss us a little bon-bon to sustain us til mid-week.

Bigdaddyj said...

Thanks Sandpiper...any hints as to why you think this is the guy? From the aerial photo, I'm also assuming the property includes the adjacent parcel with the rather formall looking swimming pool as well...damn, now you've only made me want to see some shots of the interior and grounds even more!...;-)

Anonymous said...

2703 Nichols Canyon ... It was for sale a couple years back & it was absolutely vile - the pool is directly to the left if you're looking at aerial shots ... You have never seen anything like it - it's ghastly or it was ghastly - all greek statues & the like ... the worst pool I've ever laid eyes on! Of course it seems that it's had a complete renovation so we'll need to wait & see ... but it sits right on the road & has no real usable land so I think the price isn't very realistic ....

As we have to entertain ourselves has everyone seen this listing on Carbon Beach? It's listed with Paris' uncle Mauricio & is so overly priced it's unbelievable - sits right at the end of Carbon, is a fairly new build & is ... well, you all can be the judge! ... If this is worth $59M then Nancy Riordans that mama featured just the other month was worth $80M! But realistically, this place is worth less than $30M - the sellers have obviously been smoking crack!

http://www.laluxuryestates.com/address.php?property_ID=72

bentley said...

Oh my God, I bought a Cadillac. And it is SO FUCKING UGLY!!

Check it out: http://www.cadillac.com/cadillacjsp/model/gallery.jsp?model=srx

We needed a new family vibe as my wife decided that she could no longer in good conscience drive a Suburban. We can't travel as a family in one car anyway, but still require something substantial yet navigable, esp. in NYC.

Sandpiper, my car is hot, fast yet mannered, but it's big. I do have to shuttle little people here and there on occasion :)

Aunt Mary, oddly enough I, too, took a photo on the hood, shirtless, wearing polka dot bell bottoms and smoking a cigarette! I hope you still own the pony - excellent.

Is it me, or are people desperately inept at decorating master bedrooms?

If I had Guinness on tap in my home I would never be heard from again.

If I had a discotheque in my home I would never hear from anybody again.

Alessandra said...

Peaches! Hee.

Bentley, we'll buy you a nice keggerator tap for your Guinness with the nitrous feed (unless it's the nitrogen feed because the nitrous feed is deadly...don't ask me to recall my o-chem at 6:30am without coffee). However, you have to promise to share.

Aunt Mary, I love your 'Stang story, especially the fact that you drive (or drove) a stick shift. I still get looks for preferring them, but I'm a little crazy.

And the NoHo short sale was exactly what you'd expect...there was razor wire around the exterior fence, the shake roof is about 100 years old, the owners had converted their two car attached garage into a bedroom with two double beds (the place already had three bedrooms, two of which they were renting out because the doors just had deadbolts, no handles), the neighborhood was the kind that warranted the razor wire...I advised my client that it was a good deal from a price perspective, but that he wouldn't see tremendous appreciation over the next five years, and he'd have a hard time getting a quality roommate to share expenses (at least he was horrified by the flop-house garage).

Luckily, I was able to do 90 mph each way and thus only spent about an hour of my time, wherein I got home, negotiated another client into escrow and then took a nap on the couch while listening to Vin Scully call the Dodgers game.

bentley said...

A keggerator tap, Alessandra!? Mercy. Share I shall. Come, on, were you THAT girl at keg parties? I love it.

so_chic_darling said...

All I can say at this point is Aunt Mary is a real broad,and that's a word you don't hear too much in this day and age,an age of silly girls with giant designer handbags twittering into their cell phones.To me a broad is a tough Gal with an individual style,an American icon!

Anonymous said...

It's back.... I just saw that Avril "The Spitter" Laviqne house is back on the market by Mauricio Umansky. The house is very poorly staged this time, I guess poor staging might help but what the house really needs is a major decorating overhaul. The kitchen has stainless steel appliances with the exception of double wall ovens which are black? Talk about tackey. The picture of the circular staircase shows how rust laden it is and that poor, tired tennis court looks like it belongs on some abandoned out-of bizzzness resort. Sick.

Anonymous said...

Opps forgot...Here's the link to the tour

www.3331clerendon.com

the former tour is

www.3331clerendonroad.com

Alessandra said...

Is it wrong that I have a strong desire to take a bat the "architect"/builder for this hot mess?

As for the tennis court, it reminds me of a pit. One would expect to face the lions if one lost the game. Who needs that kind of pressure?

ed in westwood said...

my parents rented the foothill house for my 16th birthday party. mrs. fields baked my birthday cake herself. it was covered with cookies.

my uncle is friends with all the former governors of california so they all were there. madonna performed a duet with elvis. the entire casts of seinfeld and friends sang happy birthday. then i lost my virginity with anna nicole in the back seat of the mercedes my dad gave me.

pch said...

Keggerator? Alessandra might be the perfect woman.

Looks like the deck overlooking the gladiator pit tennis court needs a serious refinish.

Bentley, Cadillac loaned me a pre-production SRX back before they hit the market. (A few manufacturers consider me an "influencer" -- go figure -- and give me various stuff to try out.) It's definitely a mom-mobile, but it'd be on my short list if I had several kids like you do. I like the huge sunroof, the fact that the driver sits so close to the ground and its surprising athleticism. Particular fan of the steering feel and transmission -- I drove that thing hard.

Wow, do I miss Mama.

Anonymous said...

Mama we want you to have fun........We want some fun......
update pretty please????

bentley said...

Sounds like quite a night, Eddie my boy, but did YOU have a keggerator!?

Despite the fact that you're mocking, I'm still laughing about Mrs. Fields' cookie covered birthday cake. Well done.

Speaking of gin, during my boozy lunch yesterday I drank Hendricks. It's pretty mainstream nowadays, but if you haven't imbibed, I urge you to. It's made from cucumbers and rose petals among other esoteric ingredients. Deelish.

real ed from westwood said...

hey to the fake ed in westwood

"my parents rented the foothill house for my 16th birthday party "


ED that house is not for rent you douche bag loser

get a life you loser LOSER !!!!

Bigdaddyj said...

New to the market in Beverly Hills today, 1108 Tower Road, listed @$24-million...not really my style of place (I like my Mediterranean's a little older and more authentic), but just figured I'd throw this out there to keep the conversation going whilst our Mama is away...website address is
http://www.1108tower.com/

Hmmm, in keeping it celeb themed (so I don't get chided for bring up non-celeb homes again, LOL), is this next-door to the Posh/Becks estate?

Discuss or not, that's up to y'all...;-)

Parker said...

First, I'm so grateful to each and every one of you who negates gloom and doom economy stories. I'm so sick of hearing the rest.

Alessandra, cheers to driving a stick shift! People think I'm nuts for preferring them but I like to feel the car and driving. We lost so much money trying to sell one of my last cars (Volvo - attempt at a mom car before I had my 3rd kid) because NO ONE wants to drive stick.

Bentley, loved the disco comment.

sandpiper said...

Hi bigdaddyj,
Can't a girl have some mystery?!

Bemtley,
A Caddy? Way nice. Big and safe for the transport of precious cargo. Hope your lunch (LOL) didn't lead to sneaking a smoke...windows down, sunroof open and vents blasting!

Anonymous said...

*real* ed from westwood...is that like the posts from *real* average joe?

bentley said...

Oh Sandpiper, I was definitely NOT behind the wheel post-lunch. I definitely did, however, have a smoke. Just one, on the roof. Smoking in my wife's car is tantamount to some heinous evil and would result in a very dry spell for yours truly. She abhors it.

Bigdaddyj, I really like certain aspects of Tower Rd. The pool is lovely, the rooms aren't over the top in grandeur and scale - i.e. cold and sterile - and I like the unique shapes and angles. Interesting place. That fountain, though, terrible call.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that Tower Rd propery is right next to the Beckhams - it's the other flag shaped lot in between Tower & San Ysidro - but I agree, it's not very nice ...

Any Malibu experts? I'm completely stumped with this one & I know Malibu pretty well ... I just have no idea where it is ... Anyway, $150M listing with Stephen Shapiro ... Please enlighten me with the location!

http://www.w-e-agency.com/idetail.php?id=770

Where the hell on Point Dume is this place? I've never seen it ...

pch said...

That Malibu listing has me baffled. The photo looks like a building superimposed on the open headland where Birdview turns into Cliffside...unless someone built there recently? I always thought that was public land, but I can't think where else on Point Dume it could be. It's like some parallel Hogwarts universe and the muggles got a glimpse of it...

Anonymous said...

I bet it is a left over April Fools Day joke. Tony Stark & Stark Industries are from a Marvel Comic book.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stark_Industries

The listing says built in 1980 so it would definitely show up in the coastal records photos and it doesn't. At least not at Pt. Dume.

29 Stumps said...

Hello Fellow Children'zzzz,
After falling into this site a little over a week ago, I am sooooo addicted to frosted chocolate sugar bombs, (I snuck a bowl when no one was looking before they were et up by my new brothers & sisters YUMMY!) This site is so much fun. Mama has such a knack for words, you just can't help but love her. Shout out to Mama on the tennis court, (cuz like a good little child, I don't want to think about Mama's nood bitz...but I'm sure they are Fabulous, none the less! :o)

Since I never really thought about Real Estate Porn before finding my new family, I'm still trying to wrap my teenie little brain (in comparison to Mama's of course) around the houses and don't feel edumacated enough to comment on whether or not the giant property is good, bad, or otherwise.

Brother Bentley, I someday hope to own a Caddilac...and have always loved the 'Double Barrel' mufflers...Someday...(drifting off into la-la land thinking about sporting around 29 Stumps in my 'Maroon Double Barrel Caddy'...)

Thanks to most of my brother's & sisters, you know who you are...(but seriously, don't we all have that one brother or sister that isn't satisfied without having the last word?? Geez!) for making my boring job a little bit more fun (cuz I sneek in to see what everyone is talking about...but don't tell...it's a secret!)

Anonymous said...

PCH ...

Thats where I thought it was - right at the tip of Point Dume with Zuma in the distance but that is public land ... I also thought about it being an April Fools but why? If it was, surely W-E-A would have removed it by now? What about Ashton Kutchers new show? I know it's to Punk the paparazzi & media - does real estate media count?

I am totally stumped & it's annoying me! Mama, I know ur on vacation but can you get to the bottom of it on your return ... Or if Mister Bigtime is reading - can you shed any light?

Anonymous said...

^

Ha! I don't read comic books so I just assumed Stark Industries was real - clearly not after reading the wikipedia link! I seriously thought I was going crazy & this property existed in Malibu ... So I guess it's just a leftover April fools or something along those lines ... They got me bigtime!

Anonymous said...

I'm 2:33. I would love it if it did. Looks like an amazing house. I wonder if it does really exist perhaps in another country.

I also posted 901 Foothill thinking it was a new listing which apparently it isn't. I guess the listing date in the MLS was just an update.

Hey, at least we're trying to keep downer debby at bay!

sandpiper said...

Hey PCH & 1:48,

Super interesting observation, 1:48.

PCH, you've lived there, mee too, within eyeshot of where this should be. Know the point and Zuma well. This house should be about where you say, plus pushed out to the cliffs, based on a beach over it's shoulder. But that's not even Zuma. The background should be packed with houses, though it's not. I dropped it into photoshop to see if it was doctored, then elected not to waste my/our time.

This pic is not on Point Dume. Definately not.

Somebody is playing with us. Blowing smoke you know where...

Alessandra said...

Fascinating. A phantom beach house.

pch said...

Now it makes sense. Probably part of a viral PR campaign for the Jon Favreau-helmed Iron Man with Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. Opens May 2nd.

average joe said...

Your right !!!

That is ironmans compound !!!

He may have to sell it though for 5MM if the movie bombs

lol

btw "negates" is that a harvard word ? parker are you trying to tell us that you come from an ivy league backround ? impressive

average joe said...

btw I flew over that area today in my chopper, I have a euro copter, just in case, and there is no estate of that magnitude in point dume, what a waste of money and gas, it must be a viral campaign

Bigdaddyj said...

FYI I just pasted the link for the $150-million Malibu house into my browser and got an empty Westside Estate Agency page, so looks like it was a joke or part of a movie promotion and they've since taken it down..

average joe said...

bdj - they accepted my cash offer of $13 today. one of my conditions was the listing had to be removed from the internet immediatly as i need my privacy. you are welcome to come to my housewarming party tomorrow but don't bring any of the loosers from this site. walk through the park and i will meet you and show you the secret entrance.

average joe said...

that was not me but can someone put back up that pict ?

Thanks

Anonymous said...

looks like the Sydney Kimmell estate is up for sale again

http://www.luxuryrealestate.com/669464

Alessandra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pch said...

Turns out I still had that deleted fake-o Malibu listing in a browser -- I took snapshots of the description and doctored photo, and put them at The Children's Table.

Alessandra said...

You rule. "The Children's Table", indeed. Do we get to be in the kitchen? That's where all the best parties end up...

Then again, I'm an only child, so there as no such experience for me. Just being told to sit quietly and not disturb the adults. Hmph.

pch said...

What a drag! Alessandra, you can take the party wherever you like :)

Parker said...

pch, you rock.

pch said...

Oh, and Parker, was meaning to say my daily driver is a 6-speed manual. So it looks like a lot of us have that preference in common...

Parker said...

NIce, pch. Make me jealous, what do you drive?

bentley said...

The Children's Table - love it! As the youngest of 4 I spent lots of time there while the adults did who knew what and who cared what behind the big, closed dining room doors!

PCH - an M5?

What a ruse on the Malibu house.

pch said...

Bingo, Bentley. Nice guess.

Alessandra said...

Parker, what's funny about my stick shift is that in theory, it will probably be more difficult to sell, but whenever I valet or am at the gas pump (I do pump my own, unless my husband is available), my car gets tons of admiring glances from men. And often, they come up and ask about it.

The funny thing is, it is such an entry level luxury sedan, but it suits my needs so well, as it is AWD and a manual. I am loath to give it up.

The point is that stick shifts have become such a rarity that enthusiasts are willing to go to great lengths to either get one or keep it.

I have a friend who is producing a show about athletes and their rides. It would be interesting to see what they drive (my guess is a lot of Escalades, Range Rovers and Bentleys).

Parker said...

pch, you're killing me. I used to drive an M3. Loved it passionately, so much so that I thought it was worth the hassle of wrenching my back everyday to squeeze two kids into car seats in the back, rather than owing a more practical car that actually had four doors. We still talk about owning an M5 one day, but we need to be done with car seats and we need to take care of education expenses...

Alessandra, I hope I find one of those enthusiasts when we try to sell our X3 with the manual transmission. I dread the day we try to sell that car because I don't want to hear people scoff and say, "OH, I didn't know it was a stick shift!" because they don't know how to read the ad. We spent about 6 months trying to sell our stupid Volvo (good car, but not my style, hated the way it handled) because of that one issue. Oh well, it's still worth it.

WillLDS said...

Parker...

Let me know when you're ready to sell, I'll take that manual X3 off your hands. How far are you from Indiana? One of the things that attracted me to my wife was when we started dating, she drove a stick. Now it was only her dad's little Ford Ranger truck (she's an Okie) but it had a clutch none the less. I had two Audi's, both 5-speed, of course she got the new one and I got the old one, but they were so fun to drive, even in the snow. Now as we progress in our marriage, have a kid and two dogs and different jobs, I'm stuck with an expedition and an Impala. Both great cars in their own right, but NOTHING beats german engineering (automotive) and neither car brings a smile to my face to drive like my A4 did. I'm excited about the Q5 that should be out later this year, but as bad for the enviornment as it is, and as unpractical as it is for a guy with a wife and a baby, my wife will never let me get rid of the expedition

bentley said...

Had one, sold it, miss it terribly. Write it off to capricious youth and a fondness for rides from the other side of the channel.

Women who drive stick, be it a Ford Ranger or sweet lil' Audi, are h-o-t.

I hear you willds. I loved our Suburban. My daughter called it the floaty car, because she said it was like driving the living room sofa. But PCH, you're right, the SRX is nimble. The Suburban was ungainly. Lurching around Manhattan in that thing was absurd.

Mama seems to be a car gal (I wonder where they park their fleet of Beamers in NYC!?) I hope she doesn't spank us for this turn of events. I just can't help myself.

Anonymous said...

Bentley

Talking about Mamas Beamers in NYC ... I'm shipping over a classic from Europe after summer & want a specialist storage facility, primarily for collectors cars ... I can only find one in Bedford Hills which is too far from downtown Manhattan - You don't happen to know of any places that offer a similar service in Brooklyn, Queens or Jersey?

I already have a monthly spot near my apt in the West Village for my regular car but I just don't trust them with a collectors car & it's proving difficult to find anywhere suitable. It's getting to the stage that I might have to just leave it in Europe - Any ideas that doesn't involve me schlepping out to Westcheter County?

bentley said...

Anon 12:42 - I've never stored a car, but I can certainly ask around. I do know people who have stored classic cars at the garages that service them in/around the city, but I have no idea what the cost is or what their relationship was with the establishments...

aunt mary said...

29 stumps, greetings, I must say your nickname is intriguing. I'm not sure I want to know what it stands for! Do you look forward to 30 stumps or are you just grateful that it's only 29 stumps and wish it were 28 or 27? Hmmm.

WillLDS said...

Bentley...

One thing I have noticed about the Impala, when a Jaguar comes up behind me, it instinctively starts going faster ;) (there's a little animal kingdom/automotive humor for you)

Aunt Mary...

I'm just guessing, but the 29 stumps sounds like a disgruntled Marine either in or formerly in Twentynine palms, CA. Maybe not disgruntled with the Corp, but with the realization that Twentynine Palms is not the California portrayed on TV

aunt mary said...

willds, ahh, my ignorance of California is showing.

Anonymous said...

FREDERICK W. "TED" FIELD

Net Worth: $1.4 billion [up arrow] 16.7%

Last Year: $1.2 billion

Age: 52

Residence: Beverly Hills

Source of Wealth: Inheritance, entertainment

Background: Made his money the old-fashioned way: wrestling with half-brother in court over inheritance of dad's Marshall Field & Co. department store fortune. Founded Interscope Records; sold it to Universal for $330 million. Was brought on to head ArtistDirect Inc. and turn dot-com into traditional music company, but it lost $45 million and continues to lose amid competition from major labels. Resigned, but remains head of ArtistDirect Records and Radar Pictures and Radar Records. Executive producer of films for Radar Pictures, including "The Last Samurai" and "Chronicles of Riddick." Recent films, including "Son of the Mask," a sequel to hugely successful "The Mask," have flopped, but "Amityville Horror" remake appears successful in box office and reviews. Member of President's Committee of American Civil Liberties Union; donated $25,000 to Democratic National Committee in 2004 election cycle. Divorced three times, has nurtured a playboy-type image around town.

Anonymous said...

Ted Field is or was the owner of the foothill drive house

Anonymous said...

YAWN

bentley said...

BTW Anon 12:42, what kind of car is it?